Page 69 of Perdition
“Em—”
“Because you gave her things that belong to me without a single consideration to me. Those conversations at the bar where you just chatting, laughing, and unloading your day? Those weremine—and I was at home or on the other end of the phone waiting for you to just start the conversation. Those deep chats in your office where you unburdened yourself of your worries, where you dipped into your bourbon stash to sip and savor, and just unwind? Those were mine, too. And I wasdesperatefor you to share with me so I could share with you—I would have givenanythingfor my husband to come and lift some of my worries off my shoulders! But he didn’t because he had someone else to carry his burdens, so he didn’t bother with coming to free me from mine. And…God—” her voice cracked. “Those afternoons…beneath that red maple…in our spot….” She was shaking now, her body vibrating with the strain of attempting to hold the last bits of herself together.
Frost made the sound of a wounded animal, rushing toward her, his arms outstretched, his face a grievous mask of anguish.
Good. He was hurting, too.
“Sarah knew I was replaceable because you took something that was just mine, just ours, and you gave it to her. She knew the significance of that spot, because it wasn’t a secret in the club. I know those brothers talk like old ladies at a quilting bee, it wouldn’t have taken long before she heard all about the prez and his old lady’s special place out by the pond. And she wanted that, too. She wouldn’t have been satisfied with your time and attention, no, she wanted your memories, too. To replace me in those memories until you didn’t think of me at all—I’d just be this hazy silhouette of someone you once knew, like a ghost, unseen, a foggy memory, easily dissipated and then forgotten. And when she finally got behind your walls, under your guards, beneath your skin, and inside your head, it only took a single suggestion to get you to give up that last piece of what should have been held sacred between us. Mads loves Em forever.”
He sucked in a breath at those words, at that memory of the night he carved those words into the bark of the red maple.
“And that is why that tree is gone. That is why that space is empty, what we planted together pulled out to the tip of its roots—because the sacred become profane, the beauty became ugly, what we both once cherished became worthless.”
TWENTY
Werecostume parties supposed to smell like beer and wax candy and hormones?
The sounds of the bar were nearly deafening, especially since her ears weren’t quite used to that amount of clamor anymore. It had been months since she’d been to a full-on club party, and the house was now much quieter with the twins gone. Before that, though, those two could practically tear the house down to the studs with their arguments—thought they rarely fought—and their movie nights where War turned up the volume to “brain-scramble” so he and his sister could watchThe Expendablesas their ears bled.
Her kids were awesome, and she loved the hell out of them, which was why when Sorsha called, crying about a friend of hers who’d died, Em had dropped everything—including her confrontation with a pale, desperate, and seething Frost—to get to her daughter.
She’d spent the night with Sorsha, getting the full story, holding her as she sobbed, and just being that beautiful young woman’s mom.
Since then, Frost had called and texted every day, but she’d only replied to his texts when they were about the kids.
She was still silently raging over their conversation…and she knew it was because it wasn’t finished.
Theyweren’t finished.
And Frost had made a point of saying that by leaving her property kutte on the porch with a note that read:
This will always belong to you, just like I will.
I love you, Emily.
Mads loves Em 4-ever
That had sent her into a sobbing fit that lead directly to an overindulgence in Dove chocolates, Arbor Mist, and Chinese dramas. She’d tucked in at home, doing her best “hermit with emotional issues” impersonation, and was finally held down and scrubbed clean of chocolate stains and bad choices when Cheri came barreling through the door, followed by Cilla and Stephie, who were determined to get her out of the house and make her feel human again.
Cheri, the bitch, had taken on a new project for a rich client and wouldn’t be joining in on the fun, but she’d instructed Stephie and Cilla to make Em “dance with her tits out.”
Em was torn between grateful for letting the girls drag her to the party, and annoyed…for letting the girls drag her to the party.
And making her wear the costume Stephie had brought for her.
Tugging on the hem of her much too short pleated skirt, she ignored the huff of annoyance from Cilla, who’d weaponized her big doe eyes to make Em’s resolve crack, which lead to Em dressed like some anime schoolgirl, complete with tiny hardplastic Hello Kitty backpack, and sitting at the table in a bar she’d only visited once before.
When Frost was considering investing in it for an old buddy.
He’d brought her, letting her think it was a date, but that thought, and the happiness it brought, died when two men sat down at the table with them, folders of documents were spread out of the table, and she’d disappeared into the vinyl of the booth at her back. It wasn’t until she’d had to pee and she’d asked Frost to move so she could get out that he’d actually remembered she was there. That he’dbrought her there. He’d made excuses, told her he’d make it up to her in bed, then offered to take her somewhere else that weekend. But Em had still gone to be alone that night.
And their weekend date hadn’t happened.
At that memory, tears burned the backs of her eyes, but she told herself it was the booze.
Sipping her Moscow Mule, Em let her gaze drift over the gathered crowd.
Cool Hands was relatively new in the city, and it had become popular quickly—having bikers for patrons and investors drew in the crowds of desperate wannabees and even more desperate wanna-bangs. Tonight, though, the place was at capacity, and she could feel it. The heat, the noise, the expectations….