Page 27

Chapter 27

Just wedding or sex hormones

Cooper

I was reasonably sober when I got to Seb’s place. Callie had vanished from the airport as soon as she got her luggage, and made her own way home while I was getting my brain working well enough to identify my own bag. I texted, asking her to let me know she got home okay. She didn’t respond.

By habit, I was quiet when I helped myself into Faith and Hunter’s place. I’d known them in college, and I knew they grabbed sexy times whenever they could work it around Hailey. But Faith was at a camp with Braydon and Jayna for the week again, so Hunter would be home with my goddaughter.

Hailey must have been napping, because I didn’t hear anything about Kook when I came around the corner. Hunter was on the couch with the TV on, but he was only half awake. Apparently, parenting was murder on your sleep, and Hunter was doing it solo this week. I’d promised to help out once I got back from the wedding. I’d thought Callie would help too. Welp .

Hunter blinked at me and the bag I was rolling in behind me. I’d come straight here from the airport, avoiding my place. I wasn’t in a mood to be on my own.

“Are you moving in, Coop?” He sat up. “To help with Hailey?” He sounded awfully pleased about that.

“I came straight from the airport. I could crash for a couple of days, but rookie camp is gonna start.”

He slumped back down. “Any help is appreciated. It’s like when Faith is gone, Hailey doubles her energy.”

“Beer?”

He checked the time and shrugged. I pulled a couple out of the fridge. I walked over to the couch and sat beside him, passing over a can.

“How was the wedding?”

I shrugged. “Big. Expensive. Over.”

“And your family?”

I took a swallow of the beer, the cool liquid refreshing in my throat. “The same as ever. I told them to fuck off. We’ll see how that plays out.”

“Sorry.”

Hunter didn’t know everything about my family, but he’d been to visit and he knew enough. I didn’t share with anyone about my brother and my ex, and fuck why I’d told Callie. Pierce had figured out she was my soft spot and gone after her. Exactly why I didn’t want to have a soft spot. Thinking of Callie made me swallow more beer.

As if my thoughts had conjured her in his brain, Hunts asked, “Where’s Callie?”

“Probably at her place.” When his eyebrows shot up, I broke the news. “We’re over. Whatever the fuck you want to call what we were doing, it’s done.”

His forehead furrowed. “Why? I thought you two were getting along.”

I smiled, but there was no humor in it. “She’s had enough. She can handle the club and the golf tournament. And with the wedding over, she’s done.”

Hunter sat up. “What the hell? Why?”

I couldn’t answer that.

“Wait, did she end it?”

My gut burned, but I nodded and drained the last of the beer.

“Why? What did you do?”

I hadn’t done anything, had I? “Apparently she’s getting feelings, so she’s bailing.”

Hunter was wide-awake now. “What?”

My beer was empty and I wanted another. But I was too damned wiped to get up off the couch. I didn’t want to move, ever again.

“Did you tell her you have feelings too?”

Hunter had to be more exhausted than I’d thought. How long had Faith been gone? “No.”

“Then go tell her!”

“I’m not going to lie to her, Hunts.” Not like it would work anyway.

“Oh don’t be an idiot. You have feelings.”

I sighed. I leaned my head against the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling. “Sure, I liked her. But not what you’re talking about.” I’d blocked anything like that years ago.

“Are you stupid? I’ve been with you a long time. This woman—she was different.”

She was. But that wasn’t a path I wanted to follow. “Hunts, it was going to end sometime. Might as well be now.”

“Why did it have to end?”

“What did you think would happen? We’d get married and have babies and live happily ever after?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. It’s great—for the right people.”

“You don’t think you’re the right people?”

I shook my head. “I know I’m not. It’s like…pool.”

“Huh?”

“I can whip your ass in pool. Every time. Right?”

“This isn’t?—”

I kept going, not letting him interrupt. “But beer pong. Faith is a beer pong savant. I’d never play a game with her, thinking I could win. I’d play for fun but I wouldn’t wager on it.”

“So you’re saying love is beer pong.” He was looking at me like I was nuts, but that was it.

“Hunts, what you have with Faith is great. It’s special. It totally works for the two of you. But that’s not how it is for everyone. Your parents, Faith’s parents…there are a lot of fuckups out there. I’m just focusing my energy on the games I can win.”

“Yeah?” His voice was skeptical.

“Yeah.”

“You can talk a good game all you want, but you know what I think?”

I didn’t and I didn’t want to.

“I think you’ve already bet on this, and you’re gonna regret not going for it.”

I shook my head. This was something I might regret getting into, but not getting out of.

Then he smirked. The fucker smirked at me.

“Oh, this is going to be fun to watch.”

* * *

Callie

Darcy wasn’t home when I got there, which was a relief. I needed some time before he found out he wouldn’t be seeing his new bestie, the hockey hottie. Or would he? At the driving range, Cooper had wanted to try some little hole-in-the-wall restaurant Darcy knew. Would Cooper still want to do that? If he did, would Darcy think he had to choose between the two of us?

That wasn’t fair. Darcy was a Cooper fan and that was fine. I just didn’t want to hear about him now. Not right away. Not till these feelings were under control. Which shouldn’t take too long. They didn’t take long to start, so logically they would end just as quickly.

But damn, I hadn’t slipped like this in a long, long time. There was an ache in my chest. When I started to write down my plans for the week, keeping busy, I wanted to text Cooper and ask him to forget everything I said on the plane. Check out the messages he’d sent after, and find out what he was thinking.

Yeah, I’d caught feelings. And indulging them would only encourage them. Feed them so they grew. No, the way to get rid of them was to starve them. Beat them down. Refuse to let them see the light of day.

I opened up a CRA ruling, one that would require my whole mind to comprehend. I’d just focus on that till my mind gave up, and I could go to sleep without thinking about anyone.

Darcy texted that he was going out with friends after work. I assured him I was fine.

I did finally go to bed, but my mind insisted on probing at memories of Cooper. It was a relief to finally fall asleep.

* * *

I woke up late, feeling groggy. I’d scheduled the day off work, unsure if there’d be a delay in traveling and not wanting to set up meetings I might have to cancel. I could catch up on emails here at the condo, since I didn’t have a lot else to do. I’d be ready to go once I was in the office tomorrow.

I started the coffee and opened my laptop. Work was good. I did my job, people were happy I did, and they paid me money. Work didn’t make my chest compress, as if breathing was painful. It didn’t keep me up at night and make my eyes itchy.

Damn Cooper.

No, this was on me. I was the one who started feeling things. I didn’t have the experience I needed or the brains to remember that soft touches and tender kisses didn’t mean affection. I wasn’t used to them, and they’d messed me up. Lesson learned.

While I was moping, my laptop open in front of me and not reading a damned word, Darcy stumbled out of his room. He was in boxers and a rumpled tee, hair tilted to the left in a leaning tower kind of way.

He rubbed his eyes. “What are you doing here?” His voice was puzzled.

The question hit me hard. Did Darcy think I was leaving him behind, spending too much time on Cooper? How did I let myself do that? I’d never wanted to be wrapped up in a lover and forget my friend. A friend who’d stuck.

“You have someone here? In your room? I can go back to mine.”

Darcy walked up behind me, picking up on my panic. Stupid emotions, all over the place.

He wrapped his arms around me. “No, it’s just me. But I thought you’d be with Cooper.”

I couldn’t help stiffening when he said Cooper’s name.

Darcy pulled back. “What’s up, Callie?”

I swallowed. Might as well start spreading the news. “I won’t be spending time with Cooper anymore.”

Darcy’s eyes widened. He wrapped himself around me again. “What happened? Something at the wedding? Do I need to hurt him?”

The thought of Darcy hurting Cooper was laughable. Cooper was a lot bigger, and so much fitter. I appreciated the offer, though I’d never accept it.

I appreciated it so much I broke down in tears.

Fuck.

I sobbed on him for way too long, but he just held me and let me get it out. Get those feelings out. Which was good. I needed them gone. Gone, over, and forgotten.

“I’m s-sorry,” I finally hiccupped. “I don’t know why I did that. It was stupid.”

Darcy dragged me over to the couch. “No, it’s not stupid. Sit down and tell me what happened.”

I sniffed. “Sex. And then I got feelings. Romantic feelings. We had an agreement we weren’t going to do that. So I told him we had to stop this…whatever. He had his wedding date and I’m ready for the golf tournament, so it was time to end things anyway Do you think maybe it was just wedding or sex hormones or something?”

Darcy rubbed my back. “I haven’t seen you cry since you were twelve. Sorry, Cal, but I think that’s more than wedding hormones and orgasms.”

I’d known it but hoped anyway. “I told him on the flight back.”

His hand stilled. “And what did he say?”

Despite my overall weepy miasma, I had to smile a little bit. “He said he was an asshole and I’d get over it.”

Darcy leaned against me. “He didn’t want to stop being with you.”

I closed my eyes. I had enough problems with my own hopes, let alone dealing with Darcy’s. “He’s not an asshole. But Darcy, I don’t want this. Feelings . And not with Cooper.”

“Do you want it with anyone?”

I was twitchy, talking about this. “I don’t know. I like things simple. Easy.”

“Controlled,” Darcy responded.

I nodded. Years of chaos growing up, and yeah, I wanted calm. Order. Control. I’d worked hard to get to where I was. And Cooper—well, damn it, I’d cried. I couldn’t risk more.

“What if he has feelings too? You two just…worked, I thought.”

“Come on, Darce. I’m not the woman who organizes charity events and watches hockey games and whatever else his girlfriend would need to do. I have a job, a really demanding job, and it’s important to me. I’m not good at peopling. I’d bore people talking about tax. I can’t even pick out the right clothes.” Cooper could do his Cooper thing. Be charming and smile and no one but Faith and Seb would know what he was like under all that. Which was what Cooper wanted as well.

But we’d been a little too honest with each other. Exposed things we didn’t want exposed. He’d got past the protection I put up to make sure my life would be under control, and I needed to get that set up again. I’d had a good life before Cooper decided he hated my dress and took me on as a project. I’d learned from him, and I’d use the knowledge he gave me. About golf and country clubs and how to put on a better outer layer to impress people.

I’d learned other, less welcome lessons. That part of me still wanted to be loved. I had Darcy, and if he found someone to love him—and god, I hoped he did—I would be what Cooper was with Faith and Seb. It was a good life, and a safe one.

I gathered myself together. Time to start that life. “Wanna go out for breakfast? My treat.”

Darcy grabbed my chin so I had to face him.

“What? Are my eyes all red?” My nose probably was too.

“Just want you to know that this is his loss.”

I snorted.

“No, really. You are an awesome person, and when you let someone in, you do anything for them. I’m privileged to be one of those people.”

Now my eyes were watering up again. “Darcy, don’t you dare get me crying again. Let’s get some food and you can tell me what’s up with you.”

He pulled me in for another hug and I gripped him tightly.

Whatever my life was like, I couldn’t imagine it without Darcy. And I would do anything for him.