Page 135 of Not Quite Dead Yet

‘This way,’ she said, following her gut, crossing the street again, toward The Green in the center of the oval road. Patches of grass trampled into mud from the Halloween Fair, six days ago tonight.

They walked under the burnt-orange trees, sugar maples, branches shivering but not cold, and not scared, even though it was late and Jet and Billy were the only ones here.

Jet looked up, spotted it just in time. Reached out with her hand, her only hand. The falling leaf whirled, sailing the breeze, round and round and down, falling into Jet’s open palm.

She closed her fingers around it, a perfect amber leaf.

Billy grinned. ‘That’s supposed to be good luck,’ he said.

Jet grinned back. ‘Then you keep it.’ She offered it out.

Billy wouldn’t take it, shook his head.

So Jet didn’t give him the choice. ‘Please,’ she said, sliding it into his pocket.

Billy patted his jacket, a silent kind of thank you.

Jet looked up again, beyond the leaves, to the dark sky above. Not really all that dark, actually, little silver pinpricks of stars winking down at her.

‘What are you looking at?’ Billy craned his neck. ‘Trying to catch another one?’

‘Well, you’re gonna need all the luck you can get, Billy,without me here to look out for you.’ She sniffed. ‘Actually, I was looking at the stars. People do that too, huh? No reason. Just nice to look at.’

‘Yeah,’ Billy said, but he wasn’t looking at the stars, he was looking at her.

Jet didn’t warn him. She dropped down, sat back, the grass wet through her jeans.

‘Whoa, you OK?’

‘Yeah.’ She went all the way, legs out, resting her head back on the grass, not too hard against the bandage and the throbbing inside. ‘I’m just laying here,’ she said.

‘Why?’ Billy said, immediately joining her, his head close to hers, legs pointed the other way. Their own little mismatched triangle.

‘Because I wanted to.’ Jet stared up. Could you always see this many stars here? Jet had never bothered to really look up before, to try counting them, just because.

‘I was thinking,’ Billy said. ‘Nina said it was a secret that Dianne knew but her family doesn’t, so maybe it wasn’t your parents Emily overheard but –’

‘– We don’t have to talk about it,’ Jet spoke across him.

‘What?’

‘That.’

‘OK.’ Billy nodded, grass blending with his dark hair, too straight among the curls. ‘What do you want to talk about?’

‘Anything. Anything at all.’

Jet counted the stars.

‘Why didn’t you want to marry JJ?’ Billy asked, voice small, barely making it through the darkness.

Jet’s chest contracted, ribs closing into a shield. Well, she did sayanything.And this was Billy. She trusted him, with her truck, with her life, and maybe something else too. Her chest opened up and she sighed.

‘I used to think JJ was good for me. He pushed me, said I should be the best version of myself, dream even bigger. I think that’s who he loved: the best version of me, the one with the big ideas. He would have resented me eventually, when none of it worked out. And nothing ever works out. I give up, so I gave up on him. I think he thought he wassettlingwith me, and maybe I thought the same too. Because therehadto be someone better for me, someone perfect – not here, maybe in Boston – once I’d fixed my life, become that better person. And what was the other choice: I marry him and get stuck here in Woodstock forever? Become my parents? Or Luke and Sophia?’

Billy pulled out a handful of grass. ‘You wanted to leave?’

Jet tilted her head, glanced over at him. ‘Don’t you? Don’t you ever think about it? Somewhere new? Maybe a lot of somewheres. Not the place that’s supposed to be home, but the place thatfeelslike home. Find other bars to play your music in, make lots of people smile, because you make everyone smile, Billy. Live out of a truck and have dirty socks and cold beers and sit under new stars every night? Don’t plan, or worry about the time. Just … be.’