Page 100 of Palm South University: Season 2

“And? That’s a personal choice, which means you can change it.”

Jess rolls her eyes, yanking her dress out of the plastic bag forcefully. “He’s about to graduate and have a job. I’m still in college. It’d be weird.”

“Says who?”

“Says me. It’s not like I could bring him to socials or frat parties.”

“Actually, you could. Sisters bring their boyfriends from other schools and stuff all the time. No one would care that he’s a couple years older. You act like he’s fifty.” I grab a pillow and hug it close to my chest, resting my chin on the edge.

“I’d probably hurt him. Or he’d hurt me.”

“Again, that’s a choice. And you could literally hurt anyone around you at any point in time. Need I remind you of Family Weekend?”

“Which is exactly why I need to keep him in the little box I have him in now. He knows what to expect and so do I.”

“Except that he’s not trying to live in that box anymore,” I argue.

“Ugh you’re so exhausting!”

“Well, are you done yet?”

“I’m scared, okay?!” she screams, her hands flying into the air. She holds them there for a moment, her chest heaving, wild eyes searching mine. Finally, she lets them fall, raking her nails back through her messy bun. It falls with the force and she ties it up again before crossing her arms. “I haven’t had a boyfriend since the day I found out why everyone calls me J-Love. I’ve embraced the name, turned it from an embarrassing one to a badass one. Everyone thinks I fall in love too fast and chase guys away? Fine, I’ll makethemfall in love and chaseme, instead. I flipped a switch, Skyler, and I don’t want to go back to where I was before. I was pathetic. I was weak. I was—”

“Normal, Jess,” I breathe, hopping off my bed. “You were a normal girl. We all fall in love, sometimes too fast, sometimes not fast enough. We get reputations, we go for the wrong guys and we survive on heartbreak diets when it all goes wrong. We lean on our sisters and we pick ourselves back up just to do it all over again because if we don’t, what’s the point? It’s okay that you love Jarrett.”

“I—”

“Yes, you do. And you should. What’s more, he should know how you feel because he feels the same way and you guys are just being stupid trying to be together without actuallybeingtogether.”

Her face crumples and she buries it in her hands, standing in the middle of our room, exposed. “I do love him.”

I pull her in for a hug, squishing my cheek to her head. “I know.”

“I’m just so fucking scared.”

“That’s okay, too.”

She sighs, shaking her head against my chest before standing tall again. “He put his feelings out there so easily when I know it wasn’t that easy for him to do. We both thought we knew what we were getting into and somewhere along the way we just . . . I don’t know. We fell deeper.”

“Listen, you’ve spent this last semester hiding him from us while trying to figure it all out on your own. Before that, you were both hiding because he was your teacher. You’ve spent all this time feeling like being together was something to be ashamed of when really it should be celebrated.”

She sniffs, wiping her nose with the back of her wrist. “You’re right. You’re so right. God, he probably feels so fucking rejected right now when really he’s everything I want. He’sallI want.” Her eyes lift to mine. “I’m going to go tell him. Right now.”

“Right now?” I ask as she sprints for her Keds, yanking them on one foot and then the other.

“Yep. Right now.”

“What about formal?”

She laughs as she swings our bedroom door open. “Fuck formal.”

But before she can exit, Erin and Cassie usher in a red-faced, snotty-nosed Ashlei. She’s sobbing, using both my Little and my Big to hold her steady.

“Oh my God, what happened?” Jess asks, dropping the purse she’d just picked up and rushing to help them.

“No idea. I just found her in our room like this,” Erin answers. They help Ashlei into Jess’ bed and she curls up into a ball, pulling the comforter up to her chin, eyes still squeezed shut. Erin sits on the edge of the bed and pets her hair, murmuring soothing words for a while as the rest of us stand around watching, waiting.

Slowly, Ashlei’s cries soften, until she’s not crying at all. None of us push, we just let her take the time she needs. Every now and then when we think she’s going to speak, she closes her eyes tight again and fights back another wave of tears.