Page 32 of Not that Sea-Rious

Beau

T hat didn’t go as planned. Beau had screwed everything up. He and Marissa had enjoyed a fantastic long weekend aboard the cruise ship. Then he went and ruined it by talking about what would happen when they disembarked.

Rookie mistake. He’d been out of the game for too long. Being honest this early was never good. He knew better. If there was any potential for life after the boat, it was gone now. All because he couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut and overshared.

What was he thinking?

Obviously, he hadn’t been. Now he’d made a mess of their—what the hell was he supposed to call it?

A situationship? Maybe? Whatever they were doing, he’d ruined it.

Their last night together and things were awkward as hell.

No amount of daiquiris or martinis was going to fix the vibe between them.

He probably should excuse himself after dinner.

Maybe he could say the food didn’t sit right with him or something.

She’d see through that lie. She was smart.

They’d had the same meal, and it was divine.

She’d never believe he’d gotten sick from it.

He had to roll with the rest of the evening regardless of how uncomfortable it would be.

It was only a few hours. He’d endured worse for longer.

Like that root canal he had last year, where the dentist hadn’t given him enough Novocain.

Yeah. This was totally the same thing.

He was such an asshole. If he could, he would’ve crawled under the table or chucked himself out of the window to drown in the endless ocean. Unfortunately, for both of them, he had to remain for the silent dessert.

Why had he done that? He was an absolute moron.

As he ran through the gamut of possible excuses he could tell to get out of the rest of the evening so he could lock himself in his cabin for the last few hours of the cruise, the two of them boarded the elevator.

Keeping his head down, he counted the minutes before they could part ways. He could say he hadn’t already packed his bags for the porter to take. That wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities. It was a lie, but he could still claim it.

“Listen.” Marissa turned toward him, interrupting his internal rehearsal of the fib.

Holding his breath, he braced himself.

“I don’t want the last few hours we have together to be like this. It’s too weird and doesn’t do justice to the time we shared.”

That seemed like a good opening, so he slowly exhaled. He nodded. “Me either.”

“What you said in there was so honest and beautiful. I panicked. Which was wrong and unbelievably not remotely what I feel at all.” Marissa’s words came fast and high-pitched.

The urge to soothe her anxiety prickled in his arms, but he stood still and waited for the “but.” It had to be coming.

No one came off an uncomfortable conversation like they had without using those three letters.

He only hoped whatever she’d say wouldn’t make him want to crawl out of the nearest porthole.

“You live in Florida. I’m from New Jersey.

I’m going back there next week. So, yeah, in theory, we could keep this going for another few days because I’ll be sticking around.

” She took a deep breath. “Listen. I’ve done the long-distance thing before.

It’s never panned out, and I know you can say that no relationship works out until you find the one that does. ”

Beau lifted his brows in surprise. Apparently, she’d thought about this a lot over the few days they’d shared. She must’ve had this conversation several times in her head because she seemed to be familiar with both sides of it already.

Good. The less he spoke, the better. For now, he’d stay silent and let her work it out.

“But at the same time, you didn’t say relationship. You wanted to have me in your life. You didn’t clarify in what capacity. So, maybe I am putting the cart before the horse.”

She spoke so fast it was as though she were racing the elevator, hoping to end this conversation before the doors opened. He didn’t want to interrupt her train of thought, so he kept listening.

“At this point, it’s been—what? Three days? Can I really sit here and demand what you meant? That would be like asking you to define our relationship.”

She laughed, an eerie, nervous chortle that bordered on maniacal.

He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do at that moment. All he could think to do was to remain a statue in hopes not to startle her and see where this talk went.

“What rational person would do that? Where are we going? What are we doing? Nothing. We’re simply enjoying the little time we have left together—”

Okay. Now he had to say something.

Beau stepped toward her and took hold of both of her hands. “Shh,” he soothed, interrupting her spiraling. “I’m not asking that. You aren’t either.”

Frowning, she blew out a breath and peered at him through her lashes.

Offering her a weak smile, he met her gaze. “Let’s take baby steps, okay?”

As she nodded, the door to the elevator opened, and their privacy ended.

After a quick squeeze, he released one of her hands and led her out into the hallway.

Glancing around, he noted they were near what the ship had generously labeled their “library.” It was a small room with a table in the middle and a few chairs.

There weren’t even any books. What kind of library didn’t have books?

A question for another day.

It was empty, obviously. Who would go there? It was just a private space. Once inside, he waited for the door to close before he gestured for her to sit. As she did, he took the seat beside her.

“We’re supposed to meet up with Carolyn and the others for karaoke, but I feel like we should continue this conversation.”

“Yeah.” She fingered one of her long decorative earrings nervously.

She didn’t need to be that anxious. He was pretty sure they were on the same page. She just didn’t know it yet. “We’re saying the same thing.”

Marissa cocked her head to the side.

“We like each other?” It was a statement, but his upward inflection allowed it to be interpreted as a question.

Smiling, she licked her bottom lip. “Of course.”

“See? We agree.” He patted her hand. “That wasn’t hard. We both would like to spend more time in each other’s company after the ship docks. Yes?”

Her face fell into a frown, and she chewed on her bottom lip.

Beau held up a hand. “Now. Get out of your head. I didn’t ask if it was possible or what it would mean. I’m just saying I enjoy being around you. Do you like being around me?”

“Yeeees.” She drew out the answer and added a bit of suspicion to it.

“In a perfect world,” he prefaced his question. “Would you like to see me again on dry land?”

Her smile returned, and she rolled her eyes through a snort of a laugh. “Yes.”

Now they were cooking with gas. It was a lot easier to have this conversation than to imagine it. Communication was a miracle. “You’re going to be in town for another week?”

She nodded.

Considering he was currently between residences, that made his position pretty flexible. “Where are you staying? In what area?”

“Clearwater.”

Well, that would be a punch to his wallet, but he’d make it work. Marissa was worth it. “Same.”

Her brows lifted. “Wait. You’re from Clearwater?”

He chuckled. “No, but I can be.”

She furrowed her brows.

It made him laugh again. “Remember that whole walked in on my fiancée thing?”

“Oh.” Her expression softened into one of pity.

That was definitely not what he wanted. So he took hold of her hand again and squeezed. “It’s better I found out now and not after a big ceremony. But the point is, I’m essentially a nomad. I can be wherever I want to be.”

“What about your job?”

He shrugged. “It’s mostly remote. I visit a few locations in person, but they are all within driving distance of Clearwater.

I think one is on the beach. Anyway. As a managing consultant, I’m not employed by one particular organization.

I’m independent. It all comes down to contacts.

The parent corporation will contact my company, and I work with them on their franchise locations to make sure they are profitable and following the parent business’s rules. ”

He could see that her eyes had glazed over. Somewhere in his explanation, he’d lost her.

“Basically, what I’m saying is I can be anywhere there are franchises, which is everywhere.”

“Huh.” She sat back, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. “Interesting.”

Leaning forward, resting his forearms over her knees, he studied her. Which really didn’t give him any insight as to what went on in her mind. From what he could tell, she continued to process his words. He had to offer her the opportunity to do that.

“So you’re going to move to Clearwater?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I have nothing keeping me in Tampa. My family is in Minnesota. I’m a rolling stone.”

She hummed and stared ahead of her.

More silence.

He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. It could go either way. Though, the fact that she continued to sit with him had to be positive.

Doing his best to allow her opportunity to consider and weigh her options, Beau’s knee bounced.

He wanted to keep going, but this seemed to catch her.

Though, if he were on the receiving end of what he’d said, it would sound odd.

He just told her he would basically go where she was.

Nothing creepy about that at all. Best to proceed with caution.

When he couldn’t take it anymore, he reached for her and rested his hand on her knee. “Are you okay?”

Smiling, she faced him. “Yeah. I’m…” She pointed to her temple and made a circular motion with her fingers.

“All I’m asking is if you would like to see me again after the ship docks. It could be once or twice, or seven times. I don’t care. I just want to know if you’re open to it.”

Licking her bottom lip, she took a deep, audible inhale. “Yeah.” She nodded. “I think I am.”