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She doesn’t reply, which I decide to mean she’s thinking about what I’ve said. Putting my phone aside, I close my eyes and somehow manage to sleep.

23

Haddy

The computer screen is a series of lines and dots that adjust by fractions every thirty seconds. They show the direction of the wind currents, and I’m comparing the number of cases reported by the Japanese institute to the strength and direction of the storms.

It’s tedious and repetitive and not yielding the results I want, and it’s exactly what I need. Facts. Observable. Measurable.

Gavin’s been distant all week, and I don’t know why it makes me feel guilty. I was trying to extend an olive branch, to tell him I didn’t care about what happened. I really don’t, which is a pretty big step for me.

He’s shown me how devoted and caring he can be, whether it’s for the baby or for me, I can see it’s real.

Whatever happened between him and Karen is their business. I wanted to be honest with him. I didn’t expect him to take it as an insult.

I tried to apologize, but he’s still mad.

Leaning my head on my hand, I squeeze my eyes. Crying is the most ridiculous response to what is going on. Still, knowing he’s angry is a lead weight in my chest.

I was looking forward to sharing his bed that night. Instead, I slept alone and we’re in this place of distance, not really speaking, barely texting, but not technically fighting.

I debate just saying I believe him, it’s all over. But I’m the worst liar. He’d see right through me, and then it would be worse.

Why isn’t it enough that I don’t care anymore?

In the morning, when my alarm goes off, I don’t even want to get up. I want to curl deeper under the covers and cuddle Patsy.

A buzz on my phone makes me jump, and I snatch it up fast, hoping it’s him. It’s not, but it’s something almost as good.

Kimmie

I just found out our moms and our dads have their own group chats Why don’t we have one of those???

Knox

Because you’re my big sister, and that’s weird.

Gina

I love this idea… let’s do it! I do think it should be girls only, tho. Knoxey’s right. We can’t talk about everything with the guys in the group.

Sage

I only text with vets. Otherwise, call if you need me.

Gina

At first I thought you meant themilitary

Sage

Veterinarians

Mav

You might be a cowboy if you prefer talking to horses instead of people.

Sage