Page 49 of Pregnant By the Playboy

Vince

“Guess what?” I say to Evie as I drive a firetruck over the play mat. “I’m going to tell the family my secret today. You remember what I told you before, don’t you?”

I turn Evie in my lap so she’s facing me, and she looks at me solemnly.

“You’re getting a baby cousin, remember?”

Evie sticks her fingers in her mouth, which I’m sure is a sophisticated baby way of saying, Yes, Uncle Vince, I remember everything.

“I bet they’ll be at least as cute as you. After all, I’m better-looking than your father.”

She scrunches up her face and looks skeptical.

“No,” I say, “I’m not sure whether it’ll be a girl or a boy. Which would you prefer?”

“You’re having a baby?”

I whip my head around. Courtney and Julian are standing at the door.

“Uh,” I say. “I mean, I’m not pregnant, obviously. But a woman is having my baby, yes.”

Geez, I’m usually a little smoother than this.

Courtney and Julian come into the room, their mouths hanging open. Eventually, Courtney kneels down beside me and gives me a hug.

“What’s Uncle Vince been telling you?” She picks up Evie. “You’ve known for weeks, haven’t you? And you didn’t say anything?”

Evie gurgles.

“Are you happy?” Courtney asks me. “I assume it was unexpected.”

“Yeah.” I turn to my brother. “I wasn’t stupid and careless. We took appropriate precautions, but you know, not everything is a hundred percent. But I’m happy.”

Julian says nothing for a long time, but finally he cracks a smile. “You’re definitely not better-looking than me.”

I throw my head back and laugh, and then I swear them to secrecy.

My whole family is coming over to Julian and Courtney’s house today, and it’s the perfect time to say something. I would have told them last Sunday, but we went out to a Chinese restaurant in Scarborough for lunch, one of those crowded restaurants that white people don’t go to—unless they’re married to Asians—with brisk weekend service. It just wasn’t the right time.

Tonight, however, is different.

I wait until we’re eating dessert. Julian has baked lemon squares, and I pour myself another cup of jasmine tea before saying, “I have an announcement.”

“You got a girl pregnant?” Cedric says. “I knew this would happen eventually.”

I look at Courtney. “You told him?”

“Wasn’t me,” she says. “Evie must have done it.”

Evie squawks from her high chair.

“Wait, are you serious?” Cedric asks. “I was just kidding! I thought you’d gotten a job or started a company.”

I glare at him. “I’m serious. She’s thirteen weeks along.”

“Ah, this is exactly what I told you to do!” Po Po nods approvingly. “I said you were getting old, you should have a baby. Who is this woman? How long have you been together? When will you get married?”

“We’re not a couple.” I won’t lie to my family. “But she’s pregnant, and it’s mine.”