Page 26 of Nothing to Fear (Wicked Games #1)

Asher

I know it’s a gamble to show up to the Corvus College rugby game, but I’m here anyway.

Did I purchase his jersey to wear tonight?

Yes. Did I wear it? No. I channeled my inner Silas, apparently, and let fear talk me out of wearing my man’s name to his game.

Even if the rest of the world doesn’t know he’s my man.

I take my seat at center field, a few rows above the home team bench.

It gives me a perfect view of the field and the sidelines.

I didn’t tell him I was coming tonight, not wanting to add to his nerves or get in his head.

I meant what I said to him, that we could take this slow, that I would go at his pace, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to hide in the shadows.

I want to see him play, so I’m here, and no one will be any the wiser.

For as popular as rugby is at Corvus, I’ve never been to a game.

Sports really aren’t my thing, and I’ve never had a reason to go until now.

I don’t know a single thing about rugby, and it’s honestly confusing as fuck, but what I do know is that Corvus is losing by halftime, and Silas is only physically on the field. His head isn’ t in it.

So, when Silas rushes to the sidelines, defeat etched into the soft skin of his face where my fingers were just tracing this morning, I know I have to do something.

Cupping my hands in front of my mouth, I stand up and yell as loud as I can, not giving two shits who’s around me. “Hey, slacker! Thought you were supposed to be the best?”

Silas looks around for a minute, his eyes going wild as he scans the crowd in front of him, and then he sees me, the corner of those lips I love to kiss so much turning up ever so slightly, his eyes glowing with excitement.

He’s quick to mask it, but I caught it. Happiness.

And if that doesn’t make my heart swell, I don’t know what would.

Silas Blackwood is happy to see that I’m here.

The second half starts, and my boy is a different person.

It’s like watching two halves find their whole.

He’s centered, present, calm, and confident.

He’s the man I’ve started to fall in love with.

Hell, he’s the man I am in love with. Which might sound batshit crazy, but when everything in life is pointing me in one direction, I trust my intuition, and it’s all in agreement.

Silas Blackwood is mine, and I’m his.

There are a few plays, the crowd getting louder and louder, feet stomping on the metal stands, screaming and hollering, cheering, and calling our numbers.

Adrenaline pumps through my veins as I join in, still not knowing what the hell is going on, but understanding enough to know Corvus has started to take back the game.

Watching Silas on the field is an awakening.

He’s exceptional and smart, quick on his feet—every movement is tactical and fluid.

He’s everything I already saw inside him, and it makes so much sense why he’s the captain leading this team.

His dad may have gotten him admission into Corvus, but Silas’ athletic ability is all him. He deserves his spot right here.

The forty-minute half goes by in a blur, with Corvus taking the win.

I jump from my spot, clapping with everyone else, when Silas stops mid-field to look my way, dipping his head in a silent nod to me.

He acknowledged me after his win, and while it wasn’t some grand gesture of love and outing himself to everyone around us, it was enough.

The after-party is wild. I guess winning the first game all season would be a good reason to lose your mind, but the turnout is intense.

I grab a soda from a cooler and look around for the pretty blond slacker who drove his team to the win tonight.

I have no doubt everyone will want to celebrate with him, and that he’s feeling like hot shit. He deserves it.

Watching him in his element, seeing him lead his team and his movements on the field, was incredible. My chest filled with pride watching him, and I can’t wait to show him how much when I get him alone later.

My eyes scan the crowd, popping the clip of the can and taking a long pull of the crisp soda. I’m lost looking for him, and I don’t notice when Parker takes up the side of me, his eyes on me while I search the throngs of people partying.

“Looking for someone?” Parker asks, pulling me from my task.

“Just checkin’ to see who’s here. You know how it is.”

“Do I, though? Looking for anyone in particular?” I ignore his attempt at digging.

“Maybe a certain blond, dickhole jock?” he adds after a moment. That gets my attention.

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth, Parker. Don’t talk about him like that!”

“Aaand there it is. You’re totally into him, you dumbass motherfucker,” Parker spits.

Fuck .

I told Silas we’d go at his pace, but Parker is intuitive as hell, and we’ve known each other a long time. He was bound to figure it out.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” The words taste bitter on my tongue as I lie to my best friend.

“Since when are you a liar?”

“I’m not a liar, Park. You just don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, I definitely do. I know you. And I know damn well you haven’t felt an attachment to anything other than this school, your goals, and your family.

Even I come after those three things. Until Silas Blackwood was forced in front of you.

You’re not the same as you were four weeks ago, and the only difference is him.

So, you gonna lie to me? Keep it to yourself?

Or finally tell me what the hell is going on so when shit does go down, I’m at least not in the dark and can properly have your back. ”

My head snaps back in his direction, reading his facial expression. Parker looks the same as he always does, his face passive and relaxed, but I know he speaks the truth. He wouldn’t lie to me, and I’m a dumbass for thinking I could lie to him.

“You’ll keep it between us?”

“I’ve already put it together, man. Just give it to me straight.”

“I fell for him. I’m obsessed. Everything about him is infectious. He’s soft in all the best places, and strong in all the rest. That man over there? That’s not the same man I’ve gotten to know. He’s putting on a well-rehearsed show for everyone because, well, he’s got his reasons.”

“Is he gay? Or is he fucking with you?”

“He’s gay, Park. If you repeat that, I’ll know it came from you because only I know. ”

“I wouldn’t. No matter how much I think he’s a douchebag. It’s actually been pretty nice seeing you distracted. There’s more to life than living in a book.”

“I need to find balance, because he consumes me. I feel borderline insane when I’m not with him.”

“I know what you mean. Why do you think I stick my dick inside any willing partner? It’s just to give me a reprieve from thinking of Mia.

” I sigh at his words. I should have known Parker wouldn’t freak out.

He’s always had my back and been a good friend the last few years.

“So, what are you going to do? Doesn’t seem like he’s ready to come out of hiding. ”

“I don’t know.” Because, truthfully? I don’t have a fucking clue. My eyes flick back to the subject of my thoughts just as he runs his thick fingers through his silky blond hair.

It’s a special kind of torture to be in the same room as Silas and not be able to touch him.

He’s mine. And I’m stuck standing here watching Leah Hamilton dry hump his side like a cat in heat.

The purpling skin on the side of his neck from where I sucked him raw is noticeable from here, and it makes me feel a sense of ownership and pride that he didn’t bother hiding. At least there’s that.

I stay hidden in the back, leaning up against a wall, continuing to sip on my soda when I wish it was alcohol for the first time in my life.

I never understood the desire to dim one’s senses and inhibitions until right now.

Silas throws his head back in a laugh at something someone in the group said, and jealousy starts to burn like a wildfire inside me.

I’m two seconds from storming over to him and plunging my tongue down his throat for all to see.

Instead, I finish my drink and toss the can into the recycling bin before heading out into the autumn air.

I’ve never been someone’s secret before, and if I didn’t feel so strongly about him, I’d walk away.

I can have empathy for his situation without being willing to put myself through the torture.

But with Silas, I’d walk through the fiery pits of hell if he were waiting for me on the other side.

The wind starts to howl and pick up the farther I get from Silas, and when I reach Crimson Keep, two ravens croak loudly from their perch on top of the large arch of the doorway.

“He doesn’t want me right now!” I yell to them with my arms splayed out wide.

I quickly look around, wondering if there are people around who just saw me talking to fucking birds like a psychopath.

The ravens croak in unison again, before flying off.

I watch them as they soar in the direction of Harrow House, and if I weren’t so intuitive, if I hadn’t majored and studied what I had, I’d think I was losing my mind.

I sigh loudly, letting my chin drop to my chest as I turn on my feet and follow them.

Signs are there for a reason, and I’m not one to ignore them.

While I thought all these signs were symbols of impending doom, everything has brought me to Silas, which has been anything but.

Unless we’re destined to end up like Romeo and Juliet, in that case, the harbingers are foreshadowing our untimely deaths.

Streetlamps flicker as I walk past them, as if completely in tune with my every move, and I roll my eyes. Maybe I am going mad.

I’m sitting in Silas’ desk chair, dozing off, when he walks in after one a.m.

“Holy shit! What the fuck?” he yelps as he jumps. “You’re here.”

“I’m here.”

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but how’d you get in here?”

“Broke in. ”

“Is that something you do . . . often?”

I shrug my shoulders as Silas sways on his feet. He’s drunk. I watch as he tries and fails miserably to peel his shirt off. His arms get stuck as he stumbles, bumping into his dresser and causing deodorant and cologne to fall over. I stand, determined to help him and not watch him suffer.

“Here, let me help you,” I whisper softly as I grab the fabric and lift it from his head.

“Thanks.”

“I’ve got you.” Silas beams a sad smile at me, one of longing and happiness. A mix that nearly breaks my heart. “How about some water and a shower?”

Silas nods as I pull a water bottle from his mini fridge and unscrew the cap. Taking his hand, I lead him to his bathroom across the hall and flick the faucet to start the shower.

“Drink. You need to flush the poison from your body.”

“Yes, sir.”

A growl works its way up my chest, causing Silas’ eyes to go wide and his eyebrows to rise.

After chugging some water, Silas moves to me, his fingers confidently tracing over the fabric between him and my dick.

My body responds naturally, hardening and lengthening, but as he starts to get bolder, I grab his wrist and slowly pull him away.

Hurt flashes behind his eyes, but I know he’ll understand and thank me tomorrow.

“Not like this, Si. Not while you aren’t in complete control. When I fuck you, it’s going to be when you know without a doubt who’s making you scream.”

Silas’ eyes flutter closed, and I use the opportunity to drop to my knees, unbuckling his jeans and dragging them and his boxer briefs down his legs. His hard, beautiful cock bobs free, smacking against his pelvis. He’s so goddamn tempting.

Ignoring it, I strip myself of my clothes and take his hand, pulling him into the shower with me.

The hot water pelts our skin, and I watch as Silas closes his eyes, letting the spray pass over his head and face, rivulets of water cascading down his beautiful features.

And hell, if he isn’t the most beautiful and equally maddening creature I’ve ever met. But he’s mine, and I take him as he is.

I take my time washing him, running my fingers through his thick, luscious hair, rubbing soap over every inch of his toned body. Silas moans softly at my touch, and I wonder if he’s ever had anyone take care of him before.

After our shower, we collapse into bed, too tired to do anything but lie next to each other. Silas throws his leg over my hip, my hand reaching out to push his damp blond strands out of his face.

“You played good. I’m proud of you,” I tell him honestly, happy to finally have him alone, and seeing his eyes much more sober than an hour ago.

“We haven’t won a game all season.”

“It was a good comeback. You all deserved the win.”

“My head wasn’t in it, and then I saw you in the stands and I suddenly had a reason for winning.”

Every ounce of jealousy, every bit of hurt, anger, and any other bullshit I was feeling the last few hours completely evaporates at those words. We fall asleep holding on to each other, and I hope like hell there’s a million more nights like this ahead of us.