Page 24

Chapter 23

Keelan

R ina is standing at the entrance of her family's home in that tiny number I recently slipped off of her. The memory of our stolen moment flashes across my mind as she opens her mouth.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Surprise!" We all whisper-yell.

"I know you probably wanted to be alone," Izzy says, approaching her friend. "But it's Friendsgiving, and we couldn't do it without you, Ri."

"Plus, you were supposed to bring the potato salad before you bailed," Fergie says.

Libby slaps him on the shoulder.

I walk up to Rina, those hazel eyes glistening, and bring her in for a hug.

"You didn't have to…" she says against my chest.

I look down at her. "Of course we did."

"Some of the others wanted to come out too, but they had family obligations," Izzy says. "And we have to be back before Friday's game."

The door behind Rina opens.

"What's all this noise?" An older gentleman says.

"Dad, these are…" she hesitates.

"Mr. Lopez!" Izzy tosses her arms around the man. "I'm Izzy. This is my brother Keelan." Izzy grabs me by the hand and drags me to her side.

"I'm Rina's dad," he says to us, all smiles. "But you can call me Beto."

"Hello, sir," I say to the man who raised the beautiful woman we all took a red-eye to come see.

He gives me a look but shakes my hand.

What has Rina told him about me?

Izzy motions for Ryker, who is holding Stella in his arms, to come over next. Fergie and Libby both introduce themselves, too.

"Well, looks like we have plenty of mouths to eat the pig!" Beto says excitedly.

"The... pig?" Izzy’s mouth twists.

"Pa, Izzy is ve—"

"Very excited to try it!" Izzy interrupts her friend.

Rina furrows her brows. "Are you?"

"Yes! Yes," Izzy says, hooking her arm into Rina's. "I want to eat everything that my best friend enjoys eating during the holidays."

"Wonderful!" Beto says, then calls into the house. "Elena, get up. We need to make coffee."

"Pa! It's one in the morning."

"Rina, we have guests. It's a party!"

Ok, I like Beto. I am immediately a fan of Beto. Rina flashes me a look just as the thought goes through my mind.

"A party?" Rina's mom comes out in a robe, hair pinned up for the night.

"And this is my mom," Rina motions. "You've actually met."

Mom brings her hand to her mouth. "Keelan Landry! On my doorstep? Come in. Come in."

She brings me in for a hug the moment I step into the house.

I like both her parents. A lot. Then, she spots Ryker and the baby.

"A baby! Ah!" She approaches my sister and her husband and asks them if she can hold her. Izzy grabs Stella and plops her into Elena's enthusiastic arms.

Inside, Elena puts some espresso on the stove and heats up some milk. Rina helps her prepare the tiny cups and passes them out as soon as they're ready.

Beto cuts up a block of cheese and serves it on crackers.

"So why do Puerto Ricans call this potato cheese?" I ask.

Beto looks at me. "What?"

"The label. It says queso de papa ," I point out. "Isn't that potato cheese?"

Elena laughs in the kitchen, and Rina smiles as she takes a sip of her coffee.

"Potato cheese!" Beto lets out a boisterous laugh. "No, it's queso de papa, as in the Pope."

I look at the cheese, even more confused.

Beto slides into the empty space between Rina and I. "Legend has it that in the eighties, Pope John Paul II visited the island and held mass at Plaza las Americas. He was served our local cheddar cheese and loved it so much that we called it 'the Pope cheese' from then on."

"Oh," my sister and I say.

"I was wondering how they made cheese from potatoes," Izzy admits.

Good, I'm not the only idiot. Apparently us Landrys are just uncultured swine.

"Speaking of swine," I say out loud.

"We weren't speaking of swine," Ryker says, handing my sister a plate of crackers. Stella is already out for the night after so much traveling.

"You want to see it?" Beto asks excitedly.

All the girls shake their heads, saying their own version of " I'll pass ."

But Ryker, Fergie, and I are all in.

"Come on back," Beto says, getting up.

"Good luck," Rina calls out to us, then turns back to her friends. "I still can't believe you guys made it all the way out here just for Thanksgiving."

The screen door closes as Beto leads us out to the backyard.

"Those are coquis," he says into the night filled with distinct chirps.

"Tree frogs," Ryker says, sounding like he knows more than most of us after spending three days on the island.

Fergie approaches a tree and inspects it. "Where are they?"

Beto slaps a hand on his shoulder. "They're hiding in the leaves. Coquis, like most men from the island, are romantics. They sing from dusk till dawn to attract their woman."

"Every night?" Ryker asks.

"Every night. The coqui is the most romantic creature you'll ever meet. But you take it from the island, and it stops singing."

"Isla del encanto," Fergie says. "They love their paradise."

"We all do," Beto says proudly. "Now, come boys."

It's dark, but we make our way to the edge of the property, where a pig is hanging by its hind legs, blood dripping into a pan.

"Say hi to our Thanksgiving dinner," he says, motioning to it.

"Oh, thank God Izzy didn't see this," Ryker murmurs.

"How are we going to cook it?" I ask him.

"That, my new friends, is the best part."

"You're up!" Ryker says, the screen door closing behind him.

The girls all slept in Rina's room and they have yet to come out from their slumber party.

"Me?" I say through a yawn.

Ryker nods. "Don't keep the man waiting."

I slip my shoes on and kick Fergie on my way out. He startles awake on the couch. "Hey, ‘the hell was that for?"

"You were snoring." He points the way to heaven and then settles back onto the couch to continue his nap.

Beto woke us boys up early to teach us how to properly prepare a pig. He had the giant thing sitting on an old table outside, looking pale and not tasty. And by the time we finished seasoning it with his family's secret rub, it looked good enough to eat.

Now, he's been calling us out interchangeably to have a turn with clearing the ash, refreshing the charcoal, and flipping the pig as needed.

I step out into the lush green backyard. Now, in the daylight, I can see just how close their property is to the ocean. There are palm trees, and the kind of plants that look like they were around during the time of the dinosaurs. Beto is at the back of the property, under a big umbrella-like tree.

"This place is beautiful," I say, just as the neighbor’s rooster crows, reminding me this isn't like any place I've ever been.

Beto smiles and reaches into a small cooler. He tosses me a tiny gold can.

"What's this?"

"The best beer in the world," he says, cracking one open for himself.

I laugh. "Beto, the sun barely just came up."

He shrugs. "We weren't expecting to have guests show up at our doorstep at one in the morning, but here we are. In Puerto Rico, anything is possible."

I chuckle, cracking open my can and clinking his as I sit in the folding chair beside him.

There's smoke coming out from the roasting box currently cooking tonight's main dish. It already smells so good.

"You see this tree." He motions to the tree just above the metal box.

"Yeah?"

"In the Spring and Summer—it produces the most vibrant red flowers. It looks like a fiery red tree. There are so many of them. When Rina was little, she used to sit under it and color. Said it gave her inspiration."

A red tree was Rina's favorite. Of course, it would be. Red suits her.

"She likes you," Beto says matter-of-factly.

I tear my eyes from the foliage and look at him. "What?"

"My daughter doesn't just hug people. When I came out to the porch and saw her hugging you—I knew you were more than just a friend."

"Oh… well, I like your daughter, sir. She's… really special."

He nods, his eyes watching me intently.

"Rina doesn't open up to people. She was always a quiet kid. Smart. Calculative. Hard-working. But peopling…" he chuckles. "I used to beg that girl to go make friends. Be social. Being an only child can be so quiet. But she liked quiet. She was always in her head."

"I can see that."

"But now, I see her with you guys. This group of friends. She's what, thirty-one and finally getting it. Life is no good alone."

"That's how I've always felt," I say, relaxing into the seat. We both sip on our beers and look around the lush garden.

"I can tell you're a family man, Keelan. Any guy who is willing to create the space for people to want to come together—they value what's important in this life. Money. Fame. Power… it only gets you so far. At the end of the day, when you're on your deathbed, it's the people surrounding you. The love pouring out of them that will make this life worth it."

I find myself staring at him. A picture of my own father, on his deathbed, pleading with me to take care of my sister, plays out in my mind.

I nod quietly.

Beto sighs. "Rina and her mother, they… they haven't had it easy in that department."

"In what department?"

"Well… family. Rina always wanted a brother or a sister. My wife has a condition. She can't carry a child to term. Rina was our gift."

He shakes his head. "Never thought my daughter would have to put up with the same issue. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

I'm not tracking. "Beto… what issue?"

"You don't know?" He cocks his head at me. "Rina and Elena both suffer from lupus. It's an autoimmune disease that attacks the healthy cells in their bodies. When they get pregnant, the body sees the baby's cells as an intruder, and it fights it. Though we suspected Rina had it early in life, we didn’t have her tested. She was so young. We wanted her to live her life with hope.” He clasped his hands tightly. “It wasn’t until recently that a blood test confirmed it. Actually, it was the reason for her coming here."

He tears up. "I've had to console my wife through more losses than I care to admit. And they never got easier. Each one hurt her. It hurt me. And now, Rina—"

I set the beer down on the grass and reach for his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“There's nothing like watching the woman you love sob until she can't breathe, Keelan. It's a feeling of helplessness like no other. Wanting to make her feel better, but knowing there's nothing you can do. Nothing you can say. All you can do is just be there."

"That sounds like hell," I croak.

He nods his agreement. "It's a pain I don't wish on anyone."

He's quiet for a while.

"But how do you know that Rina can't carry a child? What if she's not like her mom?"

He watches me carefully before he says the next words. "We know because it's already happened."

I straighten. "What's already happened, Beto?"

He sighs. "Rina doesn't talk about it, but when she was in college, she came home pregnant after her freshman year. She was scared, sure. But we would do anything to help her. Anything," he says.

I'm still processing the words he's saying when he adds, "What I couldn't help her with was the pain of losing that child after she had already decided she was ready. She wanted to be a mother. I had walked through it so many times with Elena, but then to have to watch my own daughter go through it… it broke me."

I don't have words. I can't find words that would even make what he's saying to me make any sense. I have a thousand questions.

When was this? How old was she? Who was the father?

I speak none of these words out loud because the screen door on the back porch slams shut, and Rina is standing there. She’s dressed in a pair of shorts and an off-the-shoulder white shirt.

She waves at us to come inside and we signal we'll be right there. We grab our beers and start walking back to the house.

"Keelan, please don't tell her I said anything. Her story isn't mine to share. I just want you to know before anything goes too far. If having a family is something you desire one day… this is the reality."

I don't say anything. I can't say anything. Because if I do, I risk saying the absolute dumbest thing in the world to a man who has suffered so much for the women he loves.

And it's not my place.

"Thank you," I say as we approach the back door.

"You're welcome. And if anyone asks—we were just checking on the pig, right?" Beto asks.

"Right," I say, giving him my best smile.

But as soon as he turns to head inside, I feel something rise up in my chest. Something uncontrollable and innate.

"I'll be in in just a minute," I tell him.

He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes, and once he's inside the house, I run to the corner of the garden and throw up.

On the other side of the fence are the neighbors’ chickens, judging me with their clucking and curious looks.

I came here because Rina needed me. I could feel it. What I wasn't expecting was to find out that she may have needed me even more at a time in her life when she was the most fragile.

And I wasn't there for her.

I suck. I suck so bad.

Ryker opens the back door, his daughter bouncing on his hip. "You gonna eat, man?"

Food is the last thing on my mind.