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CASSIE

My eyes snapped up from the computer screen to see a disheveled and distraught-looking Manon staring back at me.

Her brows were tightly knit as she scanned the room, seeming confused as to what she was even witnessing. But only a chill began to grow between us. I was quiet, half of me was thrown off by the fact that I was just caught snooping, but the other half of me didn’t care. What I had just read was doing laps in my brain, my stomach churned in dread.

And the only thing I could think to say slipped out without another thought of mind.

“Are you using my case to try and make you money?” My voice didn’t crack.

There was an obvious answer to an almost stupid question. Of course she was, this is what I had expected from most, if not all lawyers. This was their job just as much as rideshare was mine. And the only thing that woke me up every morning was the paycheck.

So, if I knew what to anticipate, then why was I surprised that Manon ended up being just like the rest of them? I thought that because I did my research and took my time finding a lawyer that stood out to me that things would be different. I just didn’t expect her to do the same to me. Especially with everything that we’ve gone through in such a short amount of time. I figured the money was the least of her worries.

But I was wrong, and beyond delusional, for thinking that someone was going to take me on out of the kindness of their heart.

Manon was just like the rest of the money-hungry men that ran this industry, and I think that is what hurt me the most. The fact that she got this email two weeks ago and hadn’t said a word or even felt like she needed to.

“What?!” She replied with a shaky breath, her feet still glued to the ground, making no attempt to move.

I was shaking from how fast my knee bounced, I wanted to scream. To throw her laptop across the room and almost blackout from rage, but instead I was almost eerily calm. I never had anger issues but built-up trauma and consistently having only myself to rely on caused me to have blow-ups. Ones that left dents in the relationships I spent years building. But I didn't have that instinct this time.

“To be honest, I don’t know how I ever expected anything different. You never even truly liked me in the first place.”

My head tilted as I started to fall into a daze of disbelief.

Manon pulled her chin back as if she was just as confused as I was. Her eyes blinked like she needed clarity.

“Wait, what are you even talking about?”

Her broken voice only pissed me off more. I leaned forward on my elbows as my chin rested on my balled-up fists. I was tense, my whole body strained in the seat, as I refrained from jumping up and running out altogether. I didn’t want to see her face, especially not when she was acting like she didn’t know what she did.

Fuck, she could at least have the guts to take accountability if or it.

“Was all of this like a game to you?” I asked, but I continued without even giving her a chance to answer.

“I get that this was your job, and you have to be able to sustain your whole lifestyle.” I waved my arms around, gesturing to her home.

“But I’m on the edge of losing everything and you made absolutely no effort to tell me my case could have been dropped?”

When the words spit out of my mouth in disgust, I watched Manon’s face drop as her gaze fell to her laptop. Her eyes look dark, almost dead-like while her face looked tired. She looked defeated.

“Cassie—”

My hand raised to cut her off, palm as bright red as my face. “Please, Manon. I’ve been lied to, led on, and played by so many people in my life that this isn’t even a surprise. I’m just hurt that it came from you.”

My voice faded as tears began to brim my eyes, but I refused to look at her again. I was done. Everything that I was working for had been finished long before now, she just had me suffering in my own mind.

Manon knew the consequences of this case and the trauma it unlocked for me, so I didn’t understand how she could even do this. Even the privileged lawyers that didn’t care for stories like mine, they would’ve just told me straight up. I would be hurt, but at least they were always crystal clear with their intentions.

These kinds of people didn’t have time to spare your feelings or heartache, nor did they beat around the bush. I could tell that by half of their pictures the law firms posted. They had that picture-perfect, fake smile that just screamed “I’m rich and you're not.” I clicked through almost every firm when I searched up “Chicago lawyers” and they all had that same exact copy-and-paste look.

That was before I found Perian Law, which surprisingly didn’t have pictures of their team. But maybe that’s where I went wrong. I saw them not having any pictures as an automatic green flag. Because I figured that meant it wasn’t just about the looks and I was forced to judge them by their credibility. But maybe I wouldn’t have felt the urge to pick Manon if I had just seen how perfect she was. Maybe then I would have hesitated or thought that in some way we wouldn’t work well together.

Who am I kidding? If I saw how Manon looked on Perian’s website, then I probably would have done worse than what I was doing now. I’d probably act like a creep and see how much I could find about her on the internet before just full-on emailing her—and not about my case.

If I saw how Manon looked before all of this, I’d probably be shit out of luck with my case because I would have forgotten all about it and gotten lost in her. But I was pretty much already doing that. For the past few weeks, I had avoided talking about the case altogether, just because I liked spending time with Manon that didn’t involve work.

Which only dug me deeper. I was already falling fast, the way we coasted together was like something lost at sea. It was almost scary how comfortable we’d gotten. We didn’t even question what the other was doing anymore because we knew each other’s schedules as if they were one.

I was busy in the kitchen while she was getting ready for work, and as heteronormative and stereotypical as it all sounded, I was in love with my new life. For once, I felt needed and wanted. But I enjoyed my level of responsibilities. It was never too much or overwhelming. I enjoyed cleaning and making sure Manon had clean clothes for the next day. Because it made me feel like I was a part of something bigger, it didn’t matter how stupid and small that sounded. Manon’s smile every day was enough for me to turn it into a routine.

But now that I’m here it all sort of feels like a joke, like all that I had been doing was for nothing. Her lies washed away every feeling of peace that I had was instantly replaced with betrayal.

“Cassie, you don’t understand.” Her voice sounded drained like she knew she was already at fault.

I could feel my gut twist, somehow her being weak, aware of her mistakes, made it all ten times worse. Because that meant she was just waiting to get caught.

My temples were beginning to pound at the same time as my chest started heaving. In one motion I slipped from out of the stool. The chair scraped against her precious wood floors and secretly I hoped it scuffed the wax enough to leave a scratch.

“I’m glad you got what you wanted out of all of this. And truly, for what it's worth, I still do appreciate what you did for me during the pre-trial. Whether that was actually for me or not, it clearly changed everything. There’s no point in me trying to find a new lawyer in time so go ahead and milk it for all that you can.”

I moved to meet her lifeless eyes, and even through it all I felt a twinge in my chest, I quickly recovered. Hardening my face in the process.

“But I don’t want to see your face until the day of trial, and after that–we’re done.”