Page 102
Story: Never Kiss a Wallflower
A s with most events this Season, Titus was not overjoyed at having to attend Lady Holland’s dinner party this evening with his aunt and cousin. Betrayal was simmering, barely contained after seeing the pair of them taking a casual ride in the park with Portia.
What were his relatives about? Didn’t Aunt Adeline realize the past should remain buried? He was content with his life as a rake. The next thing he knew, she would be inviting his mother for tea and biscuits.
“You might want to wipe that murderous scowl from your face before we enter,” Aunt Adeline remarked as their carriage came to a gentle halt in front of their destination.
With great restraint, he held his tongue.
They’d—actually, it was just him—already argued about Aunt Adeline and Flora’s outing with Portia.
His aunt had given nothing away of their afternoon activities or conversation, and then had had the audacity to inform Titus it was none of his business what company she kept.
That had only added to his current mood.
Before too long, they were entering Lady Holland’s grand parlor, where several dozen guests had already assembled, including Portia, who seemed so out of place in another ill-fashioned dress in yellowish-brown.
The moment their eyes met, sadness seemed to weigh her down, touching a part of his heart he’d closed off to the world. In the next moment, she said something to Lady Oaks, who waved her off, then she left the room.
What game was she playing? Was she purposefully toying with his heartstrings?
“I need your help… Please Titus.”
Damn. Why couldn’t he simply ignore her? Remembrances of a happier time drifted to the forefront of his thoughts.
“What is your fondest wish?”
Without hesitation, his sweet Portia responded, “To travel the world with those I love.”
“I hope that includes me.” He held his breath, waiting for her to respond. A moment later, she spoke the words that made his heart soar.
“Of course it does. Always with you, Titus. Always.”
He inwardly shook his head as he slipped out of the room without attracting notice.
He had to know what Portia was about, why she continued to torment him.
Once in the hall, he glanced about, unsure which direction she’d ventured in.
There were numerous guests on the right, which led to Lord Holland’s library.
He’d previously viewed Lord Holland’s latest acquisition of a celestial globe, but there were others present who had not.
Although he knew Portia would very much enjoy the craftsmanship and details of such a unique piece, he suspected she would want to avoid the guests.
To the left was Lord Holland’s study and Lady Holland’s day parlor. Perhaps she’d taken refuge in one of those rooms.
Careful not to attract attention, Titus went to the study first. Although a fire had been lit, the room was empty. He then went toward the parlor. The closed door would have kept most away, but not him. He reached for the knob and gently eased the door open.
And apparently not Portia, either .
He slipped inside the room, lit only by the dying embers in the fireplace, and just as the door clicked shut, Portia turned and demanded, “What are you doing here?”
Her tone rankled. He’d sought her out of concern and this was her reaction? Two could play at this game. “What are you doing here?”
She shook her head, seemingly searching for words. When they finally came, they were the last Titus expected to hear. “Why do you hate me so much now?” The sentence exited her mouth on a shaky breath that struck his heart.
Don’t let her affect you. She left you just as Mother did. She didn’t answer your letters. You’re on a different path now, one that does not affect your emotions.
“I don’t hate you.” No, what he felt was worse than hate.
Betrayal had been simmering in his blood for over a decade.
“You didn’t even come to the drawing room to see me, or my father.
” Titus could not keep the hurt and anger from his words.
“I thought we were friends.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
“Why didn’t you want to see me? Damn it, Portia, why didn’t?—”
“I didn’t know you’d come,” she practically yelled at him, and then her words softened to a painful whisper. “I didn’t know until yesterday.”
“What…?” A fierce arrow pierced him, shattering what he thought had been the truth for all these years. He started walking toward her. Relief, anger, confusion… Too many conflicting thoughts and feelings vied for his attention. He deserved answers. “What do you mean, you didn’t know?”
She shook her head as her eyes lowered, and then she started to move toward the door, trying to leave him once again. He was not going to let her go so easily, not this time. He wanted to know what she’d meant. Hastening to the closed door, he stepped in front of it, halting her retreat.
“Portia?”
She didn’t look at him as she whispered on a quavering breath, “Please, just let me go. I promise not to bother you again.”
The pull he’d always felt when she was near intensified to something even greater. An intense desire to protect her overcame him, one that he hadn’t felt since he’d learned of her father’s illness. “What happened?”
She turned and crossed to the other side of the room, creating a distance that stabbed at the broken pieces of his heart. With her back still to him, she spoke. “After my father died, I was sent to live with Judith.”
He knew that much to be true. He’d written to her so often, but never received a reply.
Through the years, he’d reminded himself that the new Lord Lamont had told Father that she was content, and then Lord Oaks said to him that Portia hadn’t wanted anything to do with him.
He’d buried the rejection so deep, he thought it would never find its way to the surface.
But here he was, trying to understand. “I know. I wrote to you.”
She shook her head. “I never received…” her words trailed off as she sniffled.
Was she crying?
Oh, dear Lord, this was pure agony. “Portia, please?—”
She whipped around, full of anger and fury, tears streaming down her face.
“I didn’t know you came. I was in my room when Albert rushed in and said a carriage had arrived, and the next thing I knew, Lord Oaks was demanding that I stay put.
Then he locked the door.” She wiped away her tears with a trembling hand.
“I never knew. Since the day I entered my sister’s house, my sole purpose was to care for her children and not cause trouble.
I wasn’t allowed to have friends, go to parties.
My companions were the children and staff, and the books I snuck out of the library each night. ”
How could anyone treat their own flesh and blood in such a manner? Titus stepped closer. “You were a prisoner in your sister’s home?”
A cynical laugh escaped her lips. “I suppose that’s one way to look at it.” Tears streamed down her cheeks anew, slowly washing away the fallacies that he’d been holding onto. “I didn’t know you’d come. I didn’t know that you cared even a little.”
He’d cared more than a little, more than he was willing to admit even to himself. The rejection he’d experienced had dictated his whole adult life. He’d thought she didn’t want to see him. Thought she didn’t care.
Guilt stabbed at him. How could he had doubted her so easily?
Because you thought she’d abandoned you, just like Mother did.
Without thought, Titus went to her and brought her into his embrace and held her. It felt so right for her to be in his arms, the pain from the past easing a little with her confession. She had cared .
He was such an arse. How could he have doubted their friendship? Was he so tainted by his mother’s actions that he distrusted all women?
He shook those questions away. He was not prepared to delve into the whys and wherefores. He didn’t know if he ever would be ready.
As the minutes passed, he simply held her, tried to comfort her. The last time he’d held her like this was the day she’d learnt of her father’s illness. She’d been so scared and unsure.
“I will always be here for you, Portia. No matter what may come.”
Regret coursed through his body. Damn, how he’d failed her. He tightened the embrace slightly, wanting to erase the hurt and pain she’d must have endured through the years, when all of a sudden, she jumped back.
“I… I apologize. I shouldn’t….” She didn’t finish her sentence but ran from the room.
W hat had just happened?
From the moment Titus had entered the parlor with his aunt and cousin, nervous anxiety had begun to consume her, and then he’d glanced her way and she’d practically felt his hatred from across the room.
Rather than cry—and earn Judith’s wrath—she’d made an excuse and sought a quiet place to recover.
Why had Titus followed her? And oh, dear Lord, why did he have to hold her, comfort her now? Just as he had when they were young. Too many memories and feelings were bubbling within.
While living at the Oaks residence, she’d thought of him every day. She’d wondered if he was happy or sad, content or miserable. But most of all, she’d wanted to know if he thought about her as much as she thought of him.
He’d written to me. He’d tried to visit me .
What happened to those letters and what did they say? Judith . She knew without a doubt her half-sister was behind the disappearance of that correspondence, but what purpose would it serve to confront Judith now? Her future, her happiness, was held within her half-sister’s tenacious grasp.
Another thought came to her. Had Judith intercepted the letters she’d sent to Titus too? Why did her half-siblings dislike her so?
Her situation was so very precarious and she was completely reliant on them. Fear crept up, sending shivers rippling across her body. She would not confront Judith. Not now, not ever. She did not know what her half-sister was capable of, nor did she wish to find out.
This was her lot in life.
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