Page 21 of One Chance to Stay (Bears of Firefly Valley #4)

The first time we stood in his bedroom, it had been filled with tentative touches. When we woke, we could have blamed the booze and chalked it up to drunken hormones. The safety net had vanished. We had no excuse other than a yearning for closeness.

I pulled at the bottom of my shirt, ready to undress, when Seamus stopped me. He pushed my hands aside, his fingers tracing my belly in the break between shirt and pants. I thought sex between men would be rough and hurried. Seamus continued to defy my expectations.

He raised my shirt until he reached my chest. His fingers ran across a fuzzy patch, his eyes studying me.

I raised my arms, allowing him to remove my shirt.

His hands continued wandering, stopping for a moment to run his thumbs over my nipples.

I let out a contented sigh, surprised at the jolt of electricity from my chest to my groin.

Last time, I feared speaking would ruin the moment, as if my voice would break the intimate bubble we created. This time, I wanted to assure Seamus with more than guttural moans.

“Feels amazing,” I whispered.

His hands slid behind my back as he replaced his fingers with his mouth. The hair of his beard tickled, but it didn’t compare to the flat of his tongue. When he gave my nipple a light bite, I moaned. Had they always been this sensitive? Or did they require a little manhandling?

I pulled at his shirt, untucking it before pulling it over his head. Now, when he returned to licking, his torso pressed against mine. Two hairy men getting it on? I quickly saw the appeal as his hands gripped my ass.

This time, when I went for the button on his jeans, I popped them open on the first try.

Not that I had practiced in my room. With a swift push, his pants fell around his thighs.

It wasn’t enough. Ever since our tryst, I had run through the laundry list of things I wanted to try. Yet again, I wanted to repay him.

Spinning him around, we both collapsed on the bed. Not as graceful as I hoped. But it didn’t stop me from rolling on top of him, staring at a growing bulge in his briefs. Before I could reach for the elastic, he shimmied along the bed, his head resting on a pillow.

I crawled between his legs, pulling his jeans off one leg and then the other. With nothing but white briefs left, I admired his physique for the first time. Despite the extra fluff around the center, Seamus had muscles only earned from a hard day’s work.

“I, uhm…” I stared at the curvature of his cock in his briefs. “I’ve never done this before.”

“You don’t?—”

“Oh, I want to.” I lay between his legs, his bulge beneath my chin. “Just lowering your expectations.”

Seamus didn’t respond. Watching his face, I pulled at the top of his briefs.

His eyes closed, and his head tilted back.

The grizzled bear chewed his lips as I revealed the shaft of his cock.

This close, I could swear it was bigger than I remembered.

One more tug and his cock sprang upward, smacking against my cheek.

I buried my nose between his balls and the crease of his leg. Seamus smelled manly. Earthy. I couldn’t pinpoint the scent, but it had my cock pressed against the zipper of my jeans. When I kissed along his testicles, his legs widened, giving me free access.

I stared at the beast, my finger running along the underside of his shaft until it reached the head. I wouldn’t call it a beginner model, but it wasn’t the biggest. Kissing along his shaft, his cock jerked, and when I ran the tip of my tongue under the head, Seamus mumbled incoherently.

Precum. In for a penny, in for a pound. I gripped his cock, licking the bead of clear liquid. Salty. Sweet. While I was here…

I opened my mouth, wrapping my lips around his cock. Careful of teeth, I moved down until I reached the spot where my gag reflex kicked in. I held still, surprised that I had a man’s junk in my mouth—and that I wanted more.

I cupped his balls with my free hand as I withdrew, keeping my lips around the head.

As I bobbed up and down, Seamus moaned. After a minute, his hips bucked, trying to get further into my mouth.

I took the plunge, swallowing to the base.

With my lips pressed against his groin, his hands rested on the back of my head as he let out a low roar.

“I’m going to?—”

I retreated as his cock thickened, but not letting go. His back arched as the first rope of cum hit the back of my throat. I couldn’t stop from gagging. When the third shot fired, I swallowed before pulling off his cock. How could precum taste so good and cum be that salty?

I continued jerking his cock, the last of the cum oozing. I didn’t want to be a bad guest, so I licked the tip until his hand pushed my forehead back. His body continued twitching, and I wanted to ask if he enjoyed himself. When he leaned back, drawing a staggered breath, I had my answer.

“I’d do that again,” I said, smacking my lips. Even as the orgasm finished with his body, he rolled his eyes. “What? Can’t a guy enjoy his first taste of cum? I mean, it’s no lasagna, but it makes for a good appetizer.”

“You don’t like silence, do you?”

I lay with my head on his thigh, watching the intimacy escape and the grumpy Seamus come rushing in. No, I wasn’t going to let it happen. I wanted a little longer with this vulnerable version.

I crawled along his body, straddling his waist for the second time tonight.

If he thought I didn’t notice his cock jump against the back of my jeans, he’d be sorely mistaken.

Not sure I was ready to take that leap. Besides, how does one decide if they’re a top or bottom?

Did I get assigned when I received my membership card?

The way the guys at the bar cried about there being no tops, I’d think we all defaulted to being on all fours.

“How many men?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You heard my number. I’m curious. Seamus Finnigan, how many men have you had the pleasure of getting naked?” I leaned forward, giving him a quick kiss. The sensation of his beard on my face had grown on me. “A strapping man like yourself, I bet?—”

“One.”

“One? A day? I could see?—”

“One man.”

He cleared his throat, and we were back to him averting his eyes.

Difficult to accomplish when I loomed inches from his face.

I slid to his side, but kept my hand running circles across his belly.

Should I press the subject? I didn’t want Seamus to retreat, but I figured after sexual encounter number two, we had developed some semblance of a rapport.

“You’re dying to ask.”

“Oh, thank God. Yes. Yes, I am.” I gave him a squeeze. “Is he the one that got away? Your first crush? Is he sexier than me?” Another eye roll. “Okay, we can skip the last one. It’s hard to compete with all of this.”

I flexed. When my hand returned to his stomach, he placed his on top. Even though I had his cock in my mouth minutes ago, the grazing of his thumb over my knuckles felt more intimate. Without a primal urge driving us to get naked, the coarseness of his touch made me smile.

“Tom Strickland.”

“That’s all you’re going to?—”

“Are you always this impatient?”

I settled in, resting my head on his shoulder. He had a point. If I had to choose between silence or filling the space, I’d always ramble. At the bar, I’d play the long game, but elsewhere in life, let’s just say I needed to work on my patience.

“I knew him through some friends. I’d see him at poker.

He had manners and minded his please and thank yous.

When he wasn’t in the room, I didn’t give him a second thought.

” Seamus paused, and his thumb stopped moving.

“It started innocent enough. A lingering hug when he left. A wayward compliment.”

Seamus stopped talking long enough, and I glanced up. He shook his head, sitting up. I lay on my side as he grumbled. “It’s nobody’s business.” His tone changed, almost angry.

“You’ve never told anyone?” The words slipped out.

He shook his head.

I reached up, hand on his cheek, as I guided him onto his back.

He rolled onto his side, our faces close enough that we shared breaths.

If Seamus needed silence, I’d hold back my words.

If he needed support, I’d listen. The thought of somebody never sharing such an important detail of this life left my chest tight.

“I kissed him.” He whispered as he spoke. “Everybody had left. I…” I took his hand, gripping it tightly. “Men didn’t—he kissed me back.”

“Speaking from experience, that’s a scary moment.”

“Cara left me without a reason. We weren’t unhappy, but I remember her saying, ‘I can’t make you happy the way you need.’”

My heart broke for Seamus. I had spoken to dozens of men at the bar in a similar situation. Married to their high school sweetheart, they followed in the steps of their parents. Many were held in place by their sense of loyalty. It wasn’t an uncommon story.

“Do you think she knew?”

He nodded.

I had a thousand questions, but I bit my tongue. This moment wasn’t about me, and I needed to choose my words carefully. What started as pestering him for a smile had taken a sharp turn. The walls had crumbled, and I didn’t want him to thrust me out as that steely exterior reformed.

“Are you happy?”

Seamus pulled back, eyes soft as he stared. Three simple words should come with an equally simple answer, but that was never the case. We stumbled our way through as if the solution required equations from high school calculus. Three words asked for a tally sheet of our accumulated emotions.

“I’m happier.” Seamus’s fingers squeezed my hand. His confession eased the tension in my chest. I was about to ask him what made him happy when reality set in.

Me.

Seamus trusted me enough to share something he had never spoken to another soul. More than that, I had been the person to move the needle. I feared this revelation would come with added pressure. Perhaps it did, but it seemed our stories weren’t so different.

“What happened to Tom Strickland?”

He shook his head.

“Another time.” I moved in for another kiss.

We had gone from hesitant gestures filled with fear to this .

He held my neck, not letting me come up for air.

The firmness of his grip was enough to get my engine roaring.

Having Seamus in control, using the strength in those arms…

okay, maybe I saw the appeal of being a bottom.

“I never thought—” He put a finger to my lips.

He pushed me back before getting up on his knees.

His underwear had caught around his knees, forcing him to waddle down the bed.

The goofy movements left me with an equally goofy grin.

The more I saw the other side of Mr. Serious, the more I found myself…

enticed? Curious? The emotions in my chest would need serious unpacking.

“My turn,” he barked.

“Don’t you mean my turn?”

Seamus reached for the button on my jeans. How did he make it look so easy? He pulled the zipper down, each click making me more excited.

“I said what I said.”

Who was I to argue with his logic as he crawled down my body?