Page 25 of Poppy Kisses (Return to Coal Haven #3)

Chapter Twelve

Poppy

What was I doing? I snapped back to focus on my laptop. Jensen had run to pick up Auggie from school. My body hummed from the minutes before he left. The way that man could twist me up should be illegal.

I could barely concentrate during my daily sessions. For the last four days, I stared at the clock, and an hour before school pickup, I went to the shop and got an orgasm and then I gave one—in that order. Each. Day.

I wanted more. Having his fingers in me or his tongue on me wasn’t enough.

I wanted him inside of me. I wanted to feel him moving in me.

But if we had sex… I had always been left disappointed with my previous partners.

Would Jensen feel the same about me? He’d been married to every man’s dream.

Hassie hadn’t needed him to help coach her through a business.

Hassie probably hadn’t needed to do much to blow his mind with a climax.

Just seeing her naked probably rocked his world more than I ever could.

I scrubbed my hands down my face. I wasn’t this insecure. Okay, I was, but not about me.

Maybe a little.

I could sit and spiral, or I could talk to someone. I picked up my phone and tapped into the text thread with my sisters.

Poppy: Can anyone meet me for a drink tonight?

I didn’t have to wait long.

Violet: Evander’s going to throw me out of the house if I say no, so yes. I need a night out.

Lily: I’m in. Where?

Clover: You guys are making me jealous. I’m two states away, but I’ll have a drink in solidarity for whatever Poppy’s going through when I’m out with Elijah tonight.

My lips curled into a sneer when I read her boyfriend’s name. Ugh. My appreciation crowded out my disgust. Clover could tell something was going on, and I hadn’t said a word.

Lily: OMG, what’s wrong? I’m so clueless.

Poppy: I need you to talk sense into me.

Clover: Bone him.

I laughed out loud, the sound bouncing off the walls.

Poppy: NO. I said talk sense into me.

Violet: I have to admit I agree with Clover.

Poppy: Then just let me get drunk and tell you why I shouldn’t. Meet me at 7, downtown, where Lily plays darts.

Violet: Deal.

Clover: To keep me in the loop—this is Daddy Jensen, right?

Poppy: Gross, Clover.

Clover: Bet that’s not what you said when his tongue was down your throat.

My cheeks heated, and I slid my phone across the desk. Jensen and Auggie would be back soon, and Jensen said he’d grill hot dogs and brats tonight. I was stupidly excited about something so simple.

My phone buzzed. I wasn’t going to look at it, but the all caps made it irresistible.

Clover: OHMYGOD HIS TONGUE’S BEEN DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!!

I groaned. I’d busted myself. Might as well not try and hide it since that was what I needed to talk to my sisters about.

Poppy: That’s not the only place it’s been.

Poppy: I owe you for that bet. He doesn’t have a tattoo of Hassie.

My phone exploded with replies filled with emojis—at least ten of them were eggplants.

Just when I thought it died down, there was one more buzz.

Daisy: I know I’m late to the party, but I can’t miss this.

The drone of Jensen’s pickup reached me.

I finished scheduling my calendar for next month so I could send the new summer schedules to the families I was working with.

How many would be willing to come to in-person tutoring and switch from Debbie’s place?

I didn’t want to poach her patients, but she was practically throwing them at me.

Being overbooked was a good problem to have and even more beneficial for me.

But the pressure grew with each client who indicated they would like to continue with me when I opened my doors.

I had the keys in my hands, but putting names on my list didn’t seem prudent until the work in the house was done. Then I could take on full-time clients.

Flutters erupted in my stomach. From the thought of my tutoring center actually happening, or because I’d get to see Jensen in a few minutes? We’d pretend we hadn’t just been half-naked in the shop getting each other off.

I shut down my computer. The weekend officially started.

I found Jensen at the grill. The garage door was open, so he could go use the table he had set up inside for his supplies. When he spotted me, his gaze heated and the corner of his mouth kicked up. Just from that, I could strip down again.

“Poppy! Come play with me!” Auggie yelled from the yard, where he dribbled a soccer ball around the trees.

I was on a trajectory to give Jensen a hello kiss like I hadn’t seen him all day. Like we were a real couple. We weren’t. We couldn’t be. Now was not the time to risk my heart and my personal life.

“I’ll be right there,” I called to Auggie.

I stopped far enough away from Jensen that I wouldn’t beeline straight for his arms. “I’m going to meet my sisters for a drink after dinner.

” I almost said if that’s okay, but we weren’t a real couple.

A few more repetitions might convince my body to behave.

“Sounds fun. Call me if you need a ride.”

“I joked I was getting drunk, but I’m not.” I just needed the girl talk. The reality check. Clover wouldn’t be there, so I might actually get one.

“Have fun.” His eyes twinkled.

After a couple of seconds, I caught myself staring at him. I jolted. “Excuse me, I have some passes to teach your son.”

I jogged to the yard where Auggie was, but really, I was running from Jensen and everything I wanted to do to him.

* * *

The bass of the band at the bar acted like a privacy wall. Sure, I had to practically yell to tell my sisters a PG13-rated version of what I was doing with Jensen, but they could barely make out what I was saying.

Finally, the band took a break, and the sound lowered to a dull roar.

“What are you afraid of?” Daisy asked, twirling her glass. Other than her, we’d all had our one drink and were sipping on our Blue Dolphins—water. “Falling for him and he doesn’t feel the same way? Or that he’ll fall for you and you won’t feel the same?”

That he wouldn’t fall as far as me. “Yes to both.” Close enough. “I mean, he married Hassie.”

She blinked at me like she couldn’t determine how that was critical.

“He also divorced Hassie.” Violet rested her chin in her hand. “If he was obsessed with her, he would’ve done everything to make it work.”

“Unless she refused to. I don’t really know what happened between them, but she’s still Auggie’s mom. She’s still in his life—and Jensen’s. What if he’s just waiting for his moment? For her to say, ‘Okay, now I’m ready to love you more than horses.’”

Lily snorted, digging her cherry out of her empty Shirley Temple. “From what little I remember, people like her don’t love men more than their horse—because the animal is the extension of self.”

That shouldn’t have made me feel so much better, but a part of me lifted. “Think so?”

Violet pursed her lips. “It doesn’t matter what we think. Have you talked to him about whether it’ll be just sex to him?”

I crossed my arms. “I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Can you imagine how awkward that would be if he thought I was looking for a love match and he just wants a good time until Hassie gets bored of barrel racing?”

“Hate to sound like a broken record,” Lily said, “but Hassie’s not going to get tired of barrel racing.”

“I want all or nothing.” I shook my head.

I couldn’t give Jensen all of me and then have her swoop in.

If a few comments when we were kids had stuck with me so long, what would that do?

I had a career to get off the ground. “Which is too bad because I really do want him.” His appetizers were amazing.

What would the full course be like? I’d hunger for nothing but him.

Violet’s face was screwed up like she was thinking hard. “What if…what if you had rules?”

I perked up. I knew surrounding myself with smart ladies would help. “What do you mean?”

“Not in his bedroom,” Violet said. “Or yours.”

“Or not in a bed,” Daisy added. “Since there are ways to have sex in a bedroom but not in bed.”

“I really have a hard time when it’s my brother you’re talking about.” Lily shook herself. “But I’m also happy it’s you with my brother you’re talking about. What a mindfuck.”

“Totally,” Violet said. “I might need another drink.”

“We had a roommate agreement when we first married.” A blush darkened Daisy’s cheeks. “Admittedly, we broke the rules pretty quickly.”

“I’d ask what rules,” I said, “but also it’s our brother.” I thought for a moment. Rules were boundaries and that was what I had thought we needed. We still did. “The idea has promise.”

“Like after Auggie’s in bed.” Lily ticked a finger. “No beds. No cuddling after.” She continued ticking off fingers. “Um, no candlelight dinners.”

“Straight fucking.” I sucked in a deep breath.

Could I do that? He’d said he was willing.

Would he mind a roommate agreement? A fake marriage arrangement?

Since we weren’t married yet, it’d be an engagement agreement.

Semantics, but I clung to the fine line.

Because I’d be dancing on it as soon as I got home.