Page 36

DEAD MAN WALKING

Pember

Speckles of light floated across the wall in Pember’s new bedroom, the silver stars of the dreamcatcher reflecting the moonlight as it poured through the window.

He’d done away with the curtains, shoving them to one side so he could look up at the night sky.

His wolf rumbled in the back of his mind, and he turned his face to the pale light and let out a quiet ‘wooo’ sound.

His wolf liked that. It liked his growing nest, too.

He felt more at ease at the rear of the house; it was cooler and he was away from the road.

He’d taken to piling the blankets and pillows around the edge of the mattress, making himself something close to a pillow fort, rather than a stuffy cocoon.

It was nice, and he’d probably end up getting some twinkly lights for the nights the clouds covered the stars.

He’d thought about calling his mum all evening, imagining all the things he might say to her.

Leave me alone. Give me space. I’ll come back when I’m ready.

But none of it felt right. Like no words could accurately describe how he felt.

Guilty? Betrayed? Desperate? All of the above.

Instead, he’d distracted himself by brewing a batch of elderflower flower wine whilst Val watched with her CPAP machine.

Throwing an arm across his face, he let out a long groan.

His mum had had the last laugh in the end, though.

Her actions had almost driven him straight into Blake’s arms, which was what she wanted, wasn’t it?

Except, for the first time he’d actually wanted it too, and so had his wolf.

It’d felt good to shift again, but the sudden, uncontrollable transformation had left him absolutely exhausted.

He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory of his desperate and needy reaction, because there was no way around it, no way of flowering it up to make it seem like anything else.

Blake had been… Blake. Stoic and immoveable.

But he’d also seemed hotter and heavier than normal.

The blackness of his eyes, the way his fangs stuck out as he growled against his back.

Pember squeezed his bare thighs together and pulled down the baggy T-shirt over his groin.

He wanted to text him. Shit. He really wanted to, but shame clung like sticky caramel in his gut.

Huffing, he rolled onto his side and pulled a pillow to his chest. Bailey was making noise in the kitchen, her collar clinking loudly against the water bowl.

His phone buzzed from somewhere within his pillow fort. Frowning, he drove his hand in between the blankets and patted around until he found it. His throat went dry when he saw a message from Blake.

‘ Are you and Val okay? ’

Pember stared at it, then pressed the phone to his chest. He squirmed, toes curling. Deciding not to be a total idiot, he picked it up and typed back.

‘ Yeah. Val didn’t eat much. Tummy pains. ’

There was a brief pause, then: ‘ There’s gastro tablets in the top cupboard, I should have said. ’

Pember sat up. ‘ Should I go back? ’

‘ No. It’s 1am. I’ll check on her in the morning. ’ There was another pause, then: ‘ Can’t sleep? ’

Pember pressed his lips together. ‘ No. My brain’s too full. ’

He’d barely hit send before another message appeared. ‘ Want to talk? ’

He swallowed, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. ‘ It’s okay. I don’t want to take up your time. ’

‘ I’m sitting with the second body in the morgue. It’s dark and there’s no one around. I’m shitting myself to be completely honest. ’

A laugh bubbled in Pember’s throat. ‘ Why don’t you hop up into one of the containers? Have a nap. I hear they’re more comfortable than they look. ’

‘ You’re sick. ’

He was. The black humour of his colleagues was rubbing off on him more and more. His nostrils flared at the thought of Blake sitting alone in his trench coat, looking all grumpy and put-out with only a corpse for company. He typed back. ‘ It’s probably haunted, you know? ’

‘ I hate you. ’

His smile broadened even further, and a moment later the phone rang. He was still smiling as he hit answer.

“Boo,” he said, doing his best impression of a ghost.

“Hilarious,” Blake replied, voice flat and echoey.

“I am.”

Blake chuckled—a low, sultry sound that reverberated down the phone line.

Pember was about to say something further, but swallowed the words when he realised his cock was growing hard. Again . He gritted his teeth and rolled onto his stomach, laying the phone on the pillow and putting it on loudspeaker.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t go back and check on Val?” he said, staring at the phone as if Blake were actually lying next to him.

“And risk waking Cherry up? You’d be playing a dangerous game.”

“Point taken. Why are you waiting with the body again? Seems a little unfair.”

Blake let out a breath. “Probably because I left the team high and dry this afternoon. And because I don’t trust Mark not to lose the body. He’d probably walk off and forget all about him.”

Pember snorted. “Who’s walking off? Mark, or the body?”

“Very funny. You are doing absolutely nothing to help, Pember.”

Grinning, Pember pushed up onto his elbows. “Maybe you should talk to the body. Take him for a little stroll around the hospital. Don’t they try and encourage those alpha walking groups where you talk about your feelings?”

Blake barked out a laugh. “I don’t think he’s the chatty sort. Plus, Chichi would absolutely fucking kill me.”

“Oh, come on, you told me you were a rebellious kid, where’s that side of you gone?”

Blake sighed. “Yes, the drinking, smoking, shagging everything with a pulse kind of rebellious. Not the kidnapping corpses kind.”

Pember’s grin faltered. How different our teenage years had been. “I refuse to believe it,” he continued, rolling onto his back and pushing a hand through his hair. Raising his hips, he saw that his groin was still very much tenting his black briefs.

Blake hummed, “Believe it. As a teenager I… Let’s just say I made my parents’ life hell. Partying, never coming home. You name it, I did it. I’d been sick for most of my pre-teen years, and then I had—” Blake sucked in a breath, and Pember could hear him scrubbing his fingers across his chin.

“Yes?” Pember replied, holding his ribs as he tipped onto his side.

“I had a heart attack on my twelfth birthday. At a public swimming pool. It was treated with medication, but… emotionally it nearly destroyed my parents. After that I… I had this constant feeling that my life was going to be cut short, you know? It did something to my outlook on life. I was convinced I’d never grow old, never get married or have children.

Never fulfil my role as an alpha. That’s when the partying started.

I had no notion of what it was doing to my parents, or the rest of my family. ”

Silence hung between them as Pember stared at the phone.

His chin began to quiver at the thought of Blake as a child, any child , going through that.

He’d seen a dying kitten on the side of the canal, once.

His sister had jumped in and rescued it, tried to do CPR as the mother cat yowled and screamed for her baby.

“Pem, you there?”

“Y-yeah. Sorry. That’s just… Your poor parents.”

“I know. When I was nineteen, the drinking and partying finally caught up with me and I had another mini-episode. It nearly killed my dad. My omega dad. So that’s when my alpha father gave me an ultimatum.

Buck up or get out. At the time, I was seeing Rebecca on and off, but the following year we made it official.

She wanted the security of a mate, and I wanted a promotion as soon as possible.

Back then, they’d only let mated alphas be sergeants, so it was a win-win as far as we could see. ”

The words seemed to surge out of Blake’s mouth as though he’d been holding them in for a very long time. Pember only listened, clenching his jaw at the sudden and unexpected openness.

“I didn’t—” Blake continued. “I wasn’t a good husband, Pem.

Maybe in the beginning I was, but as time went on I just worked myself to the bone.

I convinced myself that I had to cram in an entire career’s worth of achievements before I died.

Rebecca and I—we drifted apart. She knew it, I knew it, but I think we’d convinced ourselves that staying together was better than being alone. ”

Pember let out a breath, swallowing the tightness in his throat. “You were together for a long time. That’s gotta mean something, right?”

Blake let out a tired sound, somewhere between a sigh and a groan. “Sure. Ten years, all in. But there’s no lonelier place than in a house where two people are falling out of love.”

Pember’s eyes drifted shut, the significance of Blake’s admission slowly sinking in. He knew loneliness—thought he knew it better than anyone—but hearing the words, thinking of Val… They were all just fucking lonely. Weren’t they? They’d been clinging to each other since the day he moved in.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Blake continued, “I’m not all torn up about my old mate, Pem. I’m still mad as hell that she cheated on me, but I look back now and realise it was a mercy for both of us. I only wish she hadn’t lied about the pregnancy. Would have saved us both eight months of agony.”

Pember cracked his eyes open, squinting at Blake’s number on the screen. “Yeah. That was shitty no matter how you look at it.”