Page 89 of No Holds Barred

Episode 4

SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA - RIVERSIDE PLAZA

Chapter

Twenty-Eight

“Hey.” Hope’s lips curled upward into a brilliant smile as Angelica opened the door to her hotel room.

“Hi.” Angelica’s eyes crinkled in the corners and her mouth bowed.

Looking up and down the hallway, Hope leaned in and kissed Angelica quickly before pulling back. The last thing she wanted was for Angelica to get upset with the PDA, especially when anyone could walk down the hallway, see them, and spill their little secret.

“I had to wrangle your room number from Lyric.” Hope bit her lip and leaned onto one leg more than the other. “So do I get to see your room?”

Angelica blushed, a rosy tint to her cheeks. She flicked her gaze down to Hope’s suitcase in her hand and then back up to Hope. “You can see my room, yes. That,” she pointed directly at the suitcase, “can’t.”

“What do you mean?” Hope’s heart went wild as a cold sweat trickled down her back. They’d discussed this right? That Eva was with Rex this week, which meant Hope had more time to spend with Angelica, and they could be together as often as they wanted. Well, Hope wanted that.

Angelica’s lips pushed together as again she looked down to the suitcase. “Come inside a second.”

She held the door open, and Hope stepped inside, but she didn’t walk any deeper into the room, afraid that she’d already screwed this up. She kept her fingers curled around the handle so she could leave as soon as she needed to.

“What did I do wrong?” Hope asked, her stomach still twisting into a violent fury of bile.

Angelica sighed and crossed her arms, staring directly at Hope. “I don’t have regrets about what we did in Vermont, I want to make that very clear. But I’m not ready to jump into a relationship with you, Hope. I’m not ready to let you move in here and play house on the weeks you don’t have Eva.”

The punch to her gut was strong.

“So what did I do wrong?” Hope bit her lip, staring down into Angelica’s baby blue eyes and trying her damnedest to figure out what misstep she’d taken.

“Hope…” Angelica dragged out her name like she was chastising a child or perhaps just really annoyed with one. “Unlike you, I don’t move quickly, and after how last season ended, I’m not ready to jump into a relationship with you with both feet.”

“Because I still need to prove something to you.” Hope bit her lip again, curling her fingers hard around the suitcase handle. She hated this. Hadn’t they worked through this already?

“Love doesn’t make a relationship.” Angelica’s shoulders squared. “Work does.”

“I know that. I’m the one of us who’s been married before.” Hope clenched her jaw at her own anger. She shouldn’t be mad because Angelica was just trying to share what she was feeling, but damn it, this hurt. Because it was her fault.

Sighing again, Angelica rubbed her hand up and down Hope’s arm and then took her fingers and laced them with herown. “I’m not saying that I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, Hope.” Angelica stepped in closer, and Hope had to bend her neck even more to keep eye contact. “What I’m saying is that I’m not going to rush into anything, especially with what happened last year. All right?”

“Okay,” Hope whispered, not entirely sure what else to say. “Is this because we’re still filming?”

“No. Because when we get back to Los Angeles, I won’t let you just move in with me either.”

“Me move in with you?” Hope frowned. “But I’m the one with a house.”

Angelica’s face pinched. “This is exactly my point. Those things need to be discussed, which takes time. But beyond that, Hope, you told me I wasn’t worth a relationship last year. That’s going to take more than one night of sex to resolve. I won’t be your second choice that you settle for just because you need to be in a relationship with someone.”

Hope nearly rocked back on her toes from the full force of that confession. She’d thought—no, she’d wanted to believe—that when they were in Vermont, they’d resolved this. But it ran deep, and she needed to remember that.

“I never expected this to happen,” Hope said, her voice quiet and loving. She let go of her suitcase and cupped Angelica’s cheek. “I fully intended to come into this season and film to the best of my ability and be done with it. Romance—love—wasn’t anything I thought I’d find here again.”

Angelica swallowed, her lips parting. She lifted her chin to look up into Hope’s eyes.

“I thought we were done, and I’ve spent the last year trying to figure myself out again. I got lost, Angel. Even before I met you, I felt my wheels spinning as if I was trying to cling on to anything to control it and keep my head above water, and I very nearly drowned. I spent the last year in between seasons trying to figureout who I am and who I want to be. And I’m not going back. All right? I’m not going to be that person again.”

“Good. I don’t want you to be lost.” Angelica’s lips pulled into a tight smile.