Page 19

Chapter 19

Jasper

“ Y ou look better,” Sasha said, perching on the edge of Jasper’s bed. She reached over and shoved his hip when he didn’t move.

All Jasper could do was grunt and shrug. He was better. Physically, he was fine for the first time in months. If he didn’t get out of bed, that might change. But who cared? He’d had his perfect moment—more than any demon ever deserved.

“You said you met someone?” Sasha hedged at his lack of response. That vague allusion alone had Jasper’s memory flooding with Caleb’s smile and the weight of his arm, always ready to loop around his waist and pull him close. With a shaking inhale, he braced against the shattering of his heart.

He dragged his gaze up to meet Sasha’s. She was smiling hopefully down at him, her long brown fingers sweeping his hair back from his temple.

His breath hitched. “Yeah.”

“You gonna tell me about him?”

What was there to tell? Caleb was tall and strong and handsome and kind. He’d picked Jasper up off the ground and nursed him back to health. Even when he hadn’t felt the demon’s tug, he’d kissed Jasper sweetly, and when he was recovering from his fight, he’d still held Jasper against his chest while they slept.

He was so good—everything Jasper’d ever wanted—and Jasper would only ever hurt him. Take from him and give nothing back.

“Oh, hun,” she whispered as his lips started to tremble. Those two syllables were too much. He turned his face into his pillow and let it soak up his tears.

He’d been home for a day, and he hadn’t gotten out of bed. He could’ve. This wasn’t the exhaustion of starving; it was worse—he was heartbroken.

For a long time, she just combed her fingers through his hair. When she finally broke the silence, she asked, “Was he at least tall?”

Jasper didn’t know why, but a hoarse laugh escaped him and he lifted his head again. “Big as a bear.”

Sasha chuckled and wiped tears off his cheek. “Least we know you haven’t compromised your standards. So... what happened? We both know he didn’t turn you away.”

Right. Because people didn’t do that to incubi. They couldn’t. Maybe Caleb thought he loved him now, but what if one day, that changed? Caleb would want him to go, want his freedom from his leeching demon boyfriend, and he wouldn’t be able to say it. Hell, maybe he wouldn’t even be able to place what made him so unhappy.

Jasper rolled onto his side and shrugged his top shoulder. “I just didn’t want to hurt him,” he whispered.

Pursing her lips, Sasha scowled. “Sweetie,” she said after a moment, weighing her words carefully, “that’s not you.”

He didn’t miss a beat. “It’s all of us.”

It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, to hate what he was—worse that he couldn’t share why. When he’d accidentally seduced his straight best friend, it was just what incubi did. Try explaining to Malcolm that just because he could have someone didn’t make it okay.

Lying in bed crying was definitely not conducive to weighing the ethics of various demonic activity. “How’s Declan?”

The weight of her concern shifted off him, and he could breathe again. “What do you mean?”

“I.. . tried calling him while I was away. He didn’t pick up.” That wasn’t like Declan at all, really. He was reliable as anyone, almost always at home alone, only had company when he paid for it. In fact, the only reason he still lived in the same building as them was to keep an eye out for them. He’d stayed to “offer an alternative to Elrith’s bullshit.” Declan thought being the youngest of Elrith’s spawn also made them the most vulnerable—a position that regularly boiled Malcolm’s temper.

Sasha only shrugged. “I didn’t really notice when he left, you know? I was kind of worried about you.” Guiltily, she grimaced. “But I’m sure he’s just out doing his ocean thing! He’ll be back.”

Jasper chewed his lip. “Fair enough.”

Sometimes, Declan had to go out and see the sea. Jasper didn’t get it, but if his time in Poisonwood had taught him anything, it was that there were better places to live than Lyric.

Malcolm knocked on the door, and Jasper started. Before either of them answered, he stuck his head in. “Dad knows you’re home. He’s coming over.”

Jasper flinched. Elrith would want an explanation—where he’d gone, why he hadn’t dropped everything and come to dinner when he called. Elrith might have only called them together to announce his purchase of a new pair of merino wool socks, but if he’d put the effort into summoning them, he expected appeasement. This wasn’t a friendly visit; it was an inspection.

Sasha had to nudge him out of bed anyway. He didn’t think his father would rip his heart out of his chest and eat it in front of them if he continued to laze around, but what the hell did he know, really? No reason to test America’s richest demon dad.

He got dressed—not in the jeans he’d been wearing for the better part of a week. Those were in his laundry hamper, shoved deep down so he could try and forget the electric scrape of Caleb’s hands as he peeled them off him. Instead, he pulled out slacks, a button up, nice shoes. His Sunday best, if he were allowed on hallowed ground. When he looked in the mirror, he looked like a slight, golden Malcolm.

Brilliant.

While they waited for Elrith, he, Sasha, and Malcolm perched uneasily in the living room. At a sharp, precise knock on the door, Malcolm was the first to dart out of his seat, but they all stood.

“I’ve got it,” Malcolm muttered. The only time Jasper ever heard him sound unsure was when confronted by their father’s impatience.

There was always pressure to keep the apartment clean, springing from the fact that Elrith did, in fact, pay for the place and could show up any time.

“Malcolm,” Elrith snapped before stepping past him. Jasper fought the urge to fidget with his clothes. After a week in Caleb’s cozy shirts and sweatpants, a button-up and a belt were practically torture devices.

Elrith looked around at their apartment first, like he might find a speck of dust to gripe about before he moved onto all his other disappointments. But no dust bunny was half as grating to him as Jasper was.

“So you’re back,” Elrith drawled as his startlingly bright gaze locked on him. Jasper had his mother’s eyes, more gray than blue and common and, well, he liked to think they were nicer in that they weren’t so goddamn creepy.

Awkwardly, Jasper’s lips twitched into an uncomfortable smile.

Elrith looked like Jasper, but taller and broader—a fact that struck him hard as his father stepped close enough to intimidate. He smelled like expensive cologne, and his thick blond hair was styled so it swept back from his face to expose a hard, classic jawline.

Malcolm had Elrith’s eyes, his shape, and his sneer, but Jasper liked to think he was jealous of the gold hair—he should be. Even inside, it had a striking sheen.

“So I’m back.” Jasper’s shoulders jerked up. He wasn’t quite bold enough to be outright rebellious. Never had been.

Unimpressed, Elrith grabbed his chin and turned it up. “Well,” he said after a moment’s inspection, “at least you’re eating again.”

Jasper’s stomach rolled as Elrith dropped his hand.

“And on that happy note,” Elrith continued. “I thought we might have a family dinner night.”

“Brilliant idea, Father,” Malcolm gushed. “It’s been too long since we’ve had a proper hunt.”

Elrith watched for Jasper’s flinch, and he wasn’t disappointed. A slow smirk unbalanced his lips.

“Oh, I can’t,” Jasper blurted. He could—he always could—but... no. Never again. Especially not with the aching stretch of Caleb’s cock inside him so close to his thoughts. “I’m full. Honestly, so full. You couldn’t imagine how full.”

Sasha’s mouth fell open, and even then, she was grinning to hear him say it. She squeezed Jasper’s forearm.

“That’s right. Jasper’s been feasting on bear for a week. But I’ll go out with you,” she offered sweetly, rocking onto the balls of her feet.

Elrith scowled, and Malcolm looked equally unimpressed, but Sasha linked her arms with theirs. When Malcolm mentioned a new club opening, they left without him. Though not before Elrith made a foreboding comment about “next time.”

Jasper tried not to sigh at the overblown menace in the words. Everything about his father was exhausting, and he just wanted another nap.