Page 25

A t eight I waved goodbye to the group then entered the vehicle. Before I went to sleep, I barely managed to rest because my mind kept replaying the events that happened.

I kept thinking about everything, the call and the hug, then the walk followed by the kiss and finally the tears. I repeatedly visualized the situation as if I was experiencing it multiple times over.

The experience becomes no longer bearable as time passes. The painful memory of him crying makes my emotions peak and my chest constrict. I make every effort to understand and desperately seek answers for everything that has happened.

Did something happen?

What's going on?

Who does he not want around?

That question stuck with me the hardest. He made it clear to Lily that his presence was unwanted. But who is he?

Based on eighteen years of witnessing his behavior as my neighbor I assume their relationship is unstable because I've never seen him act that way before.

We never discussed it and I don't foresee us doing so. He would not have to reveal all of the information if I asked him.

I shut the door before resting my head against the windowpane. I don't buckle up and I don't look at him. I am able to see his legs but I deliberately avoid looking at him. I feel fear about doing it but I will re-experience my overnight actions.

I closed my eyes and turned my music player on to moderate volume to help me fall asleep. While I relaxed, three hours went by without my notice.

I could hear him moving beside me. For thirty minutes now he hasn't been able to maintain stillness. I finally glanced at him. Thankfully his eyes were closed but he seemed restless while searching for a comfortable position.

His body was enclosed within his blanket just as I was wrapped up. I moved my blanket closer but remained silent.

His continuous movement caused me to reach my limit when Elijah stopped for gas.

As El stepped out of the car I saw Kylie completely asleep. I pulled on his blanket while gesturing him to settle down on my lap.

Observing him battle with sleep was unbearable to me though we hadn't exchanged words or looks since last night I found myself unable to resist.

His gaze fixed on me while my heart pounded loudly in my chest. I questioned my decision to get his attention but felt relieved when he accepted my offer.

A sense of calm washed over me when his head settled against my lap. I let my fingers move through his hair right away when he began to settle. I felt the same way about what I was doing as I did last time. Especially after the night we both had.

I appreciated Elijah returning to the car without saying anything while he resumed driving.

"Do you want food?" "Would you like something to eat?" he whispered to me while his eyes scanned the mirror.

"Yeah," I answer.

Elijah tells Kylie about getting food after she comes out of sleep. Locating a restaurant exit takes time but we eventually find one.

He parks the car in the lot and both exit the vehicle. I remain in the car as Jaxon rests calmly on my lap.

My gaze falls briefly upon him. His hair resembles a tangle as strands curl across his forehead. Jaxon's eyes remain closed while his jaw stays soft. But it somehow makes me feel bad. A few hours earlier I would have expressed completely different thoughts about him.

My hair looked disheveled while my eyes appeared glassy, and my jaw shook uncontrollably. My heart felt like it was being torn apart when I thought about it again. I took a trembling breath to regain my composure.

We're not tearing up. We're not crying. Could you stop it?

As I regained composure, I noticed Jaxon pressed his head against my stomach and his body tensed up. My hand moving across his back caused his eyes to clench tightly.

I softly call out his name "Jaxon" to wake him. "Jaxon." I move my hand from his hair to form a gentle cup around his face.

After a brief instant he relaxed and blinked his eyes to let me know he was awake.

When Jaxon blinked his eyes open a tear dripped from his eyelid and my heart couldn't handle it. I remove the tear from my finger after it drops onto it. My eyes start stinging while I lose my composure once more.

He tries to sit up as I take in another deep breath noticing my tears starting to gather in my eyes.

"Stop it," he says softly as he rubs his thumb across my eye, and I try to control my tears. Despite my efforts to control my tears they continue to fall.

"Jaxon-"

"I don't want you crying, Em." He speaks in a gentle yet concerned manner, yet I struggle and fail to present my argument.

"But-"

"No. You need to stop crying about me. I don't need your tears." Despite recognizing his good intentions when he shuts me down again, I remain convinced that his words carried more aggression than he intended.

I inhale deeply to slow down my rapid heartbeat.

As soon as I started saying "What is going-" his eyes met mine and I immediately understood his refusal to discuss it.

He didn't want to talk about it.

I shut my mouth and rotated my head towards the window. The room remains stuck in an uncomfortable silence that feels both awkward and tense.

He moved to the seat's opposite side and pressed his head against the window.

I experienced nervousness yet felt grateful to see Kylie and Elijah return with our meal. The door opened for us to receive our belongings before they entered and exited the parking lot.

I reached for my food with hesitation as we both tried to grab it simultaneously. He withdrew his hand and let me choose what I wanted.

I remained silent throughout the rest of the ride. I made a strong effort to push from my mind the events that occurred within the brief time they were absent.

The humidity overwhelmed me as soon as I exited the car. Our arrival at the hotel placed us in the middle of Florida.

The check-in process went smoothly but we faced difficulties handling the room situation.

The hotel assigned us two rooms with one bed per room. I expected we would keep our same bed partners from the way down here.

Following Kylie's understated but direct discussion about why she must stay with my brother for common reasons I understood, I unlock the door while Jaxon follows me inside.

I stare at the bed and try to figure out how we will handle the situation. We kept silent from the time we stopped for food until now.

As he turns on the shower, he helps me find a moment of peace. While he cleans up in the shower, I'll ignore him for a few minutes and then I'll go after him when he finishes.

Once he leaves the bathroom he is already lying on his side, and I choose to lie down on the opposite side. Lying with our backs facing each other solved the problem.

After several minutes of phone browsing, I position it to charge. I switch off the lamp and shut my eyes.

He turned off his light, but I noticed a persistent glow from his side of the bed.

I want to sleep this way but it's impossible for me. I take deep breaths before turning around to find out why he's still awake using his phone.

My chest becomes heavy without any apparent cause. He reviews his Snapchat and views every snap he received throughout the day. To watch him open every snap he received had to be the ultimate dream for any guy.

Snapchat messages from girls revealed full-face pictures and varied looks including dresses, party outfits and half-exposed cleavage.

He remained completely unaffected by everything happening around him. It was clear to me that he showed no interest in the significant effort these girls put into capturing appealing photos.

After building up enough nerve to touch him he looked my way when I tapped his shoulder.

"Do you mind...I kinda want to sleep." I tell him. "Or at least, turn your brightness down." I offer hesitantly.

As he remained silent, I was nearly ready to turn away to rest but he suddenly pulled me closer. My eyes fix on him while I lift myself onto my forearm.

"I'm sorry." he starts. I apologize for blowing up at you during our car ride. I don't..." he trails off.

"I get it. I understand that you don't want to discuss it right now and that's completely okay. I finished his sentence for him.

Or so. I was about to tell you I didn't want to see you cry before deciding on this work too. When he shares a little joke, I find myself laughing.

"Well, thanks for your consideration, Rowan. It's appreciated." When his phone screen illuminate I noticed his eyebrow was out of place. As his gaze meets mine, I redirect the hair by brushing it correctly. "Sorry, sorry.

They were going the wrong way." I defend my actions.

The moment I saw him took a picture I looked at his phone and my hand brushed his eyebrow while covering his face. I could not determine what to think when it remained there, but a ridiculous thought popped into my head.

I paused for a moment before choosing not to proceed with my plan. We were finally starting to find normalcy again and I didn't want to reverse our progress by causing problems.

"Em?" He calls my name.

"Hmm?" I hum, coming back to my senses.

"You're staring at my phone." he laughs.

"Oh-uh, sorry."

"No. What were you thinking about?' he asks me like some psychic.

I struggle to give him a response. I find it hard to bring up the idea at this moment. "It was nothing-"

As soon as he says my name he says "Emerson," my mouth closes tight. What random thought did your brain up there create?

I stare at his screen as my lips open briefly and quickly close again. "Can I?" I extended my Hazeld to take his phone and ask him.

He nods and gives it to me. My eyes fixate on the image before me as I consider whether to proceed. Sighing, I decide, fuck it.

I clicked the arrow to select all necessary recipients then removed people who should not receive this photo. That meant JAMIE,

Camden, and Elijah. After excluding JAMIE, Camden, and Elijah from the photo I sent it and then gave him his phone back.

He displays his annoying little smirk while he turns his device off and connects it to the charger. "You are an interesting girl, Em."

I threw my hands up and said, "You know who can handle your nonsense? Me."

"I don't even do anything." He blurts out a blatant lie.

"Jaxon. As soon as I began speaking about-"I couldn't complete my sentence because a loud unexpected roar of thunder interrupted me. The sudden loud noise shocked me so badly I jumped in fright. "Jesus Christ." With a hand placed on my chest I take a breath.

"Aww, what are you? Scared of some thunder?" he mocks my frightened manner.

"No." I completely deny it. "It just came out of nowhere." I plead my case.

"Sure..." he trails off. "Not a scaredy cat."

"No fear at all," I assure him as the sky erupts with another thunderous boom followed by my involuntary flinch.

Oh, for fucks sake.

"Not scared." he jokes before laying down.

I huff and do the same. Thunder strikes me with an odd little fear. Rain brings me joy because lightning poses no fear for me, but thunder always makes me jump without fail.

I don't get it.

I attempt to relax by clearing my throat but end up tensing up as, yet another thunderous roar penetrates my ears.

"Don't tell anyone about this." His words reach my ears from beside me and I respond by scrunching my face into confusion.

"Tell them what? When his hand slides around my waist and pulls me into his body I get my answer right after asking my question.

The gesture suddenly helped me find calm. "Going soft on me, Rowan?" I question his decision to do this.

"Nope. I'm here to help you face your nonsensical fear of thunder. he contests.

"Yeah, definitely going soft on me." When he hugged me tighter, I emitted a small laugh. I place my hand on his arm while my nails trace the path from his elbow to his wrist.

It was nice lying in his embrace. His delightful warmth made me realize I would wake up soon.

He utters one final thought before sinking into deep sleep which causes me to slap his shoulder as laughter erupts from me.

Do you believe that the people in the neighboring room to where Kylie and El are located can hear what they're saying?