Page 49
Story: Never Kiss a Wallflower
A fter a much-abbreviated sleep, Restive dressed in his best and walked, well before the usual time for morning calls, to the Belair residence.
Several acquaintances nodded to him as he passed, and he noticed a few smirks and some avid interest, but set it all aside as irrelevant.
He would start by talking to Lucy, and then… well, he’d just have to see.
An uneasy-looking butler opened the door to him, took his card in silence, and said he would see if Lady Belair was receiving.
“I don’t wish to see Lady Belair. Only Miss Belair.”
“I shall verify if—” He broke off as Lucinda herself came swiftly down the stairs and stopped dead. “Oh,” she said, clearly appalled. “It’s you.” She was dressed in pelisse and bonnet. “Sorry, but I’m going out.”
“Then I’ll go with you,” he said. “If you think I came here to speak to your execrable mother, think again.” The butler, he noticed, was biting his lip hard not to laugh.
Lucinda glared. “Then go away. I have business to transact, and it must be done immediately.”
“As do I. Shall we transact it together?”
Lady Belair appeared at the baluster above. “Lord Restive! How delightful. Do please come up; we have much to discuss.”
“Madam, I have nothing to say to you and never shall,” Restive said. “Come, Lucy, let’s go.” He opened the door and ushered her out. “Where we headed, love? Left or right?”
“To the hackney stand, and you mustn’t come with me.” She glanced about her with a hunted expression. “In fact, the last thing you should do is be seen with me in public.”
“I should like to be seen in public with you for the rest of my life,” he said.
She whirled and snarled, “Oh no. Don’t you dare. Just because you kissed me in a moment of relief, you are not obliged to marry me, and I refuse to—to permit you to make such a stupid sacrifice!”
“But what if I am willing, nay, eager to make the sacrifice? Or, rather, to be the sacrifice. Think of the control you’ll have over me, as I lie naked and quiescent on the altar of our marital bed.”
“Don’t be an idiot,’ she said. “It’s not a prank, it’s not a jest, it’s utterly horrid and unfair, and?—”
“Is the prospect so dismal? I may not be the stallion I’m held to be, but I am perfectly capable of bed sport.
Not only that, think of the other delightful aspects of marriage.
Breakfast together every morning, for example.
I don’t natter, whatever Lady Alice may say, and I’m entirely capable of rational conversation at any hour of the day.
” They arrived at the hackney stand, and he said, “Where to?”
She huffed. “Fleet Street,” she told the jarvey, and to Restive, she said, “You needn’t come with me. I’m perfectly capable of refuting that announcement on my own.”
“Announcement?” He climbed in beside her, pulled the door shut, and they moved forward.
D ear God, he doesn’t even know, thought Lucinda, thoroughly humiliated now. She couldn’t get a single word out.
He took her hand in his. She tugged feebly but gave up. His hand was warm and strong and even kind, which made her want to weep. Once I get control of myself , she decided, I’ll pull my hand away.
“Your mother?” he asked. “She put an announcement—of our betrothal, I assume—in The Gazette ?”
Numbly, she nodded. “Wedding at St. George’s, Hanover Square, a month from now.”
He laughed. “That explains the strange looks I received on my way over here. I thought perhaps it was because I kissed you last night, but I didn’t see how the news could have traveled quite so quickly. But if they read The Gazette this morning…”
Mortification washed over her again. From the depths of utter misery, she dredged up an apology. “I’m so very, very sorry, Lord Restive.”
“Call me Algy,” he said. “Anything but Stallion—although I daresay I shan’t mind that if you enjoy me in bed.”
“Don’t make this situation any worse than it is!” she cried. “Reject me wholeheartedly, Lord Restive, and let me go.” She yanked her hand free and felt utterly bereft.
“I prefer Algy on the lips of those who care for me,” he said, possessing her hand again and kissing it. “And I believe you do care for me, Lucy.”
“Of course I care for you,” she moaned. “The instant my mother told me, I rushed out to refute the notice. I was on my way to The Gazette offices when Mr. Pearce abducted me.”
“Ah, I see. I was rather annoyed with Pearce at the time, but now I see I have cause to be grateful. I can marry you without dealing with your mother at all.”
“Don’t be foolish, Restive. It’s unfair and unkind. You don’t really wish to marry me, and I refuse to entrap you.”
“But I do I wish to marry you.”
With difficulty, she restrained her fury at this absurdity.
“Don’t try to convince me that from accusing me of trying to compromise you and as good as expelling me from your house, you have, in a mere four, or is it five days, fallen madly in love with me, because I don’t believe it, and nor will anyone else. ”
“I don’t care if no one else believes it, as long as you do.” He paused. “I rather thought you liked it when I kissed you.”
“Yes.” Pause. “I did.” Pause. “But so what? You’re an experienced kisser. You probably even kiss women’s feet .”
“Actually, no, not so far, but if that’s what excites you, I’d be happy to oblige.”
She flapped an irritated hand. “That was Alfreda’s silly imagining, not that I’m entirely averse to the notion—” Dear heaven, what was wrong with her? She mustn’t allow herself to think of any kind of kissing in relation to Restive.
“I’ll kiss you anywhere you like, as often as you want,” he said softly, his breath warm on her ear.
She shivered. “Stop trying to seduce me! It won’t work, and if it did, it would end in disaster.”
“I’m not that much of a fumbler,” he began indignantly, then said, “although I’m quite sure experience is irrelevant where love is concerned.
I love you, Lucy. Always have, as a matter of fact, although I didn’t realize it until a few days ago.
You can’t imagine what a relief it is to no longer live in fear of accidentally ruining some foolish chit. ”
He loves me?
“Far from seeking to seduce you, I refuse to take your supposed virginity until after we’re wed.”
“Supposed? I am a virgin.” He loves me?
Would he say that if he didn’t mean it? She didn’t think so. He was known for never saying anything to make a lady expect a proposal of marriage. However, the timing of this declaration was so clearly tied to last night’s half-naked kiss that she couldn’t allow herself to succumb.
He cocked an eyebrow. “You seem to know quite a lot that a virgin isn’t supposed to know.”
“Because I can read,” she retorted, and then realized what she’d said. He thought she meant that vulgar letter in code!
“Can it be that I have actually made you blush?” Restive grinned.
“If I am blushing, your French contact gets the credit,” she said firmly, but she couldn’t help the tendency of her mouth to smile. It was all she could do not to giggle.
“I shall do everything he described, if you wish me to,” he said. “But you’ll have to marry me first.”
If only she could…but… She folded her arms as if it would shield her from temptation. “I’m sorry to cause you pain, but I don’t think I should marry you.” She risked a glance at him, and her heart squeezed at the sadness on his face.
“Am I really so unlikeable, love?” he asked. “So unforgiveable? Because if revenge is what you want, you’ve succeeded, believe me.”
Her face crumpled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of that.”
He put an arm around her. “There, there. Don’t cry, sweetheart.” With a flourish, he handed her a huge handkerchief. It reminded her of a day long, long ago when she’d fallen and scraped her knee. Restive had dried her tears with his handkerchief, while her unsympathetic brother scoffed.
She wiped her eyes. “Revenge is for fools. I was angry and lashed out, that’s all. There is nothing to forgive, and I do like you, despite your best efforts to be horrid.”
“There is indeed something to forgive.” He squeezed her against him.
“I apologize for my thoughtless and inconsiderate behavior in sending you back to your mother. I’m sure that, between us, we could have found a better option—but I was suitably punished when that fool abducted you.
I was terrified for you, whilst I suppose you were calm and brave. ”
“More than anything, I was infuriated,” she admitted.
“Of course you were,” Restive said, a smile in his words. “I do love you, Lucy.”
She was so very tempted to give in, to lean into him, to let herself love him with all her heart.
But she had to be fair to him, to protect him from his own astonishing sense of honor. “The thing is, Algy, you don’t want to marry—in fact, I’d have said you were afraid to marry, which may sound absurd, except that I felt much the same about being tied to the wrong man, so it made sense to me.”
“Afraid is a good word for it. At first, I did my best not to believe I wanted to marry you—but I didn’t know what it really meant to be afraid until I thought you had drowned.”
She couldn’t argue with that, and yet…
“I never said I didn’t want to marry. I was waiting for the right woman, that’s all, and here you are, as perfect as perfect can be for me.”
They were nearing Fleet Street. “So, my love, the decision is yours, but be warned. I don’t let go easily. I’ll make a nuisance of myself until you agree.”
She laughed. This was the Algy she’d loved so many years ago. He should probably be punished for such odious self-assurance, but she wasn’t any more interested in punishment than in revenge. She just wanted to get on with the many more interesting and enjoyable aspects of life.
“Oh, very well. I’ll marry you.” She heaved a long, relieved, yet somewhat unhappy sigh.
“Excellent…I think.” He untied the ribbons of her bonnet and tossed it aside. “I should like to kiss you, but you don’t sound as pleased as I’d hoped.”
She smiled ruefully. “I’m sure your kisses will go a long way towards resigning me to spending the next month with my mother’s triumph.” She sighed again. “Let’s turn around and go back.”
“Not on your life,” he said, and leaned in for a swift kiss. “I refuse to wait a whole month. Let’s elope!”
She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him back, taking as long as she liked. What a pleasure to have the right to do so! “To Gretna Green? Why would we? We’re both of age.”
“To avoid your mother—and, since I’m not as averse to it as you, to get a little revenge. She’ll have to live down both of her daughters running away to wed.”
“Poor Mother,” Lucinda said, not meaning it as much as she should.
“Five days in a coach, separate rooms in inns… I’m sorry, Algy, but I can’t see you waiting that long.
I certainly don’t want to.” She put her arms around him.
“Let’s get a special license and marry today, and then go wherever we please. ”
“Just what I was about to suggest. Matter of fact, I already asked my man of business to draw up a settlement and purchase a license.”
“You are far too sure of yourself,” she said.
“Not really. Just extremely hopeful.”
She laughed again and hugged him tight. “But first, let’s put our own notice in The Gazette .”
S tallion Lord Restive and Bluestocking Lucinda Belair hereby refute the earlier notice of their engagement and instead announce their elopement.
Congratulations and best wishes will be happily accepted upon their return to Town.
If you don’t wish us well, you should. Miss Belair is too well-educated for any other man to appreciate, and no other lady possesses the kindness and courage to put up with Lord Restive.
T he Gazette , being an official organ of communication, flatly refused to print the above version. However, they did agree to publish a more proper notice.
Algernon Restive and Lucinda Belair were wed that very afternoon, and before dinnertime were on their way north.
Why not take the usual direction for runaway marriages, they decided, just for the fun of it?
Restive had a small estate in the lowlands of Scotland that he had meant to visit for years.
Not only that, they might even meet the other newlyweds, Susannah and Humphrey Ball, making their way home.
And they all lived joyfully ever after.
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