Page 15

Sean takes me to the seafood restaurant in West Tisbury that I ate at the day after my episode in the forest. The hostess recognizes me, and her eyes widen in surprise when she sees Sean. No doubt she’s amazed that I could manage to attract a man like him. Or a man at all.

Or maybe it’s only my insecurity telling me this. After all, I was only red-faced and puffy-eyed in front of her, not mumbling to myself or staring insanely at someone who wasn’t there. At least, I very much hope I wasn’t.

We sit, and the hostess has an order of clams on the half shell brought to our table. Sean's eyes widen when he tries the appetizer. "Wow. Yelp wasn't lying."

“Who wasn’t lying?”

“Yelp. The app.”

“The what?”

He chuckles. “The phone app Yelp. It’s an app that rates and reviews businesses.”

“Oh, Yelp. Right.” I chuckle and rub my forehead. “God. I’m so out of it.”

“You really are, though. I know you’re not so old that you don’t know what Yelp is.”

“Will you go easy on me, please? It’s been a trying few weeks.”

"I'll go easy on you if you promise to be honest with me and tell me everything that’s happened to make the past few weeks difficult.”

I feel a pang of guilt for having to lie to him, but I don’t really have a choice. I have to tell him something, and I can’t tell him the whole truth. “I’m just worried about the letters. If I discover—or rediscover, I guess—that I was a bitch to my sister, it’s going to hurt. I’ve always carried this belief that Annie and I were close and that she left because of our mother. If I find out that it was because of me, then I won’t recover.”

Sean nods and eats another clam. When he swallows, he says, “There. I’ve given myself time to bite back what I wanted to say, which would have been very uncomplimentary toward your sister.”

I chuckle and say, “Well, I appreciate that.”

“What I will say is that those letters were written after your sister left. First of all, you didn’t know she’d left at the time. You thought she was dead or kidnapped. Second of all, even if you did, you would have been grieving, and sometimes when people grieve, they get angry. Your sister abandoned you, and whether you believed then or now that it was her fault, you felt betrayed by her. I’m sure there are some strong words in those letters, and I’m very sure that whatever they say has nothing to do with the relationship the two of you had before she left.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of, though. What if… what if they hint at something? Some great wrong I did her?”

“Not everything is a drama, Mary. Not every event is a momentous, shocking thing that causes women to gasp and men’s eyes to widen. My next point is that your sister left when you two were very young. I’m exposing my own age a little by saying this, but at twenty-two years old, you know exactly fuck all.”

I giggle, nearly spilling the water glass I hold in my hand. The vulgarity is fairly tame, at least my English standards, but it catches me off guard.

“It’s true, though,” he insists. “I remember enough about being twenty-two to know that I was an idiot. I’m sure you were too. I’m sure Annie was too.”

He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his. “You have to let this go. I’m not going to tell you to stop looking for Annie. We tried that once already, and it didn’t help. But you have to forgive yourself. Whatever happened between you and Annie happened thirty-two years ago. You’ve lived so much since then, and you have so much life ahead of you now. Don’t throw it away on one event from your childhood.”

I take a deep breath and release it slowly. “I wish it was that easy.” He lowers his eyes, and I plead with him, “Please understand. Growing up the way we did, Annie and I were all the other had. Our mother hated us. I mean, she hated us, Sean. She tried to kill us both more than once. Father was good to us at first, but being married to our mother killed his soul long before it killed his body. I know that I’m older now, and I know that I’ve lived a lot of life free from my mother’s grasp, but…”

I stop myself before finishing that sentence. Sean finishes it for me. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair that the one person who should have been by your side through everything left you instead.”

I nod, afraid that if I speak, I’ll burst into tears again.

Sean squeezes my hand. “I won’t try to argue with you anymore. I know that letting go is much easier said than done. But I love you, for some reason.” I chuckle at that. “And because I love you, I’m not going to hide the truth from you. Obsessing over this isn’t healthy for you. Let go of Annie. Wherever she went, she made a choice to go without you. She doesn’t deserve any more of your attention.”

I nod again. “I can’t let her go. Like you said, I’ve tried. I need an answer. I need closure.”

He smiles sadly. “I know. So the next thing I’m going to suggest is that you let me help you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. You have your agency.”

“I do, and it will be a little while before I have two assistants selected, but once they are, I’ll turn operations over to them, and we’ll work together just like we did before. We’ll get you the answers you need. And if you want, we can wait to open those letters until we can open them together.”

I grimace. “I don’t think I want you to see them. I don’t want you to know how cruel I can be.”

“You say that like I don’t live with you and haven’t seen you on mornings when the water’s not hot right away.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m serious. I think that’s something I have to do myself.”

“I think it’s something you have to do whether it’s by yourself or not. And it might be nice for you to reveal to me that you once strung your sister up by her stockings and whipped her with a spatula in front of the whole school and realize that I love you anyway.”

I stare at him incredulously. “You have the most ridiculous imagination.”

“And I know that. And I’m not ashamed of it. And you love me anyway. See? We’re both disturbed people. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

I laugh and say, “Well, I’ll consider it. That’s the best I can do right now.”

“Fair enough. I can work with that.”

***

The rest of the day is quite fun. We visit town, and Sean buys me a stuffed teddy bear—a winner for any woman, no matter the age—and a new winter coat. We take a scenic drive around the island and find a little bluff where we spend the afternoon all to ourselves.

I’m glad he’s come. As absurd as it sounds, I was beginning to feel that my first impression of the island as a giant spiderweb was true, and that I was trapped here in this alternate reality where ghosts ruled the day and the past held the present in a firm grip. It’s nice to be reminded that there’s an entire world outside of this island, and that I have a life outside of my missing sister and the Bellamy family drama.

We return for dinner just as the sun sets. Julian is there, and the children are very nicely dressed. I feel a touch of pride when I introduce Sean, especially when I overhear Luann tell her grandmother. “Wow! He’s so handsome!”

Beatrice has prepared roast duck for dinner and served it with wild rice and roasted turnips. It’s served with a bottle of Chardonnay—not the estate’s wine but from the main Continental vineyard—and sparkling cider for the children. Nathan makes the obligatory grab for his father’s wine glass and receives the obligatory slap on his wrist. Sean delights the children with tales of his days as a Scotland Yard inspector and private investigator in Wales, and he and Julian discuss the winemaking business and trade opinions on who will win the Stanley Cup this year. I make the mistake of asking what the Stanley Cup is, for which I receive a sound shellacking from the New England natives. It seems that it’s inexcusable for a Boston woman like myself not to be familiar with hockey.

It’s a good meal. Everyone is happy. Even the stone-faced Beatrice wears something that might loosely be called a smile when Sean compliments her on the Boston Crème pie she makes for dessert.

When dinner is over, Sean pats his belly. “Well, that was easily the most delicious meal I’ve had in a long…” He looks at me. “Since Mary was home to cook for me.”

The Bellamys laugh, and I roll my eyes. “Don’t let him lie to you. He’s the cook in our household.”

“I’m the person who knows how to use the microwave,” he corrects. “But I’m not nearly the cook Beatrice is.”

“Yes, we’ll have to consider a larger Christmas bonus for her, won’t we, Julian?” Victoria says.

“Hell, if she wants to ask for a raise, now’s the time. I’m at her mercy.”

“Sean, must you leave right away?” Victoria asks. “We’ve really enjoyed your company, and we would love—”

A loud slapping sound causes us all to jump. We look at each other with identical expressions of surprise and consternation. Then we hear it again.

“It’s coming from outside,” Sean says. “From the backyard.”

Victoria flinches. “Oh my God. The vineyard!”

We’re all on our feet in an instant. We rush out of the dining room into the great room just in time for another loud slap to greet our ears.

The cause of the slap becomes clear when we see water trickling down the glass door leading to the vineyard. A ropy silhouette catches my eye. In the darkness, it looks like a snake curling up to strike.

“That’s one of the hoses!” Victoria cries. “It’s the irrigation system!”

The good feeling I had only a moment ago vanishes instantly. It was too soon to hope that the sabotage afflicting this family was over. A predator still lurks in the darkness, and when all of our eyes were away, it struck again.