Page 15

Part G

“Truly, Madly, Deeply”

May

“Good evening and welcome to Meymandi Concert Hall and your North Carolina Symphony in concert. Please take a moment to silence all electronic devices and remember that no flash photography is allowed during the performance. Now sit back, relax and enjoy the concert.”

The familiar announcement before any symphony concert played over the speakers. I was sitting in my usual seat in the concert hall in the upper balcony. But, instead of my dad sitting next to me, I saw the faceless woman sitting in his seat. I gasped and felt my heart start to race. Why was she sitting next to me? Were we on some kind of date?

She muttered something unintelligible right as the concert master began to tune the symphony. I tried to ask her what she said, but still couldn’t hear or understand her. We listened intently to the concert as they began to play a piece I couldn’t name.

Throughout the whole concert, I kept feeling like something was missing. I thought, at first, I was just missing my dad, but I could tell it was more than that. I looked around me, but all the seats were filled with other people. I scanned the stage and noticed an open spot on the right side of the symphony. There was a chair in the cello section, but no one sitting in it. Maybe someone was sick, and they couldn’t find anyone to fill in for them.

After the show, we walked to a coffee shop and sat at a table in front of the window. We drank our beverages in alternating silence or more muttered musings I couldn’t understand. Even though it was strange, and I couldn’t understand what she actually said at all, I felt like I knew her and trusted her. I was growing very fond of her.

* * *

“Are you sure you have everything?” Abby asks for the fourth time as we head out the door on the way to Nate & Isaac’s engagement party. She’s been more than a little bit stressed since taking this on mostly by herself—even though I helped her as much as she’d let me—and I will never hear the end of it if I forget anything we’re meant to bring.

I check my tote bag for what feels like the hundredth time this week. Laptop, check. USB with photos and videos of the two of them, check. Tiny projector, check. Various cables and cords to hook everything together, check. Notecards for my speech, check. “Yes, I am positive I have everything. Do you have your speech?”

She checks her tote bag, which is no doubt filled with more than we could possibly need for this dinner party, and gives me a thumbs up.

“Great. Let’s go,” I say walking toward the front door.

“Wait!” she exclaims running back toward her room. “I forgot the bag with the party favors.”

I sigh. “I thought we decided not to do party favors.”

Abby comes back from her bedroom hoisting a bag above her shoulder. “Got it! And, yes, I know we said we weren’t going to do them, but I got this great deal on personalized M&M’s, and I couldn’t pass that up. They’re so cute and you know how much Isaac loves M&M’s.” She pulls out one of the tiny bundles from the bag to show me.

“When did you have time to put these all into individual bags?” I ask thinking back over the last couple weeks and having no recollection of her doing something like this. “I would have helped you, you know.”

“I know, but it didn’t take very long. I actually did them on my day off last week while you were at work.”

I examine the little bundle and see Isaac and Nate’s faces printed on the chocolate candies. “They really are cute. Although some of them came out a little weird.”

She nods. “Yeah, I know. Some of them are a little wonky with smooshed faces and such, but they’re still cute.”

I put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “They are, and I’m sure the guys will love them. Now, can we go? If we don’t leave soon, we’re going to be late.”

* * *

When we arrive at Caffé Luna, there’s a flurry of activity getting the private room set up for us. Abby is off directing and instructing—politely, I might add—everyone so that it’s all perfect for when Nate and Isaac arrive. I busy myself with setting up the laptop and projector so that will be all ready to go when Abby gives the signal. Why she didn’t become a party planner when it was something she always said she’d love to do, I’ll never know, but considering I changed my career in the last few years, there’s still time if she still wants to pursue it. I’m sure her parents would hate that even more than her working in property management, but it’s her life.

As the time gets closer to Nate & Isaac’s arrival, guests start to arrive and they all take their seats, leaving the two center seats at the long banquet table for the guests of honor. The restaurant did such a great job with decorations and the place settings, and everyone is having a great time.

At six-thirty on the dot, Nate’s sister, Sophia, pops her head in to say the boys are on their way in. Sophia was tasked with getting them here under the pretense that she and her friend, Adam, were taking them out for dinner to celebrate their engagement—which was mostly true.

“Okay, everyone, showtime,” Abby stage-whispers.

We all take our seats, and Abby turns out the lights while we wait for them to walk in the door. I feel like my heart is pounding in my throat, I’m so excited with the anticipation. Soon enough, though, we hear Nate say, “I thought this room was for private parties only,” as the door is flung open and we all yell, “Surprise!”

Nate’s arms fly around in shock and he nearly knocks his fiancé over. Isaac, meanwhile, is smiling like he knew all along we were planning this party. Everyone cheers, and Nate and Isaac take bows.

Nate walks over to me and waggles his finger. “Do we have you to thank for this?”

I sort of shake my head noncommittally. “Partially, but it was Abby’s idea.”

“Abby,” Nate says in a warning tone walking toward her. “What have I told you about surprise parties?”

Abby doesn’t miss a beat and replies, “Nothing. You’ve never mentioned surprise parties to me, ever.”

“Oh.” He shrugs like he didn’t expect that answer at all, then continues, “Well, I would have said that I love them!”

He wraps Abby in a bear hug, then they start wiggling back and forth, which eventually devolves into them holding hands, jumping up and down. Isaac looks at me seriously for a moment, then grabs my hands and we start doing the same until we’re all jumping and laughing.

“Speech, speech!” someone calls out, then starts everyone else to tapping their utensils on their glasses.

Nate looks at his fiancé, and Isaac nods. He steps behind the chair with his name card at the center of the table. “Thank you all so much for being here to help us celebrate our engagement. We couldn’t be happier to be getting married and to share our joy with our closest friends and family.” He picks up his glass, even though there’s nothing in it at the moment, and raises it high.

A young server who looks like he couldn’t be more than fifteen, but who is also totally on point, runs over and fills it with champagne. The other waitstaff start filling everyone else’s glasses with their choice of champagne or sparkling cider.

“Thank you,” Isaac says to the server. To everyone else, he proclaims, “A toast! To true love in any form and the people who support you no matter what.”

Everyone echoes the toast happily and clinks glasses with those around them before drinking some of their chosen beverage. I clink my glass with Nate and Isaac, then turn to Abby to do the same, and there’s this unexplainable feeling I get when I look at her. We see each other all the time now that we’re roommates, but it’s more than that. It’s like I’m being drawn to her. Or more like propelled toward her. She and I have been friends for so long that these feelings almost feel like a betrayal of that friendship. Like my heart is trying to overstep the boundaries and forgetting that the unwritten rules of friendship shouldn’t be broken.

These dreams are driving me crazy because I cannot see the face of the person in them, and up until a couple weeks ago, the person was neither male nor female. Now, though, they are definitely female and the feeling that Abby could be the one in the dreams is so strong. Especially since that night at the symphony when I saw the faceless one morph into her as I closed my eyes. I keep thinking I should talk to her about all of this, especially since she already knows about the dreams, but the right moment hasn’t presented itself.

“Alright, everyone, let’s take our seats because the dinner is about to begin,” Abby announces, and I realize I’ve been staring at her this whole time. Knock it off, Clare, or she’s going to think you’re insane . Just as I go to tear my eyes away from her, she’s looking right back at me. Oh no! Play it cool . I give her a little wave, even though we’re standing right next to each other. Smooth. I’m sure she doesn’t suspect a thing. She raises an eyebrow, then gestures for me to go first toward our seats.

We sit across from the happy couple, and the grooms’ parents sit to either side of them. Sophia and Adam are sitting next to me, and Isaac’s brother and his wife are sitting next to Abby. Other family members and friends are arranged meticulously around the long table, and there’s plenty of good conversation happening from what I can tell. We start with salads, then the entrees are served family-style around the table. There’s bread in abundance, and everyone seems to be having a great time.

“So, Clare, how have you been?” Sophia asks while she holds out the fettuccini alfredo dish for me. “You’re still working with Nate at the travel agency, right?”

I serve myself some of the creamy pasta, then say, “I’ve been doing pretty well. And, yes, I’m still working with your crazy brother.” I flash a grin at Nate which causes him to look questioningly at me, and I just wave my hand in a dismissive gesture. “How have you been doing, Sophia?”

She passes the dish across the table to her aunt and shuffles a bit with her napkin before responding. “Good. Still working with my dad at the architecture firm. I like it, though,” she replies. “Are you still with…Sam? No, that’s not right. Syd?”

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “Suz. And, no, we’re not together anymore.”

She looks crestfallen for having asked. “I’m so sorry. Are you doing okay since the breakup?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’m actually doing alright. It’s only been a few weeks, but it was time. We just weren’t suited for one another, and I think I’m in a much better place now.” Oddly enough, that’s the complete truth. I thought it would take me ages to get over Suz and to mourn our relationship, but since seeing her when I went to dinner with Abby’s parents, I’ve been feeling much better about my decision to end things.

Sophia puts her hand on mine. “Good for you. I’m glad everything’s working out for you.”

“And you? Are you”—I lean in conspiratorially to whisper—“seeing Adam?”

Sophia shakes her head. “No. We’re just good friends. I’m not seeing anyone, at the moment.”

“So, we’re both single then,” I reply. “Nothing wrong with that.”

Sophia nods in agreement. “I’m absolutely stuffed. This pasta is delicious!”

“Isn’t it though? This is one of our favorite restaurants,” Nate interjects.

“I can see why,” Sophia adds pushing her plate away.

Just then, I feel a nudge from Abby. I turn, and she leans in close to my ear. “It’s almost time for the video.”

“I’m ready when you are,” I say wiping my mouth with my napkin and pulling the thumb drive out of my pocket. “Just say the word.”

“As soon as everyone has their desserts, we can get up and hop to it.”

I nod my assent as I hand my plate to the server.

The desserts are served, but before Abby and I can enjoy our chocolate mousse cake, we get up and walk to the projector I set up earlier. I pop in the thumb drive and turn on the projector so a white screen appears on the wall at the end of the table.

“If we could have everyone’s attention while you enjoy your desserts, we have a little something special to share from the best women,” Abby says, gesturing for everyone to turn toward the “screen.”

After everyone scoots their chairs so they can see, I add, “We made this video to show how much we love Nate and Isaac, and how happy we are that they are finally getting married. Please enjoy: Nate and Isaac, Through the Years.”

I press play, and the song “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper begins to play as photos of Nate and Isaac as children alternate in the video. Their parents were instrumental in providing some great, and sometimes very funny, photos of them through their childhoods. Abby and I were able to scour social media for some great photos and videos of them once they met. My particular favorite is a photo of the two of them embracing on the Ha’penny Bridge in Dublin—somewhere I’ve always wanted to go. As I see the photo now, I have this feeling like I’ve been on that bridge before, even though I’ve never been to Ireland. But that photo is quickly exchanged for a video of the boys at Raleigh Pride last year, and all thoughts of Dublin and the bridge are whisked away.

When the video ends, there are more than a few tears being wiped away among the guests. Nate and Isaac look particularly moved, and Isaac mouths, “Thank you.”

“Now, if you’re all finished with your desserts, it’s time to dance!” Abby declares.

I turn off the projector and turn on the playlist we set up for this occasion. A mix of love songs and fun pop hits suitable for a celebration. The restaurant was okay with us having some music and dancing, as long as it wasn’t so loud that it would disturb the guests in other areas. I make sure the volume is still reasonable, then head out to dance with everyone else to Kool & the Gang’s “Get Down on It.”

Most of the party is up and dancing, but a few of the older crowd are still finishing up their desserts and might be waiting on a slower song. Meanwhile, the rest of us are singing, dancing and grooving our hearts out. Isaac is doing the Bump with Nate, and they look really cute. Abby and I are doing more of a side-to-side step because while we love dancing, neither of us are adept with the more complex moves. Not that the Bump is particularly complex, but it does require some amount of coordination and style to pull off. I might do my Up to the Beat workouts nearly every day, but that doesn’t mean I’m a great dancer.

Several other fast songs play in a row, and we keep right on dancing. When the “Electric Slide” comes on, everyone joins in and soon we’re all laughing and singing along together while line dancing our butts off. Nate’s parents look a little self-conscious, but they roll with it and by the end seem like they’ve loosened up a bit.

Abby and I are bouncing around together until the end of the song, smiling and laughing at each other. After a brief pause, I hear the first chord of “Truly, Madly, Deeply,” and I’m not sure what to do. Nate and Isaac immediately begin slow dancing, along with most of the other couples in the room. Sophia and Adam go back to their seats—though it looks like Adam wanted to stay and dance more. I want to dance with Abby so badly, and I realize the only way to make that happen is to suck it up and make the first move.

I put my hand out and it’s shaking like a leaf. She’s glancing over at our friends, so I ask, “Would you like to dance?”

She turns back to meet my gaze, and her eyes are wide with shock? Excitement? Fear? I can’t tell. I think she’s about to say no when she surprises me by saying, “I’d love to.”

She takes my hand in hers and wraps her other arm around my waist to pull me closer. I put my other hand on her shoulder, and we begin to sway along with the music. I’ve only slow danced with someone else a few times—Suz wasn’t a fan of dancing—so this feels completely new to me. I’m very aware of how sweaty I’ve gotten during the last few dances. However, looking at Abby’s brow, I can see a sheen there too, so at least I’m not alone. It also explains the heat radiating between us, or maybe that’s this overwhelming feeling I have to want to kiss her right here, right now.

“I love this song,” Abby says her eyes never having left mine. “I know it’s a little old school, but it’s so pretty, you know?”

“I know,” I breathe.

“What made you want to dance with me?” she asks.

“I…” This is the perfect time to tell her about the dreams, but my mouth won’t form the words. “I…don’t know,” I finally manage.

She lets go of my hand and I fear she’s going to pull away, but instead, she wraps both arms around my neck and rests her head on my shoulder. “It’s actually really nice dancing with you, Clare.”

Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygod, ohmygod! This feels so right and the fact that she is enjoying it too is fantastic. I steal a glance over at Isaac and he gives me a wink. Nate, on the other hand, is completely confused, but seems no less happy.

“What’s going on?” Nate mouths.

“I’m not sure,” I mouth back. And I’m not. Does this mean she would be open to dating? Does she feel the things that I’m feeling? Or does she just like dancing with me?

The music goes on, we keep dancing, and I close my eyes to let the moment take me. I start singing along without realizing it.

“Wow,” Abby says lifting her head up to look at me. “Hearing you sing this song takes me back to senior prom. Remember?”

“Dancing together because we were too dorky to have dates of our own? Of course I remember,” I say. It strikes me that we danced to this very song, only we were standing about two feet apart with our hands on each other’s shoulders at the time. “I think prom was more fun with you than it would have been with a date.”

“Everything is more fun with you, Clare,” Abby replies, then rests her head back on my shoulder.

No matter where this leads, I’m just going to be happy to be dancing with her tonight.