Page 144 of Not Quite Dead Yet

Sophia turned to Billy, opened her mouth, stalactites of spit stringing between her teeth.

‘Sophia, don’t!’ Jet pushed her back, one-handed, driving her elbow into Sophia’s ribs.

She shoved Jet away, too hard, her back slamming against the Range Rover.

Sophia’s eyes found Billy, locked on.

‘Do you know?’ she asked him.

‘Billy, don’t listen!’ Jet shouted. ‘Come on, we need to go!’

Billy looked at Jet instead, eyes reacting to the terror in hers, darkening.

‘Please don’t listen,’ Jet begged him, the tears prickling her eyes, forced up by the guilt churning in her stomach. ‘Let’s go.’

‘Do you know the real reason your mom abandoned you?’ Sophia said, almost with a smile.

‘Sophia, please stop!’ Jet begged her now, caught between the two of them, trapped.

‘What do you mean?’ Billy said, voice wavering and small.

Jet blinked, memorized the way Billy’s eyes brightened just for her, saved it, because they wouldn’t anymore, not after this.

‘It was Jet’s fault,’ Sophia said, enjoying this. ‘She’sthe reason your mom left.’

‘Sophia, stop!’ Jet shouted, even though it was far too late; she could tell by Billy’s face, that storm in his eyes, that coldness. ‘Billy.’ She reached out for his hand.

He didn’t take it. His shoulders tensed.

‘What did you do?’ he whispered, speaking to Jet, looking at Sophia.

‘I didn’t mean to,’ Jet said. ‘I didn’t know she’d –’

‘– Jet went to her after school, our junior year. Asked Mrs Finney to cheat for her, to raise her grade on an extra-credit assignment. Guilted her into doing it, manipulated her and –’

‘– That’s not …’ Jet cut her off, lost her way, looked at Billy to find it again. ‘I just, I needed a 3.5 GPA, otherwise I wasn’t going to get into Dartmouth. And I had to go to Dartmouth, because that’s where Emily … I just needed this one assignment in precalculus to be graded higher, that’s all.’

‘We planned it out.’ Sophia stepped forward. ‘Me and Jet, what she was going to say to bully your mom into cheating for her. Jet thought using her dead sister was the best way to –’

‘– Shut up, Sophia.’ Jet wiped her face, standing in front of him, making Billy look at her instead. He should hear it from her, not Sophia, who was using her words as a weapon, trying to hurt them both, and doing it with a smile. ‘I did. I did talk about Emily, told your mom why I had to get into Dartmouth. And then, I repeated that thing I’d overheardmy mom say. That she’d asked your dad to check in on Emily and Luke that day. I said I wondered how different life would be, if he had, if Emily was still here. I know it was wrong, it was horrible. I thought that if your mom felt guilty, about Emily, then maybe she’d help me.’ Jet sniffed. ‘I didn’t realize she’d get so upset. She burst into tears. I went too far, I didn’t realize … I’m so sorry, Billy. I’m so sorry.’

She reached for him again.

Billy stiffened, stepped back. He shook his head, his watery eyes now wet, blinking tears that raced to his chin.

‘It was the same day,’ Sophia said, taking aim again, ‘that she packed her bags and left you. Jet did that. She’s the one who drove your mom out of town. Maybe she wasn’t the whole reason, but she was the final straw.’ Sophia laughed, hollow and cruel. ‘You’ve been in love with her since you were a kid, and you never knew she’s the one who ruined your life!’

Jet blinked, that one getting her straight through the chest, another black hole.

‘I’m so sorry, Billy. I’m so sorry.’

Billy’s breath shuddered, stepping back from her again, toward the street, tears splitting across his lips as they parted.

‘Did she do it?’ he asked, not looking at Jet, looking at the sky instead. No stars, just clouds. ‘Did she change your grade?’

Jet’s chin buckled, her bottom lip shaking. ‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Billy, I’m –’

‘– I can’t believe it.’ Billy ran a hand over his face, catching the rest of his tears. He wasn’t shouting, not even now. A hurt too deep for that. ‘I spent the last ten years of my life wondering why she left us. If I was really that unlovable that my own mother couldn’t even …’ He choked it back, wipedagain. ‘And you just … you knew, Jet, and you didn’t … And it’s you.You!’ he finally shouted, voice breaking in half, Jet’s heart with it.