Page 39 of Notes About Vodka (Happily Ever After Hangover #1)

We have been down this road before. Mom has an attack, I panic and try to save the day, she apologizes when she gets better, I forgive her. We keep in touch for a while, then we drift apart.

Only for the cycle to begin when the phones unexpectedly rings.

I squeeze her hand gently, trying to keep my own tears at bay.

"Mom, it's not your fault," I whisper back, my heart breaking for her. "We’re going to get through this. I promise. And you can’t control Daddy… He’s a grown man who makes his own decisions.

Same as you, because Mama, we have to start doing better. "

The words feel hollow, but I cling to them, hoping that somehow, if I say them enough, they’ll come true. I wish I could take away her pain, make everything okay again, but I know that’s not possible. All I can do is be here, hold her hand, and try to keep her grounded in the present.

A few hours later, James arrives, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm of emotions swirling inside me. He pulls me into a hug, holding me tightly. "We’ll take turns," he says firmly, looking me in the eye. "We’ll find a way to take care of her."

With James here, a plan starts to form. We spend the rest of the day talking with the doctors, discussing options, and making arrangements. By the time we leave the hospital, I feel a little more in control, even though the road ahead is still uncertain.

We were even able to get Nick on the phone to agree to let James park an RV at their home so he can stay when needed.

The sun is setting, casting a golden glow over the hospital parking lot, and I take a deep breath, letting the cool evening air fill my lungs. It’s not much, but it’s something—a small reminder that even in the midst of all this chaos, there are still moments of beauty, still reasons to keep going.

James gives me another hug before he leaves, promising to come back in the morning.

I watch him walk away, his figure disappearing into the fading light, and I feel a small spark of hope.

Maybe we can do this. Maybe, with James by my side, I can figure out a way to take care of my mom without losing myself in the process.

As I get into Skipper's car, I take one last look at the hospital, the windows glowing softly against the darkening sky. I know there’s still so much to do, so many decisions to make, but for now, I allow myself a moment of quiet.

I let the exhaustion wash over me, sinking into the driver’s seat, and close my eyes for a second, feeling the weight of the day finally catching up with me.

Back at the apartment, the sun has already gone down for the evening, yet the scent of fresh coffee greets me. I find Rhea in the kitchen, her back to me as she pours herself a cup. She turns when she hears me come in, concern etched on her face.

"How's your mom?" she asks gently, setting the coffee pot down.

"Not great," I admit, sinking into a chair at the kitchen table. "But James is going to help. We're figuring it out."

Rhea sits down beside me, taking my hand in hers. "I'm here for you, Laura. Skipper summarized what's going on. I know dealing with your mom isn't my specialty, but whatever you need, you know that. Best friends for life, no matter what."

"I know, Rhea," I say, feeling a fresh wave of exhaustion wash over me. "I just don’t know how I can handle all of this and try to divorce Sam at the same time."

"I get it," she nods, squeezing my hand. "But what about Val? I like him for you, but what’s actually up with you two? Not that I’m saying you shouldn’t move on, but Laura, you’re still technically married to Sam.

Even if he’s out there sticking his dick in anything that moves.

By the way, speaking of your Russian, Val says he’ll see you at work tonight.

He couldn’t stay but told me to tell you that he wishes you would have woken him up. He looked really upset Laura. "

Work, fuck, I forgot to call Dante and let him know I wouldn ’ t be there tonight either. I’m too exhausted.

Her words bring a fresh wave of tears, but this time, they’re tears of anxiety and relief—tears that come from knowing I'm not alone, that I have people who genuinely care about me and want to help. I have a support system—Val, Skipper, Rhea, James. I’m not alone in this.

But also tears because I can’t stop fucking up.

I should have explained better to Dante last night.

I lean into Rhea’s side, laughing through my tears. "You know something? Screw Sam. And honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing with Val."

Rhea smirks, nudging me playfully. "Well, at least tell me that sexy Russian got you off at least once last night while you were camping out in your room."

I roll my eyes, a small smile tugging at my lips. "I wish. But sadly, no."

Rhea laughs, her laughter infectious, and for the first time all day, I feel a little lighter. With my friends and family by my side, maybe I can face whatever comes next.

Speaking of, I pick up my phone and send Val a text.

Me: Hey, I’m sorry I left without waking you up. Just needed to take care of something with my mom. I’ll explain later.

I stare at the screen, waiting for the dots to appear, signaling that he’s typing. But nothing happens. I drop the phone onto the table and sigh, rubbing my temples.

I can feel Rhea watching me, her gaze heavy with unasked questions. She knows me too well. She knows when something is bothering me, and I appreciate that she doesn’t push. Instead, she just sits there, holding my hand, offering silent support.

The phone buzzes, and I jump, my heart racing. It’s Val. But instead of a text, he’s calling. I hesitate for a moment, my thumb hovering over the green button. I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t ready for this. But I answer anyway.

"Hey," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Laura," Val’s voice is sharp, more awake than I’ve ever heard him, and there’s a hard edge to it that I’ve never heard before. "What the hell, why didn’t you wake me up?"

"I’m sorry," I say softly, my stomach twisting into knots. "I didn’t want to bother you. I just… I needed to handle something on my own."

"Handle something on your own?" His voice is incredulous, and I can hear the anger simmering beneath the surface. "You don’t think I’d want to help you? Be there for you?"

I close my eyes, pressing my fingers to my temple. "It’s not that, Val. It’s just…my mom, she’s…"

"Yeah, Rhea mentioned something about her having issues that only you could explain," he interrupts, his tone clipped. "But why didn’t you tell me? Why did you just leave without a word? Do you know how that feels?"

The guilt washes over me, sharp and biting. "I’m sorry," I whisper again, my voice barely audible. "I just didn’t want to drag you into my mess. I thought I was protecting you."

"Protecting me?" He lets out a bitter laugh. "Laura, I’m not some fragile flower. I can handle it. I want to handle it. But you shutting me out like that…that’s not okay. I need to know what’s going on. I need to know where I stand."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I didn’t realize he felt this way, that he was so affected by my actions. I hadn’t considered how much it must hurt him to feel left out, to feel like I didn’t trust him enough. "Val, I?—"

He cuts me off, his voice firm. "I don’t want excuses. I want an explanation. Why did you think it was okay to leave like that without telling me? Why do you keep pushing me away?"

I’m silent for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts, to find the right words.

I want to explain myself, but everything feels tangled, like my emotions are knotted together and I can't pull them apart. How do I make him understand without pushing him further away? But I don’t have an answer.

Not a good one, anyway. "I don’t know," I admit finally, my voice small. "I just… I don’t know."

There’s a heavy silence on the other end of the line, and I can feel the weight of his disappointment, his frustration.

"Alright," he says finally, his voice calmer, but still tense. "I get it. You’ve got a lot going on. But, Laura, I need you to figure it out. I need to know if you’re in this or not. I can’t keep doing this back and forth."

My heart sinks at his words, and I feel a fresh wave of tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. "I understand," I whisper, my voice trembling. "I’ll… I’ll figure it out. I promise."

"Good," he says, his tone softening slightly. "And Laura?"

"Yeah?"

"I care about you. More than you know. Don’t forget that."

His words linger in the air, wrapping around me like a blanket. The sincerity in his voice cuts through the fear, and for a moment, I feel like I can breathe again. "I won’t," I whisper, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I care about you too, Val."

We say our goodbyes, and I hang up, promising to see him tomorrow. Staring at the phone in my hand, I feel lost, confused by Val’s reaction.

Part of me understands where he’s coming from, understands that he wants to be there for me, that he cares. But another part of me is scared, unsure of what to do next, how to let him in without dragging him into the chaos of my life.

Sam never cared like this… It’s all so new, and weird. Even though I like the attention.

Rhea squeezes my hand, and I look up at her, blinking back tears. "He’s right, you know," she says gently. "You’ve got to figure this out, Laura. You can’t keep running away from it."

I nod, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "I know," I say, my voice shaky. "I know he needs to know. I'm just...scared of what might happen if I do. Not now. Not yet."

Rhea nods, understanding. "Okay. But soon, okay? You can’t keep holding onto all of this by yourself. It’s not healthy."

I nod again, knowing she’s right. Knowing I have to face this sooner or later. But for now, I just want a moment to breathe, to think, to figure out what the hell I’m going to do next.

Rhea gets up, moving to the counter to pour another cup of coffee. The rich aroma fills the kitchen, the soft sound of the coffee trickling into the mug adding a sense of calm to the room.

I take the moment to send Dante a quick text.

Me: Hey, Dante, my apologies to reach out via text, but I need to take tonight off as well. If needed, I can get you a doctor’s excuse or something.

Immediately to my surprise, I get a reply.

Dante: It’s all good, Laura. Val mentioned that you were under the weather. Feel better.

Me: Will do and thanks. I’ll make sure to pick up some extra shifts later this week.

Dante: Please do. Tony is having a heart attack trying to get someone in to cover your shift.

Me: My apologies

Dante: It’s all good, just take care of yourself

Thank goodness Dante is a great boss. And Tony can get over himself. There are always extra staff showing up every night to help out or cover a song to make some extra money.

Rhea comes back over with a cup of coffee. She hands it to me, and I take it gratefully, wrapping my hands around the warm mug .

"You know," she says, her tone lighter now, "you don’t have to have all the answers right this second. But you do need to start somewhere. Val cares about you, and I know you care about him too. He deserves to know where he stands. Stop keeping secrets woman."

I sigh, nodding. "I know. I just… I’m scared, Rhea. Everything is such a mess. My mom, Sam, the divorce, and then Val… it’s all just too much sometimes."

Rhea sits back down beside me, her eyes softening. "It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to not have everything figured out. But you’ve got people who love you, who want to help. You don’t have to do it all on your own."

Her words make me realize just how much I’ve been trying to shoulder everything alone, and it hits me how comforting it is to hear that I don’t have to. I feel a mixture of vulnerability and relief at the thought that I can let others help, that I don’t need to have all the answers right now.

I take a sip of the coffee, the warmth spreading through me, and I let out a shaky breath. "You’re right. I just… I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to drag Val into all of this."

"Laura," Rhea says, her voice gentle but firm, "Val wants to be in your life. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t. You’re not a burden. You’re someone he cares about, deeply. Let him in. Let us all in. You’re stronger than you think, but you don’t have to be strong alone."

I feel the tears welling up again, and I blink them back, nodding. "Okay. I’ll try. I promise, I’ll try."

Rhea smiles, leaning over to press a kiss to my temple. "That’s all anyone can ask for. One step at a time, okay?"

I smile through my tears, a small but genuine smile, "One step at a time."

We sit there in the kitchen, the warmth of the coffee and Rhea’s presence making everything feel a little less overwhelming. I can face chaos, I can let people in, and I can figure out what I want with Val. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to happen overnight, but I’m willing to try.

Rhea stands up, stretching her arms above her head. "Alright, enough heavy stuff for now. How about we put on some terrible reality TV and forget about everything for a little while?"

I laugh, the sound surprising me with its lightness. "That sounds perfect."

We move to the living room, settling on the couch, and Rhea grabs the remote, flipping through the channels until she finds something suitably ridiculous.

I lean back, letting myself relax, letting myself forget for a little while.

The weight of everything isn’t gone, but it doesn’t mean I stop moving, going forward with life.