Page 11

MANON

“Should we make a toast?”

I finally returned from the kitchen with two glasses full of the same wine we’d drank nearly a week ago. This time, it was meant as a celebration.

Cassie’s eyes twinkled in the dim lighting that hung from above, her mind looked weightless compared to before. Her mouth spread wide as she caught sight of what I was carrying, her arm reaching out to meet me halfway.

Our fingers brushed when she grabbed the glass but instead of faltering from her touch I quickly sat down before raising the stem.

“To a successful pre-trial?”

Her smile widened, “To a successful pre-trial!”

Our glasses clinked before we both took the longest, much-needed sip. I could’ve sworn I heard a gulp. When I looked back at Cassie a quarter of her glass was already empty and the smile that lingered on her lips never met her eyes.

When the silence fell, and she didn’t move to pick it up like normal, I knew her mind was still racing.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, still letting the brim of the glass just rest against my bottom lip.

A lot had happened today that I don’t think either of us were prepared for. Not only did Blue Wheels bomb probably their first case ever, but things had gotten more personal than I had expected. The feeling of thinking I knew a lot about Cassie had floated away as soon as I had seen her face.

Cassie looked distraught, and if it wasn’t for Judge Hickerson stopping Nick Leed from continuing, then I don’t know what position we’d be in right now.

Not because whatever he said was going to be life-altering to me, but because I was already on the edge of ripping his head off. And if he had continued then this might’ve been a completely different case.

I could feel my blood starting to boil just thinking about it.

I didn’t care about a single word that fell from his mouth, he seemed as useless as the empty chairs in the courtroom. I could tell that from the moment we walked in. He acted like 99% of male lawyers there did, with Neil being the other 1%. So, I did what killed them the most, I gave them nothing. Not an ounce of presence was ever steered towards them.

I kept my eyes on the prize, I had just spent a week with my head buried in paperwork about this case. The last thing I needed was to give these overgrown frat boys any bit of satisfaction.

I dialed in. I ignored every glare they threw, even though I knew Cassie wasn’t doing the same. I made it my mission for her to not have to lift even a finger.

When Nick decided to forgo their original plan because it was a bunch of bullshit that the judge had called him out for; I knew he was retaliating.

He had that distant look in his eyes like he was searching for anything to save his ass. Flipping from page to page right in front of the judge, only looking further unprepared. Just for him to land on something that made his eyes light up. I knew then there was something morally wrong with that man.

The way his hair was styled told me he did it the same way every single day. The fine pressed and steamed suit looked like you could eat dinner off of it. And his shoes, fuck. I could smell the money dripping off those guys, which only made me more pissed off. Because to them, this was like the bottom barrel, chump change, and Blue Wheels was after every cent of it.

They were greedy, low-life, scammers that didn't have anything better to do but attack their customers. While their main demographic was known for not being wealthy or even middle class; they were targeting low-income households that needed an affordable way of getting around on vacation they’d probably only get the chance to go on every other year, if ever.

Here they were, ready to ruin your entire life over money they’d make in an hour. The thing was, after days of research with help from Neil—and his dramatic breakdown when he didn’t know what I was going through—we discovered that Blue Wheels had at least 30 different locations across the nation, five of which were in Illinois. The Reddit post that Cassie had found was the one based here. Neil and I studied countless different threads filled with thousands of comments talking about their horrible experience with the company. From credit card fraud to damage claims on accidents that never happened. Blue Wheels were in some deep shit.

I was prepared to hold onto that information until I deemed it necessary. For hours it wasn’t. When I realized how careless they seemed, I knew there was no need for me to pull out the big guns just yet, because they were taking the trash out themselves.

It only made me realize their privilege even further. These were brainless, egotistical men. They coasted their way to the top of the pyramid no matter what. So, whenever I saw them kick others down to get to get ahead, it made my stomach twist with disgust. When you already have it all, how could you have the energy to drag others who have less down?

But boys like them thrived on situations like this. It was like it was some sick game of theirs to see how much they could get out of it. The smug smirk that twitched at the corner of his mouth told me everything I needed to know.

He was willing to do anything to win. He didn't expect he’d have to do anything at all, but if he had to, he would cut deep. Which was sadly proven to be true when in the moment of desperation he jumped to something that would tear Cassie down emotionally.

But what was probably the most surprising moment for me, was how I blacked out. As soon as the words “December 12 th ” and others fell from his lips, I went tense. I didn’t need to look at Cassie to know that whatever he was bringing up was beyond personal.

If she had just barely told me about her parents passing just a week ago, I’m sure that the last thing she expected was for a stranger to be the one who brought it up. I couldn’t explain the amount of rage that surged through me. It was as if in a millisecond everything left my mind, and the only thing I could focus on was Nick.

I wish I could go back in time and give Cassie the reassurance she deserved in that moment, but I was seeing red.

Blood curdling, crimson red.

My vexation was already evident. I was glaring at him with burning, reproachful eyes. Ready to jump and crawl across these tables to claw his eyes out.

But Judge Hickerson had other plans, he didn’t like where the conversation was headed any more than I did.

Cutting him off dry, like his ego needed to be humbled. It was great, satisfying even. But it wasn't enough. I wanted to see the pain drip from his eyes.

I couldn’t understand the emotions I was feeling because I never experienced that level of anger before. It was like he unleashed something that couldn’t be put back in a cage. No, my anger was starting to scale the walls like venom chasing after its victim.

I gave Cassie as many shoves as I could before I was called to the stands, but she was still out like a light. Her body was here but her mind, her soul, and spirit weren’t. She was drifting away to somewhere dark, where her mind seemed to never settle. I wanted to stay there, hold her, and tell her that I had her. I didn’t need to know any details. I just wanted to stop all of the noise that was going on in her head.

But when I realized staying next to her wasn’t an option; I did the only other thing I knew how to do, which was to verbally disintegrate them until they were nothing but piles of ash and bones.

The way I can’t even remember how I made it to the stands tells me I was mentally elsewhere. Which was scary when I spoke as if I had every word planned out. Up until then, all I had were facts and evidence. Besides my introduction, I didn’t know what the in- between parts would be. But it was like Nick was the one who had decided that for me.

I blame him for his own self-destruction, because at that moment I had never felt more powerful. Dragging each of them one by one. If it was just a couple of months ago, the thought of yelling at grown men like I was their mother, would’ve thrown me for a loop.

But today, I was doing it without even trying, it came out like a well-rehearsed script. Not a single stutter. The words I threw were as heavy as stones. I wanted them to knock him out cold.

I wanted him to feel every bruise and aching pain that he made Cassie feel, and I wanted to be the one to personally deliver it to him. So I did. I chewed Nick Leed up and spit him out like he was the worst meal I had ever had. While Judge Hickerson sat back and watched like I was his entertainment.

After a while, he wanted me to drag him, seeing the corner of his mouth being forced down to avoid smiling. I knew he liked seeing me kill these guys through my work and nothing else. That was the real way to impress him.

He was so enthralled by my argument that he hardly even dropped his head. Which helped because I needed to avoid looking at either table. I could feel Cassie’s eyes solely on me, and I was fighting every part of me to from looking back. Because I knew if I did, it would be all over. Not because of anything else, but because I would be carrying her limp body out of this courtroom, with no shame.

And if I turned to the plaintiff’s table, I was afraid I’d do something to end my career.

Shit, this new surge of feelings was scary, they’d never felt so intense before. I was gripping the wooden stand like my life depended on it.

When I finished speaking, it was like someone turned off the spotlight. I took a step back like I needed to remove myself from the situation, only just then being able to look at Cassie.

Her gaze was already on mine as my skin began to tingle. She was staring with her mouth agape like she was speechless. The only thing I could focus on was her look of admiration. She stared at me like I had just lit the path to all her dreams.

As if I had just spent hours fighting in a battlefield to protect her. I guess it felt like I did. I had just finished slaying her dragons and now I wanted to take her home all to myself.

I hardly even cared when Judge Hickerson announced we’d be going to trial as if that wasn't what we spent all this time fighting for. Even when he gave me my flowers for standing up for what was right, his words went in one ear and then out the other.

They were not meaningless, far from it. This was quickly becoming one of my best cases yet. I could feel it, but all I was focused on was Cassie and how she was feeling.

I studied her like never before, even when the room cleared and all that was left was her and I. I sat silently until she was ready to react, speak–anything. I didn't care if we had just had our first mini win, that was the last thing on my mind.

Even now, all I cared about was if Cassie was happy.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I finally spoke up, just now willing to test the waters. Her mind seemed full, and I just wanted to offer some way of relieving it.

She was deep in thought, truly trying to decide whether she wanted to open up that much, probably questioning if I was trustworthy enough to hear what was troubling her. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was the only person I wanted her to trust.

But it didn’t seem like I needed to do anything at all, because her tense shoulders fell into a slump within an instant. “Not really, but I guess I should explain...”

Her voice wasn’t as smooth and confident as usual. This time, it dragged on into a distant whisper. Like she didn’t want me to hear what she had to say.

My head shook. “No, Cassie. You don’t have to tell me anything at all. Just because I did my job doesn’t mean you owe me any kind of explanation.”

My chin lowered so we were at eye level. I was still wearing my heels from earlier, so we were just a few inches apart in height. But I kind of needed it. Without heels, we were practically the same height. There was nothing in the way—nothing obstructing our gaze. Our pupils were almost always in perfect alignment. It felt so personal and raw like no one else got to experience or view her as I did.

But it also backfired. I was starting to feel like I needed to wear heels so I could avoid sinking into her eyes. It was too easy, the way her eyes changed different shades of green right before your eyes. You could spend so much time flickering between the two of them without even realizing how much time has passed.

Right now, though, I was cheating my own system. Leaning to my side slightly and lowering my head, this was a recipe for disaster.

“Whatever those scumbags were going to say means nothing to me, or the judge—clearly.”

Cassie’s eyes were full of light as she took a deep breath. I watched as her chest rose. She still looked uneasy, biting at her bottom lip, but her eyes were telling me she wanted to try.

“Yeah. I know, but I want to.” She said, voice clearer than before.

I stayed silent, not moving an inch toward my glass that sat on the glass coffee table in front of us. I wanted to give her my undivided attention. If Cassie was willing to open up about her past then I was ready to listen with open ears. I want to know every detail of her life that shaped her to be who she was today.

When I didn’t speak up, she pressed on.

“In 2017, my mother passed away due to a fatal car accident—.”

She didn’t blink once, too afraid of missing my reaction, but I had nothing to offer. My brows sunk in as my eyes closed in despair. It felt like a knife was sitting in the center of my chest and someone just twisted it.

What the actual fuck?

Her eyes dropped, “That’s why I looked weird when you called me ‘Cass’ a few days ago. I hadn't heard someone call me that in years, not since she passed.”

I moved to interject and apologize, feeling like I knew something had to have been up when I first said it.The look on her face told me it wasn’t her first time hearing it but maybe I should’ve asked before I let it fall from my lips.

The palm of her hand raised in a way to stop me; Cassie was already beating my scrambling thoughts.

“You didn’t know, and to be honest, what scared me more than anything else was that I liked it.” Her face showed no hint of fear like she wasn’t nervous to say something so bold. Her voice was smooth, yet insistent, making my skin break out into goosebumps.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to press pause on this moment, run around this couch to find Leo, and let out the most annoying teenage girl scream. He wouldn’t like it, I already knew that, but I had never felt this way before. It was like I was experiencing what all of my classmates did growing up for the first time.

All these years, I was the one blocking it from myself. Scared that if I indulged, then I was bound to fail. But it was like no matter how hard I tried to fight it, Cassie didn’t care. She was always going to stay true to herself and tell me how she felt. It was one of my favorite things to admire about her. Instead of skipping away into dreamland; I stayed grounded, feet planted and ready to take anything she was willing to give me.

Her face was just as still as before as her mouth cracked open and closed multiple times before finally speaking again.

“My mom, she was, uhm—looking at the directions on her phone. So, a lot of people like to claim that she only had herself to blame for it. I guess it was just my luck that seven years later someone was trying to accuse me of basically the same thing.”

Her voice went tight like her throat was starting to close in on her, eyes glistening as tears threatened to border the rim of them.

There it was. I could feel it. A new anguish seared my heart, as my face creased with anger when the realization set in.

My loud voice strikes like a whip in the cold night, “Wait, so were those fuckers trying to say that those accidents were similar in some kind of way?”

Her head nodded slowly.

“I’m going to kill them.” I spoke through gritted teeth. My jaw was so tight it could snap at any minute.

My vision went blurry, and I was instantly brought back to the courtroom. Back to when I saw the disgusting look of self-satisfaction that sat on Nick Leed’s face before he spoke. It was chilling but knowing now what he was actually going to say, it made me sick to my stomach.

Enough to make me fly off the couch.

But my body jerked back, I was being yanked back down and dropped back into reality before I could even drift away. When I looked to see what was weighing me down, the sight of Cassie’s fingers gripping my wrist like cuffs, made my breath hitch. But the feeling was gone as soon as it came, when her fingers slipped away before avoiding my gaze.

“Sorry, I just—”

She looked like she was struggling to find the right words.

“—I just really wanted to say, thank you for sticking up for me. I mean, I know that’s your job and you’re just trying to win the case and all…”

Her hands swung around like they always did when she was nervous.

“But seriously, what you did up there today… was...” Her eyes met mine, and I watched as they darkened into the deepest shade of green.

“Indescribable. I don't think I’ll be able to thank you enough. I know this was just the start, but shit, that was amazing.”

Before she could finish, I was already shaking my head in dismay. Without thinking, my hand shot out, headed straight for hers that sat on the couch.

“No, Cassie, what you don’t understand is that I was able to do all of that because of you.”

All my internal alarms were being set off one by one, but I was already too far gone. The ringing was so drowned out by the thumping in my chest that I didn’t care anymore. My mind was roaming as if it had no breaks. I wanted to hold Cassie because of the confession she had just made, but I also wanted to scissor her right here in our suits.

And this wasn’t from the alcohol. Not only was my glass still full, but I didn’t have slurred, blurry visions of us. This was crystal clear; I was talking out of pure frustration just because I didn't realize it sooner. But I couldn’t keep how I was feeling at bay anymore. I had been fighting this for weeks, and at this point I was ready to throw my hands up in defeat.

Her eyes double in size, as if she was able to see straight into my mind—I wouldn’t doubt it. Still, our hands never separated, even though I knew she could feel the sweat beginning to build in my palm. Our eyes raked over each other’s faces trying to read the situation.

“None of this, wouldn’t have even happened if it wasn’t for you. I have never been so overtaken by a case in my life. Your story, your confidence, your personality, it's everything about you. The quirks, the things I swore I hated, they were all secretly my favorite things about you.”

I couldn’t blink, neither could Cassie. But I wasn’t afraid anymore. I had already ripped the Band-Aid off, so there was no going back now.

“You somehow have managed to make me experience almost every emotion that I had suppressed since childhood in a matter of weeks. To the point where I had to physically remove myself from my own apartment because of how intense they were. Yet even miles away and hours of time spent apart; you had me running around my office working on a case like I had never done before. I’ve never been the type for special treatments for clients, but you’ve made me biased. I had my colleague helping me work overtime because I needed this to be right for you… Cassie.”

My voice was low and hoarse. I was too afraid of speaking any louder. It felt like any interruption could have been detrimental. I wish I had the strength to look her in the eyes like she had done to me, but it was evident she was stronger than me on so many different levels.

I could show up in front of a judge on almost a weekly basis to fight for what I believed in. But I couldn’t look Cassie in the eyes, as I told her my feelings. It all seemed so dumb when I thought about it like that. But Cassie had a way of bringing out a different side of me, that just turned into a pile of goo whenever we spoke.

When I gathered the courage to look up, I was shocked to see that she had never looked away. Her eyes glowed with a savage inner fire that made them gleam different shades of raw aventurine.

It was a serene, magnetic feeling to have someone look at you with so much light and purpose. It was as if they were burning through everything in their path, instantly claiming it as their own. The twinkle, the sparks—her eyes were misty, but not with pain. Instead, they were filled with what looked like determination.

And before I could question her thoughts, the lights went out.

Not literally, but when she moved her hand from underneath mine and slipped it around the back of my head, before pulling me down until her mouth crashed into mine.

It felt like my brain short circuited and had a power outage.