Page 37

Blake cleared his throat, a sound that echoed around the hospital corridor.

“When I thought the baby was mine, I wanted to change. I wanted to be there. I realised that my future didn’t actually matter, and neither did mine and Rebecca’s feelings towards each other.

I was about to take a year-long career break, and I…

Well, it’s how I ended up on the murder squad.

Lucas took my place in Child Protection, and no fucker else wanted the homicide position.

So here I am. Waiting with corpses in haunted morgues at one o’clock in the fucking morning. ”

Pember bit his lip. “I didn’t… I mean, it’s probably not haunted, I was just teasing you.”

“You have a habit of doing that.”

Pember gave a small smile. “You tease me too.”

“You’re very teasable. Little legs.”

Pember’s nostrils flared, heat creeping up his spine at the memory of Blake pressed against his back. He quickly changed the subject. “What about your parents? Are you still in touch?”

“We speak every now and again. Send Christmas cards, sometimes visit. I think my father’s still mad for how ill I made my dad, and I… It’s hard to organise things with my work, and?—”

“It’s not hard,” Pember replied, grabbing the phone and sitting up. “It’s not hard. You’ve made time for me and Val. Why can’t you do it for your parents?”

Blake hummed. “I made time because I had a bossy little omega blackmailing me.”

“I was not blackmailing you! Only gently suggesting.”

“Tell that to my toes. They still haven’t recovered from their Wellington boot induced torture.”

“That was entirely your own fault.”

Then they were both laughing, which was highly inappropriate given Blake’s location, but something about the absurdity of it all had Pember unable to contain himself. When he did eventually settle down, he took the phone off loudspeaker and gripped it to his ear.

“But, seriously, Blake, stay in touch with them. Please, don’t end up like me and my family.”

There was a pause, then: “Pem, about that… what’re you going to do?”

“I don’t… What can I do? She’s my mum. I can’t take out an injunction against her, or a harassment order, or whatever Professional Standards were going on about. I just can’t do that to her.”

“And what about what she’s doing to you?”

Pember huffed, running a hand through his hair. “I told you she’s not well.”

There was a scratching sound, suggesting Blake was running his fingers over his five o’clock shadow again. Pember wondered how that might feel against his cheek.

“You said this started before your sister passed away,” Blake continued. “That she was obsessed with finding you a mate. Making you do things you didn’t want to. I’m sorry, but it sounds like she was only obsessed with putting you in harm’s way. She’s sabotaging you because she?—”

“Don’t comment on something you don’t understand,” Pember snapped.

“You don’t know. You don’t know at all. When my sister died, it was like something broke in her.

Something broke in me . I don’t know whether to be angry or sad.

Upset, o-or fucking livid. Watching someone you love kill themselves isn’t like in the movies, Blake.

The lights don’t go down and the ominous music doesn’t come up.

I was scared. I was alone. I didn’t know what to do.

I still don’t know, and neither does she. ”

“I didn’t… I’m so sorry, Pem. I didn’t know you were present when she?—”

“You wouldn’t,” he sighed, wrist beginning to ache because of how hard he was gripping the phone.

“I don’t talk about it. Not even to Mum.

Imogen, she… she threw herself under a train at Charing Cross tube station, and I…

” His eyes slipped shut, expression turning blank.

“Sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You’ve got more important things to?—”

“Coffee.” Blake cut him off.

“W-what?”

“Come for coffee with me. Or something else. Something you like. Away from work, the police station, and away from Bell Lane. Anything, it doesn’t matter. Just let me take you somewhere you can be yourself for a bit.”

Pember flushed and looked down at his knees. “You… Oh.”

“You don’t want to?”

“No, I… I do, I just… I don’t know why you’d want to do that… with me.”

Blake snorted. “Are you fishing for a compliment or something?”

Pember stood abruptly and leant against the windowsill. “What?! No, of course not! I just… you said yourself, time is short and I?—”

“It might be short, but it’s not that fucking short. Like I said, your backpack’s too full. In fact, it’s not just full, it’s fucking bursting at the seams. Seeing you earlier, the things you’re carrying… you seem like you’re at breaking point, or very close to it.”

Sighing, Pember leant against the windowsill. “I’m not. I’m fine?—”

“Really, Pem? Because the way your wolf ripped out of your skin says otherwise.”

“I don’t… Well, maybe I…” He swallowed, unable to get his words out. “I’m sorry, Blake. I’m so sorry, I?—”

“Would you stop apologising? Please? If I didn’t want to help I’d have either left you there or fetched Maya. I’m only sorry if I scared you in the woods.”

“You didn’t scare me. Not at all. I just…

I don’t do that. Omegas are stereotyped as emotional, sex-mad baby-making machines enough as it is.

I don’t just casually throw myself at every alpha that catches my eye, especially not in the workplace.

Shit, I’ve never even had a disciplinary at work, let alone gotten hot and heavy with a colleague in the bloody showers. ”

“Is that what you think? That I wanted a quick fumble with an omega to pass the time?”

Pember sighed. “Wasn’t it?”

“Do you truly think so little of yourself?”

“Why are you answering questions with more questions?”

“Are you going to stop apologising?”

Pember sighed and shook his head. “You’re still doing it.”

There was a pause, then Blake said, “I like you, Pem. In case that wasn’t fucking obvious. I like you, because you’re funny and kind, you’re hard working, and because you’re the sort of person that makes moonshine at the bottom of the fucking garden.”

Pember blinked rapidly and craned his neck to see if Blake’s light was on. It wasn’t, because Blake was at the morgue, with the body. “H-how do you know about that?” he said.

“I saw you on Val’s patio with the brewing kit.”

“What? When? I didn’t know you were home.”

There was another pause, before Blake let out a long breath. “Yeah. I came home for a few hours this afternoon, because…” his words trailed off.

“Because?” Pember prompted.

“Jesus Christ, Pember are you really going to make me say it?”

“W-well, no, but?—”

“Rut. I went into rut. It didn’t last long, so I came back for the evening shift. I thought it was better not to talk to you, so as not to prolong things.”

Pember’s mouth hung open behind his hand. After an awkwardly long pause, Blake said, “Will you say something, please?”

“I… um. Rut. Because of?—”

“You.”

Pember felt like all his nerve endings were fried. “I’m?—”

“You better not be about to apologise.”

He was.

Eventually, he swallowed and slumped back into his nest. “I think… I think we need that risk assessment. And anyway, it’s not moonshine, it’s elderflower wine.”

“I was joking about the risk assessment.”

There was another long pause, Blake’s steady breaths at odds with Pember’s rapid pulse.

“Walking,” Pember finally said. “When I was at uni I used to like walking in the woods at the back of the campus. Sometimes I’d shift, but it got less and less over time.”

Blake made a sound of approval. “Walking. Okay, so we’ll go for a walk. Take Bailey and George.”

“And coffee. I also like coffee, as you know. And ice cream.”

“Right, we’ll find somewhere for coffee and ice cream after.”

“N-no. Another day. We’ll do the… two days… or three… a-and breakfast, and maybe more walks. All the walks.” The words that were coming out made sense in Pember’s head, but not as they exited his mouth.

Blake chuckled. “Yeah. Alright. Look, I’ve gotta go. Chichi’s here and she looks pissed.”

“I do not!” Chichi’s exasperated voice sounded down the phone. “Hi, Pember! See you tomorrow, my love!”

“R-right. Okay,” Pember squeaked. “Well, good luck! I guess. Maybe. See you tomorrow, or?—”

“See you tomorrow, Pem,” Blake said. “Night.”

“Night,” he whispered back before hanging up and shrieking into his pillow.