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15

RAIN

Rain stared at the light above the darkroom door, its bright orange hue indicating that Mason was hiding in there, but Rain couldn’t be mad at him because he’d been hiding too.

Despite Mason’s distress during the fire and the tightness of his hold once Rain had been rescued, things remained tense between them. Jumping from a burning building had exacerbated Rain’s earlier humiliation, breaking him down and leaving him even more shaken and hurt, so he’d been avoiding Mason for days.

It seemed that Mason had picked up on Rain’s cues, giving him the space he wanted, and while they did need to talk things over, Rain couldn’t muster the courage to put himself out there again because another rejection would hurt ten times worse. While Rain still thought of Mason as the safest person he knew, the stars in his eyes didn’t twinkle as brightly anymore, and it left him lost and directionless.

Fur brushed against his leg and he bent down, scooping Mouse up with both hands because she’d gotten even bigger and fluffier. Mewing, she clung to him and he held her, stroking her under the chin as he contemplated the darkroom door.

“Do you think I should knock, girl?”

After the fire, Rain had been checked out by the EMTs and they’d deemed him lucky and rattled, but in good health. Mouse had instantly clung to him when he’d gotten home, sniffing and letting out mournful meows as if she knew what had happened, and she’d been his shadow ever since.

He didn’t blame her, because sulking in John’s office and ignoring the fire alarm had been extremely stupid. In his defense, the door had been left unlocked and the room was always empty, so Rain had crawled under the desk, trying to calm down, but Finn and Dylan had kept calling for him.

When the blaring sirens had started, Rain thought it was a game to get him to come out, until he’d started smelling smoke. By then it had been too late to use the hallway, and the sprinklers had been disabled for John’s indoor cigar, leaving Rain to roast alive.

He didn’t remember much after that, but whenever he closed his eyes at night he heard the whoosh of air in his ears from the fall. That entire day had been traumatizing and Rain still hadn’t fully processed it; he knew that isolating wasn’t the answer but he couldn’t help himself. Even now, he was still too wary and shaken to initiate a conversation with Mason, so he just drilled his eyes into the outside of the door, willing Mason to come out instead.

But he didn’t.

Sighing, Rain put Mouse back on the floor and went outside, lying down under the weeping willow. It had become a friend, a silent sentinel that shaded and supported him as he worked through his various problems, and Rain had found himself under its umbrella too many times to count. Winter lurked in the cold ground beneath him but Rain ignored its chill, looking up through the swaying yellow leaves and catching glimpses of the sky. The peace here was unmatched, and Rain wished that he could store it for troubled times. Letting that serenity wash over him, he sorted through his mind once again.

After years of chaos under his mother’s thumb, it was nice to be with someone so taciturn and stoic, but Rain needed Mason to open up a bit more. Even though their argument in the storage room had been a disaster, based on Mason’s reactions during the fire it seemed like he had strong feelings for Rain; however, it was all a matter of Mason admitting it.

Why did he want Mason to admit it? Why was he obsessing?

Absently playing with the end of his braid, Rain watched a small sparrow as it tried to land on one of the flimsy branches, realizing that he didn’t need to ask himself these questions because he already knew the answer.

He felt something for Mason.

Unlike all the other men Rain had been with, Mason didn’t want to conquer Rain’s beauty. He wanted to create with it and Rain didn’t mind being an inspiration. Besides, while quiet and odd in his approach to things, Mason hadn’t done anything malicious or mean to Rain, and he didn’t seem to have a creepy bone in his body. In fact, aside from letting Rain and Mouse stay in this beautiful house for free, Mason had been kind on too many occasions to count. He remembered Rain’s favorite order, he drove him safely to and from work, and he listened to Rain, holding him and letting him pour out his heart.

No one had ever done so much for him, and as Rain mulled that over he found that he did want to talk to Mason, right now. And since he’d started this awkwardness and avoidance, if he wanted it to end, then he needed to be the one to reach out.

Hopefully, Mason would take his hand.

Standing, Rain brushed leaves from his pants, the motion causing the little bird to fly away. Going inside, he hung up his jacket, taking in the open studio and darkroom doors. Crossing the main room, he glanced around trepidatiously. His old self would think being this careful around Mason was ridiculous but their connection was fragile and littered with cracks. One false step and what they had would shatter.

Quietly searching, Rain checked the bedroom and the studio first, listening for sounds from upstairs. This wasn’t the first or even the twentieth time that Mason had vanished, hunting throughout the house for an old piece of equipment or something that his grandmother had, and Rain closed the studio door, poking his head into the darkroom just to be sure that Mason wasn’t lurking silently out of sight.

Covering his nose to keep the vinegar scent at bay, Rain peeked behind the small table in the back but Mason was still nowhere to be found. The space was messier than the last time he’d seen it, with more stacks of pictures in the front, and Rain glanced at one of them, noticing that it was from the day of the fire.

Picking up the top photo, his eyes widened. Mason had captured the moment when Kate had cried out in pain, the pan hovering in midair a few inches away from her burned hand. The next picture was of the pan hitting the floor, and as he sifted through the pile it was like a flip book, the fire catching so quickly that the flames grew an alarming amount from one shot to the next.

But he shouldn’t be in here gawking and rummaging through Mason’s things, especially when he wanted to sit down and talk to Mason, risk his feelings, and give it one more try. Because like wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how Rain felt. While he’d previously thought of it as obsession on both sides, now he was contemplating a different four-letter word that held much more meaning.

Distracted, one of the photos fell from his fingers and he tried to catch it, clumsily dropping two more. Sucking air through his teeth, Rain crouched down, gathering them quickly, but one had landed in the doorway, and as he reached for it he noticed that the sheet behind the shelving unit was twisted up on the bottom corner, and there was something on the wall under it, something familiar.

Getting down on his hands and knees, Rain studied the small sliver of photo he could see and adrenaline blasted through his system.

Was that…his chin?

Limbs shaking, he pushed himself back up, dropping the photos on the table and taking things off the shelving unit without hesitation. It was all remarkably light and he managed to clear it all in under a minute, squinting at the screech as he pulled the metal shelves along the floor.

The sheet fluttered from all the motion and Rain grasped it in a trembling fist, taking a deep breath that he choked on as he ripped the cloth away.

What the actual fuck.

The entire wall, from floor to ceiling, was covered in pictures of him, and Mason had gotten artistic with the development because Rain looked downright angelic in some shots and alien in others. But why hide this? He’d wallpapered the rest of the room with photos why was this differ-

Alarm bells went off in Rain’s head as his eyes rested on a picture of his face in the middle of ecstasy, which wasn’t unusual. Mason had taken many close-ups of Rain during sex but the bit of background to the left of Rain’s head told him that this particular photo had been taken in the storage room.

There was just one problem with that. He and Mason had never fucked at The Pointe; however, Rain had participated in a storage-room threesome, and he remembered the eerie feeling of being watched. Because Mason had been there, hiding behind the stacked chairs, taking photos of Rain as he’d gotten railed. Photos that he’d developed here and put on this wall.

Rain jolted, his stomach twisting with nausea.

No…Mason was safe. He wasn’t a creep. He wasn’t like the rest of the men in Rain’s life. He was different…right?

The icy hand of realization squeezed Rain’s heart and cold began to spread throughout his body. How long had Mason been taking secret photos of him? Had he been stalking Rain? Was this all a manipulation, a plan? Did the exhibition even exist?

Was everything between them a lie?

Tears streamed down Rain’s face, and he didn’t notice that Mason had come downstairs until he heard an intake of breath and a thump. Looking up, he found Mason in the doorway, an ancient frame on the floor by his feet, and those wide sea-green eyes announced every shred of his guilt.

“Rain.” He took a step in and Rain scrambled back.

“No. Just…just no .” He pointed a finger at Mason and then moved it to the collage. “What the fuck is this?” He didn’t yell but his confused fury gave the words a hissing sound, and his hand shook as he ripped the threesome photo from the wall, pulling several others with it. “And what the fuck is this ? Were you following me? Is this all a game to you?”

“No,” Mason insisted, genuine panic on his face, his gaze shifting between the photos and Rain. “It’s not…”

“It’s not what , Mason? I need you to elaborate.” Dropping the photos to the floor, Rain tried to stop crying but the tears seemed endless. He’d given so much to this man, trusted him more than anything, and he’d been ready to take another chance, to put himself out there even though it might hurt.

But this was worse than rejection and the pain was overwhelming.

“I’m sorry,” Mason blurted as if he’d forced it out, and his fists clenched and unclenched. “I don’t play games. I wasn’t following you. I came back to The Pointe to pick up my reflector and I heard you.”

The memory of stepping on a small gold circle and then putting it on the banister at the bottom of the stairs flashed through Rain’s mind. So, that was Mason’s . “And you decided to sneak in and take pictures? That’s not normal, Mason.”

Eyes on the floor, Mason’s entire being seemed to droop. “I only took pictures of your face.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Rain wiped more tears away. “It’s still a violation.”

Mason snapped his gaze back to Rain, his mouth falling open. “I-”

“And so is this! How long has this been up? Since before I moved in?” Rain interrupted, gesturing at the wall as all the warmth he’d felt between them slowly froze over. Falling for Mason had been a mistake and Rain felt like a foolish hypocrite. He’d proudly spurned love because relationships never lasted and now he had the life experience to back that up.

“I’m sorry.” Mason bit his lip, telling Rain everything he needed to know.

“You already said that!” He raised his voice and Mason cringed. “You won’t tell me how you feel but you’ll build an altar to me?”

He’d been duped. Mason was the same as all the others and using Rain for inspiration was still using him; it was still seeing him as an object, and Rain hated the fact that everything he’d done here, everything he’d worked through and felt, all of the happy moments, were tainted. That collage now stood at the forefront of Rain’s mind, showing him the truth behind it all.

“I can tell you…” Mason’s voice was choppy and he shook, fear in his eyes. “How I feel.”

This was exactly what Rain had wanted from Mason but all of a sudden it didn’t matter.

“You know what, Mason? It’s too late” A distorted peace came over Rain as he detached, understanding that if he wanted safety, then he had to rely on himself. “I’m so tired of everyone being obsessed. You take pictures of me and use me as your muse, Bryce keeps trying to get back into my pants, Gage won’t leave me alone, and my mother wants me to be her puppet. And I can’t change. I can’t get away from it no matter how hard I try, and it’s exhausting. I want someone to like me for me and to see me as a person, not a thing to be fucked or manipulated.”

“I don’t see you that way.” Tone strong, Mason’s eyes flashed but it still had no effect.

“Right.” Rain pointedly stared at the wall and then let out a sigh, snapping into motion.

This conversation was over.

Sliding past Mason into the bedroom, Rain went on autopilot, grabbing his backpack and gathering his things.

“What are you doing?” Fear laced Mason’s words.

“I don’t feel safe here. I’m leaving,” Rain stated simply. He couldn’t stay, not after seeing the altar. If it didn’t have stalker photos and was just a fun collage from the time they met until now, this wouldn’t be a problem. But Mason had hidden the entire thing, which meant he knew it was wrong, and he’d had the absolute gall or stupidity to leave it up while Rain had lived here, not caring enough about him to dismantle it.

“Wait. Please.” Mason put a hand on the top of Rain’s bag and Rain yanked it away, trying to ignore the sting in Mason’s eyes.

“I…I can’t.” Turning his back, Rain moved around the room, gathering a second bag with Mouse’s things. Mason stood off to the side, giving Rain room, but he didn’t stop trying.

“I’ll take it down. I’m sorry. I want to tell you that-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Mason,” Rain stated softly, that detached sensation taking over and helping him not break down as he tried to find Mouse. She somehow knew what was happening and had crammed herself behind the shelving units, darting away when Rain found her. It took almost twenty minutes for him to finally stuff her into the cage and by then he felt like he was sinking into himself, staring out at the world from deep within.

Mason hovered on the edge of Rain’s perception, his face wrecked and full of emotion. In a way, Rain was glad this had happened; if that door hadn’t been left open, then he would’ve gone on feeling foolishly safe here, never knowing about the darkroom wall.

“Rain? Please. ” Realizing that he was truly on the verge of walking out, Mason came closer, his hands pressed together, as if in prayer. “Let’s talk. I want-”

“ You want,” Rain stated, his voice sounding like it came from far away, but it was steely enough to be heard over Mouse’s howling. He shouldered his bags, hefting the cage in one hand. After all this time at Mason’s, he still didn’t have much. Maybe things between them were always meant to be temporary, no matter how much he’d wished for the opposite. “Well, you don’t always get what you want.”

Mason looked like he was about to cry. “Rain-”

“I appreciate you letting me and Mouse stay here. Thank you for that. But whatever this was? It’s over.” Turning away, Rain unlocked the door and stepped outside, Mouse’s cries echoing his distant sadness. “Bye, Mason.”