Page 19

CHAPTER 19

PAXTON

I skate around near the goal, shifting my position to skate backward as the Tampa Bay Lightning takes possession of the puck.

My focus is solely on the puck handlers heading toward me and Fender guarding the goal behind me.

I’ve put every ounce of my frustration into this game, earning a penalty in the first period that had me sitting out for two minutes. I’ve been more careful this period, and now the clock is about out.

We’re winning now, but if they score, we’ll go into a shoot-out.

I don’t want that.

I want to win. I want to control something in my world when it feels like it’s spinning out.

The Lightning cranks his stick back for a shot, but I swoop in, taking my opportunity to steal the puck, sliding it over to Lawson who takes off toward the opposite goal.

Satisfaction at a good steal does little to sooth my jagged insides, but I’ll take it.

Lawson takes the shot, the puck hitting the back of the net to secure us the win.

A brief flash of happiness blazes through me, quickly crushed by the hollow feeling I haven’t been able to shake since yesterday.

Since I realized Monroe, the love of my life, would never feel the same for me.

It hurts just as much now as it did when I walked into my house yesterday, and it still hurts even after Coach gives us a congratulatory speech. It hurts while I turn down my friends’ multiple pleas to go out and celebrate tonight.

Hurts as I walk into my hotel room, freshly showered as I collapse on the bed.

Part of me wishes I can go back and time and store that ring somewhere Monroe would never find it. Then this never would’ve happened because I never would’ve pushed her. We’d be out celebrating the win with our friends, sneaking a few kisses before we had to go back to our assigned rooms with our assigned partners. I bunked with Lawson, so at least I know I have a few hours of solitude to wallow in my grief.

A knock sounds on the door, and I groan as I shove off the bed. “Did you forget your key—” My words die as I find Monroe on the other side of the door, not Lawson.

She’s beautiful even though she looks as wrecked as I feel.

“Can I come in?” she asks. “To talk, please,” she clarifies, like I might think she’s only here for some sort of physical release.

“Of course,” I say, closing the door behind her as she hurries inside. Relief is already pooling in my veins at just the sight of her, like having her here is righting some wrong in my life.

Even though she could be here to ask me to go back to being just friends.

I don’t think I’ll be able to do that. Not now. Maybe with time?—

“I’m so sorry,” she says as she turns to focus on me, tears already welling in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to panic like I did.”

“Hey,” I say, opening my arms. “Come here.”

She immediately falls into my embrace, and I tuck her against my chest, breathing deeply at how perfect she fits against me.

“I’m sorry,” I say before she continues. “I should’ve stayed and talked things out. I just couldn’t handle hearing your truth and I apologize?—”

“No,” she cuts me off this time, pulling out of my arms to look up at me. “You didn’t hear my truth.”

I swallow hard, bracing myself for her to let me down easy.

“You only saw my lies.”

I tilt my head.

“I know that doesn’t make any sense,” she groans, frustrated as she starts pacing. “Lies,” she continues. “Because my panic reaction isn’t how my heart reacted.”

“I’m having a hard time following that,” I admit.

“I get that,” she says. “I was having a hard time too. You see, Paxton, the first thought, instinct, and feeling I had at seeing the ring was yes . It was all the good things I’ve ever imagined between you and I, a life of happiness and fun and challenges and all the good stuff . But then that immediately led to all the bad that could happen, a picture of you and me tearing each other apart thirty years down the road like I’ve seen so many times before. But that was fear talking, maybe a reasonable fear, but not one with any credibility when it comes to me and you.”

Hope builds in my chest as I hang onto the first portion of her explanation where she said her instinct was yes .

“So,” she says, blowing out a breath and stopping in front of me. “I wanted to tell you before I found that ring. Wanted to tell you so many times before, but that fear held me back. The idea of hurting you or us and what we have has always held me back, always sent me running the opposite direction. The one I thought was safer.” She shrugs. “I’m done running.”

Monroe pulls something from her pocket, dropping to one knee in front of me, freezing me in utter shock.

“Paxton,” she says, holding up a small, plastic ring. “You are my best friend, the love of my life, the one constant I’ve always clung to. You’re my lifeline, the happiness in every single day, and I’ve loved you for far longer than you’ve ever known. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

My mouth drops, a laugh rumbling from my chest.

“Seriously,” I say, tugging her to her feet.

Her smile drops. “I’ll get you a nicer ring,” she says. “This was all I could find at the store near the hotel?—”

I take the ring from her, sliding it on my pinky. It only fits halfway. “No, not that,” I say. “Are you sure? We don’t have to take this step right now,” I explain. “We don’t ever have to take it. I just want to be with you.”

Her eyes light up, and she throws her arms around my neck. I hold her to me, my heart knitting itself back together.

“I want you forever, Paxton,” she says, pulling away enough to brush her lips over mine. “I’m not asking you because I think you need to hear it or because I think you want this. I’m asking you for me . Because I love you. Because I’ve been in love with my best friend for a long time and did nothing about it and now, I’m done wasting time.”

I swallow the emotions down, lifting her off her feet and pressing my lips to hers in a dominating, claiming kiss.

“Yes,” I say against her mouth, walking her to the bed.

“Yes, what?” she asks, kissing me harder.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” I clarify on a laugh, laying her on the bed, settling between her thighs. “It’s always been you,” I say, kissing down her neck.

“Blakely promised she wouldn’t let Lawson come back to the room until I gave her an all clear,” she says on a released breath, grabbing my shirt and tugging it over my head.

“I love you,” I say, the words an unleashing for both of us as we tear at each other’s clothes, kissing and touching and clinging to each other like it’s the first time.

“I love you,” she says. “Always.” She shifts against me after we’ve stripped each other bare, urging me to my back as she climbs atop me.

Blood is liquid fire in my veins as she drags her heat over my aching cock, her hands braced on my chest as she lowers herself on me.

“Fuck,” I groan as she seats herself. “You feel so good.”

She gasps, never taking her eyes off me as she starts to ride me. “You’re incredible,” she says. “Nothing is better than you.”

I push up until we’re chest to chest, wrapping my arms around her as she continues to ride me. I smooth my hands over her skin, relishing each touch. She’s fire beneath my hands, the rolls of her hips driving me absolutely mad with need.

She’s my world. My everything. And I’m never going to let her go.

Her fingers grip my hair as she kisses me before she pulls away. “I love you,” she says again, and I swear those words are the best I’ve ever heard in my life.

“I love you.” I seal the words with a kiss, the two of us getting lost in each other so entirely I’m not sure where she begins and I end.

All I know is we’re together in every way that matters, and I couldn’t be happier.

“Paxton,” she moans my name as I feel her clench tight around me.

“Yes,” I groan, clinging to her tighter as my release builds right alongside hers.

“I’m…I’m…”

“I’ve got you,” I say, shifting a hand between us, rolling my fingers along her clit as she continues to rock against me.

She gasps, and I feel her go absolutely liquid around me, which sends me flying right over the edge with her.

We catch our breath, but I don’t dare let her go.

She smiles before dropping her head over my shoulder, going limp against me. “Forever is looking pretty great right now,” she says.

I smile, holding her tighter. “It really does.”