Page 20 of Panther’s Magpie (Mountain River MC #1)

CHAPTER

EIGHTEEN

MAGGIE

M y breath catches as I hear the front door open.

This is it.

I look over my shoulder and smile. “Hey, how was your day?”

“Fine. Are you making dinner?”

Turning away from the pot, I study him. He says he’s fine, but his body language says otherwise. I wonder what happened. I want to ask, but I don’t.

“I am. I hope that’s okay.”

The corner of his mouth kicks up. “I don’t remember the last time someone made me a home-cooked meal in my place.”

He shouldn’t get too excited. I haven’t cooked much in my life. It’s a simple recipe I found online, but I think it came out all right.

“Well, then mark today on your calendar. It’s almost ready if you want to get cleaned up.”

I blow out a breath as he stomps down the hall. After grabbing the plates from the cabinet, I plate the lemon pepper chicken, asparagus, and rice. Panther comes out right as I set the plates on the table.

“This looks great. Thanks,” he says as he sits down.

I smile at him. “Don’t thank me yet. It’s my first time making it.”

“I’m sure it’s delicious,” he tells me.

For the first time since we started getting to know each other, we sit in awkward silence. It’s clear that he has something on his mind, and as badly as I want to ask, I won’t. I want him to open up to me without having to pry.

I look around the house and see the little touches that I added while he was gone. I knew it was a risk, but did I overstep that badly? Does he hate what I did? Did he even notice?

I look at him through my eyelashes as I move my food around the plate with my fork. His eyes are down, but he’s eating.

My insecurities come rushing forward.

Maybe I overstayed my welcome. Yeah, he told me he wanted me to stay here while he was gone, but maybe he was just saying what I wanted to hear and he didn’t mean it.

Maybe he was just being nice.

The sound of him placing his fork down on his plate has me looking up.

“Seriously, Maggie, this was delicious. Thank you.”

I beam at his compliment. I’m so happy it turned out good.

“You’re welcome.”

He frowns as he looks at my plate. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just not hungry. I kept trying things as I cooked to make sure it was tasting okay.”

He nods his head like that makes sense.

“Want to go sit on the porch with me?” he asks.

“Sure.”

Pushing the chair away from the table, I stand. As I reach for my plate, he leans forward and grabs it.

“Let me.”

“No, I can do it,” I insist.

“Please. You cooked, I’ll clean.”

I give up quickly. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Why don’t you head out onto the porch, and I’ll meet you soon?”

“Sure.”

I head out to the porch. Instead of sitting on one of the chairs, I sit on the railing and lean against one of the pillars. A few minutes later, he joins me.

“I don’t know how you can sit up there. My ass would be dead,” he says as he takes a seat.

“My tailbone is numb,” I confess, making him chuckle.

As I stare up at the stars, I gather my courage. “Is everything okay?”

Panther sighs. “Come sit next to me.”

Without giving it a second thought, I move toward him. As soon as my ass hits the seat, he places his hand on my thigh.

“I feel like a failure,” he blurts out, catching me off guard.

Out of all of the things he could have said, that wasn’t even a guess of mine.

I shake my head. “What? Why?”

“Multiple reasons. This shit with Aspen. Not knowing if she’s okay or not is eating at me.”

“That’s nothing new. We have both felt that way since she was taken. What else?” I push.

He proceeds to tell me about how the Ragged Anarchy hit the bar and rigged it to blow while covering it in gasoline.

“I can’t even keep my brothers safe,” he says as he finishes.

“I…I didn’t see that coming,” I admit to him.

“Neither did I, and it fucking kills me. Those assholes could have killed my brothers and innocents without a fucking care,” he growls, anger in his voice.

“That’s not on you though, Panther. That’s on them. They did it, not you.” I reach over, rubbing his shoulder to offer him whatever comfort I can.

“Yeah, but I should have seen it coming.”

His voice is so small and weak that it scares me.

I’ve never heard him be so vulnerable before.

I like that he is opening up to me, but I don’t like that he feels this way.

He is my big, strong, alpha leader. It only goes to show me that he can’t take the weight of the world on his shoulders without some help.

I turn toward him and rest my arm along the back of the outdoor couch. “Are you a mind reader?”

“What? No.” He shakes his head with a frown.

“Then how could you have seen it coming? I don’t know if you know this, but you are only human. The only actions you are responsible for are your own.”

“I hate feeling like this,” he mutters.

Insecure. He’s feeling insecure.

Taking a deep breath, I take a risk and tell him about my family.

“For most of my childhood, I wondered what I did wrong to chase my parents away. Can you imagine being a child and thinking that your parents don’t love you?

I mean, I know it’s the truth now, but back then, I would have done anything to get their love.

Instead, they would buy me gifts without even caring if I liked them.

They provided money for the house staff to keep me fed and cared for.

” I shake my head. “I was jealous of other children because their families loved them. They might not have the fancy stuff I had, but they went home and had parents helping them with homework. Their parents would chaperone trips or show up to the bake sale. I had no one. No one that ever stayed, at least.”

“That’s rough,” he says, giving me all of his attention.

“I’m not saying this to diminish your feelings.

I’m telling you because we all have our insecurities.

I could have let it overtake me, but I didn’t.

I took what I learned and I made myself better.

I might not be where I want to be, but I know I will get there, and if I ever have a child, I will treat them better than I was treated. ”

He is quiet for a moment. “Why did they have children in the first place?”

I let out a humorless laugh. “Child. They have one. They had me out of obligation. Because when you’re married, it’s expected that you will have kids, not because they actually wanted me.

Hell, my mom shows her pet more love than she ever showed me.

Did you know that she takes Fluffy everywhere they go?

She claims it’s her emotional support dog, but that dog might as well be a purse to her,” I say softly.

“I fucking hate your parents.”

“You and me both. Anyway, that’s my sob story and why I like having a home filled with things. I can’t stand living in a museum. My point is, feel this feeling, but then embrace it and do what you have to so you never have to feel it again.”

He shakes his head. “I’ve never thought about it like that. Don’t get me wrong, my home is my sanctuary. I love knowing that no one can take this place from me. That I’ll never have to move unless I want to, but I never really thought about filling it with anything.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely a minimalist where I’m a maximalist,” I tease.

He smirks. “I can’t wait to see what your place looks like in California.”

“It’s pretty much bursting at the seams.” I smile, thinking about my place.

“My place must have been killing you.”

“You have no idea.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice the girly shit you added while I was gone.” He gives me a small smile.

“I hope it’s okay,” I whisper.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind, and it looks good. Do whatever you want.”

“You really shouldn’t say that to me. Next thing you know, this place will be filled to the brim,” I say, making us both laugh.

I like this. Being with him and being able to talk about anything.

It feels right.

He feels like home.

PANTHER

We fall silent and look out over the yard.

“Did you see that shooting star?” she asks after a few moments.

I look over at her and see a beautiful smile on her face. She looks so fucking happy.

“I must have missed it. Did you make a wish?”

She ducks her head, and I curse myself for not turning on the porch light. If I would have, I could see if she was blushing right now or not.

For once in my life, I want to know each and every little thing about a woman. I want to learn her likes and dislikes. What makes her tick. What makes her happy and sad.

I want to learn it all.

“I did,” she says softly.

I know it shouldn’t, but Maggie telling me about her childhood and how she grew up makes me feel better. It’s nice to know that even people who appear perfect aren’t. We grew up so different, yet we’re alike.

Only we were never supposed to happen. She knows it, and I know it. We have too much shit happening, and the odds are stacked against us. Yet, I want her.

“Do you think if we were in another world, we would be together? That we would have had a chance?” I ask randomly.

Maggie blows out a breath as she thinks about it.

“I…I don’t know.” She pauses. “I would like to think so, though.”

“Yeah?”

My heart rate speeds up.

She nods. “Yeah, I believe in fate. If we were meant to happen, then fate would bring us together. Be that romantically or platonically.”

That sounds nice, but I still don’t understand.

“How can you believe in fate after everything you’ve been through?”

“That’s actually why I believe in it. It’s how I’ve come to terms with everything I’ve been through.

I’d like to think that whatever divine spirit is out there doesn’t put us through things that we can’t handle.

That if I keep just pushing through, overcoming every obstacle, something great will be waiting for me on the other side. ”

“So you’re just waiting for it to happen.”

“Exactly. Just waiting and rolling with the punches as they come,” she says lightly.

This girl.

She’s resilient. That’s for fucking sure.

“Do you think we are supposed to be romantic or platonic?”

She glances over at me with a small smile. “I’m still waiting to find out.”

“Is it wrong that I’m hoping it’s supposed to be romantically involved, because this morning…” I whistle, making her laugh.

She looks back to the sky.

“One thing’s for sure. We have amazing fucking chemistry,” I tease.

Maggie tips her head back and laughs, taking my breath away.

“That we do. That we do. I kind of hated you when you left this morning,” she says as she gets herself under control.

“You and me both,” I mutter, making her smile.

As she stares up at the sky, I look at her. If I could create my dream woman, it would be her.

She’s strong, resilient, and beautiful.

She is the sunshine to my storm.

She is everything I’ve ever wanted, and she’s out of reach.

Or is she?

Reaching over, I take her hand in mine. She doesn’t look away from the sky but squeezes my hand in hers.

“What if…” I trail off.

She looks over at me and smiles. “What if what?”

“What if we are each other’s something better? What if we are supposed to be together?” I ask, taking a risk.

“I would like to think so. I’m scared, but I’m hopeful,” she says softly.

“Me too. Me fucking too.”

She licks her bottom lip. “You know, it’s kind of crazy. Despite everything that’s been going on lately, I’ve never felt more at home than I have since I got here. This place, the community you’ve built, it all just feels right to me.”

I think about how easily she took to riding on the back of my bike.

How quickly she made friends with Rain and the other old ladies.

How the brothers already protect her as if she has been here for years instead of months.

She’s been the one bright thing in my life since she drove through the gate, and I can’t imagine her ever leaving.

The thought of her pointing her car west fills me with dread. It feels wrong. I can’t imagine walking into the clubhouse and not seeing her.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life searching for her in the crowd when she could be right next to me. I don’t want to ever regret not taking the chance and telling her that I want her to stay.

“Then maybe this is exactly where you need to be,” I say softly.

Her breath catches. “Maybe. I hope so.”

“Me too, Magpie, me too.”

The temptation to drag her back into the house and throw her onto my bed and pick up where we left off this morning is strong. I don’t want to rush things, though.

For once in my life, I want things to happen at their own pace.

Claiming Maggie is inevitable. It’s only a matter of time, and I can wait. I feel like our love will be epic. She is worth moving slow and doing things right.

Still, I want her close. I want to feel her body next to mine.

Looking over at her, I see that she’s still looking out at the stars, and an idea takes shape in my head. It’s cheesy, but for some reason, I know she will like it. I hope that she will.

Risking it, I stand, pulling her with me.

“What are we doing?” She giggles.

“Come with me and find out,” I tease.

She follows me off the porch, and I lead her into the front yard, where I lie down.

“What are you doing?” she asks again.

“Lay in the grass with me. Stare at the stars.”

She bites her lip but lies down next to me. She places her head over my racing heart. Reaching down, I pull her leg over so it’s draped over mine. Maggie sighs as she relaxes against me.

“This is nice. Thank you.” She kisses my chest before looking back up at the sky.

As I begin to play with her hair, I can’t help but think about how right this feels.

So fucking right.