Page 19 of Poppy Kisses (Return to Coal Haven #3)

Chapter Nine

Jensen

Poppy’s words kept me up all night. How the hell did I come back from that? The destroyed look in her eyes gutted me. But damn, it answered so many questions. Why she would get skittish around me. Why she was guarded and kept her distance. Why she hadn’t been honest.

There was one thing she couldn’t lie about, and it was that kiss. The way she’d opened up and let me in. The way she’d responded. I wasn’t imagining the connection between us, but just because it was there didn’t mean she wanted it.

…you compared me to her, and I lost every single time.

Ouch. I was the biggest asshole alive. Was I why she put up with men like Dillon? Would she take an Elijah over a nice guy who admired her powerful body, her sharp brain, and who couldn’t quit daydreaming about her wet T-shirt?

I had been an obnoxious kid, and now I wasn’t, but she’d had to live with the impact of it. No wonder she hadn’t been thrilled to see me on the other end of the computer. While I’d been nostalgic and eager to learn who today’s Poppy was, she’d been waiting for me to demean her in some way.

Shit.

I rolled out of bed and scrubbed my hands down my face.

I had some sanding to get done before Mom dropped off Auggie.

When I went to the bathroom, Poppy’s bedroom door was closed.

I didn’t expect her to be awake with a smile, but that damn panel of wood only served as a reminder.

It remained shut when I was done cleaning up.

I made some coffee, grabbed some breakfast, and went to the shop.

After working for a few hours, I lost track of how often I peeked out the door to see if I could spy movement in the house. Even Luna quit getting up to follow me to the window.

I finished some doors I was sanding and staining for one of Mom’s friends and picked up my tools.

I had some computer work to do that I’d been putting off.

Time to see if I could pay bills this month or not.

Each year, my expenses got higher. My work should be able to speak for itself, but if I couldn’t speak for it, how did I expect others to?

I had two queries. One asking for an estimate and the other telling me they loved my work in a home I’d done eighteen months ago. They wanted to hire me. I couldn’t fuck this up.

I texted Poppy before I could ask myself if she really wanted to hear from me.

Jensen: Hey got a potential client don’t want to fuck up. Can you come to the shop

I was getting warnings about my punctuation but I let it go. I wasn’t beneath using my lack of punctuation to lure Poppy out of hiding.

Poppy: Just a minute.

Triumph and relief left me grinning at the dog. “Fuck yeah, Luna. It worked.”

She lifted her head, looked around, and went back to sleep.

I couldn’t focus on a thing until I heard her footsteps crunching across the gravel a few minutes later.

She slowly leaned in through the open door, her expression impassive.

“Wasn’t sure you’d help,” I said. I wasn’t teasing. It was time for more honesty and less competition. But I still had to be careful. She was skittish and it was my fault.

“We have a deal.” Her face was expressionless as she crossed the shop.

Her hair was pulled back and she was dressed in leggings and a snug, zipped-up top, curves on display.

I drank her in as discreetly as I could.

The only thing that prompted a smile was the dog’s thumping tail.

She was all business when her attention returned to me.

I shifted the laptop so she could see the screen. “I wrote a reply email. And I followed the prompts of that program you installed, but I have to make sure this is right. This job could be a sure thing.”

She leaned in, but I got up so she could have the chair. She didn’t sit but tapped a few keys. I steadfastly kept my gaze on the screen. I couldn’t make her uncomfortable.

“There. That should do it.” She swiveled the computer back to me.

“Hold on,” I said before she could scurry off. “I have one more to respond to.”

I pulled up the email asking for the estimate and banged out a reply. Then I kicked the chair out of the way so she could proof it.

Her mouth twisted when she concentrated, but she nodded and leaned back. “Looks good.”

Pride ran through me, and I hit “send.” The feeling diminished as soon as she turned to leave. “I’m sorry.”

She folded her arms, almost like she was hugging herself. “It’s fine. We were kids.”

“That’s no excuse.” I scratched the back of my neck. “I’ve been thinking about why I did that, and again, not an excuse, but maybe I was trying to convince myself I was more deserving if I put her above everything, including others’ feelings.”

Her features were still neutral. “I get it.”

“Maybe I thought you were a threat to how I felt. Like if I let myself admire your freckles or your legs, then I must not be genuine and it’d be a betrayal.

My dad was so into my mom. She used to joke that he had eyes only for her, and I wanted to be like Dad.

” I hadn’t thought about how much losing Dad affected me when it came to relationships until now.

When I had married Hassie, I had hoped he’d be proud of me.

He wouldn’t have been proud of how I’d made Poppy feel, and I wasn’t either.

“I understand, Jensen.” Her tone was softer but still distant.

I moved a little closer. Only a few inches. “I really am sorry. You were a spectacular fucking kid and you’re an even more amazing woman. You won’t ever catch me making a comparison like that again.”

She laughed. “Okay. Sure.”

“I like you.”

Her smile died. “Like I said last night, we shouldn’t. We’ve got to keep clear boundaries.”

“I agree.” I didn’t want to, but she was right. Our families were in on this, and we couldn’t let each other down and, in turn, them. “For once, it’s nice to know my role in a relationship.”

Curiosity filled her face and her attention was fully on me. Just how I liked it. “How do you mean?”

“Me and Hassie…it wasn’t a fair union. She had all the power, and I was eager to please.

But that life, the one she wanted, wasn’t for me.

I like horses as much as the next ranch kid, but I also wanted balance.

I wanted balance in my career, in how I lived, how I raised our kid.

” In the relationship itself. Everything was what Hassie wanted and how she wanted it, and in the end, I didn’t know if I was a part of either equation.

“When I wasn’t sure if Auggie factored into how she balanced everything, I had to leave. ”

“I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out.”

Me too. I was sorry about a lot.

“Is it hard?” she asked. “Planning another wedding?”

Maybe if I thought about it. I tried to tuck all my feelings about Hassie and how things played out in the back of my mind. I couldn’t have it affecting my son. “No. It’s different.” I ducked my head. “Not better or worse. Just different.”

It was a fuck ton better, but if I said that, she probably wouldn’t believe me. I had to earn her trust.

She nodded, but her gaze skated away.

I nudged her chin up with a couple of knuckles. When did I get this close? “I promise that I’m never going to make you feel bad again. I’m only going to show you how amazing you are.”

She rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to placate me.”

“There’ll be no placating when all I can think about in bed at night is you in that soaked shirt.”

“It wasn’t soaked,” she croaked.

“It was wet in all the right places.” I stroked my thumb over her plump bottom lip.

“And you in those leggings with the seam that goes between your butt cheeks. I want to know how my hands would look framing that ass. But what really takes up more mental space than I could’ve ever imagined is your legs.

That power. That muscle. Wondering how wild a guy would have to drive you to find out just how crushing the power is around his head.

How hard do you clamp down when you come with a man’s face between your legs?

” I had just agreed with her that we needed boundaries, but dammit, she kept thinking I couldn’t be serious about how she affected me, and I couldn’t have that.

She wasn’t trying to brush me off, she was brushing herself off.

Her lips parted, and her pupils dilated. Only a squeak left her. I continued stroking the lip I got to taste last night. She’d been sweet, like the beer we’d had. Refreshing. Addicting.

“You’re trying to get into my head,” she whispered.

“I very much am not. I meant every word.”

The sound of an engine approaching had her stiffening.

She’d run if the table wasn’t right behind her.

“I’m not the same kid you knew. I’ve grown.

I’ve matured. So have you. And I’ve found myself living under the same roof with a very attractive, very sexy woman with freckles I want to count with my tongue while I see how far down your body they go. ”

Her eyes shone, and her breath came in pants.

“Dad!” Auggie’s shout came from outside the shop.

I pulled away from her, gave her one last intense look to make sure she knew I meant every single goddamn word, and went outside to meet my son.

* * *

Poppy

Jensen: Do you have break in sessions I’m overhauling my site with a coming soon page for the Perez house

He hated using the keyboard, even with the app I installed, but it shouldn’t be missing this much punctuation. I focused on his message. At least one word was missing.

Poppy: I’m done in forty. Then I’m off the rest of the day.

I still hadn’t worked on building my own client base. Vacations were starting, and Debbie was throwing more fill-in jobs my way. It was giving me a reprieve from worrying about building my own list. No keys, no client base. That was my mantra.