Page 17 of Only a Gemini Will Do
Neesh agreed with a nod. “That part. Next year, I want a pie to myself.”
“Well, shit, let me go ahead and place my preorder now too,” Brit added.
Inside the kitchen, the smell of mac and cheese, meatballs, candied yams, collard greens, and sweet potato pie had all come together in one delicious soul food aroma. Brit was at the stove fluffing up the stuffing, Neesh was in the corner sipping her glass of wine and pretending she wasn’t sneaking meatballs from the crockpot while I arranged the table.
“The food is almost done, y’all. It should be about another fifteen minutes,” Kaneesha announced as she pulled her tray of baked mac and cheese out of the oven. “And look, I didn’t burn the top too badly this year. I call that growth.”
I watched her proudly set it on the table.
Brit giggled. “It’s about time you grew out of calling everything you burn Cajun because it’s not. It’s just nasty, friend.”
“Whatever.” Kaneesha rolled her eyes before plopping down into a seat around the table and scrolling through her phone. “Oh shit,” she mumbled.
“What?” I quizzed, stopping to stare at her.
“So . . . not to bring down the vibes by bringing up old shit, but did anyone see what Lawrence posted on IG a few hours ago?” Kaneesha quizzed.
“No, but if he doesn’t have his fat ass head stuck in a deep fryer instead of a turkey, then I don’t wanna know,” I replied coldheartedly.
Lawrence was my cheating ex, and the reason I didn’t trust a Gemini as far as I could throw them. Although Kareem had proven himself to be different, I was still dealing with the residuals of my last failed relationship, and it had been over a year and a half.
“I’m afraid it’s worse than that, friend. He’s engaged,” Neesh announced.
Brit’s eyes popped wide, and so did her mouth. “Engaged? To who? His mirror? Because nobody, not even his mother, loves that cheating ass bum more than he loves himself.”
“If this nigga is getting married, it just makes me feel like at this point, I’ll probably meet an extraterrestrial before I meet my husband.”
Brit scoffed. “Like, God, if You ran out of faithful servants, then just say that. Because who the hell would agree to marry a nigga that shares his dick like an all you can fuck buffet?”
“I know, right? And had the nerve to caption that shit saying hefound his forever.Nigga bye.”
Brit’s face soured as she rolled her eyes. “Forever? I think he means for the moment. His ass couldn’t commit to a gym membership, let alone a marriage. I give that shit three months, tops.”
Neesh snickered before turning to me, quietly observing. “You’re pretty quiet over there.”
“What is there for me to say? I’m good over here. I’m glowing, and he’s waking up every morning to spray on his hairline. It’s a beautiful day in my fuckin’ neighborhood,” I stated plainly, managing to keep my cool.
Brit’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “I know that’s right! Fuck that nigga and his bald-headed mama too.”
Kaneesha raised her wine glass. “I don’t argue with the truth.”
“And can we get an amen and two snaps for the grown woman evolution! I’m proud of you, Sawyer,” Brit acknowledged before snapping her fingers twice.
Kaneesha nodded. “Hell yeah. You leveling up like Ci-Ci, boo. Meanwhile, cheater, cheater pumpkin eater is out here proposing with a ring that probably came from a bubblegum machine.”
I laughed while subtly adjusting my oversized cardigan to make sure my belly remained hidden until after dinner. “What about you, Neesh? How are things with Jamir?”
She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Ugh. It’s over. Finito. In the trash.La basura.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “What? Why? Y’all were good just a few weeks ago. What the hell happened that fast?”
“Keyword iswere,” she said, pausing for dramatic effect. “I caught this nigga looking at midget porn, y’all.”
Brit and I traded glances before bursting out laughing. “I’m sorry, what?” I snickered.
“Yeah. I’ma need you to run that back for me one more time.”
Kaneesha sighed. “Y’all laughing like y’all not shorties like me. I’m five feet even. That shit had me paranoid as hell, like, is that why he was with me?”