Page 57 of No Holds Barred

“You’ve been so warm and yourself one minute, like tonight, but then the complete opposite.” Angelica set the washcloth in her lap. “Like in the kitchen?—”

“Yeah,” Hope agreed, sobering instantly. She held her breath, settling her fingers on Angelica’s shoulder.

Angelica turned and looked up into Hope’s eyes. “Why?”

“You said you love me, Ange.” Hope bit her lip and shook her head. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

The air thickened, steam filling the confined space. Angelica reached up, taking Hope’s hand and threading their fingers together as she moved Hope’s hand from her shoulder and pulled her back around so that they were facing each other.

“I do.”

“Not loved,” Hope said, trying to make it clear what she was saying. “Love. Present tense. You didn’t say that you loved me last year.”

Angelica nodded, but she didn’t say anything else. Nothing to clarify the statement. Nothing to discredit it. Hope stared down at her, completely at a loss.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hope asked, her voice sounding so small.

“You never would have chosen me.” Angelica shook her head, her damp hair moving with her before sticking to her skin. “I was never going to come out of that on the right side.”

“So you held back?” Her tone held an accusation. Hope didn’t have to say anything else.

Angelica squeezed her fingers tenderly. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it was easier that way, for both of us.”

“No. It wasn’t.” Tears stung Hope’s eyes. “It wasn’t at all. I didn’t have all of the facts, Ange. You didn’t give me a fair chance. How was I supposed to navigate every complication and decision if I didn’t know that?”

Angelica let go of her hand. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It does!”

“No, Hope. It doesn’t. You made your choice.”

“It wasn’t a fair choice!” Hope’s voice rose. She bent down, getting as close to Angelica’s face as she could because she needed Angelica to understand what she was saying. “Rex is the one who forced me to make a choice, not you, but Ange…Angel…” she corrected at the last second “…it’s not a fair decision if I don’t have all the information.”

Angelica reached up, cupping Hope’s cheek. Her fingers were wet against Hope’s skin, warm and damp. Angelica moved her thumb across Hope’s lips tenderly. “We can’t go back in time.”

“No, we can’t,” Hope agreed. “But we have a whole future in front of us that hasn’t been written yet.”

Angelica shook her head slowly. “No, Hope. We don’t.”

“But we could.” Desperation etched its way into each of those three words, and Hope hated hearing them.

The silence lingered, and Hope finally moved away. She was here to help Angelica, not have serious conversations with her. When Angelica was done scrubbing her body, Hope helped herto turn around and wet her hair completely. She took a dollop of shampoo and scrubbed it into Angelica’s hair.

The bruise on the back of Angelica’s arm was still a deep purple. The one along her hip was much darker, though, and looked far more concerning. Hope wanted to ask, but it wasn’t her place. Angelica had shut her down quickly before.

They rinsed the shampoo and Hope started on the conditioner. She took the comb and started to brush through Angelica’s hair, pulling the tangles from it as she went. This was one thing she didn’t miss about having long hair. The amount of time and energy it took to keep it clean and healthy.

As she combed, Hope broke the silence. “Rex sent another recording of Josef to Logan.”

“What?” Angelica opened her eyes and turned to stare back at her. “Why would he do that?”

“Because we all care about you.” Hope furrowed her brow. “And Josef’s being an ass.”

“To me, not to anyone else.”