Page 12

Chapter 12

Don’t ask, don’t judge

Jayna

We had seats at center ice, about a third of the way up. Close enough to feel the action, far enough to be able to see all the ice. I’d picked up our Bonfire swag on the way, and Braydon cheerfully put on my jersey. Seeing that made something in my chest warm.

A couple of people recognized him, and I was known to most of the regular fans of the Bonfire. We signed hats and jerseys and posed for photos until it was game time.

I was distracted from the game by checking Braydon’s reactions. Would he find this boring without the body checks men’s hockey had? Maybe he would think this wasn’t good enough. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for that attitude! But anytime I looked he was focused intently on the play. Our opponents were from Montreal, and that was always a tense game. We had the better goalie, but they had a rock-solid defense. This match showed how much my teammates could use my playmaking skills. They needed those goals.

I also had to do my job. I shot photos, managed socials, and smiled for the fans who found us between periods.

It was a tight game, Toronto winning 1-0, and that was all on Faith. Montreal had outshot us by fifteen goals. Coach was going to have a fit.

Braydon slumped back in his seat after the last of the fans had trickled away. “She’s really good, Faith.”

“She is.”

“She got peppered there. I’m not sure I’d have stopped a lot of the shots she did. That center on the Montreal first line—she’s fast.”

I was faster. Or I had been.

“I wish… I really wish I’d known more before I ran my mouth that night.”

If he had, we wouldn’t be in this fix. But I was going to take his “punishment” and make something of it. “I’ve given you some slack, because you weren’t upset that she was a female player, but because you share DNA. Especially since I know now you had to fight harder than most of your teammates to get to where you are.”

“But I have opportunities you and Faith don’t.”

“You recognize it. That’s a start. And now you have a platform to help us, and I’m going to use that.”

“By having me play with your team?”

A happy jolt vibrated in my chest. My team. I couldn’t lose them. “That’s part of it. You’re going to attend any possible game, and we’ll announce when you’re going to be here. We’re going to use you to bring more spectators to our games.”

His eyes widened. “You think anyone will come just because I do?”

“I’ll make sure of it.”

He chewed on his lip. “Would it help if I invited some of the guys? I mean, the Inferno guys. You probably already asked the Blaze guys to come.”

I hadn’t, and that was something to rectify. “That’s a good idea—I should try to get the Blaze out. But we don’t have a lot of time left this season. The playoffs start next week, and the finals are wrapped up before the end of this month.”

He blinked at me. “That quick?”

I shrugged. “Women’s hockey is a different animal.”

* * *

Braydon

Coach wasn’t happy about me missing a morning skate, but Jayna hadn’t been kidding about making things happen. I was practicing with the Bonfire instead of the Blaze for a day. As a result, way too early on a Monday morning I drove to the Bonfire arena with my gear.

Jayna lived close to the arena and caught a lift with Megan, so I arrived on my own. I parked my truck in the arena lot and met her at the back door. She was dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved Bonfire T-shirt, and her smile when she saw me warmed something in my chest.

“You made good time.”

I’d been determined not to be late. To prove to her that I wasn’t that guy on the video. “Need any help with your gear?”

“I’m good. On the Inferno we always have to carry our stuff.” My equipment bag had wheels, so it wasn’t too bad to drag around. Unless there was slush everywhere, but that was supposed to build character, right? I followed her inside, and we took a different turn to get to the visitors’ dressing room.

“It’s down that way to get to the ice. You’ll hear practice.”

She left me in the empty room. Prepping all alone was strange. Before games I zoned the noise out, going through my ritual to get everything just so and have my head in the right space. I wouldn’t have to today. There was no one to joke around with, no one bragging about what they had done the night before, whether a girl, a game, or how much they’d eaten. For the first time, I wondered where my half-sister had gotten ready the night we played together. A bathroom? A closet? Was she also someone who had to focus before a game, or had she missed having her teammates around?

I dressed in my gear as per my routine, tapped the mat, and headed out. When I got to the ice, wearing the Blaze practice jersey Jayna had requested, most of the team was already warming up. Faith was on her own at the far end, stretching. I wasn’t Faith’s favorite person, but goalies practiced together, so after a couple of quick laps to warm up I stopped at her end of the rink. “Mind if I join you?”

“Knock yourself out.” She was down in the frog stretch.

I dropped to the ice, stretching out my hamstrings and quads.

She turned her head, watching me. “So, you’re doing this.”

“Yep.”

“Jayna’s got a camera crew coming.”

I stilled, looking at her. “Shit. Really?”

She nodded, hiding a smile before dropping down, back arching over her calves like a bridge.

“I hope I don’t look like an idiot.”

Faith didn’t respond, and I switched to back slides, starting big then moving smaller. I focused on my body, making sure I was loose, since cold, tight muscles led to injury.

Faith broke the silence. “Were you really that pissed about Jayna skipping out on you that you had to go off like that?”

I sat up. Faith was bent over in a wishbone, torso almost touching the ice surface. I didn’t want to lie to my sister, but I couldn’t tell her the truth. “I’m not proud of what I said and did that night, but I’d have been pissed even if I’d played the whole game. That was connected to my own personal shit, not you. I didn’t understand how big that night was for women’s hockey, but I’m trying now.”

Faith sat up. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. But Mitchell—you hurt Jayna and I’ll use all the benefits I’ve had in my upbringing to hurt you. Personally and professionally. She’s had too much shit in her life already, and we”—she circled her arm around the ice—“stick up for our own.”

I met her gaze, the blue eyes so like mine. “I’d expect no less.”

* * *

The women’s practice didn’t differ significantly from what I was used to. The “fun” part, where Jayna showed up with the cameras, was when the skaters practiced shooting at the net, with the goalies working to stop the shots.

Faith’s backup—called Snickers, I think?—was relegated to the sidelines while Faith and I settled in front of our nets and got ready.

Once in front of my goal, for maybe thirty seconds I considered not doing the thing with the net. I got enough chirping from teammates, and I didn’t want to be any more vulnerable in front of these women and my sister. I scuffed the ice in the crease, moved side to side, and told myself I could just get in position. It was a practice; it wasn’t my team… But I couldn’t do it. I turned and smoothed my blocker around the metal bars of the net. Left side, top crossbar, and down the right. Scraped my stick over the goal line, forming a barrier. Don’t ask, don’t judge.

When I turned forward again, none of the skaters seemed to have noticed, gathered around their coach for instructions on their shooting drills. Faith was busy at the other end, but I noticed a smirk on Jayna’s face. I’d missed the cameras the other night, but Jayna caught me this time. Her cameras probably did too. It was going to happen if I kept playing for the Blaze, so I might as well get used to it.

I took practice seriously. After seeing the women play, I had plenty of respect for them. I’d watched their moves during the game, and I’d done some research. At first, since they didn’t know how I played and I’d watched tape of them, I stopped most of the shots. But as they learned me, and tried some new maneuvers, the shots were more challenging and my save percentage went down.

I had to be a goldfish though. Forget what had happened and prepare for the next shot. I focused, concentrating only on the puck in front of me, and was a little shocked when the whistle blew to end our time on the ice. I checked the clock. It hadn’t been a long practice. But these women had to get to their regular jobs so they couldn’t stay longer.

I straightened up, stretching out my back and leg muscles. Jayna beckoned me to come over to the camera. Her coach came as well.

Jayna adjusted where I stood and made me take off my helmet, so my face and hair were sweaty and visible. Coach stood beside me, and Jayna signaled that we were being recorded.

“So, Coach, how was your visiting goalie?”

Coach nodded. “He did well.” She turned to me. “You researched ahead of time.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I was at the last Bonfire game, and I watched some video. Number 18 and 27—they’re your best scorers, and I knew they’d be difficult to stop.”

Another brusque nod from the woman. “I could tell. Had the players try some different plays and moves, and we had more success then.”

“How would you evaluate Mitch?”

“He’s got good instincts. Doesn’t dwell on his mistakes, which is good. Was a bit out of position a few times, wants to drop early. But if he’s coachable, he’ll have a good career.”

“How would you compare him to your starting goalie, Faith Devereaux?”

I jerked and glared at Jayna, but she and the camera were focused on Coach.

“They play very much alike. Faith has more experience, while Mitchell covers more of the net since his body is larger.” She paused and a glimmer of a smile crossed her face. “Dev used to drop early too, but she worked on it.”

At least my half-sister wasn’t standing here beside me as Coach pointed out all the ways we were similar. I’d never hidden that Dad adopted me but it had never come up either. What would I do if someone asked me about my biological father? I couldn’t say I didn’t know, not now.

Jayna and the camera turned toward me. “Braydon Mitchell, what did you think of your practice here today?”

She’d refused to prep me. I shoved my hair off my face to give me time to choose my words. “It’s been a lot like the two Blaze practices I’ve been at so far.” Jayna cocked her head and circled her hand, so I continued. “They’ve been something new, so I’ve had to keep my attention on what was going on more than the Inferno practices, which I know pretty well. The actual routines of all three are a lot alike. We’re learning the same game, so the drills are similar.”

She didn’t want details on goalie exercises, did she?

“What did you find was the biggest difference?”

I considered. “The arena. The Blaze have a new space, and it’s nice. Really nice. This one is a little…” Was I messing up? Jayna didn’t look upset, so I continued. “Worn. It’s smaller, by a lot, and it’s older.”

Jayna turned to her coach. “Any comments?”

Coach lifted a shoulder. “I’d love it if we had funds for a facility like the men’s teams get to use. We use what we have. Nice to know that on ice we don’t differ that much.”

“You don’t,” I reassured her.

Jayna asked, “You didn’t find the women too easy to play against?”

If this was a trap, I wouldn’t fall for it. “They scored on me so I can’t say that. If I was playing against them, I’d watch a lot of video and bring my A game, for sure. The first line players are obviously good at scoring, but your second line center sees the ice really well. She’s one to watch.”

Coach nodded slowly. “She’s new this year and has really come on in the last month.”

“So, Coach, your starting goalie played a period for the Blaze as an emergency goalie. If Mitch here qualified, and you were down a goalie or two, would you play him?”

Coach narrowed her eyes.

Shit, this would be epically bad if the woman didn’t think I could play on her team, even just as an emergency backup.

Coach nodded. “It wouldn’t fly, but he can play.”

That was a relief.

“Thanks, Coach, for letting us bring Mitch in. Good luck in the playoffs.”

Coach turned to leave.

“Thanks, Coach,” I called after her.

She spun around and cocked her head at me. “I didn’t want to, not after that stunt you pulled after Faith’s game. But I support Jayna, and I hope she’s right about you.”