Page 10 of Perfectly Matched: Harbor Falls Romance Collection

A flurry of last-minute guests the past two weeks had kept Suzie busy than a one-armed paperhanger, and secretly, she’d been glad of it. Eliza was hosting a craft expo at The Trading Post, continuing her search for more juried crafters. They all needed a place to stay, which was very, very good for the Sweet Hart Inn and for Suzie.

For her business and for her sanity.

She made breakfast every morning at seven and a light brunch around ten-thirty for those who lingered late. The continental buffet was set up in the dining room and guests helped themselves.

Then there was cleanup—the kitchen, the guest rooms, the house in general. And yard work. She couldn’t neglect her yard, garden, and plants.

Of course, there was always the cookbook. An agent had loved her book proposal and was interested in representing her. She had options. She also had to get the darned thing finished, and fast. She’d been given a deadline.

A deadline!

Work kept her mind off other things. Obvious things. Making love with Brad again probably hadn’t been the best idea she’d ever had—but it had happened, nevertheless. And even though she probably shouldn’t have done it, she loved every second and knew Brad did too.

However, it only served to complicate the matter in her head.

The bacon frying in the pan crackled and hissed, sending that sharp, smoky scent her way. Home. The scent reminded her of home. Wasn’t that all she ever wanted? To be happy and content with the perfect life, career, and a home of her own?

Why couldn’t she just let her guard down for once and be happy, without trying to analyze things? She was going to have to turn a leaf. Maybe this hotel thing wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Maybe she should ask Brad more about it…

She sighed. Maybe later. She had work to do first.

It was Saturday and she had loved this entire, busy week. Yes, it was hectic, but it was her week. This was what she wanted to do with the rest of her life—run Sweet Hart Inn. She had to admit that she didn’t want to be a sous chef—not even for Brad—even though she was damn good at doing that job.

And even though she loved Brad—yes, dammit, she did love him—she didn’t want to cook beside him anymore. Not at the hotel. That was his dream, not hers.

She was conflicted about things, but she knew she wanted him in her life.

Period.

There. She admitted it.

Suddenly Suzie realized she’d been the one holding the cards all along. She was the one making the choices for both of them. Brad had not been given a chance. Marnie was right. Brad needed to know everything. She’d been holding back, probably because she was afraid, deep down, of losing him.

Afraid she could never measure up. Like with Cliff. That she could never please the man, and worse, that he would reject her because she couldn’t have a baby.

But Brad was nothing like Cliff. Not one bit. So why was she so worried?

She’d have to suck it up and deal. She couldn’t go on like this any longer and neither, she suspected, could he. He needed to hear from her exactly how she felt about the lodge, about not being his sous chef, about the inn and her business and how she felt about all of that hotel situation, and the baby. Or lack thereof. He had to know.

“Bacon sure smells good.”

Startled, Suzie looked up from where she was lazily pushing around half-cooked slices of bacon. Brad reached over, plucked a piece draining on a paper towel, smiled at her and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. Then, he put one end of the bacon in his mouth, the other end sticking out toward her.

“Here, have a bite,”

he muttered.

She smiled and rubbed her tummy. She felt a little queasy this morning. She had to start eating better.

“Quit playing around and eat it.”

He moved closer and pointed to the bacon.

“Take a bite,”

he mumbled.

Sighing, Suzie relaxed. “Okay,”

she smiled and stepped closer. Brad put his hands on her hips and tugged her to him. Her arms fell naturally over his shoulders. She took the bacon into her mouth and bit off a piece, barely grazing his lips, and chewed.

Brad’s face was close. Hell’s bells, she loved those dark eyes.

“You do good bacon, sweetheart.”

“I do good lots of things,”

she countered, still chewing.

That bad-boy grin returned, and he pulled her in tight.

“Yes, my love. You do.”

Love.

About the time she swallowed the bacon, he captured her lips with his in a gentle caress. Leaning into him, for the first time in days, Suzie let herself enjoy the sensual play of his lips on hers. They broke the kiss after a moment, and she laid her head on his shoulder. His arms came around her and he held her close.

“I’ve missed you like crazy,”

he whispered into her hair.

Squeezing her eyes tight, she once more fought back tears.

“I’ve missed you, too. I’m a insanely busy woman and you’ve entered my insanely busy life…”

Talk to him, Suzie. This is the time. The door is open. Now or never.

Brad pulled back and pointed his thumb toward the dining room.

“You’ve got a hungry crowd gathering out there. Want me to help you get the meal out this morning?”

Suzie looked at his face, studied the ever-present, slightly crooked smile, and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was a goner. She loved him.

“I would like that very much,”

she whispered.

He gave her a quick peck on the lips.

“Consider it done.”

****

An hour or so later, Suzie said.

“Sure is quicker getting things cleaned up with you around.”

Brad glanced up from his dishwashing to the kitchen island where Suzie bagged leftover muffins and croissants.

“I bet. We always were a good team, you know.”

She nodded, averting her gaze.

“I think everyone ate a full breakfast this morning, so I shouldn’t have to put out too much on the continental buffet for the stragglers.”

She popped another muffin into the bag.

“Could be enough bread here to make a nice bread pudding tomorrow.”

Brad flung excess water from his hands into the sink then dried them on a nearby towel. They did work together well but she was avoiding the subject. Turning, he rested against the sink and crossed his arms across his chest, watching her.

Waiting her out was one thing. But she, too, had to participate in this game.

“We’re good for each other, Suzie-Q.”

“What do you think of the blueberry ones? Have you tasted them yet? It’s a new recipe and I think I have it perfected for the cookbook, and—”

Brad stepped forward and reached for her hands.

“Suzie, stop. Look at me.”

Gradually, she stopped stuffing the bread in the bag and looked up. One look in her eyes told him loads. She was scared. Dammit! Why?

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

She plopped on a bar stool behind the kitchen island, keeping her hands in his.

“We are good together, Brad. I know that.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

She jumped up and jerked her hands away from his.

“What’s wrong? Can’t you see? We don’t have any of this worked out, we’re both avoiding it, and…and, hell’s bells mostly it’s me because I…”

She turned her back.

Shit. Don’t clam up on me again.

Brad rounded the kitchen island.

“Suzie, dammit, talk to me. I need to know what you are thinking, what you are feeling. This is driving me nuts. I can’t go on much longer wondering what in the hell you want. Whether you are going to allow me into your life or not.”

She whirled back.

“Okay! All right. I don’t want to be your sous chef!”

He stared at her, hands on hips. What.

“Then why didn’t you say that?”

Her shoulders fell and one hand went to her tummy, rubbing it.

“I don’t want to be your sous chef and I don’t want to have anything to do with the hotel and I don’t want to give up my bed and breakfast.”

She went pale. All at once Brad noticed the dark circles under her eyes. This was wearing on her a lot more than he’d realized.

“Suzie, it’s okay. I know you are upset about the lodge. But do we have to let that come between us? And who said you’d have to give up the inn?”

“No one said it, Brad,”

she bit out.

“But if you have this big monster hotel across the lake, who is going to want to stay here in my humble little house?”

“Lots of people! You will provide them an entirely different experience!”

She shook her head and then leaned against the kitchen island, rubbing her forehead.

“Yeah, right.”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“You’re sure?”

She jerked her chin up.

“I’m fine, Brad.”

“It’s all just fine, Suzie, isn’t it?”

He paced sharply around the kitchen island and spun on his heel back to her. His voice rose.

“The hotel is as important to me as your damn inn is to you. So get over it. It’s going to happen.”

Oh, that was likely not the best comeback.

“The damn inn?”

She shot off her chair.

“This damn inn is my life. It’s all I have. I need it to survive!”

He grasped and held her upper arms.

“Hold it. Is that all you need to survive? This old clapboard house on the lake? I sure was hoping you needed a helluva lot more than that, Suzie. I was hoping you needed me.”

She opened her mouth to say something then evidently thought better of it. All of a sudden, like the wind being yanked out of her sails, she sank again onto a bar stool. He released her arms and cupped her chin in his hand.

“Suzie, that’s all I need to know. Do you want me in your life, or not? Do you want to be with me? Because I’m crazy in love with you and—”

She stopped him with a hand to his forearm. Immediately, her eyes grew misty.

“Brad, I…yeah. Yes. I love you, but….”

The rapid-fire crescendo ring of Brad’s cell phone suddenly split the air about the same time big fat tears rolled down Suzie’s face. A deep-throated sob echoed across the kitchen.

He ignored the phone.

“Talk to me, Suzie. Let’s get all of this out on the table.”

“There is just…so much…to sort out!”

she blubbered.

“We’ll do it, sweetheart.”

The ringing again cut through their argument.

She glanced away, sobbing.

“Oh, hell, answer it!”

At a loss, he didn’t know what to do. He’d never seen her in this kind of emotional state before and he wasn’t handling it well. What was going on?

He punched the talk button on his phone and barked into it. “What!”

****

Suzie took the moment to gather her wits. What the hell was going on with her? Why was she crying like a whimpering idiot? This wasn’t like her. She could usually handle this kind of stuff pretty easily. Why was she such a freaking mess?

“Sure,”

Brad said into the phone.

“If they can get the heavy equipment in there next weekend, we can start the following Monday.”

What? Suzie stood up and her stomach lurched. Abruptly, something more than sobbing confusion welled up in her. Anger.

She stepped closer to Brad the same time he disconnected his call.

“What’s starting on the following Monday? Tell me.”

Brad reached for her.

“Suzie, look. It has to….”

She put her palms out.

“You’re tearing down the lodge.”

He nodded.

“Yes. Next Monday we’ll start.”

“That’s only a week away.”

“True.”

He stared at her.

“Let’s talk about—”

She pushed away.

“No, Brad. I don’t want to hear it. This all makes me really, really sad and sick to my stomach. I don’t know what to think, what to do….”

Oh, God. She might throw up.

“Suzie, it has to happen sometime.”

“Well I don’t want it to happen at all, Brad! Oh….”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t. I don’t feel so well….”

“Suzie?”

Turning, she took a couple of steps toward her bedroom, faltered with her hand over her mouth, then raced toward her master bathroom.

Brad followed.

“Suzie, sweetheart. Are you okay? What the hell is going on with you?”

Suzie slammed the bathroom door shut before he could step across the threshold. She wanted to preserve at least some shred of dignity while she puked her guts out.