Page 1

Chapter 1

Not your fault

Braydon

Sweat trickled down my back, and my hands were shaking. I was close to hyperventilating as I sat in one of the goalie stalls, fully dressed for the upcoming game and nervous as hell. Around me was the pervasive smell of body odor, foot sweat, and stress, if that was really a smell. It seemed to be. I looked from the quiet players to the Toronto Blaze logo on the floor in front of me and hoped no one could hear how my heart was pounding. My right knee was bouncing and I fought to keep it still. If I was starting, I couldn’t let my nerves show to the rest of the team.

“Not your fault, Royster.” Cooper, captain of the team, was standing not far from me, recognizable by the C on his jersey. There were some grunts of agreement, and then the room returned to tense silence.

The Inferno, the Blaze’s farm team, were always noisy. I usually wore headphones to keep to my strict routine before games. Every piece of gear had to be put on in the proper order. Only blue sports drink. Eyes closed to get into the right headspace.

And I needed that now. I’d been packing for the Inferno game in Belleville this afternoon when I’d got the call from the Blaze. Their backup goalie, De Vries, had been rushed to surgery, so they needed me. I wasn’t supposed to play, just be on the bench in case of emergency. Then in warm-ups, someone, probably Royster, had slid into starting goalie Petrov and he’d had a hard time getting back up. They’d taken him to the trainer’s room. This was the emergency no one expected.

I took a long breath. Coach would tell us what was going on before the game that started in…ten minutes? But every minute that passed without Petrov returning upped my anxiety . Getting the call-up had been nerve-racking enough when I’d expected to warm the bench. I was never supposed to get this far. I hadn’t gone to expensive hockey camps or played in the NCAA or been on a junior team like most of these men around me. I hadn’t even been part of the draft. A little voice inside asked if I could really do this.

Coach Osgood, a former player, now with a bit of a belly and receding hairline, pushed through the doorway in his rumpled suit and every head turned his way. He glanced around the room, players in gear either sitting or standing in front of their stalls. His gaze lingered on me, and I knew.

“Petrov is out for tonight. Nothing serious, but they’ve got ice on his ankle. Mitchell, you’re starting.”

This was it. I swallowed around a dry mouth. “Okay, Coach.”

“What about a backup?” The voice came from the other end of the locker room. Sometimes players from other positions had to dress up as the emergency backup goalie.

“You volunteering?” one of the forwards asked. Laughter broke up the tension.

“Better than Ducky!”

“Fuck off!”

Coach held up a hand. “No worries. We found an EBUG.”

“Poached the Zamboni driver? Do we have to get him some gear?”

Coach shook his head. “Bonfire goalie will sit in as backup. She’s dressing now.”

Dead quiet again. The Bonfire was the Toronto women’s team. They were bringing in one of the Bonfire? That was…that was unprecedented.

“Devereaux?” Cooper asked. Coach nodded.

Cooper grinned and some of the players cheered. The team knew this woman, Devereaux. And liked her. Nerves hit me again. The team was nice when I arrived. They’d said hello, glad I was there, and asked what I needed. But no one had been this happy to see me. Was this woman that good? Would they rather she started? I pulled in another long breath.

“Okay, boys, let’s hit the ice. We’ve got a game to win.”

The team headed out the door. Cooper stopped in front of me, tapped my pads with his stick. “Ready, Mitchell?”

I jammed on my helmet and nodded. I had to be. I stood, took a step and stopped. Tapped the mat three times. My breath whooshed out. I’d almost forgotten.

The next few minutes were a blur. We spilled out onto the ice, the arena dark and the spotlight on us. Devereaux, the Bonfire goalie, joined us, but I didn’t have time to do more than nod at her. I skated to the net, and ran my blocker up the side pole, along the crossbar, and down the other side. Then ran my stick across the goal line. “I need all the help you can give me,” I whispered.

I turned around, everyone singing along with the O Canada soloist. Good, no one noticed me talking to my net. When the anthem was over, the singer carefully made her way off the ice. We were playing Edmonton, so we didn’t get the American anthem, and I missed it.

Introductions, and polite applause when they mentioned me filling in. Next thing, the teams were lined up for the face-off. I shoved away the sounds of the crowd and the worries in my brain and focused on the puck. Tonight was my chance to prove I belonged.

I needed a win.

* * *

Jayna

For a couple of minutes, after Petrov went down in warm-ups, the press box was totally silent. When he got up and made his way off the ice, we all clapped, but he didn’t put weight on his left foot. I updated the social media platforms I had open, and then looked for my notes on the guy they’d brought up from the Inferno to back up Petrov. He’d be starting now.

The team would need someone to back up this guy, Braydon Mitchell. They couldn’t get anyone else from the Inferno—the team had left earlier this afternoon for a game in Belleville, a good two and a half hours away.

What about… I tapped on my phone as I considered. We’d done a promo for my team, the Bonfire, today, since we were starting our playoffs soon. Our home arena was old and dark, so we’d brought a few of the players down to the Blaze arena to shoot photos. Dev had brought her goalie gear along, and the Bonfire didn’t play tonight so she wouldn’t have rushed off.

The opportunity was too good. It was a bizarre chain of events that got us here and it wouldn’t happen again. I picked up my cane and stepped outside the box to call Kira, my boss, for the part of my job that dealt with Blaze publicity.

As soon as she picked up I started, since time was short. “Faith Devereaux was here today for photos with all her goalie gear. Why not get the team to use her as the EBUG?”

A moment of silence.

“Imagine how we could promote this. The Bonfire playoffs start soon.” I hated that my knee injury meant I wouldn’t be on the ice for them, but I was still part of the team. The other part of my job was promoting the Bonfire.

Kira worked for the Blaze though, so I leaned on that angle. “The Blaze will look good too. A woman dressing for a game, willing to push the boundaries for their sister team—and you know absolutely every news outlet, sports or not, would be all over this.”

“Interesting idea. Let me check it out.” She hung up and I texted my teammate.

Are you close by? I’m pushing to get you in as the EBUG.

Faith would be better than calling in a Zamboni driver or putting one of the D-men in goalie pads if Mitchell was injured too. This could be such a big moment if the Blaze went for it. Please let this happen.

We planned to stay for the game. Gear is in the car. Petrov’s out?

Kira called before I could respond. “If she can be ready in fifteen minutes, she’s in.”

“She’s here at the game, and her kit is in her car.”

“Great, I’ll pass that on.”

My hands shook as I responded to Faith.

Get your ass in gear, EBUG!

When I limped back into the box, press people around me were researching Mitchell, who was getting his first start. I’d done research on him earlier but now I had to line up posts for Faith coming in as backup. My laptop almost burned up as I scrambled to get things ready. It was a good thing my hands hadn’t been injured in the hit that took out my knee.

The announcement came. Faith Devereaux, starting goalie for the Toronto Bonfire, would sub in as backup goalie for the Toronto Blaze, with Braydon Mitchell of the Hamilton Inferno starting in net.

I shook out my hands, took a long breath, and then started to post the news on all the platforms the Blaze and Bonfire had an official presence on. But first, I shot a message to our team text.

Dev is the Blaze EBUG!

The arena buzzed as the news spread. Social media lit up. I stood for the anthem, but my mind was elsewhere, and I missed the opening face-off. Not that it mattered—the news was mostly about Faith, sitting on the bench. There was some talk about Mitchell as well: the Blaze were in the playoff hunt, and every point counted.

I wasn’t sure the Blaze were getting points tonight though. Mitchell hadn’t let anything in yet, but he was shaky. A couple of clangs on the goalpost meant he was lucky to still have a shutout. Being thrown into this situation without warning would be difficult for anyone, but this was his job.

And there it was. Goal scored on him in the first five minutes. Posts on social media were already suggesting Faith should be put in goal.

Goalies were divisive to team fans. Some were loyal to a player even after their skills declined. Others gave up on a newbie before they had time to find their footing. Still, imagining what would happen if Mitchell was pulled…I almost got dizzy. A woman playing in a regular season game would be so groundbreaking you’d hear the cheering of female athletes around the world.

Mitchell settled in. The Blaze scored two goals before the period ended, and he made some good saves. He grew more confident, came out of his crease. I suspected that was his more natural style of play.

I was busy in the break. The backup goalie De Vries going out this morning got a lot of media play, but adding Petrov going down and a newbie starting in goal had everyone buzzing. Dev on the bench amped it up to insane levels.

The second period was all about the Blaze. Two more goals, including an impressive backhander by Ducky with the assist from Cooper. Mitchell had found his groove and shut the door. He was new enough that Edmonton hadn’t seen tape on him yet, but he was doing good. No chance he’d be pulled for Faith.

If Petrov had been playing, at this point they might have put his backup in for the third period to get some experience. After all, De Vries wasn’t coming back immediately, so they needed a second goalie.

What if they did it anyway—put the backup in for the third? The game was well in hand, and…before I could second-guess myself, I texted Kira.

If they let Faith play the third, media storm and all good for the Blaze.

Nothing might come of it, but I’d tried. Tried to make history for my sport, women’s hockey. For all women’s sports.

The second intermission was calm enough that I took a pee break, well needed by that point. Interest in the intermission show on the ice was limited so I stopped for a coffee as well. I wanted to be alert for the fallout from this game.

Posts were racing in when I got back in front of my laptop. I checked to see how support for Faith was doing now that the teams were back out for the third period. And promptly choked on my drink.

Faith skated out to the Blaze net, and I almost passed out from the thrill of it. One of ours was doing it, playing in an NHL game. I swore I heard the glass ceiling crack.