Page 103 of Praising Haru

“Yesterday morning before I texted you.”

“Maybe you should check again.”

Does he know something I don’t? I turn and pluck my phone off its charging stand. I have a lot of missed messages. Some are from Kyle, which he must have sent before coming over. Did he try to check on me during his breaks yesterday? I have a message from Hayley and two emails from the companies I sent my urban wild collection, both sent this morning. Kyle must have seen the incoming notifications as they lit my screen up.

“Aren’t you going to read them?”

I nod and open the oldest email. A mixture of joy and sadness swirls within me. “They love my designs and want to invite me to an interview.” They’ve given me two different dates and times to choose from.

“I told you they’d realise how amazing you are. I’m so proud of you, beautiful.”

I stay quiet as I read the second email. “They want to interview me too.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“One of their suggested dates coincides with the other company.”

“You could interview for them both in one trip.” Kyle’s voice is wobbly and raw.

I nod.

“You deserve this, baby. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

I put my phone on the stand and curl up, laying my head on Kyle’s lap.

He strokes my hair. “You don’t have to reply right now. Wait until you’re feeling better.”

I clutch his leg and close my eyes. I should be happy and excited, but instead, I’m sad. This could be the beginning of the end for me and Kyle.

“You have a dream. Being made redundant was a bump in the road, but now you’ve got two companies wanting to interview you. I know one of them will snap you up. I bet you get offers from them both.”

“Maybe.”

“You will. Believe in yourself. You’re amazing.”

“What about us?”

He sighs. “I don’t know, baby.”

“We weren’t good at sticking to our friends-with-benefits arrangement, were we?” My voice is broken and croaky.

“My heart got in the way.”

“Mine too.” I open my eyes and roll onto my back so I can look at him. “Would you—would you ever consider moving to London?” My heart hammers as I wait for him to respond.

“What are you asking?”

I shrug. Is it too early to think about moving in together? “When I get a new job, it will be in London.”

“Yes.”

“That would mean saying goodbye and going back to talking online, and I-I don’t want that. But we’ve been together for barely anytime at all, and neither of us can make life-changing decisions based on a few weeks. Moving to London would be a huge deal for you. Your life is here. Your family is here. You’ve never wanted to live anywhere else. And why would you want to move to London? Sure, you’d get a job as a brickie, but would your wage go as far? No. You’d have to make huge sacrifices, and for what? A few-week-old relationship?” I’m babbling.

Kyle pulls me so I’m sitting on his lap with my head resting on his shoulder. I snuggle against him, craving his warmth and comfort.

“We could try the long-distance thing. We made it work for a year,” he says.

“We weren’t together then.”