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RAIN

“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving.” Rain tried not to cry, feeling like a child, because no matter how much sex he’d had he wasn’t a grown-up by anyone’s standards. He was a toddler adult, still finding his footing; it seemed like he’d only graduated yesterday, but as he neared twenty-one he had no idea what he was supposed to do with his life. Everyone else had dreams and ambitions but Rain hadn’t put much thought into that. His mother had kept him busy, even with Tristan buffering her, and now that buffer was going away.

“I’m sorry, kid.” Tristan gave him a small chuck under the chin. “But we all knew this was a long time coming.”

“Yeah, but seeing you here with your pack and poles, waiting for a cab? It’s real.” Rain’s sigh held weight. “I kind of thought you and Mom would be together forever.”

“You know what, Rain? Me too. I wanted to try, for you as much as Eve, but I can’t stay here anymore. I’m growing and changing and…” Tristan shifted, looking down at his feet.

“And she’s not,” Rain stated dully, knowing the feeling.

“I stayed a few extra years, for you.” Putting his hands on Rain’s shoulders, Tristan waited until their eyes met. “Remember, you are your own person, you do not have to stay tethered to her.”

Easy for him to say but Rain had no idea how to break away without his mom going scorched earth, because she’d broken every plate in the cabinets after Tristan ended things and they were still finding shards on the kitchen floor. Besides, Tristan was a real adult, with investments and a beard and a career in hospitality, so he had options. All Rain had was a minimum-wage job at the pizza place and an unstable mother.

“Okay.” He looked up the street again, disappointed but not surprised. Tristan had been in their lives for a decade and she couldn’t even show up to say goodbye.

“When I get back and find a new place? My door is always open. But you’ll land on your feet before then, I know it.” Giving Rain’s shoulders a quick squeeze, Tristan dropped his hands. “And it’s not like you won’t hear from me until September. I’ll have signal when I’m off-trail in towns.”

Rain brightened, reminding himself that he just had to stick it out until Tristan came back.

“Send me all the pictures.”

“I will.” Tristan gave him a sharp nod.

“I’m jealous. I wish I could go with you.” With the tip of his shoe, Rain poked at a weed growing through a crack in the cement.

“No, you don’t,” Tristan chuckled, stroking his neatly trimmed beard, and Rain wondered what it would look like by the end of the hike. “You hated sleeping in that shelter in the state forest.”

“Because it was raining and the shelter didn’t have a wall.”

“Well, it’s like that all the way up, except for New Hampshire. They have huts.”

A blue cab pulled up to the curb, idling. Both of them took a deep breath and Tristan dove in for another hug.

The concept of having a dad had been strange to Rain. Until he was ten, a host of uncles and mommy’s friends had paraded through his life but that had all stopped with Tristan, and over the years he’d become a father figure to Rain, a lifeboat to help him ride the waves of his mother’s instability.

But Rain was back to paddling on his own.

“Bye.” He blinked rapidly, still trying not to cry.

“Bye, kid.” Tristan gave him one final chuck under the chin and went to the cab, tossing his backpack in, which he’d be living from as he thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail. Quiet and calming, Tristan had been a nice balance for Rain’s mother but his needs had been bubbling under the surface for ages. He’d sacrificed a few years for Rain, the least Rain could do was allow Tristan the next six months; he more than deserved this adventure.

With another wave, Tristan got in and closed the door. The ticking of the blinker stopped and a few seconds later the cab pulled away.

Staring after it until the cold worked through his coat, Rain turned back to the house with a sigh, steeling himself for his new reality.

Snapping awake, Rain’s heart pounded out of his chest. Did his doorknob just rattle?

Getting up, he grabbed the pepper spray that he always kept beside his bed and padded softly to the door, pressing his ear against it. Voices echoed down the hallway, belonging to his mother and whatever loser she’d brought home after being gone for close to a week and a familiar nauseating fear shot through Rain’s system.

He hated not knowing who was on the other side of his tightly locked bedroom door. It brought up memories he’d rather avoid, reminding him that nothing was foolproof, so Rain pulled up a chair and stayed vigilant, trying not to listen as they babbled, got even drunker, and then fucked loudly in the bedroom before passing out.

Unfortunately, Rain fell asleep shortly after them. It was a non-consensual nap, sneaking up on him from being on high alert most of the night, and when he jolted awake light was pouring in through the windows. Cursing, he sat up, wiping drool from his mouth and cracking his neck.

Rain could hear them in the kitchen without needing to listen through the door and he glanced outside, wishing he lived on the first floor instead of the third. He was starving and he had to work today but his mother and her guest would be lounging around for hours. His best option was to escape sooner when they were hungover rather than later when they were wrecked and unpredictable.

Changing into jeans and a large shapeless black sweater that fell to his knees, Rain pocketed the pepper spray and grabbed his backpack, which was always ready with a few days of clothing and supplies. After another deep breath, he silently opened his bedroom door. He’d have to walk through the living room to get out and as he crept across it, making no noise whatsoever on the carpet, a slithery voice piped up from the couch.

“Look at you .”

Rain turned, keeping his face neutral. A tall man with round glasses, a dark bushy mustache, and unsettling eyes lounged on the furniture, giving Rain a look that made his skin crawl.

“Babeeee!” Rain’s mom squealed, coming in from the kitchen with two beers even though it was barely ten in the morning. Putting them on the table, she grasped Rain in a hug so tight that he winced. “Bay. Bee. I. Missed. You. So. Much !”

She hopped with each word, bringing Rain along with her, and he knew better than to be a brat. Returning the hug, he pretended to be happy once she pulled away.

“I missed you too.” He’d never win an Academy Award but his acting was good enough, and she smiled far too widely for someone who’d just ended a ten-year relationship.

“Baby, this is Gage.” She gestured at him proudly, as if he were some kind of prize. “He works at the bar on Fifth Street, that’s where we met.”

“So, he’s the one who was trying to get into my room last night?” One hand lingered in his pocket, wrapped tightly around the canister of mace, and Rain used it to ground him, to give him a sense of control.

With an oily smirk, Gage adjusted the collar of his stained polo shirt, and Rain’s ick meter pinned in the red. “I was trying to find the bathroom.”

Ignoring him, Rain turned to his mother. “Where were you? Tristan left and you didn’t even say goodbye.”

“Really?” Rolling her eyes, she picked up her beer, plopping herself in Gage’s lap. “Goodbye Tris!” She toasted the air.

“Goodbye and good riddance!” Gage clinked his bottle against hers and the derision in their laughter made Rain sick.

“I’m going out.” Heading to the door, he grabbed his coat. Thankfully, this winter hadn’t been too cold because he’d be walking around for a while. Even though he’d applied everywhere that he could, he’d do another circuit through town because he needed to make more money. Tristan had paid for the rest of the lease in full, covering the next sixty days, but after that, they were on their own. While his mother didn’t seem to care, it scared the hell out of Rain. They couldn’t afford much between his crappy paycheck and her routine of flaking out on jobs.

“Babeeee…” Speak of the devil, she stood right behind him. Turning, he tried not to sigh. Looking at her was like looking into a mirror. They were both small and lithe with the same long dark hair, sculpted features, and striking gray eyes, and age hadn’t put a dent in her for she looked barely ten years older than Rain, not the twenty she really was. “Can you pick Mommy up some pre-rolls at the dispensary please?”

“You have to give me your card.” He would definitely check her account and figure out where they stood, maybe treat himself to a hot chocolate on her while he warmed up somewhere.

She handed it over and he left without saying goodbye, staying out as long as he could. Disappointed in her bank balance he still grabbed a burger with it, applying to every restaurant and shop within walking distance, some of them for the third time, and when everything started closing, he headed back.

Sneaking in through the kitchen, he dropped her pre-rolls on the counter and crept through the house carefully, flooding with relief when he found only his mother in her half-empty bedroom.

Tristan had sold or thrown away most of his things and what he’d wanted to keep had been moved to a storage unit, so packing had been a regular occurrence. That’s why it took Rain a moment to realize that his mother was folding up her clothes and putting them into one of the boxes that were piled on the floor.

“What are you doing?” His palms started to sweat.

“Rainy!” The pair of jeans she was holding fell to the bed and she put her hands in the air, dancing excitedly. “Guess what, Baby? We don’t have to worry about an apartment because Gage asked us to move in with him!”

Swallowing, Rain held back his nausea.

“What?” he rasped out, his skin clammy.

“We have a new place to live!” She grabbed a few of the boxes, putting them in his hands.

He squinted at her, absently taking them. “How long have you been seeing Gage?”

“A few months…” she shrugged, going back to the jeans.

“Did Tristan know?” Rain’s voice started to wobble and he swallowed again, his hands shaking.

“Come on, Rain, it’s over .” Pulling a suitcase out of the bottom of the closet, she started packing that too.

Taking a deep breath, Rain tried to sound stern. “I’m not going to Gage’s.”

“Rain, Tris is gone and we can’t stay here forever. Do you have a better idea?” She sighed heavily, putting a hand on her brow, and Rain hoped that he hadn’t pushed her too far because if she got upset this would last another hour.

To be honest, she was right. He didn’t have a better idea and they’d had months to come up with a contingency plan.

But living with Gage was not a contingency plan.