Page 165 of On A Manhunt: Complete Series

THEO

I startled awake when I felt breathing on my neck. I turned my head and got a whiff of dog breath, then got a tongue lick.

“Fuck, Scout,” I said, wiping my face. He jumped to the floor and barked.

“Good, you’re not dead,” Mav said.

I blinked my eyes open, and he loomed over me, arms crossed over his chest.

“What time is it?”

“Two-thirty.”

I shifted, realized I was on the couch and in the clothes I had on yesterday. The inside of my mouth felt like the floor of a mushroom farm.

“Mac was expecting you at the fire training six hours ago.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t go.”

Mav sighed. “Look. I’m all for you taking a bender. If anyone needs one, it’s you. But your shit is fucking with my sex life.”

I sat up, then regretted it. I held my head so it didn’t fall off. I wasn’t sure how far I made it through the whiskey bottle last night but based on the way I wanted to hurl and then die, it was probably at least half.

“How am I fucking with your sex life?”

“Because Bridge has stayed the past three nights at her house with Mal instead of in my bed.”

That meant it was Saturday. I spent Thursday and Friday sober, doing my job and seeing patients.

Verna hadn’t said a word to me outside of work-related topics.

Jeff just gave me pitying looks. When I was done for the week, when I didn’t have to be a functioning–and sober–member of society, I came home and got plastered.

Now that I was conscious again, I realized it hadn’t helped.

I still felt like shit.

Mallory still wasn’t mine.

“Shower and then we’ll figure this shit out.”

Standing, I groaned. After stumbling to the bathroom, I threw up, getting rid of all the stuff my body didn’t like, just like I’d told the group of first graders. Only when my stomach was blissfully empty did I swallow a few pain pills, then stand under the hot water until my skin pruned.

Surprisingly, Mav was still in my house when I came out in sweats and a t-shirt. The scent of bacon and eggs made my stomach flip, but the cup of coffee Mav handed to me calmed it. I ignored how it scalded my tongue and drank it all.

“Here.” A plate of food was held in front of me. I snagged it, then gave my brother a look.

“You have no sympathy.”

“You brought this shit on yourself. You could be with Mal right now. Instead, we’re both suffering.”

“Oh yeah, your poor dick.” I picked up the fork and shoveled in a mouthful of eggs.

“My dick shouldn’t be in the middle of your love life.”

I glowered, then ate some more.

“Let me guess, you pulled your head out of your ass and figured out you’re in love with Mal.”

“Pretty much.” I clenched my teeth around a piece of bacon and ripped it in half.

Scout and the stray cat sat side-by-side staring up at me.

“What’s the cat doing inside?”

Mav shrugged. “Followed Scout in.”

I ripped the remaining piece of bacon in half and gave it to each of them. Scout didn’t even chew his. The cat set it on the floor, sniffed it, then ate it daintily.

I was impressed Scout didn’t try to steal it.

“So. You’re in love with Mal and she’s with Bridge. Let’s get this figured out.”

“I feel like you’re here for selfish reasons and not for brotherly ones.”

I finished the food, rinsed the dish and put it in the dishwasher.

“Purely selfish.”

I grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filled it at the sink and downed the whole thing. I was starting to feel slightly human. Except I also felt… empty.

“I was with Mac when they got the call. I got pulled along and it turned out to be Mallory in the car.” I’d never forget that moment. “I was helpless. All my training to be a doctor and I couldn’t help. Mac and his crew got her out.”

“So you had to stand there and realize that you actually have emotions after all.”

I nodded. “The kid who was killed, the one I told you about?”

“Yeah?” He leaned against the counter and crossed his ankles.

“I felt nothing. Then… when I was waiting to find out if Mallory was dead or alive, I felt everything. Panic. Fear. God, the fear.”

“Welcome to loving someone.”

“It’s too late. I was talking to Verna and Mallory overheard me say we were nothing.”

His eyes widened, but he stayed quiet.

“It was just supposed to be sex. It was just sex.”

“Until it wasn’t,” he added. “Congratulations, you’re human, not a cyborg.”

“Funny.” I didn’t laugh. “But probably really fucking accurate. We had a scheduled time for sex. No lingering. Hell, we didn’t even kiss for a few days.

And only because she pointed it out, that she wanted a connection.

Me? I was fine with just going at it.” I glanced at Mav, felt the gravity of what I’d done settle in. “I’m Dad.”

Mav laughed. “Hell, no.”

“I am. I can fuck without caring about a woman. I bought Mallory a house because it would solve her problems.”

“From what I understand, you confronted Mr. Dirty Dick–Bridge’s name for the guy she works with–to keep Mal safe. You bought her a house because, like you said, it solves her problems. You flew to Vegas because you heard she had a court appearance and had driven her ass there all by herself.”

“You know about the court appearance?” I asked, surprised.

He raised a hand. “Oh, I learned a fuckton in the past few days. I didn’t think Mal had it in her to get arrested for solicitation, but I think I’m actually a little proud of her.”

“What are you getting at?” He had to have a point.

“In your own cyborg way, you were showing her how much you cared about her. You felt for her all along. You just needed that heart thawed out.”

“Mav, she gave the house back. She Quit Claimed the deed into my name.”

His eyes widened in surprise.

“She wanted that place so fucking bad, but she didn’t want it from me.”

He shook his head. “You gave her the wrong thing, dumbass.”

I paused, considered. For the first time, it was obvious. “You’re talking about my heart.”

“Yes, you moron. She wants you. For some reason, the women we fall for don’t give a shit about our money.”

“Clearly they want our dicks,” I replied.

Mav smiled, then frowned, because he wasn’t getting any.

“Buying a house for a woman is a Dad move. I wonder how many gifts he bought for the women he fucked and forgot.”

“No more of this you’re like Dad bullshit. If you’re like him, then I am, too. I got me a girl who’s fifteen years younger. I pretty much robbed the cradle. If that isn’t just like the fucker, I don’t know what is.”

“Fucking without feeling,” I said. “Then giving her a house. Hell, she must’ve felt like a real call girl. The best BJ of my life and I buy her a house.”

He grimaced but pushed on. “You have feelings, you idiot. You like Mac. From what I hear you two are BFFs. I don’t see you buying him a house.”

“Not too keen on him giving me a BJ,” I countered, trying to be funny. It wasn’t.

“You just buried all your shit down so you didn’t get hurt. Dad was a narcissist and used people. He didn’t give a shit about their feelings or emotions. He wouldn’t have become a doctor to save people like you did. You forgot to have fun, that’s all.”

Fun. Fuck, there was that word again.

He was right. All of it. I wasn’t telling him that.

“Since when do we talk feelings?” I wondered.

“Since my dick hasn’t seen Bridge’s pussy in three days.”

I shook my head. “Dude. Please.”

“No, dude, please.” He begged me right back.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll go grovel to Mallory to make your dick happy.”

He held up a hand to stop me. “No. Absolutely not. The only reason to grovel to Mal is if you love her and want her to be yours. Long term. No scheduled sex. No whatever other stupid parameters you put around your heart. You gotta be all in. Or walk away for good.”