Page 16
"W ell, you're right. This situation focuses on the seven minutes in hell part. I repeat his words.
"Seriously, Felix?" I hear Jaxon drunkenly complain. I'd choose death before spending seven minutes with her.
"Oh, whatever," I pushed his shoulder. "Don't be such a baby." I mock him.
I found myself surprisingly at peace with this situation. If I were sober right now sober me would definitely not approve of this.
So, I'm not really sober right now, am I?
Kylie declared from across the couch "Here I'll balance the dare." "Double or nothing."
This piqued my interest. "So, you're saying fourteen minutes then?" I ask to clarify.
"Exactly." She smiled as El pulled her closer. You'll receive ten dollars from me after you complete that task. From her pocket she retrieved a crisp ten-dollar bill.
"Deal." I quickly accepted and stood up. I take the bill from her hands as I walk towards her. "thank you for paying for my suffering."
"Gladly." she laughed.
As I returned to Jaxon, I noticed him groan when he saw me. "Let's go, Rowan." I sang sarcastically.
Why did my voice carry such enthusiasm throughout this entire thing?
He finished his drink and stood up from the couch. We stopped leaving because Kylie called us back.
"Hold on. Phones," she said, holding out her hands.
Shit.
"You're annoying." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm smart." Her eyebrow went up as she took my phone from me.
Jaxon surrendered his phone without enthusiasm while another man took us to the room. He promised to knock on the door when our time was over. Before the door closed behind him, I had heard nothing else.
When I locked inside the room, I noticed it was extremely small, resembling a closet size. The room was so cramped it could just fit both of us.
My back pressed against the wall as I sat down while my legs stretched out before me. Jaxon positioned himself beside my feet and placed his legs across my lap.
"Really?" I shoved his legs off my lap.
You locked me in this room and now you must deal with me. He lifts his feet once more and places them onto my lap.
I already regret doing this.
To make things worse. Dealing with him was not something I wanted to do now. The dare seemed exciting initially, but disappointment set in the moment the door snapped shut.
After pushing his legs away from me again I take my turn by placing my legs on his lap.
I want you to wake me when you hear him banging on the door. I start getting comfortable.
I expected his reaction so when he kicked my legs from him, I remained unsurprised. My knee struck the door hard enough to cause a small reaction of pain which I kept hidden.
Ow.
The closet's limited space created a very hot environment. I checked for light in here when we opened the door but found none. Although the music played outside was loud, the walls softened the sound.
Even though there was loud noise behind the door I noticed a snapping sound. It was my hair tie.
I noticed Jaxon playing with my hair tie on his wrist while he sat up against the wall.
I stared at him and demanded "Give it back."
His brief chuckle revealed his deliberate actions to me. "No."
Immediately, I could feel myself getting agitated. He can reach me through this method quickly, which might be his objective.
Forget that—it's exactly what he wants. At that moment I managed to maintain some self-control and ended up doing something I hadn't done in several years.
I stay quiet.
I straighten my posture without uttering a single word. Frustration and habit cause my eyes to narrow toward him. He appeared puzzled by my actions yet chose to handle the situation.
He does the same as I do. He sits up and watches me. I'm convinced he's trying to determine what I'm doing because his stare is intense.
The longer we remained seated like this, his wrist band snapped more often, and my self-control declined. Without knowing how much time we had left I had to maintain this effort for as long as possible.
My endurance proved superior to his when we both continued our efforts. He huffed as he pushed himself up the wall while maintaining his gaze on me.
His eyes showed clear signs of irritation which made me smile. "Oh, what's got you annoyed now?" The question left my lips as though I was unaware of what he would answer.
He states with crossed arms that I am boring him.
My voice sounds flat as I state, "I need my hair tied back."
"Why don't you come and get it?" he asks, pulling the band again.
"Give it back," I repeat myself. "I'm not asking." If you don't want to ask politely then you can grab it yourself. He taunts the hair tie again.
"Dumbass." I hear him mumble to himself. Okay, that's it. The last bit of self-control within me disappeared. I used every atom of my being to stay seated, but my patience finally gave in.
Using the wall for support I moved towards him. "God, you're annoying."
"And you've told me how many times?" he presses me. Your annoying behavior keeps increasing every time I say this. I roll my eyes. "I want it back."
"Want what?" he asks dumbly.
"My hair tie, you fuck."
"Why?" he asked me again.
"Because it's my favourite one!" I raise my voice.
My frustration about this stupid hair tie reached its peak because all I wanted was to take it back. I confronted him directly as I stretched out to grasp his wrist.
Because he couldn't move anywhere, I took hold of his hand and pulled it toward me until I managed to slide a finger underneath the band.
I nearly won the battle, but he managed to reverse our positions. Demonstrating his real power, he moved his arm back and managed to place the hair tie onto his wrist once again.
I couldn't help but frown at how effortlessly he escaped my grasp. I almost got it back.
"Oh, c'mon now, Em. "Expect no easy path from me," he taunted me.
Oh my god, I'm gonna lose it.
And I did.
Jaxon you fucking piece of shit God you are! I screamed without concern because the music blasting outside prevented anyone from hearing me. "I just—fuck. Fuck you!"
With my drunken frustration nearly choking me he grabbed my chin with his thumb and pointer finger and tilted my face toward him.
If you plan to scream at me while calling me names, then you should look at me when you say it. His speech flowed smoothly but failed to reach my mind.
My anger towards him was too strong for me to pay attention to what he said. "Ugh! I fucking hate you!" I let out a groan while pulling my face back and stepping away.
There was a moment of silence. "What'd you just say?" His voice became deeper as he spoke with a tone that revealed his disbelief.
"I hate you," I repeated with intense emotion.
"No, you don't." He was quick to deny it.
"And who’s that?" I argue.
You have no fucking idea what hate really feels like. His eyes narrow while his expression becomes serious.
My whole body experiences an intense wave of heat. I might have been sweating briefly because of the room's limited space and the lack of oxygen. Don't pretend you can understand my feelings.
I told my arms across my chest while gripping my shirt so tightly that my fingers must stop blood circulation.
"Fine," he says. "Then repeat it. Look at me this time as you repeat yourself. He moves toward me with intention and decreases the small distance between us.
I quickly step back and feel my back lightly hit the wall. I blink when he tilts his head toward me and my chest tighten with my arms remaining tense at my sides.
What's happening?
"What?" The exhale from my lungs sounds like a desperate gasp when it escapes.
He whispers, "You heard what I said" and I drop my gaze to see we're face to face. "Tell me you hate me." His harsh way of speaking turns his words into a demand.
The words cause a shock to travel down my spine while my mouth refuses to open. It's going so dry I can't speak. I attempt to conceal how this impacts me but discover breath control demands more effort than expected.
I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.
I keep saying it over and over, but the words never leave my mouth. No words come out.
He urges me with "Come on Em," and I manage to turn back to meet his gaze. "Say it."
I realized in that moment I could not speak those words. Silence filled the space between us because I had no words to say.
And that was the truth. I don't think I've ever told him I hate him and if I did tell him, it wouldn't have stayed in my memory. I had never spoken those words to him previously, but I frequently thought them to myself.
Our noses were separated by inches and would have touched if we moved. My brain scrambled to find words or actions to take.
Push him.
Kick him.
Slap him.
Insult him.
Kiss him.
Wait–what?
I didn't think twice—or perhaps my drunken mind did—before I rose onto my toes to kiss him. I kissed him.
I understood my foolish act only when he pulled away. As soon as my lips connected with his they were nowhere to be found. While I stood there gazing at him, I noticed how confused he looked.
The consequences of my recent action became clear to me almost immediately. My face would surely show my embarrassment through a reddening if the darkness didn't hide it.
The warmth in my cheeks began to rise while my body temperature followed suit. The room felt so hot that I stood there completely mortified.
My words come out like vomiting because he hasn't said anything yet. "Oh my god—I uh–fuck—I'm sorry. Oh my god." My mouth covered with my hand as I became horrified by what I had done.
It felt like I couldn't breathe. I was too embarrassed to function. I can't understand why I made that decision.
Jaxon took my hand away from my mouth before my embarrassment could fully hit me and did something completely unexpected.
He kissed me.
Jaxon fucking Rowan kissed me and we had never been friends since elementary school. The most terrible aspect of this situation was my complete lack of motion.
I knew I should push him away, but I didn't move. For the second time my actions defied possibility. I leaned into him.
Despite knowing it's wrong my head told me this might have been the best choice I ever made.
Because, oh my fucking god.
I couldn't explain what I was feeling. Every feeling I experienced prior had vanished completely. My thoughts, my emotions, everything. Gone.
His hand now pressed against the wall next to my head. He pressed his body against mine which led me to start kissing him slowly.
My hand descended and came to rest on his forearm while my mouth moved alongside his. The discomfort in my stomach transformed into an intense twinge that felt like it might burst.
And that's precisely what happened. His tongue unexpectedly invaded my mouth causing the bubble that had formed in my stomach to disintegrate into countless fragments.
A tingling sensation traveled through every vein and reached every muscle and fiber in my body. A strange feeling traveled down to my legs which made me brace myself against the wall to stop my knees from becoming unstable.
This sensation was new to me but without hesitation I knew I wanted to experience more of it. Since I often achieved what I wanted I knew exactly what to do.
I was going to get more. More of that sensation. More out of this kiss. More of him.
I lifted my free hand up his arm until it reached his shoulder. He maintained control of my other arm when I pushed against his hold yet eventually released my wrist after a brief struggle.
I rapidly reached for his nape and drew him closer by pulling him down. Every passing second only strengthened the mild hunger he appeared to sustain.
The alcohol flavor on his lips made our kiss even more pleasurable and replaced my previous thoughts with conflicting ideas.
My heart was telling me, Alert! Alert! It seems like this experience fulfills every desire I've ever had.
But my brain was screaming, Warning! Warning! You're kissing an absolute douchebag!
Yeah. An insufferable jerk is kissing me exactly how I've always wanted to be kissed. He forces me to believe we're the only two people in the room. I'm starting to think that the people outside are irrelevant because this douchebag keeps me focused on him. He wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me tight which closed off any microscopic gap between us. He tilted his head to match the position of mine which angled back.
My toes pushed against the ground to reach his height yet his grip on my hips ensured he remained taller than me.
I couldn't get enough oxygen into my lungs, but I broke the kiss at the last possible moment. Each breath we both took felt heavy and labored as we struggled to breathe.
A compelling force made me return for additional closeness. Although my chest felt strained, I didn't stop when I tugged his shirt and covered his mouth with mine.
He made me stop when he gently held my face with both hands. Heat surged down my cheeks and reached the top of my shoulders just before I needed to inhale again.
The door banged loudly in an unforgiving manner which startled me while he tightened his grasp on me.
"Time's up!" The man who I thought brought us here yelled out. "Let's go!" I had planned to stand up and leave before they opened the door, yet Jaxon refused to loosen his hold.
He leaned down and kissed me again. It was a goodbye of some sort. I returned his kiss before he drew back his arms and released me.
He sighed as he opened the door and pushed his hair away before exiting. I followed him at a rapid pace while keeping my head low as I moved toward the kitchen.
The party atmosphere brought me back to reality as soon as I entered it.
Reality trapped me as if I had been caught in an eighteen-wheeler truck.
What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.
What did I do?
The nauseating feeling was returning but that wasn't what worried me. Some terrifying sensation indicated that something else was occurring within me which I disliked.
To remove those feelings, I needed to erase all my memories. I was about to do exactly that. My drinking habits are so extreme that I'll forget all of this by morning.
The next morning will resemble a usual day but I will suffer from a severe headache and an intense hangover.
I grabbed a drink and opened it. After finishing one beer I quickly moved to drink another one. I noticed Kylie coming towards me as I opened it. Oh shit.
The moment she saw me her smile faded from her laugh. "Oh my god, Em, are you okay? You look sick!" she stressed.
"I'm–I'm fine, Kylie." I stumbled on my words. She ignored what I said and placed the back of her hand on my forehead. "You're burning up, Em."
The closet felt hot. I managed to hiccup while drinking more of my beverage.
"And you look pale." She gave me an eye before continuing. She took hold of my drink as she instructed me to put it down.
Kylie I am serious and moved your drink away from you. "I'm fine."
I attempted to drink another mouthful but she intercepted and took the bottle before I could. "No. No more drinking. I'm taking you home." she said.
"Kylie, that's not necessary," I begged her.
"I don't want to hear it." She silenced me with her authority and pulled me along beside her.
Fuck. I can't leave.
I must forget about this first.
"Kylie–please, I'm okay!" I attempt to convince her to change her mind, but she refuses to move from her decision.
She has decided and I have no control over her telling my brother that she'll drive me home.
His glance toward me confirms her permission to take me home. Without warning she pulled me along the sidewalk to head towards her automobile.
Once she opened the car doors, I gave up resistance and entered the vehicle. The whole way home, I was silent.
I remained silent during the ride because I was overwhelmed with thoughts about my situation.
What have I done?