Page 11

11

CIEL

“ D on’t,” I said when Cas, Wynn, and Ryuji stood to chase after her. Watching her struggle to understand her feelings had caused a pain so strong in my chest it took my breath away. “Wait.”

The guys turned to look at me. Obi raised an eyebrow, Ryuji stared in disbelief, and Cas’s and Wynn’s faces carried heavy surprise.

“We can’t just let her run away like that,” Wynn said, voice tight. He gestured toward the hallway. “She’s clearly breaking down.”

I knew that. I saw that, but this felt like something I had to do. Standing, I rubbed my clammy palms on my jeans. “I know. Let me.”

Wynn and Cas looked at me like I’d grown an extra head, like there was no way in hell I could do a better job at making her feel better than they could. I shifted my weight from foot to foot. What was I doing? They had more right to help her. She loved them both, and the last time I’d been alone with her, I’d shut her down, and pushed her away. I was probably the last person she needed or wanted to see right now.

But I also knew the expression on her face, the pain that gripped her entire body. I knew, more than anyone else in this room, what it felt like to feel unwanted and alone.

“Please,” I said, trying to infuse confidence into my voice. I fisted my hands at my side. “Just let me have five minutes with her.”

I was there when we watched Volpe say he got engaged last night. I’d heard her gasp. I’d seen her face collapse in despair. The pain on her face had mirrored the same rejection I’d felt my entire life. I didn’t know what I could do to help her, but I knew I had to try. Especially since all I’d done for the last few days was push her away.

Cas ran his hand through his hair, grimacing. He itched to follow her, and I didn’t blame him. He knew her better than any of us.

“Caspian, let’s review the footage,” Obi said calmly. “We may learn more about Volpe’s or Chiara’s motives if we analyze it.”

I waited for Cas’s response, only to see Obi give a slight nod. I breathed out in relief. He was trying to help in his own way.

Cas glanced in my direction with a reluctant sigh. “She just needs someone to listen, Ciel.”

“Thanks,” I murmured.

Wynn collapsed back on the couch, head in his hands, Leona’s pain causing him the same amount of discomfort it caused me. If I failed, I’d come back to get them both.

It didn’t take me long to find her in the library.

She was curled up on the couch with her back to the door, before the filled bookcases. I never spent much time in here, choosing to hole up in my room, but this was one of Obi’s favorite places. When he was home, which wasn’t often, he spent hours at the antique desk. The light filtered through the window and fell on her curled up frame.

She sat up, her eyes locking on me as I kneeled in front of her. Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I was sorry for a lot. For Volpe and her friend. For how I’d shut her down when all she tried to do was make me feel better. I brushed my thumb across her cheek. She closed her eyes, and a single tear trickled down her face.

“I don’t want anyone to see me right now.” Her voice sounded so small and defeated. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”

I nodded. She’d want Wynn or Cas in here before she’d want me. I knew that. But it still stung to hear she’d rather be alone.

“I understand,” I responded quietly. Just a few minutes, just to let her know she wasn’t alone, and then I’d go. “I just…I don’t like to be seen either.”

“Seen? What do you mean?” She sniffled, her gaze searching mine. Another fat tear rolled down her cheek.

“You think I’m shy, but I just don’t like to be seen. To be known.” I sucked in a breath, struggling to gain control over my own emotions. My past seemed to war with my present, and what resulted was a jumble of words that barely made sense. “It’s terrifying. What if someone sees the real you, and still rejects you? What if you’re vulnerable and you get hurt? It’s easier to just hide it all away behind the mask.”

She smiled softly. “My shy hacker.”

I was hers, through and through. She had no idea how much it had meant to me when she said she wasn’t going to disappear, and I could grab onto her just as the others did. I was still trying to figure out how, but I needed her to know she could do the same for me.

“You aren’t alone, Leona. These emotions, what you feel…you aren’t alone,” I murmured, pressing my palms to her thighs. “I see you, and I like you.”

She rubbed a finger underneath her eye to catch a tear. “I see you, and I like you.”

Her laugh quickly morphed into a frown, and she turned her head to the side, away from me, as she buried her face in her hands. My heart twisted. I sat beside her and rubbed her back in soft circles.

“Sorry, I need to get a hold of myself,” she hissed through her fingers. “This is ridiculous. I’m better than this.”

“Hey,” I whispered as I smoothed the hair from her face. “It’s okay. You can cry.”

“I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want anyone to think I’m stupid for being so upset.”

“No one thinks that.” I definitely didn’t. She was so strong. So much stronger than me. She always faced her future head-on, and all I did was run and hide.

She nodded. “Yes, they do. Strong leaders don’t cry. Strong leaders get things done. And then Obi…I know he thinks I can’t handle this, and that’s why he’s taking over. You’re all going to regret this, and I’m just going to get someone hurt.”

My lips thinned. Obi had his own issues to work out, and it had nothing to do with her. And regret this? Despite our setbacks, the four of us hadn’t been so present together in years. We finally had an inkling of connection, of purpose. I wasn’t about to lose that.

“Nobody regrets this. Or regrets you.”

Her breath hitched. “Come on, Ciel. If I don’t get my shit together, all of us will regret it. It’s absolutely ridiculous that I’m so upset he went off and got engaged to someone else. I know that. So why do I feel like used trash? I mean, I have all of you guys, and I know we’re still, like, figuring out this relationship stuff, and I don’t even have feelings for Max anymore. So it makes no sense that I’d feel so discarded. Thrown away.”

“Baby girl…” I knew how she felt more than she realized.

“I can’t stand how stupid I feel, and then on top of that, I can’t stand the idea of all of you thinking I’m stupid and weak and incapable. I wish I could just shut it all down. Be stronger.”

I wrapped my fingers around hers and cleared my throat so the sound would come out strong. “Baby girl, look at me.”

She sniffled, but her teary eyes met mine.

“Let me tell you a story,” I said, heart racing as I prepared to share something I’d never shared aloud before. My voice threatened to die as soon as the words left my lips, but I pressed forward. “I had a boyfriend back in Colombia. He was the only person who made me feel safe, the only person who didn’t judge my speech.

“He was the son of the man who had taken me in after my parents died, and we grew very close. But once judgmental eyes went from me to him, he started to pull away from me. When it became clear that if he associated with me, if people knew we were together, that he’d be treated the same shitty way I was, he was done. He rejected me.” I swallowed, tears pricking at my eyes. I took two deep breaths. “I had never felt so alone in my entire life. For a really long time, I let that rejection stain my relationships with other people. I let the opinions of others dictate what risks I was willing to take.”

She searched my face, squeezing my hand. “I’m so sorry, Ciel.”

“I’m the worst at giving out advice I can’t follow myself, because I built my whole life around what others think of me, but fuck it. Fuck what other people think. You’re allowed to have feelings.” My voice went soft. I swallowed down the rock that had crawled into my windpipe. “Let me be really clear that no one else in this apartment is judging you, but seriously. Fuck what other people think.”

“Fuck what other people think,” she repeated, eyes wide.

“You can be strong and loved just by being yourself,” I told her, hoping I’d take these words to heart myself. Maybe one day, she’d love me just as I was, with all my flaws and fuck ups.

The same way I was starting to love her.

She let out a huge sigh. Her lower lip trembled, but she wiped away a tear. “I…thank you.”

“Let the feelings come out, and then you can move on. And know that, as you do, I’m right here with you.”

“I see you, and I like you,” she said, cupping my cheek.

I smiled, leaning into her touch. “ Yo te veo .”

She took a deep breath, and I wiped her cheeks. “Thanks, Ciel. I’m really glad you’re here.”

I nodded. This was still new territory for me—this idea of speaking all the fears that shadowed my heart. What did she need? What else could I say? Was there anything else I could do?

“Can I give you a hug?”

“Of course.” She exhaled as she slammed into me, arms going around my neck. I didn’t hesitate. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my lap.

I breathed in her scent, letting myself feel the relief, joy, and intoxication of having her body pressed against mine. I might not be as eloquent as Wynn could be, or as strong and steady as Cas seemed to be for her, but damn, I was so relieved she let me talk to her. We were both on this journey together, and just like she made me feel wanted that night in my room, I wanted to make her feel seen and accepted.

“Thanks for finding him, Ciel,” she whispered into my neck. Her breath tickled the skin, sending a shiver through me. “I’m sorry it’s been so difficult.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” I murmured against her skin. “I’ll kill him for hurting you. We all will. I promise.”

Eventually, I’d have a chance to go after him the same way he’d been coming after us, and I was not prepared to lose this fight. I might have had the upper hand last night against the hacker he had on his side, but this was just the beginning. I would be better. I’d rip him to pieces—down to his bones—before I’d let him hurt her again.

She pulled back and nuzzled her nose against mine. “But what if I want to kill him?”

I grinned. “Nobody said only one person needed all the credit. We can take turns.”

She laughed, eyes crinkling at their edges, and in that moment, I needed her more than anything else in the world. I tightened my arms around her and leaned forward to press my lips against hers.

She melted into my touch, letting the slow and heavy kiss overwhelm us both. I was in awe of how she could take complete control of my brain and my body, silencing all the noise that choked me every other breath.

A knock at the door behind us had her pulling away. We stared at each other for a few seconds, flushed and out of breath, before her eyes flicked behind us. “Wynn?”

His hand rested on the doorknob as he took us in, her sitting on my lap and the pink color of her skin. Our eyes locked. Did he want time with her alone? I couldn’t tell what emotion passed over his face before he went to close the door.

“Wynn,” she blurted. I let go of her hips so she could climb off my lap to go to him, but she didn’t move. Instead, her fingers dug into my arm.

Wynn paused in the doorway, but he stayed facing the other direction, not in awkwardness, but in privacy. “Yes?”

“You can go,” I whispered to her. She’d want him right now. I’d had my beautiful share of her in my room, but she wanted him.

She swallowed and looked down at me, a question written on her face.

Was she…was she really asking what I thought she was asking?

When I said nothing, she looked back at Wynn. “Come in. Please.”

His head jerked back in our direction, glancing at me before he looked back to her. “Do you remember what you said to me before?”

She nodded. “I said sharing doesn’t mean you have to take turns.”

My cheeks flared with heat, and my dick went hard under her. Wynn texted us in the group chat that she had said that to him. Fuck, I honestly didn’t believe it. I thought he was just being an ass.

His gaze heated as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. I gulped.

She stretched one hand toward him, and with the other, she grabbed my palm, and replaced it on her hip. “I want you. Both.”

My heartbeat skyrocketed to the fucking moon. For a moment, we all froze in silence. Did Wynn want this, too? Would he be okay with us? With me?

Leona shifted, thighs brushing against my hard-on, and I couldn’t wait anymore. Wynn could choose whatever he wanted, but there was no way in hell I was going to pass this up.

I clamped my mouth on her neck. The sound of her moan must have snapped something inside him. He pounded across the room, threaded his hands through her hair, and crashed his lips against hers.

Her hips ground down against me as my hands slipped under her shirt, caressing the bare skin of her stomach. She moaned into Wynn’s mouth. My thumbs dusted over her chest, her back, everywhere I could touch.

“Shit,” Wynn groaned when he broke their kiss. The two of them were the most beautiful things I’d seen in my twenty-four years of existence—and I realized this was heaven.

It was everything I was too afraid to speak of when I caught them with her hands down his pants in the gym. I couldn’t stop thinking about it afterward, couldn’t stop dreaming of the two of them entwined, and wishing it was me. It wasn’t just her and how fucking beautiful she was. It was both of them.

I wanted to see her with him. I wanted to watch them. I wanted to be with them, together, all of us.

But I was afraid that I’d ruin it, ruin everything like I always did.

I’d told her earlier, fuck what people think , and now, here was my chance to take my own advice. I could stop being so afraid, I could let myself feel, if she would do it with me. If they both would.

“Ciel,” Wynn whispered, never taking his eyes off her. “Let’s make our girl feel good.”

I nodded. Decision made. “Hell, yes.”

“Lay down, darling,” Wynn commanded. He gently plucked her off my lap and set her on the couch. Her legs faced me, with her head cradled in his lap. Her entire face flushed pink as Wynn stripped her bare from the waist up, and then he locked eyes with me. “Take off her pants.”

My brain would have short-circuited and second-guessed every moment of this had he not given direction, and for that, I was forever grateful. I hooked my thumbs into the belt loops of her jeans and pulled them off. Next, with fingers trembling, I pulled off her thong. My nose flared, my breaths uneven, as she was finally, beautifully, achingly naked.

“Wynn,” she groaned as his hands wandered across her skin.

“Stay still for us, okay, darling?” He undid his belt and wrapped it around her wrists. Her eyes went massive before locking with mine, both of us blown away by what was happening. He pulled her bound arms up, looping them around his neck so she lay completely immobile between us.

I watched, entranced, as he reached down, and spread her legs wide.

“Ciel,” he said, eyes ablaze. “Taste her.”

Dios mio . My mouth went dry. I ran my hands down her sides, watching her skin prick with goosebumps. She whimpered when I let my finger travel from her naval down to her glistening entrance.

“You okay with this, baby girl?”

“Oh, God, yes.” She bucked her hips when I brushed one finger through her wetness.

“You’re so fucking drenched,” I breathed.

She was a miracle laid bare before us both. How did I get so lucky?

I licked my lips. With one finger, I gently pushed inside while my thumb pressed on her clit. She strained against Wynn’s neck. He nudged her neck to the side and kissed down the column of her throat.

“ Fuckfuckfuck, ” she hissed when my finger moved inside her.

My entire body was taut with desire. I wanted to fuck her so badly. I wanted to taste her, to make her come undone on my tongue, just like Wynn commanded.

With the pads of my thumbs, I spread her open and descended on her.

“Oh, Ciel, yes,” she breathed as I licked all the way up her pussy. Her legs trembled. I groaned against her, allowing myself to enjoy this. Not just eating her out on the couch with Wynn’s fingers pinching and twisting her nipples so hard she ground against my face, but this idea —that it was actually possible to be happy and loved and accepted exactly where I was.

She wanted me just as I wanted her.

I flicked my tongue around her clit, pressing my finger inside her again, and her body began to shake. Her thighs clenched around my head.

“Does that feel good, darling?” Wynn murmured in her ear. He continued teasing her nipples. I pulled her even closer to my face. “Do you like having Ciel between your legs?”

“ Yes . So much.”

“Do you want to come?”

“Yes, please, Wynn. Please let me come.”

“You can come when Ciel tells you to,” he said, voice dark and heady with pleasure. I glanced up and met his gaze. He looked fucking hungry , watching me devour our girl like the finest dessert. “Only then.”

“Please, Ciel,” she whined.

Dios, Wynn was into edging?

Fuck, this was so fucking hot.

Leona rolled her hips around my face, trying to get the friction just right. I pulled away, and she whimpered. Wynn’s eyes shined as he watched.

Part of me wanted to fist my hand in Wynn’s shirt and pull him to my lips while Leona was stretched between the both of us. He could taste her while I tasted him. It was hazy and delicious, this lust. I needed more.

I worked her up and pulled away a few more times. She gasped and writhed. Wynn sucked her neck, his own sounds of arousal like music to my ears. I couldn’t wait to see those hickeys tomorrow.

“ Ciel, ” she whined. Oh, how sweet my name sounded on those lips. She panted, her heady eyes begging me to let her get off. Wynn was so right—edging was an incredible kind of magic.

“Come, baby girl.” I latched my mouth onto her clit, pumping two fingers inside. Fevered whispers spilled from her mouth while her body shook around us both. Her orgasm crashed over her so hard I thought she might pass out, and it was almost enough to send me over the edge.

“Holy fuck,” Wynn whispered as she went limp in our arms.

“Goddamn.” She sighed before she smiled. “Heaven is real, and it’s right here between you two.”

“I’ve never tasted something so delicious. Seen something so beautiful.” The words fell from my lips uninhibited. I licked my lips, savoring the taste of her. “I could plant myself between your legs for hours and never be satisfied.”

Wynn’s eyes widened. “Wow.”

Leona laughed softly.

“What?” I asked.

“Ciel comes alive during sex.” Wynn grinned.

I met his smile with one of my own. He’s so pretty .

“I just—” I swallowed.

“We love it, Ciel,” Leona reassured, eyes drifting closed. “Don’t overthink it.”

Wynn went to undo his belt from her wrists, but she opened her mouth and then hesitated.

“Wait,” I said to Wynn. “What were you going to say, Leona?”

She ducked her head against her arm. “Nothing. It’s not a big deal.”

“Are you hurt?” I asked, alarm tightening my throat.

“No, no, not at all.” She stretched her fingers and then sighed again. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s okay, baby.” I brushed the hair from her face. “You can tell us what you want. There’s no judgment here.”

“I want more,” she whispered with a look between us.

Oh, hell yeah. Wynn’s heated gaze said the same thing. If she wasn’t done, we were nowhere near done.

“Tell us what you want, darling,” Wynn said. “Belt on or off?”

“Off.”

He quickly undid it and dropped it to the floor.

“Clothes on or off?”

She grinned. “Off.”

“All of us?” His eyes flicked to me for a second and then back to her. “You’re in charge now, darling.”

She reached down to undo the buckle on my pants, and I thought I might choke on my tongue when her hands ducked inside and brushed against my cock. “All of us.”

Quickly Wynn and I shed our shirts and pants, clothes flying around the library, getting caught on Obi’s desk and bookshelves, until all three of us were naked.

“Where do you want us?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level. I was already moving away to make room for Wynn between her legs.

She grabbed my hand. “Ciel,” she whispered, gaze as hot as lava. “I want you in my pussy.”

I almost choked on my breath, glancing up at Wynn, and expecting to find him mad, but all I saw was desire and heat surging. His cheeks were just as flushed as hers, the two of them the most beautiful shade of pink.

“Wynn,” she murmured, turning to him. He leaned forward and took her mouth in a kiss so fucking hot it set my skin on fire.

“Yes, darling?”

He hissed when her hand snaked down to wrap around his dick. “I want you in my mouth.”

“ Mierda,” I breathed as I lined myself up at her entrance. I couldn’t wait. “You ready, baby? You ready to take us both?”

“Yes, please,” she whimpered, still stroking him up and down.

“You want us to make you scream so the others hear what they’re missing out on?” Wynn asked, threading his hands through her hair and tilting her head back. “Come on our cocks while they listen.”

“Fuck, Wynn,” I groaned, rubbing my aching cock against her to get it wet and ready. “Who knew you had such a dirty mouth?”

Leona grinned. “Isn’t it great?”

“It’s so fucking great,” I whispered as I finally pushed inside in one firm thrust.

She gasped as I spread her walls, and she sucked me in greedily until I was fully sheathed inside.

“Leona. Leona. ” I murmured her name over and over like a chant, pulling back slowly, and then pushing back inside. “Fuck, baby. You’re so fucking tight.”

“She’s perfect,” Wynn breathed against her mouth as he took her in another kiss. Her hand still stroked him, whether consciously or not, matching the pace of my thrusts with the movement of her hands. “So perfect. You’re going to come for us again, aren’t you, darling?”

“Please, yes,” she whimpered as I picked up the pace. “Ciel, you feel so good.”

My throat constricted, so instead of answering, I dug my fingers into her thighs. Her curves were delicious . I lifted one of her legs to deepen my thrusts, and her hand stuttered on Wynn’s cock.

“Oh, my God,” she gasped. “Wynn, please, I need you.”

“You want me to fill your mouth with my cock, darling?” He repositioned so she could turn to take him in her mouth. I tilted her hips to the side to give her more space.

“ Fuck.” This new angle almost made my head explode. I was going to come so hard, but not before we’d made her shatter again. I rubbed her clit in firm circles, watching exactly how she tightened around me, before she arched with a gasp, closing her eyes.

“I’m coming. Fuck ,” she whimpered, clutching to me and Wynn, holding onto us both for dear life. The orgasm passed through her and I watched in awe as she closed her mouth around Wynn’s cock. With one hand, he clasped the back of her head to thrust into her mouth, and with the other, he tipped her head up so she could lock eyes with him.

“You look so beautiful with both our cocks inside you,” he said, awe coating his voice. “So, so beautiful. You can take us, and then you can take even more with our brothers.”

“Fuck,” I groaned, trying to hold off my own orgasm. Dirty mouth Wynn was definitely just as hot as being buried to the hilt inside Leona’s warm pussy.

Was I dead? Asleep in my room? There was no way this was real.

My hands tightened around her waist while I leaned down to press quick, feverish kisses all over her chest. I could barely hold myself back as Wynn fucked her mouth. She rode us both out like a fucking champion, clamping her eyes shut and whining, panting, gasping as another orgasm tore through her body.

“Come, baby, come for us,” I whispered. Her fingernails dug into the backs of Wynn’s thighs. And holy shit. That was what did it.

“Leona,” I groaned, spilling inside her. I collapsed over her chest as my brain recovered from the most intense orgasm of my life. I needed her, forever, always, with everything I had. She was ours, and we were hers, and there was no going back.

“Swallow for me, darling,” Wynn said, grunting shortly after, hand clasping in her hair. She took every drop without complaint, gaze hungry and heated. He brushed his fingers against her cheeks when he pulled out, then he bent down, and kissed her softly. “Perfect.”

She sighed with a smile, head falling against the couch in contented, post-orgasm bliss. I pulled her up, wrapped her arms around my neck, and let her collapse against my chest.

“Rest, baby girl,” I murmured. I pressed soft kisses to her hair, her forehead, anywhere I could touch. “You were amazing. You did so well for us.”

She shivered, her legs tightening slightly against me in the same moment a moan flitted from her lips.

“Oh?” I asked. “Someone likes the praise?”

Over her shoulder, I locked eyes with Wynn, and he grinned.

“What a good girl,” he said in her ear, pressing his chest against her back. Her heart thundered against the bare skin of my chest. “You took both of our cocks so well. Magnificent.”

“No. You guys were amazing. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.”

Wynn pulled his pants back on and then crouched beside her. His eyes met mine warmly. “Nothing will ever change the way we want you.”

“Nothing.” I kissed her cheek. “ Te veo. ”

“I see you, and I like you.” She released a deep sigh before she curled into my side. “I’m exhausted. We need to sleep.”

Wynn stood, extending his hand to her. “Come on. We can go to my bed.”

I shucked on my pants and then helped Wynn pull on Leona’s panties and shirt. He draped his arm around her shoulders and directed her to the door. I hung back.

“Ciel,” Wynn said, “are you coming?”

I blinked. They wanted me to come, too?

I opened my mouth to say they didn’t have to worry about me, but Leona wiggled her fingers. “Come on, babe. We can debate whose bed is comfier after we get a few hours of sleep.”

My throat went tight as I linked my fingers with hers.