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Page 31 of Panther’s Magpie (Mountain River MC #1)

CHAPTER

TWENTY-NINE

MAGGIE

I t’s been a week since Aspen has been back. She hasn’t come out of her room much. It does bring me some comfort to know she is in the room that I once claimed for my own. Now that I’m living with Calloway full-time, I don’t need it anymore.

I know she has been having nightmares, though. Many nights I find myself sitting outside of her door listening to her scream, knowing she doesn’t want my comfort. I’m grateful she allows Calloway in there, though. He calms her down and holds her until she falls asleep again.

All the lack of sleep is making me exhausted, but I want to support Aspen the only way I know how.

“Is she still hiding out in her room?” Rain asks me as she comes to sit next to me at the bar.

I glance over my shoulder toward the hall. “She is.”

She nods. “Okay. Be right back.”

“Rain, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

She ignores me, heading down the hall. I hear her knocking on the door, screaming out to Aspen to open it before she breaks it down.

Then silence.

After several minutes, Rain calls out my name.

Hesitantly, I make my way down the hall. Aspen is on her bed, not looking at the door. Rain has her arms folded.

“Now I know you aren’t dumb, Aspen. Maggie has been your best friend for most of your life.

You know and I know that this anger isn’t real.

You are projecting your feelings on her because she is a real-life person you can hate right now.

I’m sure it hurt to find out that they were in love, but that’s not why you are really mad.

Now you two talk it out. There is no point in you suffering alone when you have someone who cares about you right here with you. ”

Rain nods at me before she walks out of the room slamming the door.

“Sorry, I told her it wasn’t a good idea. I can go,” I tell Aspen.

“She’s waiting outside. She can be annoying like that.”

I smile a little. “That she can.”

After several minutes of silence, I ask, “How are you doing really?”

She looks over at me, tears in her eyes. “Every time I close my eyes, I see them. I know they aren’t here anymore. Calloway assured me that none of them were left breathing, but they are still alive here.”

She taps the side of her head. I will never fathom what she has gone through. I wish I could take it all away for her.

“Do you want to talk to someone about it? Like a professional?” I ask her.

She was forced to talk to a therapist once as a kid and hated it. I think it would be beneficial for her now.

“I don’t know. Maybe? What can I really say? Can I tell them my monsters are all slain by my brother but they still haunt me? What would that mean for Calloway?”

I sigh. “If you want to talk to someone, we will make it happen. Don’t worry about that. Your mental health is more important.”

She lets out a small chuckle. “If I got him sent away, would you feel like I took him from you?”

I frown. “No, because he would come back to me eventually. He would still be mine.”

She deflates. “I didn’t mean that. I don’t want him to go away. My head is all messed up. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You have things to work through. I want to help you through it like you helped me through my issues. Only if you want me to, though.”

She sniffles. “I’ve missed you. They would taunt me with you.

They would tell me they were going to grab you next.

That you would be beside me suffering. I would always lash out then.

I didn’t want you there. I never want you to experience what I did.

I’m sorry I ever insinuated that I wanted that. ”

I step closer to the bed, taking a seat on the edge. “I know. You were raw when you got here, and it didn’t help that you found out I fell in love with your brother. I don’t blame you for your words. Don’t even stress about them.”

“I thought you would have left,” she says suddenly.

“I thought you would have gone home. I mean, months had gone by. I figured there is no way she is still here. She went back to school. She is living her life. Then I saw you here and realized all those taunts they threw at me? They were real. He would tell me about you being here. He even said he saw you once at some community event. I figured he had to have been lying, so when I saw you, it hurt. He made it sound like you were living your best life while I was suffering.”

My own tears fill my eyes. “I missed you like crazy every single day. I asked about you constantly. These guys never stopped looking for you. They had rotations to ride out looking for any sign of where you could be. You never once left our minds. We weren’t out living our best lives because we didn’t have you here with us. ”

She nods. “I see that now. I know you’ve been sleeping in the hall outside my door with Calloway. That you’ve been listening to my nightmares.”

I wince. I had no idea she was clued into that.

“I only wanted to suffer with you. We are best friends. You cry, I cry. Ride or dies.”

She laughs. “I thought you hated that saying. What was it you used to say, ‘why do we have to die?’ Now you’re saying it to me.”

I smile. “I never got it before, but I do now. I would die for you, Aspen. Any day of the week.”

She sucks in a breath before she starts to sob. The next instant she is next to me, her arms wrapped around me. I let my own tears fall as I hold her to me.

“I never liked Ava. I’m so glad it’s you with him and not her. Truly. I’m happy for you. Please don’t leave me,” she sobs out.

“Never. You will always be my best friend. No matter what.”

She sobs harder. “Do you think Calloway will make me go home?”

“I won’t let him. If I belong here, then you do too. Remember? It’s us against the world.”

She laughs. “Us against the world.”

For the first time in months, I feel like everything might truly be all right.

PANTHER

When I arrive back at the clubhouse, I do not expect to find Maggie and Aspen at the bar playing cards. I’m so shocked that I almost turn back around and come back in just to make sure my eyes are okay.

Then Maggie smiles over at me.

“You’re home,” she says, all soft and sweet.

Aspen looks a little uncomfortable but smiles at me.

“I don’t see any blood. Is everything okay?” I ask, cautiously moving toward them.

“Yep. We had a heart-to-heart. Aspen will always be my best friend,” Maggie tells me.

I move closer to her, slowly wrapping my arm around her shoulders before I press a kiss to the top of her head.

“That’s good. How are you feeling, Aspen? It’s good to see you out of your room.”

She gives me a sad smile. “It will take time to be okay again, but that’s okay.”

“I have Meek looking into a possible therapist for her. Me too. I think it would be good for us both to talk to someone.” Maggie holds out her hand, holding Aspen’s.

“That’s good. A great idea, really,” I tell them, shocked that they somehow overcame their differences.

Aspen looks down a moment before she looks back up at me. “Can we talk for a minute?”

I glance at Maggie, who nods encouragingly.

“Sure. Let’s go to my office.”

I drop a quick kiss on Maggie’s lips before I lead the way.

“I don’t know if I will ever get used to seeing that,” Aspen admits along the way.

“I love her,” I admit to Aspen.

“I know. She loves you too. I’m happy for you both. Really. I mean it.”

I nod, opening the door to my office, letting her in before I shut it behind us.

When I turn back around, Aspen hugs me tightly. I hug her back, holding her to me.

“I’m sorry I was a brat. I love you. You’re the best big brother in the world. Maggie said you never stopped looking for me. I never lost hope that you would show up and save me.”

“I would never stop looking for you. You’re my little sister. I promised to protect you.”

“I know. Still, I was such a shit at times. Being there with them, I had a lot of time to contemplate the things I did over the years. I got into a lot of trouble. I think I realize now that I was trying to get your attention.”

I sigh. “You always had it.”

“It didn’t feel like it. You graduated high school and moved away to join all of this, and I felt abandoned. You would call and text, but you weren’t there. I think I needed my big brother.”

I pull back and look down at her. “I’m sorry. I never had a sister before. I didn’t know that. I wish you had spoken up. Told me how you were feeling.”

She laughs. “A foster kid being good at talking about feelings? That’s a joke.”

I laugh along with her. “Fair point. Still, that’s the past. I’ll be here for you now. You only need to tell me what you need.”

“I don’t want to go back to school.”

I smile. “I figured as much. You want to stay here?”

She nods, “I don’t want to be apart again. I know you said this life wasn’t for me, but I want it to be.”

“I thought keeping you away would keep you out of danger, but I should have known you would find trouble. You can stay, Aspen. For as long as you want. I won’t keep you away again.”

She lets out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”

I hug her closer to me again. “Of course. Are we good now?”

She pulls out of my arms, tensing as she works up to whatever she has to say next.

“I want to know what you did with Asher. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.”

I roll my eyes. “I swear, you are a magnet for trouble. What do you care what I did with him?”

“I told you. He saved me. I want to make sure he’s okay. He has a sister, you know.”

“I do know. I’ve met her, and I bet right now he is with her. I didn’t do anything to him, Aspen. I spared his life for what he did with yours. You know he was a cop, right?”

She looks shocked at that admission. “No. I had no idea.”

“Yeah, so against my better judgment, I let him go. He doesn’t seem in a hurry to turn me in, though. As long as he stays in his lane, I’ll stay in mine.”

“I’ll never see him again, will I?” she asks.

I frown. “I don’t know. Do you want to?”

She looks down at the floor. “I don’t know. Part of me does because he saved me, but he also reminds me of what happened there. I don’t know how I feel about him.”

This is what I was afraid of with Maggie. I think Aspen has trauma bonded with this guy. I’m even more thankful now that I let him go and sent him far away from her. She doesn’t need this shit in her life right now.

“Well, you don’t need to figure it out now. Right now, all you need to do is focus on getting yourself better. I know you don’t want to talk about what happened with me, but Meek will get you a good therapist. I hope you open up to them.”

“Even if it incriminates you?” she asks.

I chuckle. “Aspen, Meek won’t pick someone who would turn us in. They will be good at their job and be willing to keep their traps shut. So say whatever you want to them. Whatever helps you process.”

She gives me a watery smile, smashing her body into me in another hug.

“You really are the best brother in the world.”

“I’ll remember you said that when I marry your best friend.”

“Pssh. I’ll be standing at her side offering her a getaway car in case she gets cold feet.”

I growl, “She won’t leave me.”

Aspen laughs. “No, she won’t. Neither will I. We are a real family now.”

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