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XAREX

Xarex knew who it was when she knocked on his door, but he told himself he shouldn’t let her in. It was better to make a clean break—to let the link between them gradually fade. To? —

“Xarex? I know you’re in there!” he heard Nora calling. “ You need to let me in and tell me what this weird barrier thing is you put in my mind!”

He felt a flash of surprised guilt—she was able to feel the metal barrier? Followed by a moment of clarity—clearly he wasn’t going to be able to avoid this confrontation.

Walking to the front of his suit, he tapped the door controls and the silver door panel slid to the side. Nora was standing just outside the door. She was wearing a long garment—either a coat or a robe—belted around her waist, and an exasperated expression.

“Come in.” Xarex stepped to the side to allow her entry.

She stepped into his suite and went to stand by the overstuffed couch where he’d held her and let her cry the other night.

“Come on—sit. We need to talk,” she said, nodding at the couch.

Warily, Xarex came to sit beside her.

“Yes? What would you like to talk about?” he asked, though he thought he already knew.

“First of all, this barrier or wall you put up between us.” She frowned up at him. “ Apparently since we had sex yesterday and you knotted me when we did, that means we’re ‘ Bonded .’ Is that right?”

“True.” Xarex nodded. He had decided that saying as little as possible and keeping his face and his words calm and measured would probably be the best strategy here.

“Okay, and from what I understand, Bonded mates, which is what we are now, are supposed to be able to hear each others’ thoughts.”

“Also true.” He nodded again.

“But I can’t hear your thoughts because of this barrier between us. Did you put it there?” she asked.

Xarex shifted on the couch.

“Yes,” he admitted. “ I did. As to why I did it, it was because I felt that maybe we should go our separate ways.” It was difficult to force the words out, but he had to say them.

“Why?” Nora leaned forward, looking at him with hurt eyes. “ I know we signed a contract that said we’d split after Anna was cured—which she is, thank God —but I thought maybe…maybe there was something else between us. I thought you might want to stay together.” She shook her head. “ But maybe I was wrong. Maybe now that you’ve had me, you don’t want me anymore.”

Xarex couldn’t keep the calm expression on his face any longer.

“Is that what you think of me?” he demanded. “ You think I’d discard you as soon as I got what I wanted sexually?”

“A lot of human guys would do that,” she said candidly. “ A lot of them just want sex with no emotional commitments.”

“That’s not how I feel at all,” Xarex told her. “ I would never leave you after you gave yourself to me. That isn’t why we need to ‘break up’ as you humans say.”

“I don’t understand…” She twisted her fingers together in her lap. “ Is it…is it because of Anna ? Because you don’t want to raise someone else’s child?” she asked quietly. “ If that’s it, then fine. Anna and I are a package deal— I won’t leave her to be with a man—not even one I’ve really started to…to care about,” she ended, lifting her chin defiantly.

Xarex felt like his heart was being put through a meat grinder.

“Do you really think so little of me?” he asked hoarsely. “ That I would want to leave you because you have a young one? I like Anna . When she put her little arms around my neck and asked me to be her ‘ Daddy ’ I felt emotions I didn’t even know I was capable of.”

Nora shook her head.

“Then I don’t understand. Why do you want to break up when we’re already Bonded ?”

Xarex saw there was no other way—he was going to have to tell her the truth.

“Because I don’t deserve you,” he said harshly. “ Not after the way I acted on Primus Nine .”

“You mean the, uh, sex show we had to put on?” Her cheeks got pink but she kept her chin up and her eyes locked with his.

“Yes.” Xarex ran a hand through his hair. “ I took you too roughly and I knotted you and filled you with my seed, even when you begged me not to.” He looked away. “ I let the W’rx side of me take total control. I’m no better than a Broken One .”

Instead of getting upset, Nora looked relieved.

“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere!” she exclaimed. “ Was I upset when you wouldn’t stop? Yes . But also it was the hottest and most intense sex of my life .”

“But I hurt you!” he protested. “ When I saw you restrained like that, tied down and helpless, I couldn’t stop myself!” He shook his head. “ I can’t be trusted to love you the way you deserve, Nora .”

“You’re forgetting something.” Her voice was gentle and she leaned forward again and put one small hand on his knee. “ That drink they gave us—the weird cinnamon-tasting liquid, remember?”

“Yes…” Xarex looked at her warily.

“Well, I think it must have been some kind of aphrodisiac,” Nora told him. “ Because it certainly had an effect on me. Didn’t you feel it, too?”

“I did.” Xarex frowned stubbornly. “ But it’s still no excuse for the way I used you.”

She blew out a breath and the exasperated expression came back to her face.

“Look, I asked you to help me get the Flower of Healing for Anna and you did. What we did was the only way to get it— I don’t think it would have let itself be picked for anything less than the most intense emotional output which is what we gave it— both of us.”

“But what if we stay together and it happens every time I take you? What if my W’rx half takes over and I hurt you?” Xarex couldn’t keep the fear and longing out of his voice. He wanted her so badly…but still feared he didn’t deserve her.

“I don’t believe you’d hurt me.” Nora knelt on the couch cushion and cupped his cheek in her soft little palm. “ Even when things got a little out of control yesterday, you didn’t actually harm me. Things just got…intense.”

Xarex felt torn.

“But if you bind yourself to me, you’ll be binding yourself to the darkness inside me,” he pointed out. “ Unless I go and get my emotion damper replaced, you’ll always have to deal with the W’rx half of me.”

Nora’s response was immediate.

“No, don’t do that! I want you to keep feeling!” she exclaimed. “ And as for the W’rx half of you, I know I can love it as much as I love the Kindred half of you.”

Her words stunned Xarex .

“You…love me?” he asked, his voice going hoarse again.

Nora looked into his eyes.

“I do,” she said softly. “ I never could have believed it even a week ago—you always seemed so big and scary and cold—like a robot. But after all we’ve gone through together, yes Xarex , I love you.”

“I want to love you too.” He could hear the desperation in his own voice. “ I just don’t want to hurt you, Nora ! I don’t want to be a Broken One .”

“Just because you like the idea of tying me up doesn’t make you broken,” she assured him. “ And I know you won’t hurt me. In fact, I’m willing to bet on it.”

Sitting back, she untied the garment she was wearing and shrugged it off.

Xarex bit back a groan when he saw what she was wearing.

It was a black lace garment that was basically see-through. He could clearly see her tight nipples pressing against the thin black fabric, which only fell to her upper thighs. And when she shifted, he could see she was wearing tiny black lace panties that matched. Her sweet pussy slit was clearly visible, making his mouth water to taste her again.

“Gods, ellana— why are you wearing that?” he groaned.

“Because I know you won’t hurt me.” Nora spread her arms, letting him see her lovely, curvy body—offering herself to him. “ I want you to make love to me, Xarex . Any way you want to. I want you to prove to yourself that you can be trusted.”

“But you’re so small…so delicate,” he protested. But already his hands were reaching for her, as though by their own volition. He cupped her heavy breasts and thumbed the nipples gently.

Nora moaned and arched her back, offering herself more fully.

“I won’t break,” she said breathlessly. “ And I’m not afraid of you.”

As if to prove her point, she straddled his lap and rubbed herself against him.

Xarex couldn’t hold back any longer. With a growl of pure lust, he pulled her close and took her sweet mouth with a hot, possessive kiss.

Nora moaned and kissed him back eagerly. Putting her arms around his neck, she threaded her fingers through his hair and rubbed herself against him, pressing her nearly bare breasts against his chest and grinding her soft little pussy shamelessly against the ridge of his cock.

Xarex felt the W’rx side of him rising dangerously hot and fast. He wanted to take her! Wanted to own her—to possess her completely. Never breaking the kiss, he gripped her wrists and pulled them behind her back before he could stop himself.

Then he realized what he was doing and pulled away from the kiss.

Nora was panting and looking up at him with half-lidded eyes.

“Why…why did you stop?” she demanded.

Xarex looked at her. He was still holding both wrists behind her back with one hand, which caused her breasts to thrust out even more.

“I don’t… I’m not sure if I can be gentle,” he growled, hearing the animal lust in his own voice.

“Then don’t be.” Her voice was a soft, teasing purr. “ I’m not afraid of you, Xarex — I can take it.”

Xarex found himself losing his resolve. But he had one more thought.

“In the human pornography I watched, they sometimes have what they call a ‘safe word,’” he said. “ I think if you had one of those?—”

“Primus,” Nora said promptly, before he could even finish.

Xarex raised his eyebrows.

“You mean…like Primus Nine ?”

She nodded.

“It’s not something I would just shout out in the heat of passion. And if I say it, you’ll know I want you to stop.”

“Well…” Xarex still hesitated. Should he take a risk? His W’rx side was still so close to the surface but it seemed that Nora truly wasn’t frightened of it—or of him. Then she said something that pushed him over the edge.

“Please, Xarex …make me be your good girl,” she purred. “ Make me submit to you and give you what you want.”

It was then that Xarex knew he was lost. He couldn’t hold back anymore—he had to have her. He just hoped he could take her without losing himself in the process.