Page 69

“We were standing on the platform at Charing Cross,” he said, unable to stop the words from tumbling out.

“We were going to the splash pools so she could dip her toes in the water, because she hadn’t left the house in two months.

She hadn’t shifted in over a year and she was losing funding for her PhD.

She couldn’t get out of fucking bed, she couldn’t go out, Mum!

Do you know how fucking depressed she was because of y?—”

“Pember!” she snapped, a warning look in her eyes.

“The train was about to arrive,” he continued, unrelenting. “She said she wasn’t feeling well. Asked me to get her a drink from the vending machine before the train came. I turned my back on her, and when I looked back?—”

Pember squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the lasting memory of his sister’s face as she leaned back into the oncoming train.

Resigned.

Exhausted.

Her smile as she closed her eyes crushed his fucking soul. She’d been warm up until that point. They’d held hands as they walked to the station.

“ You’ll remember me, won’t you, Pem? ” Those had been her words as they walked down the steps into the underground. Little did he know it was her way of saying goodbye.

She was looking at him in her final moments before being dragged sideways into the tunnel. The force had been so great that she’d left her shoes behind on the platform. Just two white pumps sitting alone.

Pember had scrabbled forward, scooping up the shoes and screaming her name as if doing so might somehow bring her back.

But she was gone in an instant. More than gone.

Her body had been pulverised and spread all down the tracks.

The nightmares had started straight away, and for months afterwards he couldn’t distinguish laughter from tears.

“Enough!” his mum said, slapping the table. “Why are you torturing me, Pember? What have I done to deserve?—”

“What have you done? What have I done to have my medication cancelled? O-or a random man turn up at my house, and a false report made against me at work?!” He rose, the words growing unsteady. “To have my sister’s ashes thrown across my front doorstep like a… like a fucking joke !”

Taking a breath, he lowered himself into the chair again. His mum crossed her arms, eyebrows raised.

“Because this is punishment, isn’t it? For wanting… wanting to shift, for wanting to be away from you . For wanting to live. For fucking existing!”

Suddenly, Tracey let out a screech of laughter.

“You shouldn’t have existed! Neither of you!

This was never the life I wanted. Two omega kids with a beta father.

I was going to be a dancer, Pember! I had the top agent in the business and I was in the best condition of anyone else on the circuit.

I’d caught the eye of so many alphas they were practically tripping over themselves to claim me.

Then your dad, your fucking dad got me pregnant me during a European tour, and poof.

Everything was gone. No one wants a knocked-up omega. ”

She was breathing fast, but her voice grew softer.

“You don’t think I wanted to shift? That I didn’t want a pack of my own one day?

I call out to my wolf every day, but where is she?

Gone. She’s abandoned me like everybody else.

If I’d have given birth to alphas, things would have been different.

They could have looked after me, the house.

It would have made losing my career easier to swallow.

But no. I had your sister. And then you . ”

Pember’s face froze in stunned silence. He couldn’t tell what was the truth and what was manipulation anymore. The woman across the table… he didn’t know her at all. Perhaps he’d never known her.

The room felt as though it was closing in around him, lights danced in the corner of his eyes like he was about to pass out.

“Y-you—” he stuttered, inhaling through his nose. “You hate being an omega, don’t you?”

His mum sucked her teeth and stayed silent.

“And you want me to hate it too. And Immy? You don’t want me to be happy, you want me to be miserable, like you .

You made us feel so worthless. You destroyed Immy.

You destroyed everything about her! The fact that she was doing well with her career in London and she wanted to be a dancer like you.

But you just had to keep twisting the knife, and now she’s gone you’re doing the same to me. ”

“You’re doing it to yourself!” she bellowed, slamming her fist on the table.

“I’ve seen the advert for that job you took.

” She scrunched her nose. “I saw the sorts of things you do. Honestly, Son, it’s so beneath you.

What did you think you were doing? Saving the world?

Making a difference? You could have done that with?—”

“I make a difference!” he shouted, shooting to his feet so fast it made the chair clatter. “I make a difference.”

Tracey sighed, shaking her head. “The world is not a kind place for people like us. You shouldn’t be on your own, you should be with me or with a mate. It’s what I’ve always said.”

“You pushed me to find a mate, so when it all went wrong I’d come crawling back. So I’d beg you to let me home.”

His mum snarled and rose to her feet. “You ungrateful fucking shit. You don’t deserve a mate, you don’t deserve?—”

Something clicked in Pember’s brain, a long-buried truth that was finally breaking through to the surface. “You never wanted to find a mate for me , did you? You want someone who’ll protect you .”

His eyes flicked down as his phone buzzed in his hand, it was a message from Blake. ‘ I’m outside. ’

Pember frowned, but didn’t have time to question it as his mum stepped towards him. Her arms were raised like she was about to grab him, so, stepping backwards into the living room, he said, “Do you love me, Mum?”

Tracey’s jaw tensed, and she blinked as though trying to summon tears. When none came she covered her mouth. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Do you love me?”

She cried out, acting stricken, but the emptiness behind her eyes gave her expression a hollow quality. “How can you?—”

Pember shook his head and looked at the carpet. “You can’t say it, can you? Maybe you thought you did, once. When I was little. But now… now you just want control, to make up for the control you lost in your own life.”

“Pember…” she said again, eyes going wide, and for the first time since stepping into the house, she actually looked afraid. “How can you say that? I’m your mother. ”

Letting out a breath, Pember tried to turn and leave, but his legs felt like iron rods, meaning he was probably about to have a migraine.

Keeping one eye on his mum, he sent a reply to Blake.

‘ I’m not feeling good. Can you come and get me? ’

When he looked up again, his mother was retreating into the kitchen, her hand curling around the cutlery drawer and yanking it open.

“If that’s truly what you think,” she said, face twisting into a grimace. “Then I may as well follow your fucking sister.”

Pulling her hand back, she drew a carving knife from the drawer and held it to her chest. Pember’s fight or flight kicked in, and he threw himself forward. But he was too late. Someone was moving around him, someone tall. A hand slapped the knife out of her grasp. It was Blake. Followed by Oliver.

“What the hell ?” she snarled, eyes snapping to Oliver, then back to Pember. “Get out of?—”

“Tracey, Tracey, Tracey,” Oliver said, boxing her in against the fridge. Blake kicked the knife away with a clatter and moved to Pember’s side.

“Are you alright?” he said, pressing his lips to Pember’s forehead

“Y-yes,” he said, blinking rapidly. “How did you get?—”

“Val rang the station,” he replied. “When she saw a taxi pull up outside your house she called me. Told me what happened with the ashes and said you were going to do something stupid.”

“Get your hands off me!” his mum cried, but from where Pember was standing he couldn’t see a single hand on her.

“Tracey,” Oliver said again, a wide grin splitting his face. “I’m issuing you with a?—”

Blake clapped a hand across his shoulder, pulling him back. “ Ollie ,” he growled, pulling Oliver round and placing him in front of Pember.

Oliver flushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry,” he said. “I got carried away. Here.” He held out a piece of paper, letting Pember read the first few words. “It’s yours if you want it.”

Harassment Prevention Order. If the subject of this order breaches the conditions laid out in section 2, they shall be liable to prosecution. Subject: Tracey Anne McArthur. Complainant: Pember William McArthur.

Pember’s eyes went wide. “I don’t… I don’t understand. I didn’t ask for this?”

Oliver gave him a soft smile. “I know. But things have gone too far now, don’t you think?”

Blake rubbed his back, leaning down to press his mouth to the shell of his ear. The closeness was not lost on his mum, who straightened and smoothed over her blouse.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” Blake whispered.

Tracey glanced between them, her dark green eyes homing in on Blake, running over his tailored suit, his nice shoes. Appraising him like a gem in a jeweller’s. “Nice to meet you,” she called, moving towards him and holding out a hand.

She was actually unhinged.

Pember lurched forwards, placing himself between her and Blake. “No,” he said, giving her a hard look. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to act like nothing happened just because… just because…”

He didn’t want to say it. Not to his mum. She didn’t deserve it.

“Because I’m his mate,” Blake finally said, squeezing his shoulder.

Oliver let out a strangled sound that was somewhere between a cough and a squeal, and when Pember looked up, the alpha was smiling. They shared a look, and for once the word felt like theirs and theirs alone.

“Yeah,” Pember whispered. “My mate.”

Nodding to Oliver, then at the harassment order, he spared one final glance at his mum before taking Blake by the hand. “Can we go?”

Blake sighed, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Yeah.”

“Tracey McArthur,” Oliver began, clearing his throat. “I’m issuing you with a harassment prevention order. This order prevents you from…”

Oliver’s voice faded away into the house as he and Blake stepped onto the driveway.

“I’m proud of you,” Blake said, kissing the top of his head. “But I wish you’d have waited for me.”

Pember swallowed. “I know, but I realised it was something I had to do alone. No offence.”

Blake nodded, fingers squeezing his hip. “I know.”

Rounding the corner, he saw Blake’s and Oliver’s cars parked by the postbox. Lucas was in the front seat with Alfie and an iPad on one knee, Mina and a bottle of milk on the other.

Pember gave a small wave. “Why are they here, by the way?”

For once, a blush ran up Blake’s neck. “I asked them to help me re-draft the surveillance order. Lucas has loads of experience with covert policies. He worked in Special Branch for four and half years before West Newton. I wasn’t…

I couldn’t concentrate. I just felt myself getting more and more angry.

Then I got the call from Val, and Oliver pretty much had the harassment order ready and waiting. Said he drafted it when you moved out.”

Kind bastard.

Pember hummed. “You mean you actually asked for help for once?”

Blake scrubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “Yeah. And… uh… they aren’t the only ones that came.”

Tipping his head, he directed Pember’s gaze towards another car at the end of the drive. Chichi and Val waved through the windscreen, and the elderly alpha looked like she was trying to undo her seat belt.

Pember let out a quiet laugh. “You really brought the whole gang, huh?”

Blake nodded. “Val said she’d let Cherry loose in my lounge if I didn’t pick her up. Chichi wanted?—”

Right on cue, the other omega appeared from the side of the car, her dark braids hanging loose around her shoulders. “Hello, cutie,” she said, pushing up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“H-hi,” Pember said, giving her a watery smile.

“These boys,” she said, linking an arm through his arm and leading him towards the car. “I’ve worked with all of them long enough to know they have as much emotional tact as a group of chimps. And I… I know what it’s like to escape a tumultuous family. As you know.”

Pember’s eyes flicked to the exposed scarring on her forearms. He squeezed her hand before turning back towards the house. “I don’t want this to be the end for us,” he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “But I won’t let her ruin everything and everyone I have.”

Looking up at Blake, he said, “Let’s go home.”