Page 47 of Omega Forged (Hartlock Omegas #2)

Tully

“How are you feeling?” I shoved away the ache in my chest. Pan’s smile dripped with silk, but it sharpened at my question.

“Ugh, feelings. I’d rather talk about anything else.” He wriggled his eyebrows.

Your friend used me. Your friend is a liar.

I didn’t know how to confess the truth about Chase.

“I’m on edge tonight,” Pan added after a beat of silence, and I caught my breath at the alpha in front of me.

The darkness in the cracks of his facade, wider now that we were alone.

I could put my ear to his chest and hear it breaking.

“All anyone wants to talk about is when I’m going to play piano again. It’s tiring.”

“You don’t want to?” I wondered what made Pan lose his love for it.

“They talk to me like I’m selfish, squandering my talent.” He sounded bitter.

“Pan?” I grabbed his hands.

He shook his head, and his tongue played with his lip piercing.

“At the last gala we threw, Walden was supposed to announce he was running for mayor. I wasn’t sober, and I made a scene.

Knocked over a table of canapes and punched my old piano teacher.

I-I don’t even remember what happened. Someone found us in the hall, and there was SubduX spilled everywhere.

Walden was furious but tossed enough money to tidy up what I’d done. ”

Oh Pan . I squeezed his hands, knowing he wasn’t done.

“There is something in me, Tully. It sits on my chest, it fills my head with noise. Everything I do… it’s to numb that part inside me.”

“And that makes you frightened?” I pulled our joined hands onto my lap.

“So much. Of what I might do to make this feeling stop, and what consequences I’ll have to face when I can’t. Walden only has so much patience and I’m sure you’re the same.”

“Me?”

“I’ve been killing the love he has for me, and I don’t want to do the same before we even have a chance.

I’m tearing my chest open right now because I’m a mess and I want you to see it.

Everything about me is wrong. Born an alpha, when I crave to be like you.

Born with incredible musical talent that’s go—”

Pan was poetry torn in pieces. He was an eclipse, shadows stealing the light. Pan was like clutching a perfect rose stem and having thorns hook through your skin. He lived on the edge of pain and pleasure.

He was all these things. More. I adored him through it all.

“You might be frightened, but I’m not, Pan.” I ran a hand down his clammy cheek. “We’re both beautiful messes. Whatever you need to keep you strong in your sobriety, I’ll give you. Your pack loves you. I hope you know that.”

“It’s your pack too, angel.”

Pan pulled his hands from my grip and settled them on my cheeks. His lips brushed against mine. My heart jumped in my chest. I had a longing for my nest. A safe place for both of us. The noise from the gala carried an indistinct murmur I couldn’t escape.

I didn’t want to go back there, not yet, not at all, if I had the choice. First, I had to get something off my chest. About Chase.

“Pan—I—”

“Tully.” Pan leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I know you’re overthinking right now, but you did great. Nobody could tell you were nervous at all.”

“No, I need to tell you something.” I drew in a shuddering breath.

Right as the door opened.

“I hope I’m not interrupting?” Chase wandered into the room and closed the door.

Pan eased away as Chase clapped him on the shoulder. My breath whistled out of my lungs and into his clenched fist. He shared a smile with me, hungry like a shark.

“We’re just having a little break. The crowd was a bit much. You know how it is.” Pan’s fingers squeezed my shoulder, but there was no comfort. The roar in my ears was a hurricane. Chase cocked his head, raking his gaze down my body.

“Over-indulge, Tully?” Chase’s smile was fat with victory.

My chest hurt as my heart hurtled against it. The desire to flee was hard-wired in me, but it wasn’t an option, so I froze out of instinct.

Made myself so, so small and so, so quiet.

“What are you doing here?” Pan looked between us, and his expression turned brittle as he took in my stricken face.

“I wanted to talk to you about Seph. To see if there is a way you can mend your friendship.” Chase shrugged.

“W-wha—” I sucked in a hitched breath.

I’d never been good at hiding what I was feeling.

Emotions flitted across my face like pages of a book.

What could I say to Pan? This was the alpha who tried to use me for my fortune and destroyed my sense of self as easily as blowing down a stack of cards.

Chase knew it too, and I flushed with frustration.

Chase leaned back and smiled. Like I could be so easily controlled by the shine of his teeth.

He was languid, except deep in his oceanic eyes.

I could see a glint that dared me to tell Pan the truth.

Chase was the alpha who used me.

Who broke my heart and made me want to leave Starhaven entirely.

“I know how life got in the way, but Seph misses you desperately. You’re so dear to her, Tully. I hope you know that. Maybe… can we speak alone for a moment?” Chase played at being earnest and I cleared my throat, dry like sandpaper.

My head thumped, pain exacerbated by the fluorescent lights.

“She—” I grimaced, my mind blank.

I wanted to rail at him, to tear strips off Chase for daring to be here.

Had he no shame?

“Did you want some privacy?” Pan asked.

If I had a scent, it would have choked the room with sharp bitterness. But I didn’t. Another thing Chase stole from me. His wipes worked well, thanks to me.

“No,” I gasped.

My taut edges rubbed against each other, and I wondered how I hadn’t snapped yet.

Pan’s fingers kneaded into the knots of my shoulder while Chase narrowed his eyes.

He was biding his time. The blank face was a mask.

Eventually, his displeasure would boil out and I would be drowned in the force of it.

“I still can’t believe you know each other. Chase has been one of my closest friends for years,” Pan explained at my quietness.

The reassurance did the opposite, sending a shiver down my spine. If I spoke out now, would he even believe me? My stomach threatened to upend.

“We hit it off the second we met, didn’t we?” Chase said with a twitch of a smile. “My brothers, my pack, they’re as small-minded and boring as yours are. At least we can have a good time with each other.”

“That’s not true,” I blurted out in protest, shrinking in my seat as Chase rolled his eyes, sending his affable grin in my direction. Was it just my imagination, or did his eyes get colder?

Pan let out a laugh. “He’s just joking, Tully. But we are kind of the black sheep of our packs.”

“Speaking of.” Chase dug around in his pocket and tossed something over to Pan.

It landed in his lap, and he sucked in a strangled gasp.

“Got you a treat, pup.” His smile was a screw to my intestines, turning and tearing the tender organs.

Nestled on Pan’s lap was a tiny plastic bag, filled with light blue powder that sparkled like glitter. Pan’s exhale could fell ancient ruins, it was that powerful and full. His dark pupils blew out wide.

“I know how much you love SubduX. Thought you might want to celebrate after being roped into another stuffy event.” Chase leaned against the desk. “Figured you’d be the one playing piano, though.”

Pan flinched.

“Pan,” I whispered, reaching out to grab the bag, but Pan covered it with his hand, shaking his head.

His hand trembled over the bag while Chase let out a soft, mocking laugh.

“What’s the matter? The Pan I know would have that up his nose in two seconds already.”

“He’s sober,” I snapped through gritted teeth. “Asshole.”

Pan pushed up from the couch to pace the room. Fist clenched so tight, his knuckles turned white. My stomach sloshed with rolling nausea and the bitter aftertaste hit the back of my teeth.

“Pan?”

It was like watching a statue crumble before my eyes. All Pan’s strength ground to dust as he wavered.

“Are you now? Well, pass it back. I’m sure there’s another alpha out there who wants to relax. I’ll make my money back at least.” Chase stretched out his palm, lip curled as Pan shuddered.

His lashes dusted his ashen cheeks as he brought the bag up.

In the light, it looked like fairy dust, magical and carefree, but I knew it wasn’t.

He gritted his teeth and tossed it back to Chase.

Just as the door opened and Baylark Pack wandered in.

I let out a low groan as Walden noticed immediately.

His eyes narrowed. “Are you serious? I’m about to make an announcement.”

Chase tucked the SubduX in his jacket with a smug grin. “Congratulations, by the way. Make sure you find time for me in your busy schedule.”

“He didn’t do anything. Chase offered it to him, and he gave it back,” I said.

Pan was silent. But two bright red spots burned on his cheeks. Hunger and obsession echoed in the way he gnawed at his bottom lip.

Chase let out a whistle, linking his hands behind his head. “She’s covering for him already. Definitely meant to be a part of your pack.”

Insidious tendrils choked my throat, and I couldn’t contain the white-hot horror that scorched me to ash. I floated out of my body. Pan didn’t reply, fighting the part of him that craved what Chase offered.

I wasn’t an addict, and couldn’t understand the clawing need he fought every day, but it was clear as glass in the tense line of his body.

The raw hunger on his face was desperate, like the little bag contained the solution to every problem he had.

My tongue grew thick in my mouth, swollen with frustration.

“Don’t be an asshole, CJ,” Ajax warned.

“Looks like pack business, Tully. We should step out and let them talk.”

“I told you earlier I was sober. Why would you…why would you…” He muttered, more to himself and hope flared like a firework. Bright, brilliant, and then gone.

Lloyd opened the door with a scowl. “I think it’s best you leave, but Tully will stay.”