Page 22 of Notes About Vodka (Happily Ever After Hangover #1)

Chapter Twelve

LAURA

"Vodka may fuel the night, but it's the music that moves our souls and the friends beside us who make every moment unforgettable."

Inside the apartment, I find Rhea and Skipper lounging on the couch, half-watching a movie that flickers softly on the TV screen. The instant I step through the door, their heads snap up, eyes filled with concern. They must sense the heaviness in my footsteps, the weight in my gaze.

"Hey, you okay?" Skipper asks, his voice soft and tentative.

I nod, my mind swirling with thoughts and emotions. "Yeah, just tired," I mutter, my voice strained, as if it could crack at any moment.

I head towards my room, desperate for solitude, to process everything that’s happened tonight, but before I can shut the door, Skipper’s voice cuts through the silence again. "Laura, about Sam… I didn’t think?—"

I whip around, the frustration and anger I’ve been burying all evening finally bubbling to the surface. My chest tightens, and I can feel my pulse hammering in my ears.

"Why did you even let him come up and visit?" I snap, my voice louder than I intended. "I don’t care how much he begged you, Skip. You know what he’s like!"

Skipper’s face falls, and he looks down, his shoulders slumping under the weight of my words. "I thought he just wanted to talk, to try and make things right. I didn’t know it would get like this," he says quietly, guilt clouding his eyes.

"Next time, don’t listen to him," I say, my voice firm. "I’m done letting him control my life. I just... I’m really glad you were here."

Rhea stands up, crossing the room to place a comforting hand on my arm. Her touch is gentle, a reminder that I’m not alone. "We’re here for you, whatever you need," she says, her voice soothing.

I nod, swallowing back the lump in my throat. The exhaustion is bone-deep, but there’s a flicker of relief too, knowing I have them by my side.

Sneaking off to my room, I lock myself inside.

Taking my old headphones, I plug them into my keyboard and start playing.

The comforting weight of the keys under my fingers and the familiar melodies surround me.

Even with two keys missing from the high notes, I can still lose myself to the magic of old Disney songs.

The music fills the silence, each note soothing the chaos in my mind.

Before I crawl into bed that night, I take a moment to meditate, focusing on my breathing and letting go of the tension that’s been building inside me. I think about my decisions and my new life here in New York.

It’s not perfect, but it’s mine, and I’m doing my best to make it work.

I can’t stop thinking about Val. There’s a new feeling stirring inside me, something that feels a lot like hope, something I haven't felt in a long time. It’s terrifying but also exhilarating—like standing at the edge of something new, something that could be wonderful if I let it.

I need to avoid him, but there’s something about Val that just captivates me. He makes me feel like I could be more, like maybe I deserve to be happy again.

The next morning, I wake up to the smell of bacon and pancakes wafting through the apartment. I follow my nose to the kitchen, where Rhea and Skipper are busy setting up an at-home brunch spread, complete with mimosas. I can’t help but smile at their efforts.

"Surprise!" Rhea sings, grinning from ear to ear. "We thought you could use a little cheering up."

"Yeah, you’ve had a rough few days," Skipper adds, flipping a pancake with a flourish. "Consider this a 'we love you' brunch."

As we sit down to eat, the conversation drifts from light-hearted topics to something more serious.

Rhea looks at me, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

"So…about Val," she starts, drawing out his name. "The way he looks at you in chemistry, girl, he’s definitely falling for you. You can see it in his eyes. Like when you answered that question about molecular bonding last week? He couldn’t stop smiling.

And remember when you spilled your coffee and he handed you his napkin before anyone else even noticed?

Or even the other night at Pianissimo , he kept his eyes on you and only you even though Sam was there. "

I feel my cheeks heat up at the mention of Val. "I don’t know," I mumble, suddenly finding my plate very interesting. I remember that, he even gave me his coffee to finish. Now I am starting to feel real bad for possibly overreacting yesterday morning over a latte.

"Come on, Laura," Skipper chimes in, his tone encouraging. "You deserve to be happy. To go for it with Val, even if you’re still in the middle of divorcing Sam. You know, a fresh start."

Rhea nods in agreement, her expression softening. "But you also need to be honest with him. No lies, all truths. I know it’s hard, but it’s the only way to build something real, Laura. He deserves to see all of you, even the parts you're afraid to share. Even the parts we don’t know about."

I swallow hard, feeling the knot tighten in my stomach, twisting like a vice. The thought of telling Val everything, of laying my darkest moments bare, terrifies me. The fear grips me like a hand around my throat, squeezing until I can barely breathe.

It's this kind of fear that always brings back the darkest memories. I can’t help but think about the miscarriage last Valentine’s Day.

The image of blood on my hands flashes through my mind—bright, startling red.

I wasn’t even aware I was pregnant. Sam had looked at me with those cold, accusatory eyes and asked if it was even his, his words cutting deeper than any blade.

It didn’t matter that I hadn’t been with anyone else in over a year, not since I’d told him I didn’t want to be a swinger anymore.

I thought he’d understood, but the truth was, he never did.

The loss of the baby, something I hadn’t even known I was carrying, shattered something inside me.

Broke me in ways I’m still piecing together.

It’s why I really left home, why I ran halfway across the country to NYU with Rhea and Skip.

Why I’ve tried so hard to start over, to bury the past where it can’t hurt me anymore.

There’s a sharpness to the fear, a feeling of being laid bare, vulnerable, that makes me hesitate.

“There are some things I just… I don’t want to share,” I say quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. My words hang in the air, fragile and uncertain. “Not with Val. Not yet. Maybe, not ever…”

Rhea reaches across the table, gently pouring me a mimosa. The champagne bubbles up, fizzing over the rim slightly, and she hands it to me with a soft smile. "Here, it’s okay Laura," she says, her voice calm, soothing. "Drink. It might help."

I take the glass, my fingers trembling around the stem. I take a sip, the cold liquid sliding down my throat, but it does nothing to ease the tightness in my chest. I glance at Skipper. He’s watching me closely, his brows furrowed, concern etching lines across his forehead.

"But keeping it all inside, it’s going to hurt you eventually, Laura. Trust me." His voice is steady, but there’s a tremor of worry there. "It’s better to be open, especially if you’re thinking of letting Val in, even a little bit."

I shake my head, my grip tightening on the glass.

"I’m not ready for that. Some things need to stay in the closet, a secret," I insist, my voice firm, but there’s a hint of desperation there too.

"Like the miscarriage. Or the time I had to drop out of school because my grades tanked from partying too hard with Sam. What about the spinal meningitis that led to my diagnosis and the rods they had to put in my back. Or my mother and her issues. Don’t get me started on the rest of my family.

These are all things I’ve kept locked away, buried deep where no one can find them.

Where they can’t be used against me. They’re my burdens to bear, not Val’s.

How could I ever lay that kind of weight on him? "

Rhea leans in, her eyes searching mine. "But isn’t that what a relationship is about, Laura?

Sharing the good and the bad? The light and the dark?

" She pauses, letting her words sink in.

"Val deserves to know the real you, not just the parts you think are safe to share. He seems like someone who would want all of you, even the parts you’re afraid to show. "

I look down, my vision blurring with unshed tears. "I don’t know if I can," I whisper. "It’s too much. I’m too much."

Skipper reaches out, covering my hand with his. "You’re not too much, Laura. Not for us, and not for Val. He seems like a good guy. Maybe he’s stronger than you think."

I swallow, trying to push back the tears that are threatening to spill over. "I just… I don’t want to scare him away. I don’t want him to see all this darkness and decide it’s not worth it."

Rhea squeezes my shoulder gently. "If he really cares about you, he won’t see it that way. He’ll see it as a part of who you are, a part of the person he’s falling for."

I take a deep breath, the weight of their words pressing down on me. I want to believe them, believe that Val could look past all my scars and see the person underneath, but I’m not sure I’m ready to take that risk. Not yet.

"I just need more time," I say finally, my voice barely a whisper. "I need to figure things out first."

Rhea and Skipper nod, understanding in their eyes. "Take all the time you need," Rhea says softly. "We’re here for you, no matter what."

I nod, trying to force a smile, but it feels weak, unsteady. I’m grateful for them, for their support, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, one step away from a fall that I might not survive. And I don’t know if I’m ready to take that step yet.