Page 18

Chapter 17

Rina

18 years old | Finals Week

I pull my backpack strap closer to my body and look around for the guy that everybody knows. The last time I was here was the first time I met him. And now, he's the guy I can't shake because he's made it his life's mission to get me to pass my English finals with flying colors.

And it's made just slightly more uncomfortable by the fact that he and Jenny broke up a few days ago.

Neither one of them has really talked about why. Instead, all I get are vague answers, such as 'it's for the best.' But Jenny was very adamant about me going through with the tutoring plan. She wants to see me ace my English final just as much as I do. And even though we're both very different, I'm leaning into my forced friendship with the preppy cheerleader.

The doors open to the coffee shop, and Keelan strolls in. He looks calm and is sucking on… a cigarette?

Nope, that's a lollipop.

He glances around the busy shop, and the moment he sees me, a smile cracks on his face. "There you are. Sorry, practice ran late."

"We really don't have to do this, you know."

Keelan's brows furrow as he approaches me. "Are you kidding me? Your grade is now my grade. We're seeing this through."

He looks around the shop for a table, but there are none. "Maybe just not here."

"Library's packed too," I tell him. I push my glasses up my nose.

"Ok, ok…. hmm. Let me think. Oh! Ryker's out visiting his brother. He just left. We can go back to my dorm."

Alone? In Keelan's dorm room? "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not? It's quiet. Nobody will bother us."

I give the coffee shop one more glance. It feels like the space has gotten progressively louder since arriving.

"Ok, you win. Lead the way, team captain."

His smile is radiant as he opens the door and holds it out for me. "Did you see that win at yesterday's game?"

"I didn't personally, but judging from the afterparty on campus that didn't let up until four in the morning—it must've been good."

"Are you ever going to come watch me play? I keep inviting you, and you always seem to find an excuse." He looks over at me as I struggle to match his strides.

Watching Keelan in his element wouldn't be so bad. But that would also mean taking this arrangement beyond just tutor and student and into the realm of friendship.

"Can't I just get the post-game cliff notes?"

He purses his lips. "How about this… let's make a bet."

"A bet? That sounds dangerous."

He chuckles. "If you pass your exam on Friday thanks to the infallible help of yours truly—then you'll come to my game."

"And if I don't pass?"

He cocks his head at me. "That's not going to happen."

"Mmm… history has proven that it's more likely that I won't."

"Yeah, but history never takes into account the present. And at this very moment, you have me all in on making sure you do pass."

We get to his dorm, and even as we approach, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. Like if I walk through that door, something is going to change and there's no going back from here.

"I don't know," I pause as we wait for some students to leave.

"Can you just trust me, Rina? I won't let you drown, remember?"

His eyes are warm and protective. And it somehow feels very wrong that he's looking at me like that when he was just dating my friend.

But he's not anymore.

What kind of friend would I be if, just days after they split up, I let myself be carried away by my friend's ex-boyfriend's charms? A bad one—that's what kind of friend.

We walk up the stairs to the second floor of the building, where Keelan and Ryker share a room. He high-fives guys who are leaving from various doors, and they all look at me like I must be Keelan's catch of the night.

I roll my eyes. If they only knew. I really am just here to study, even if the optics don't look so great.

He stops in front of a door at the end of the hall and fishes in his pockets for the keys.

"Are you planning on staying on campus next semester?" I ask him as he inserts his key with one hand and holds the strap of his black backpack over one shoulder.

"I'm hoping to rent a house with a few of the guys. Split the rent. I'm not too keen on campus housing."

A door opens behind us, and a few more dudes pour out, all talking excitedly about their plans to hit up a local dance club.

They all look at me and Keelan in the hall as they brush past us.

Keelan is still struggling with the key and is now jostling the doorknob, trying to get it open. "Not to mention, I put a work order in to get this keyhole replaced four months ago and still haven't heard back from student housing."

"Maybe you should sic your lawyer friend on them."

The door finally gives and Keelan almost tumbles inside. "My lawyer friend?"

"Yeah, the guy we hung out with on the Star Wars night."

"Oh, you mean McEvoy?" He swings his backpack off his shoulder and onto his bed and tosses the keys onto his desk before flipping on the light on the bedside table.

The room looks almost identical to mine and Jenny's except in place of Jenny's colorful vision board and pink and sequin decor. The room is plastered with NHL athletes. There are signed posters, jerseys, and even a painted green goalie mask hanging over the bed that I assume belongs to Ryker since it's meticulously made and looks like nobody has slept in it all semester.

Keelan's bed, on the other hand, looks like he always sleeps in it and never bothers to actually make it. "Is your bed always in perpetual disarray?"

He grins. "Are you judging me right now, Your Majesty?"

"No. It was just a question. And are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

"Depends." He pulls out a chair and pats it for me to sit down. "Are you ever going to let me take you out?"

I'm about to sit down, but the straightforwardness of his question nearly makes me miss the chair, and I stumble back into it. Keelan has quick reflexes and reaches out to catch my arm.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles, letting it go to allow me to settle down. "I know what this is?"

I clear my throat uncomfortably and reach for my backpack. "And what is this?"

"We're friends." He smiles and then drops into his messy bed, pulls out his own book, and starts flipping it to the current chapter we're discussing. "Ok, now let's get back on track. We got a lot of ground to cover."

Three hours and a split energy drink between the two of us later, I feel like my brain is mush. I slam my textbook closed.

"We have two more chapters."

"I can't," I practically cry from my place on the floor, my head resting at the edge of Ryker's bed.

Keelan closes his book, too. "Ok, I hear your pleas, my little queen. We can take a break."

"Thank God, because if I have to read another stream-of-consciousness rant, my brain is going to burst."

"Alright," he says, pushing himself up off his place on his bed. "Let's get up and get our blood flowing."

He jumps up and starts shaking out his limbs, then reaches down to help me up.

I reluctantly take his hand, and he hauls me off the floor and straight into his chest. "Woah, there. Don't be so eager."

"You did that on purpose."

"Maybe." His eyes sparkle with mischief, and I can't ignore that dipping feeling again—the same one I felt the first time I interacted with this guy.

He reaches for his bright blue iPod shuffle and starts spinning it until it lands on a song he wants. Then he plugs it into his stereo and presses play.

The words start immediately. "Today I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna lay in my bed."

Keelan sings along to them. And as he does, he dances in a circle around me, belting out the words.

I just stand there, watching him dance around me and shake my head. By the time the chorus comes back on, he grabs my hand and spins me around, locking me in as he twirls us and sings.

I can't help but relax. Keelan is so carefree. So fun. I wonder what kind of life a guy like him had to be this way.

He must have a great family. His parents are probably those kinds of people who jam out to music while they cook together, and they have random dance parties when the mood gets too glum.

Keelan is all bright light and joy. And without even trying, just by being with him, I feel that seep into my own life.

I couldn't stop the smile on my face if I tried. The song gets to the part where he talks about meeting a really nice girl and having really nice… ahem.

And as he sings that part, Keelan dips me and slowly brings me back up until we're face to face.

I want to kiss him.

I've never felt the urge to kiss someone so much in my life, but I want to. Nobody is around. He's already joked about going on a date. It could be our little moment. We'd never have to talk about it again.

So, before I can talk myself out of it, I reach for his neck and pull his face down to meet mine. He gasps, the song's words halting on his lips as we kiss for the first time.

The warmth of his mouth on mine makes the world feel like it's stopped for the briefest of moments. The music fades to the background, and it's just the two of us holding each other.

Kissing each other.

Wanting each other.

But it doesn't stop there. Like a dam that's been cracked and the waters unleashed, our hands move over our bodies. Exploring. Feeling. Touching.

My hands reach for the hem of his shirt, and he reaches for the back of it, tugging it over his head and arms in one flush motion. Then his hands are on my shirt, ripping it over my head.

He brings a hand to my cheek and bends down to kiss the side of my neck, whispering, "We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable doing, Rina."

Hearing him say those words makes me melt into him even more.

Our lips meet, and after tasting each other for a few moments more, I say, "I want it all."

His rich, warm eyes look at mine with so much tenderness, and he gives me a soft nod before his hands snake behind my legs and he lifts me up. I secure myself to him, wrapping my legs around his waist and feeling the evidence of his arousal between us.

He holds me up, those hard-earned muscles working to keep me in place as we continue to devour each other.

He spins and walks me to his bed, where he softly lays me down. He brings his lips to my abdomen and leaves open-mouthed kisses all the way down to the soft fabric of my panties.

"You taste absolutely divine." His eyes meet mine, searching for permission to keep going.

I nod. My nerves are through the roof. I've never gone this far with a guy. But this feels right—for it to be him.

Even if my heart struggles not to feel like I'm betraying my friend.

"Tell me to stop and I will," he says, voice husky with need.

I reach for him and bring our lips together again. "Don't stop."

As our tongues dance, he tugs my panties down my legs and tosses them to the floor. Then he stands and unzips his pants, letting them drop to the ground.

There between us, I see the outline of his erection beneath the fabric of his boxer briefs. My mouth goes dry.

How will he fit? He'll ruin me.

I sit up so he's standing between my legs on the bed.

"You're sure?" He asks again.

"Y-yes." I meet his concerned eyes.

"Then, why do you look so scared, beautiful?"

Should I tell him? That I've never done this before? That he'd be the first guy I ever slept with?

Oh, God. What would my mother think of me if she found out I was in a boy's dorm about to do something so shameful?

"I'm just… a little nervous."

He smiles, a crooked, endearing smile. "I am, too. You make me nervous," he says. His hands come up to my shoulder and up my neck. I lean into his touch.

"But if you trust me, Rina. I'll make sure it feels amazing for you. That's all that matters to me."

"I-I trust you."

Keelan smiles and kisses my lips, then reaches into the bedside drawer and shifts the contents inside. When he doesn't find what he's looking for, he lets out a slow, "Shit."

"What's the matter?"

"I don't have any condoms."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he says, sounding defeated.

"We can just… take it slow. I'm not on birth control, but I'm clean."

"I'm clean too. I got tested earlier this week."

After breaking things off with Jenny, no doubt.

"Okay," I whisper.

"Okay," he says. "We'll go slow."