Page 12

The morning came and went in a blur. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jaydon’s surprise visit all day. What the hell is his angle? He fucks around with my sister but still wants to fuck with me as well. Not fucking happening. I was flustered all day trying to figure out how to keep my mind off him.

He’s like a drug, and I’m addicted.

So, I texted Kevin during my break and asked him if he wanted to go out to dinner tonight.

We decided to go to the cute little Italian restaurant downtown near Sprinkles café.

He was gone all last week for work, and we have only talked on the phone a few times since he got back into town.

I wouldn’t say we are official, but hopefully, we are moving in that direction.

He told me he wanted to pick me up, so I’m sitting in my room waiting for his text. I told him to text me when he got here so I don’t have to go downstairs and possibly run into my sister. I’m checking my phone, expecting him to be here by now, when the doorbell rings.

Fuck. That’s probably him.

I quickly grab my coat and crossbody and rush down the stairs. But when I get there, my sister is at the door, about to let him in.

“I got it.” My bitchy tone is hard to miss.

She spins, eyeing my outfit, “Oh… got a date tonight? Who’s it with?”

“That’s none of your business.” I snap, pushing past her.

But of course, she looks through the window, trying to figure it out. Just when I’m about to open the door, she continues.

“Oh, never seen him before…” She turns to me, smirking, a glimmer of spitefulness in her eyes.

I don’t feel like playing her stupid games tonight.

“Hmmm… well, now you have.”

She probably wants to fuck him too.

“I might just see you out tonight. Jaydon and I are going to dinner as well.” She hurries the last part in .

Fucking great. I’m trying to get Jaydon off my mind, and she continues to throw shit in my face. She knows I’ve always had a crush on him. I don’t understand why he even came to see me at work today and made all the fucking panty-melting comments, just to go out and fuck around with my sister.

Fuck them both.

“Goodbye…”

I huff my response as I step out the door, slamming it shut behind me.

I force a smile when I see Kevin.

“Hey, you look beautiful.” He hands me a small bouquet of flowers.

Now, my smile is real. “Aww, thanks. That’s so sweet of you.”

I would normally take them inside and put them into a vase with water, but my sister is in there, and I don’t want her to ruin my mood… once again.

Conversation at dinner has been flowing freely. However, it almost feels a little awkward. I just can’t quite figure out why. Actually, no, I’m pretty sure it’s him .

He’s awkward.

I’m not giving up on us, at least not yet.

This is the first time Kevin and I have truly sat down and talked.

Our conversations have never gotten too in-depth until tonight.

But tonight feels like a step towards something more, and I’m trying—really trying—to see if there could be something real here.

We met one night when I was out dancing with some of my girlfriends. He bought me a drink, and we’ve been texting or talking every few days since then. It’s been slow… easy. And while the pace has been nice, it also means we barely know each other.

The ambiance at the restaurant is so relaxing. The lights are dimmed, and candles are lit in the center of every table. It's pretty romantic for a first date—maybe too romantic, but Kevin picked it, and I don’t mind because I love the food here.

Most of the time when we’ve hung out, it was just grabbing a quick bite or dancing at a crowded club, where the music drowned out any real chance to talk and connect.

He travels a lot for work, so our time together has been limited.

He’s definitely different tonight, though. Quieter. Tense. It almost seems like he’s worried about something. I don't know. I probably make him nervous with all my craziness. Maybe he just needs a drink to take the edge off and loosen up.

Normally, I’m a free spirit—a go-with-the-flow kinda girl. But now? Well, now I have so much shit to worry about.

We talked a bit more about my current situation and how I need to find a place to stay in the next two weeks. He said he was sorry that he couldn’t offer me any help, and I didn’t expect him to.

I told him all about how my sister was currently making my life a living hell, but I carefully left out the details of her fucking around with Jaydon behind my back. That’s a secret I’m not ready to unpack, especially not with him.

I don’t want Kevin to get the wrong idea about why Breanne and I are truly at each other’s throats.

Overall, he seems like a genuinely nice guy, maybe a little too good to be true, but a girl can only hope.

God knows I always have the worst luck when it comes to men.

I quickly down the last of my rosé wine.

Kevin insisted we celebrate our first dinner date with a drink.

It’s not as sweet as the normal rosé I drink, but it will do for tonight.

I needed that glass after the shitty day I’ve had.

And it seemed to help him relax a bit. I guess he did need that little bit of alcohol to help his nerves and calm him down.

“Would you like to get dessert?” He eyes me.

“Oh, no thanks… I’m stuffed,” I say with a hand on my stomach.

“I don’t think I could eat anymore if I tried.

But if you want something, I don’t mind sitting a bit longer to talk.

” The unhealthy alfredo pasta I devoured mixed with my glass of wine is doing unkind things to my stomach, and now I’m thankful I wore a flowy dress instead of my skintight jeans.

“No, I’m good as well… I’m ready to head out. Let me grab the check, and we can go.”

He casually offers me his arm when we stand from our seats. Accepting his gesture, I wrap mine through his and link arms, and he guides me through the restaurant with a little more confidence than when we first arrived.

I grab his bicep with my free hand once we get to the parking lot, mostly to steady myself on the uneven brick, but secretly wanting to feel his muscles.

Eh, I’m not impressed .

I know that's such a fucked-up thing to do, but I just can't help but want a nice set of arms on a man. The feel of his closeness doesn’t turn me on; his warmth is radiating into me, but I’m not excited by his touch—not the way I am when Jaydon touches me.

He sets my insides on fire… Kevin doesn’t. Not yet, anyway.

Being the arm whore that I am, I couldn’t help but notice his arms aren’t quite as big as Jaydon’s either.

Dammit, why am I still thinking about that asshole?

I already know the answer, though—the arms on that man drive me fucking wild. And I can’t shake the thoughts of him from my head.

We have been riding in an awkward silence since leaving the restaurant. I thought dinner went pretty well, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe he decided he’s not interested in me, and to be honest, I’m not sure I’m all in with him yet, either.

Maybe I’m just pushing myself to have something with someone because I want to get Jaydon off my mind. Constant thoughts of him and his cockiness—his hard as fuck body—roll through my mind on a daily basis. His fucking tatted-up arms, veins popping, just do things that I can’t explain.

I’m an arm whore and I know it .

I get wet between my thighs just thinking about his thick fucking forearms. I mean, look at me—I’m currently on a date with another man, and Jaydon is invading my thoughts.

Maybe Kevin is doing the same thing as me, thinking of another woman in his silence.

Who the hell knows? My mind is always running wild.

This is what silence does to me—my crazy ass imagination always gets the best of me.

We are quickly approaching my street, but Kevin doesn’t slow down.

Thinking maybe he forgot where to turn, I blurt. “The turn is right up here.”

“Oh, uh… yeah, I know. I thought maybe you wanted to come back to my place. Maybe we could open another bottle of wine and talk some more… or whatever.”

Ugh… I know exactly what he wants, and I’m not feeling it.

My brain is going haywire with thoughts of Jaydon, and yeah, I’m wet between the thighs, but it’s not for Kevin.

And I’m not going to just fuck him for the hell of it.

I wanted to take my time and really get to know him.

To see if we could really have something together.

I need to let him down gently. I don’t want him to think that I’m not interested in him.

I’m just not feeling the connection yet that I need to be intimate with him .

“Uh, thanks, but not tonight. I have to be up super early in the morning for work. I would love to some other time, though.”

He huffs a laugh. “Ah, I see… I’m just not like those other guys you normally date.” His laugh is bitter with disappointment.

I’m taken aback by his comment. What the fuck is he talking about? Those other guys, what the fuck does that mean? He’s kinda struck a nerve. Is he insinuating something about me? Has he heard something about me?

He slows the car and pulls into a gravel drive. Then, putting the car into reverse, he turns around.

Hopefully to take me home.

“What are you talking about? I’m honestly confused by that comment.” And it also kinda hurts, to be honest.

“Ah, nothing, it's fine. I just thought—never mind… I’m taking you home.” His tone makes me think otherwise.

“You thought what, Kevin?” I stare at him, astounded, even though it's dark and I’m sure he can’t see me. “That I normally just go home with guys after dinner?” I huff in annoyance.

“No, no… Ellie, that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry you thought that. I just thought you might like to go back to my place with me and watch a movie or something, but it’s fine. I realize you need to be up early in the morning. So, it’s all good… Everything is fine. ”

I take a minute to process his words. His tone and actions do not match his so-called thoughts, and his comment about other guys still bothers me. Everything is really not fine, but I’ll give him a pass this time because I just want to get home.

“Okay, if you say so… just please take me home.”

The ride the rest of the way back to my house is silent.

My mind keeps racing with thoughts of what he actually meant with his earlier comment.

I have no idea what the hell happened; he seems off tonight.

It’s so fucking weird. Maybe he’s stressed about work—I don’t fucking know.

I don’t even know why I’m trying to make excuses for him in my head.

We finally pull into my driveway a short while later, and the car comes to a stop. However, he doesn’t stop the engine like I thought he might. I look over at him to say goodbye, but he’s staring straight ahead. His silence is all I need to make my decision, and I take that as my cue to get out.

I reach for the handle—screw saying goodbye—when he suddenly speaks. “Ellie, please wait…” He reaches over to my side and wraps his hand lightly around my wrist.

I take a deep breath, calming myself, then turn my head towards him and wait for him to speak.

He bows his head for a second before speaking. “Listen, about earlier… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ha ve said what I said, and I would like to make it up to you sometime soon. If you’ll let me.”

I need a minute to process his words.

Do I really want to continue this with him?

I’m pissed, but I need a distraction from Jaydon.

I need someone to keep my mind occupied and stop all the thoughts of the sexiest fucking asshole I’ve ever met.

So, yeah, I guess I will give him another chance—not for him, but for myself.

I need this distraction, and who knows, maybe everything will turn out all right.

Maybe I will eventually let him take me back to his place, and he can give me all the pleasure he wants. Hopefully, the sexual attraction will come with time. At least I fucking hope so, but I’m just not there yet.