41

LEONA

A s soon as we got home from Philadelphia, I crashed. I’d barely made it to bed before my eyes clamped shut and sleep overtook me.

I woke up a few hours later to Cas’s arm slung around my waist, his nose buried in my hair and my back pressed against his chest. I closed my eyes, snuggling back against him. His warmth felt so good. Everything about him settled my restless spirit.

After a few moments of listening to his steady breaths, feeling his heartbeat at my back, I checked my phone to see a text from Wynn from an hour ago.

Wynn: Safe at Willow’s, darling. Getting some rest, then heading back out to wrap up some loose ends.

They’d only just gotten back? How badly had the Albanians seeped into Philadelphia?

Leona: Just woke up. Hope everything went well. Miss you, Wynn. Be safe.

I understood why Fallon had asked for the trade, and I knew he’d take down as many Albanians as he could, but it still didn’t make me feel any better. I missed him. I was worried about him. And I wanted him back.

Then a thought sliced through me. I’d promised Ciel I would sleep in his bed. God, that felt like fucking ages ago. How had it been less than a day? And how could I have forgotten after he’d been processing everything that happened yesterday?

I gently extricated myself from Cas’s arms and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

“Mmm,” Cas groaned, one eye peeking open. “Princess?”

I leaned down to kiss his brow. “Go back to sleep, Caspian.”

He murmured something else in his sleep before he rolled to his back, one arm above his head. My heart swelled in my chest. Cas liked to sleep shirtless, and his exposed chest was always a sweet treat to stare at, but it still felt a little surreal to see him in my bed. So close yet so far for too long, before falling into each other’s arms. So fucking grateful.

I grabbed a change of clothes and took a quick shower. Knowing Ciel, he’d sleep all day but despite the bone-deep exhaustion I felt, I still wanted to be up in case he came to the living room. I wanted to apologize for not keeping my promise, and to make him a new one to make it up to him.

I walked into the kitchen with a yawn, trying but failing to make a mental list of everything we still needed to do. The to-do list was never-fucking-ending, and “defeat Max” was still at the top, circled in red.

My brain felt fried. My body felt like lead.

By the third time I failed to keep a coherent idea of what I wanted to accomplish today, I finally realized.

We needed a rest day.

“ Buenos días ,” a quiet voice said from behind me.

I yelped, spinning on my heel to see Ciel seated at the table with a cup of coffee.

“Ciel,” I said with a laugh, “you scared me.”

“Sorry.”

I poured myself a cup from the warm pot and sat next to him. “What are you doing up already? I thought you’d sleep until tonight, at least.”

He shrugged, clutching his cup resting between his hands. “I can’t get my brain to stop.”

I knew exactly what that felt like. Spinning thoughts, jumping from place to place. Unending.

“Will you tell me what you’re thinking?” I asked. “I’m worried about you, Ciel.”

He rested his forehead on the table. “I just—I am glad he’s dead. My parents can finally rest in peace. But…”

“But?”

“But I thought I’d feel more grounded, not less.”

“You thought it would feel different? To finally kill them?”

He nodded. “And I guess I just don’t understand why it feels more of the same.”

I stood and pulled his body straight so I could slide onto his lap. His hands rested on my hips. “I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you why it didn’t help.”

The truth was, Ciel got the very same revenge I had been looking for, and hearing him say it didn’t feel any different made me nervous. I didn’t need revenge the same way I thought I did before I met the Shadows. Their love, our life together, our visions for our future, were more than enough to help me heal from what Max did to us.

Yet I still feared that when we finally did kill him…I would feel even worse.

With his head resting against my chest, Ciel rubbed his thumb in circles on my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair.

“Did you ever grieve them?”

“I thought I did.” He sighed, breath tickling my neck. “It was so long ago.”

“I’m not sure I ever grieved my dad. Not really.” At first, we were jumping from one life-threatening scenario to the next. And then, once I found out the truth about him, it didn’t feel like he deserved it. But he was still my father. Cuore mio, he’d called me since I was a baby.

Ciel looked up. “You’ve been on the run, and then we’ve been working on our future.”

“I know. Part of me worries it’s all going to catch up with me one day. Hit me like a freight train.” I cupped his cheek. “Maybe that’s what’s happening to you.”

“Maybe,” he murmured. “I just feel like I should be healed. Relieved. I don’t know, fucking something . I just feel numb.”

I leaned forward and kissed him, soft and slow. “Ciel, you are allowed to feel whatever you need to feel. Grieve, process, celebrate, or simply move on. It doesn’t matter. There’s no one right way to handle killing the person who murdered your parents.”

A tiny smile pulled up the corner of his lips. “You mean you haven’t written the manual yet?”

I laughed. “Let’s write it together once we kill Max.”

“Deal.”

Ciel might be the world’s greatest hacker, but he was still human. We all were. Even if it took the rest of my life, one day, I’d convince him of that fact.

He leaned forward and kissed me again, letting his tongue run along the edge of my lip.

“I’m sorry I didn’t sleep in your room last night,” I said against his lips. “I made a promise, and I broke it.”

He smiled a real smile this time, and my heart soared at seeing it return to his face. “It’s fine. You can make it up to me, eventually.”

I knew exactly how I could repay my broken promise. “I have an idea.”

His hand traveled down my leg, and his eyebrow raised in question as I grinned.

“Not that .” I laughed. “I mean, yes, great idea, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

His eyes crinkled. “Well, spill, then.”

“I just decided that today we’re taking a rest day,” I said proudly, sitting up straight.

“A rest day? We have so much to do.”

I knew he was thinking about the information Fallon gave him on the hacker, and the meeting with Giulio, and the VCI board meeting, but all of that could wait for one day.

“Yep,” I said. “Ryuji and Obi are in China. Wynn is helping Fallon. Cas is sleeping. I think we need a day to recover from the non-stop rollercoaster that is our lives. Let’s just post up on the couch with as many snacks as possible. World domination can pick up again tomorrow.”

He considered for a moment. “I am behind on my binge-watching.”

“See? This is a great idea.”

“Breakfast, then shows, and all-day naps.” He sighed wistfully. “Just like the good ol’ days.”

“We can have our phones for emergencies, but no other screens besides the TV,” I said, disentangling myself from his lap. I’d half-expected him to disagree, but some of the tension in his shoulders seemed to bleed away.

“I can’t remember the last time I took a day off,” he muttered. He followed me to raid the pantry. He reached up to the highest shelf, the one I could barely see, and pulled down an entire bag of fun-sized candy bars.

My eyes went wide. “What the hell is that?”

“Obi’s secret stash. He can’t resist, but he refuses to buy them in the big sizes. We go through probably a bag a week.”

“I couldn’t even see those up there!” I said, tearing into the bag, and pulling out my favorite bar with a caramel-covered cookie on the inside.

“Don’t tell him I told you.”

“Our little secret,” I mumbled, mouth full. As I chewed, I pulled out more snacks—chips, popcorn, crackers, even those bland rice cake things Wynn liked to snack on.

“Here.” Ciel handed me some pocky sticks and gummy bears, also hidden on the top shelf.

“What the actual fuck?” I laughed. “Assassins with a sweet tooth.”

As he carried all the snack bags to the living room, I pulled out fruit, cheese, and some leftover cured meats from the fridge. Girl dinner for breakfast.

By the time I carried my plates to the living room, he had all the snacks arranged on the coffee table and was flipping through streaming apps.

“What do you want to watch?”

I shrugged. “You pick what you want to catch up on.”

“What if you haven’t seen it?”

“You know,” I said as I sat on the couch, tucking my legs underneath me, “I’m actually a pretty smart gal. I bet I can figure it out.”

He chuckled and selected some drama. “Okay, then. Let’s start with the intense shows, then we can nap with the comfort shows.”

“Mm, I like that idea.” He clicked it on. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down beside me. “Looks like you’re pretty smart, too.”

Thankfully, I had seen this show, and I knew exactly where he was in the season. I wrapped my hand around his and laid my head on his shoulder. He pulled my legs over his lap.

Ciel hooked his finger around my chin to encourage me to look up. The show played on in the background, but everything else faded.

“Thank you, Leona,” Ciel murmured, sealing his lips briefly against mine. “You were right. We needed this.”

I pulled him back to me. The kiss was lazy and slow, more comfort than arousing. He didn’t try to push it further and neither did I. It was just soft touches, enjoying each other in the safety of our home while we still could. It was our own way of processing the pain we carried.

With each other.

When we broke the kiss, both of us flushed, his ice-blue eyes pierced into mine. Dark circles ringed them, but the exhaustion he’d held earlier had somewhat faded.

“Your eyes are so beautiful,” I breathed. They really did look like the bright blue sky on a clear day.

He glanced away. “My mother’s were the same color.”

I turned his face back to mine. I wanted him to remember the goodness and the joy of the memories he shared with them. His parents loved him so much. “I’m glad you get to carry them for her.”

He pressed a kiss to my forehead. Our bodies molded together as we cuddled on the couch and sweet, relaxing contentment spread through each of my limbs.

Yes, this was exactly what we needed.