Page 37 of On Thin Ice (Calgary Mounties #1)

Chapter Thirty-Five

NOT LETTING YOU GO

Adele

I let myself into Lincoln’s apartment with the key he’d shyly handed me a week ago.

I’ve already stayed here a few nights without him and had to borrow Seth’s key, because Milo has more space here than in my tiny one-bedroom apartment.

And also, who wouldn’t prefer to stay in a penthouse apartment downtown, rather than their sad little rental?

So, when Lincoln handed me the key, claiming it just made sense for me to have my own rather than rely on Kylie and Seth, I’d tried not to make too big of a deal about it. I’m already in so deep with him that I’m not sure how I’d cope if he suddenly got cold feet and ended things.

He’s just so damn loveable, and I’m kind of mad at him for making me fall for him so hard.

I drop my overnight bag at the foot of his bed and wander back out to the couch, flopping down while I grab the remote from the side table and turn the TV on.

We’ve been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer together, another old favourite of Lincoln’s that he was disgusted that I hadn’t seen.

His love of movies and shows from before we were both born is cute, but it also means that every time he discovers a new one I haven’t seen, he adds it to what is fast becoming a long list titled “Educating Addie”.

We’ve just started season two, and I’m loath to admit how much I’ve been sucked into the world of the blonde vampire slayer who’s in love with a very attractive, much much older vampire.

Lincoln keeps giving things away, and I’ve spent a few episodes with my hand clamped over his mouth after he’s spoiled a plot point for me.

I already know something tragic happens this season, and if he weren’t so good at making it up to me, I’d be very cranky with him right now.

I queue up the episode we’re up to and then settle into the comfy couch cushions with my phone to wait for him and Milo to get home.

But after twenty minutes passes and he still hasn’t made it home, my anxiety starts to kick in. It should have only taken him a few minutes to get to his car, and traffic was pretty light, so I have no idea what could be making him run so late.

Adele

Hey, where are you? Is everything okay?

I stare at my phone, willing the little bubble to pop up to show he’s responding, while telling myself that it just means he’s driving.

I start pacing, the nervous energy running through my veins making it impossible to stay seated.

When I hear the key turn in the deadlock, and I whirl around, rushing towards the door just as Milo pushes inside and jumps up on me.

Relief washes over me, but the troubled expression on Lincoln’s face is concerning.

“What happened?” I ask immediately, watching as he tosses his keys into the bowl beside the door while he takes his shoes off.

He looks weary, like all his energy has been drained from his body, and I’m itching to wrap my arms around him. But something holds me back, and I wait for him to speak.

He scrubs his hand over his face before letting his arm fall back to his side. “Alistair was loitering by my car when I got there.” He seems to be having trouble looking me in the eye, staring down at the floor instead.

My protective instincts kick in and I instantly imagine myself punching the arrogant general manager square in the face.

I move to stand in front of him, taking his hand and bending slightly to look him in the eye as he stares at the ground. “Hey. I’m here. Are you okay?”

He lets out a long breath and shakes his head. “Not really, no. He’s apparently been given a formal warning, but I’m pretty sure that’s just going to cause things to be even worse for me now.”

Nodding, I try not to show how happy I am to hear that HR actually took some action.

I know Lincoln hadn’t wanted to be responsible for someone getting in trouble at work, but this was all on Alistair and Lincoln has nothing to feel guilty about.

But something tells me that’s not what he needs to hear right now.

“Okay. What did he say?”

He lets his head fall back, staring up at the ceiling while he swallows hard, and I can see how much this is affecting him. I squeeze his hand, hoping he knows he can tell me anything.

He takes a moment to compose himself before bringing his gaze to mine.

“He said that I’m hiding behind you to protect my image, and that I’m a liability to the reputation of the team that he’s worked so hard to portray as family friendly, and that I’m not worth the scandal.

” His expression is heartbreaking, and I step in to wrap my arms around his waist.

As someone who has always been so friendly and easy going, I know how hard it has been for him to deal with the fact that someone doesn’t like him.

To have that someone be in a position of power over his career is doing a number on his self-confidence, and I wonder how much more he can handle.

I really hope we don’t have to find out.

After a moment’s hesitation, he slides his arms around me and bends to rest his head on my shoulder. I rub my hand up and down his back, wishing I could make this all better for him.

“That’s really crappy, babe. But you know that’s not true, right?

The fans love you, and so does everyone else on the team.

You are not a liability to the team’s reputation, and I really think, if anything, they are the ones who failed you, not the other way around,” I say, turning my head slightly to kiss his cheek.

His grip on me tightens, and I feel him relax a little. “Thank you for saying that. But it still makes me feel like absolute shit.”

I’m not used to seeing this side of Lincoln, and it breaks my heart to see the usually bubbly and easy-going man struggling with guilt over something entirely outside of his control.

I let him continue holding me, sensing that he’s drawing comfort from my presence, and I have to admit it feels good to be able to help him, even if it’s just by offering my silent support.

Eventually, he gives me a quick squeeze and steps back. “Thanks. I’m sorry, I know we were talking about getting wild in the bedroom tonight, but I don’t think I’ve got it in me.”

I shake my head. “Don’t even worry about that. Do you want me to leave?” I ask, praying he says no.

He shakes his head, and I let out the breath I was holding.

“I’m probably not great company, but… I don’t want you to leave. You always manage to make me feel better and…” He trails off, swallowing while his gaze runs over my face. “I just need you.”

My stomach does a stupid little flip at his admission, and I try to keep my expression neutral, even though my heart feels like it might explode.

Neither of us have said anything about where we see this going between us.

With both our track records, we’ve just been taking it slow and having fun.

But having him say that he needs me feels an awful lot like he’s telling me something else, and that makes me happier than I’m ready to admit to myself.

I reach up to stroke his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere, then.” He turns his face to kiss my palm, and I smile. “Let’s go watch Buffy and I’ll even let you spoil the ending of this one.”

He shakes his head with a small smile, and I can tell he’s trying to pretend he’s okay. I take his hand and lead him to the couch. I sit down and pat my thigh. “Come on, you can lie down and put your head in my lap.”

He considers me for a moment, before shaking his head. “I’m not dying but thank you.” He takes a seat beside me and pulls me into his side. “Just let me hold you.”

I nod, relaxing into his embrace as I turn my body to rest my head on his shoulder and put my arm around his waist. “I can do that.”

We spend the rest of the night on the couch, and he eventually relaxes, getting drawn into the storyline.

I only move to get our Vietnamese food from the delivery guy at the door, returning with two steaming bowls of beef pho.

We eat in companionable silence, our attention fixed on the screen.

But once we’re both done, he tugs me into his lap, guiding me over so I’m straddling his legs, and pushes my hair back over my shoulder, looking up at me with a small smile.

“Thank you.”

I cup his upturned face gently. “I didn’t do anything. ”

He shakes his head. “You don’t need to do anything. Just having you here with me is all I need. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you in my life, but I’m so fucking grateful that we slept together in Tahiti and started this whole crazy ride together.”

I smile, leaning forward to rest my forehead against his. “Me too. And I’m not going anywhere, O’Malley. You’re stuck with me.”

He tightens his arms around me. “Good. Cause I’m not letting you go.”