Page 37 of Only a Gemini Will Do
Soleil opened the door for me and helped me into the car like I was a glass egg. I sat inside, staring out the window with glassy eyes as she drove us back to my place. The further we got, the smaller the courthouse became in the rearview mirror.
Soleil twisted her neck to me when she stopped at a red light. “Okay, so I’m pretty sure your flabbers are just as fuckin’ gasted as mine are right now, so I think we should take the rest of the day to have a sister spa date before my flight leaves this evening.”
I shrugged. “Can we just go home? I don’t feel like being around a lot of people,” I said quietly.
She shook her head. “Absolutely not. I’m way too fabulous to be sitting in the house. We haven’t left your little funky ass apartment since Christmas, Sawyer. And going outside to walk your little menace of a fur baby does not fucking count, okay? Did I tell you he woke me up at four o’clock this morning, scratching at the damn door like he’d lost his mind? I handed his ass the leash and told him to walk himself.”
A faint laugh slipped past my lips. It was the first joyful sound I’d made in days.
Soleil grinned. “There’s my sister. I was afraid you’d gone full King’s Guard on me. I haven’t seen you crack a smile in at least a week.”
I wiped my tears. “What’s the point in smiling?”
“I know shit is far from sweet right now, but you’ve got a hell of a lot to smile about. You’re carrying a life inside you. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, a sexy ass older sister who will fight whoever, whenever for you and my niece, and a lil demon dog who thinks he’s royalty. You don’t need permission to fall apart, Sawyer. You just can’tstayin pieces.”
“I’m carrying this nigga’s baby, and he’s behind bars. Probably forever. And I don’t know what will happen next. I’m shaking in my fucking UGGs, Soleil.”
We rode in silence for a few seconds. Then Soleil tapped the steering wheel. “Are you going to wait for him?” she inquired.
I paused. I’d been so consumed with my grief that I hadn’t ventured out on the other side to think about what the distant future held.He came back for me once. Maybe he’d do it again. But how long would I wait? What if another man came along who was good to me and my daughter? Would I let him go? Would Kareem really expect me to wait?
I shook my head, trying to untangle my thoughts physically. “I don’t know,” I answered. “Maybe things aren’t meant to be.”
“Don’t say that.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Why not? That’s how I feel right now. You were right there in the courtroom with me. There’s no light at the end of this tunnel.”
“If it’s meant to work out, it will. Even when it feels like you’re in the middle of a storm, everything is working for the good of you and the baby. I promise.”
I scoffed. “If you say so.”
“I thought you said you were God’s favorite. Your ol’ Easy Bake Oven head ass better start acting like it,” she teased.
I cracked another half-smile before releasing a hard sigh. “You’re right,” I confirmed, even though I hated to admit it.I had to keep my spirits up for the baby and hold on for the ride.
“Listen, I’m one toxic nigga away from a face tat myself, so I don’t need to be handing out unsolicited advice, but what I will say is . . . as much as I don’t want my sister dating nobody unhealed nappy headed son, I don’t get those vibes from Kareem. Now, mind you, my judgment may be skewed since we weren’t even around each other for a full twenty-four hours before everything hit the fan, but vibes are vibes, Sawyer. And they don’t lie.”
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“If you don’t want to do a spa day, can we at least hit up some baby stores so I can start to spoil my niece? I’ve got serious baby fever, but like, in a cool rich auntie way.”
“Rich where? You’re a teacher.”
She rolled her eyes. “Did I say funds, ho? Maybe I meant rich in heart. Rich in spirit. Rich in love.”
I giggled. “So, your idea of motherhood is being an aunt?”
“Basically.”
“Wow.”
“But as the parent, that’s what you want—someone to give them cookies and fight their bullies and buy them inappropriate onesies.”
“Why do I want any of that?”
“Because it’s cool, Sawyer. It’s cool.”
Each time I giggled, my chest felt a little less tight. A little less burdened. The highway stretched ahead of us, but for the first time since Christmas, it didn’t feel like I was headed straight toward a dead end.