Page 104 of Praising Haru

“Sexually? No, we weren’t. Emotionally? We might have been. I’ve been trying to figure out the moment I fell for you, but I can’t. It was gradual. The only thing I know for sure is that it started before you returned to Leeds.”

I frown and think back, also trying to pinpoint the exact moment Kyle started to make my heart sing. I can’t. But I smile at the memory of his daily good morning texts. Him sending me photos so I could give him fashion advice. Making sure I got home safely if I’d gone out clubbing or met a guy via an app. He’s been taking care of me for longer than I realised, and I’ve adored him for it for just as long.

But I can’t see a future for us, for all the reasons I’ve stated. I can’t stay. He’d be miserable if he left. One of us would have to make sacrifices too great for a new relationship to be able to handle.

“Would long distance be enough for us?” I ask.

“We won’t know unless we try.”

I nod.

“Go to those job interviews. Assuming you get a job offer—which you will—we can try the long-distance thing. If we’re still together in six months, I’ll move to London to be with you.”

“You don’t want to move.”

“Beautiful, if we’re still together in six months, I won’t care where I am as long as I’m close to you. My job is not location specific. Yours is.”

“Six months.”

“I think that’s enough time to know we want to stay together, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And it’s not that long.”

“It feels like forever.”

“I know, baby. But it’s not.” He rests his chin on my shoulder. “I can’t make career decisions for you, but I think it would be a fucking shame if you turned your back on your dreams. I won’t try to stop you if that’s what you want to do, but you don’t. Do you?”

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head.

“And that’s okay, beautiful. What are you going to do?”

“Reply to those emails and set up interviews. And then take a shower and eat some chicken noodle soup.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “My parents won’t be home for a couple of hours. We could shower together.” I need to be close to him. “They did go to work, didn’t they?”

He chuckles. “Yes. Your mum looked in on you before she left. You were asleep.”

“Shower?”

“I’d like that.”

“After I reply to those emails.”

I go to my desk to retrieve my laptop. I end up tilting my head and rubbing my eyes. “Since when do I have two cacti?” Am I delirious or dreaming? The new one is round.

“Since yesterday. You were too out of it to appreciate it.”

I pick up the laptop and hug it to my chest as I face Kyle. “You bought me a cactus because I was sick?”

“Yes.”

My knees go weak. “Thank you.”

“It should flower if you take care of it.”

“I will. Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say, so I put my laptop on the bed and thank Kyle with a long kiss.

“You’re welcome, beautiful. You were going to arrange those job interviews.”