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“Not this?—”

“Careful,” Astrid states, her tone crisp compared to the werewolves.

“Absolutely not,” Mortimer blurts at the same time in obvious disgust.

They think I’m Thane’s potential successor?

The realization takes me by surprise, and I can’t speak.

“Tamara, tell your guests they’re mistaken and send them on their way,” my father orders.

He refuses to look at the wolves directly.

In fact he seems to be having a hard time looking at me.

“I didn’t ask for this,” I manage, my voice steady.

“Elizabeth killed Thane, not me.”

“Yet you benefit from his death,” James challenges.

“Benefit?” I snort holding back a laugh.

I feel the emotions bubbling to the surface.

“You call this a benefit? I’m at war with my own body. I’m hungry all the time for things I don’t want to crave. I attacked people I love. How exactly am I benefiting?”

Astrid grasps my elbow to get me to stop talking.

Costin is staring at me as if trying to communicate the same.

“You’re not a human,” Rhea says matter-of-factly.

I see the smirk she tries to suppress.

“I would call that a benefit.”

“Alpha blood runs in your veins,” James adds.

The statement gives him no pleasure.

There is a wildness to the way he is looking at me, like he wants to tear my limbs from my body and watch me bleed out.

I should tell him the Alpha can go fuck himself, but it seems wrong to speak ill of the dead to his sycophant.

Sully steps forward, as if to unnecessarily draw attention to himself.

He looks at me expectantly, eyes all glowing hot as the beast within is barely contained.

“If I may have a word in private.”

“Absolutely not,” Mortimer says.

“Of course,” I answer, for no other reason than to get away from this gathering from hell.

“Tamara,” my father warns.

A growl rumbles in the back of my throat.

I don’t know where the sound came from, but it seems to shock my father into silence.

Astrid gives my arm a little squeeze as if to remind me of my place.

“We forbid—” Mortimer begins.

Astrid holds up her hand.

“Relax, gentlemen. It’s a conversation, not a coronation. Tamara can handle herself.”

“I’ll join you.” Costin walks toward me, not giving me a choice as he threads his arm through mine and leads me from the room.

“I’ll come too,” Rhea says.

“No,” Sully denies.

Sully follows behind us.

I feel him moving, as if each step sends a current of warning across my back.

The predator growing inside of me knows the danger Sully represents and it doesn’t like it.

Costin takes us to his library.

A fire bursts in the fireplace when we enter though I didn’t see anyone light it.

Just being back here makes me tremble.

My eyes go to the table, expecting to see the prophecy book that led me to my current situation.

Everything is clean, the books back in their places on the floor-to-ceiling shelf like it never happened.

Costin gestures toward the chairs before leading me to one side and standing between Sully and me.

After Sully takes his seat, Costin sits between us.

“The pack is in chaos,” Sully states.

Some of his tension is gone now that he’s away from the others.

“We need leadership. Without an Alpha, we’re vulnerable.” He shoots Costin a pointed look.

“The vampires already look at us as lesser beings. The magics treat us like junkyard dogs. After what Thane and Elizabeth tried to pull, the council isn’t pleased. They, of course, blame the wolves. We need someone to negotiate on our behalf.”

“What does that have to do with me?” I ask, though I know where this is heading.

I’m the last person who should be negotiating with the council.

Most of my interactions with the elders has been hiding in the protected wing hoping they don’t see me while they meet with my parents.

“There are those in the pack who believe you should lead us, despite you being… you ,” Sully says.

“They see your attack as a sign. Some believe we need a new approach and an alliance with the Devines through you would send a powerful message to the other supernaturals.”

I look between the two men, waiting for the punchline I know is not coming.

This is insane.

I’m not even a real werewolf.

I’m.

.

.

What’s another name for a hot mess monster?

“But not you,” I surmise.

“You don’t think I should lead.”

“I’m less superstitious and more pragmatic,” Sully agrees.

“Your wolf is too new. You have no experience with pack politics.”

That’s an understatement.

He sighs, studying me in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

“At best you would be a figurehead I’d have to manage. If I must do the work, I might as well take the position. Also, the one time I saw a werewolf-vampire hybrid it did not end pretty. Or sanely.”

“Don’t pull your punches on my account,” I mutter.

“That said, you’re stronger than a regular werewolf.” Sully’s tone still makes it clear he doesn’t agree with the idea of me being in charge.

“You have Alpha venom in your blood. You have master vampire blood. You’re a Devine by blood, one of the most powerful magical families. And you tamed an ancient dragon. That kind of powerful leader excites some members of our pack.”

I know he’s describing me, but it feels like a glossy interpretation of what I am.

I don’t feel powerful.

I feel like a science experiment gone wrong.

I’m hyper-aware of Costin sitting next to me.

His presence is both comforting and infuriating at the same time.

The sire bond pulses between us like an unwanted heartbeat, making it hard to think clearly when he’s so close.

I’m not sure if I want to feed on him or screw him.

I force my eyes away from him.

“I didn’t tame Draakmar,” I manage.

It’s a lie.

“We came to an understanding.”

“Semantics,” Sully dismisses with a wave.

“The point is you represent power. And right now, the pack needs power.”

I want to tell him I don’t know what I am.

I might not be a wolf.

Or a vampire.

Or I might be both.

Or I might be some kind of new monster that can’t be controlled.

I feel insanity whispering at the edge of my thoughts.

Ironically, it sounds like the late Conrad.

It figures my brain would choose that voice to torment me.

He represents every insecurity I have—my mortal inner child raised in a supernatural family, my love for a brother who betrayed me, my best friend who tried to frame me for murder and kill me.

“Sully, I appreciate you coming here and the offer, but I’m still figuring out how to not kill people when I get hungry. I can’t lead the pack. Please tell the others I decline.”

“It may not be that simple.” Sully glances at Costin as if worried by what the vampire might do.

“You will be expected to try for the position. If you don’t, the new Alpha will always be doubted. A clear path is the best.”

My knowledge of werewolf culture isn’t strong.

Most are horror stories ending in disaster.

I know they’re feral beasts.

What I saw of their territory gave me outlaw biker gang vibes.

Sure, I know I’ve been through a lot.

I’ve proven that I am strong, can stand supernatural trials, and all that self-empowered whatever.

But mostly I’m tired.

I just want to be invisible to the supernatural world again.

I want to crawl back into my gilded cage that was the protected wing of my family’s country estate.

I want to watch the supernatural world from the safety of my balcony.

I spent so many years pushing at those bars wishing to be free.

I touch my neck, not finding my amulet.

Ego sum avis stultus.

I’m a stupid bird.

I look to Costin, who has been surprisingly quiet this whole time.

“Tell him I can’t do this.”

Costin’s face is carefully neutral.

“It’s not my place to tell werewolves what to do. Our treaties do not give vampires the authority to dictate terms over such things. This is their internal matter.”

“Then if I’m vampiric, I can’t have a say,” I reason.

Sully’s eyes gleam.

“You are also a wolf, so it does concern you, whether you want it to or not. The full moon is in two weeks and, by tradition, that’s when a new Alpha must be named. Any longer, and other packs will sense our discord. You do not want them coming to solve our problems.”

“Why?” The second I ask, I regret it.

“Because it is easier to exterminate a problem than to try to absorb orphan wolves into another pack,” Sully answers.

“Tamara is not entering the competition,” Costin says.

“You asked, she refused. She doesn’t want to be Alpha. That should be enough for the others.”

“Good,” Sully answers, “because if she did want it, I would have to challenge any claim she might make.” He leans forward, his massive frame filling the chair and causing it to creak under his weight.

“I was Thane’s right hand. I am the strongest wolf. I should be Alpha.”

“I’ll back whoever keeps the peace,” I say firmly.

Sully stands to tower over us, and I feel something stir inside.

The wolf part of me responds to the natural challenge of his stance.

“Peace is a luxury we can’t afford right now. Elizabeth is still out there spreading her lies about what happened. The magic she tried to harness is unstable. The supernatural world is changing, and werewolves won’t be left behind again.”

“What does that mean?” I ask, not liking the edge in his voice.

“It means,” Sully’s eyes flash gold, “that whether you accept the role or not, you’re part of this now. Thane’s blood made sure of that. You’ll be expected to make an appearance when the time comes.”

“I didn’t ask for his blood.” I stand but it does little good.

I feel small next to him.

My skin itches and I feel my emotions churning as they heat my blood.

My grip on sanity is slipping.

He smirks as if I amuse him.

“No one asks to be bitten. There is no middle ground anymore, Devine. Not for creatures like us.”

The way he says “creatures like us” sends a chill through me.

“I need time to think,” I step back, trying to deescalate my unintentional challenge.

“Two weeks,” he reminds me.

“You’ll feel the call.”

That timeline doesn’t feel right.

“You’ve said what you came to say.” Costin’s voice drops to that dangerous tone that sends an involuntary shiver down my spine.

I hate how my body reacts to him, especially now these new senses pick up every nuance of his scent, and every subtle shift in his posture as he moves protectively closer to me.

As he turns to leave, Sully pauses.

“One more thing.”

“What?” I ask.

What more could he possibly want to say?

“Watch yourself.”

“Is that a threat?” Costin is suddenly standing next to me.

I never saw him move.

“No,” Sully says, his eyes staying on mine.

“It’s a warning. From one wolf to another. The council is talking about putting you down as a precaution.” His gaze flicks to Costin.

“I’ll see myself out.”

After he leaves, I collapse into a chair, my mind racing.

“I never wanted any of this.”

Costin reaches to touch my cheek.

“Supernatural politics are never easy, but we’ll get through it.”

“They’re insane if they think I’d make a good leader.” I would laugh if it wasn’t so dire.

Tamara, Alpha of the Werewolves?

“Six months ago I wasn’t allowed near them. A few weeks ago was my first time in their territory and I needed you to escort me. Now I’m a psychotic mess you need to restrain to the bed to keep from eating your staff.”

“Which is exactly why they want you,” Costin leans closer, his eyes searching my face.

I wonder if I look like a monster.

I feel my skin prickling.

Is my mouth ugly and elongated like James’?

Are my eyes glowing?

I run the tip of my tongue over my teeth.

They feel sharper than usual.

“You’re unpredictable,” he continues.

“Dangerous. And, right or wrong, they believe you’re powerful enough to elevate their status.”

“And what do you think?” I ask him.

He studies me for a long moment.

“I think you’re more than you realize. I think you’ve always been more than any of us have realized. And,” his lip curls up at the corner, “I think when you say you want to eat my staff?—”

I smack his shoulder.

“I meant servants.”

“As you wish.” He nods, appearing disappointed I didn’t flirt back.

“Do you want me to take you back to your parents?”

I grimace, shaking my head.

I don’t want to deal with Uncle Mortimer right now.

I run my hands through my hair, trying to process everything while keeping my emotions under control.

“I can’t be responsible for a pack of werewolves. I can barely be responsible for myself right now.”

“The choice may not be entirely yours,” Costin says gently.

“Sully was right about one thing. The council is nervous.”

“Great. So I’m either wolf queen or dead. Fantastic options.”

“There’s a third option,” Costin says, his voice taking on that careful tone he uses when he knows I won’t like what he’s about to say.

“You could let me claim you officially as my progeny. As a master vampire, I have certain protections I could extend to you.”

Is he serious?

Our relationship is already all kinds of messed up.

This would only give him a new layer of control over me.

“At what cost?” I ask.

“I publicly claim you. The sire bond you already feel would be formalized to the council. You would be under my authority in the eyes of supernatural law.”

“So I’d be your pet.” The anger surfaces and I have a harder time pushing it down.

Soon it’s going to explode.

I hear it grumbling in my voice when I add, “Trading one leash for another.”

“You would be my official responsibility,” Costin counters.

I hate that he sounds reasonable and calm.

His eyes swirl with red as they travel over me, and I catch a flash of possessiveness that makes my pulse quicken despite my anger.

He reaches toward me but stops just short of touching my face.

I would much rather he yell and fight me.

“Nothing will change between us. I will always protect you.”

“Protected and controlled. No thank you.” What I don’t say is if I fail to get myself under control, it would be left to Costin to deal with me.

He wouldn’t be able to.

He couldn’t watch me die after he promised me he would.

I doubt he could kill me if the council demanded it of him.

“Think about it, Tamara. Please.” His eyes hold genuine concern.

I wish I could figure out what I am and what I want, not what everyone else wants me to be.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

My blood is rushing around in my veins.

“Why does it matter what I want?” I ask.

“Everyone will just make the decisions for me anyway.”

“You’re slurring your words. Here, drink this.”

When I open my eyes Costin is standing in front of me with a goblet.

I instantly smell the blood, and my senses focus in on it.

I don’t think as I grab it and pull it to my mouth.

The liquid slides past my tongue, as I gulp so fast I don’t taste it.

A drop escapes the corner of my mouth.

Before I can wipe it away, Costin’s thumb is there, swiping the blood.

Our eyes lock as he brings his thumb to his own lips.

The gesture is so intimate that heat floods through me, momentarily drowning out the hunger with a more desperate kind of need.

“Careful,” he whispers, his voice low enough that only supernatural hearing could catch it.

“Drink too fast and you’ll make yourself sick.”

I want to tell him I’m already sick.

Anger and confusion swirl inside my brain.

My hands tremble from the unwanted connection that makes me want to simultaneously throw myself into his arms and rip his throat out.

I lick my lips, watching his eyes track the movement.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I say.

“Like what?” He doesn’t pull away.

“Like nothing has changed between us. Like I’m the same. Like this is normal.”

Costin holds still for a long time, and I try to imagine all the things he’s not saying.

Is it guilt keeping him next to me?

Pity?

Does he still think he loves me?

Has he admitted to himself that I’m a monster?

“Anthony and I will speak to Davis and Mortimer on your behalf.” Costin takes a step back.

“They’re worried about the council.”

“The menfolk to the rescue,” I drawl.

It would be laughable if it wasn’t so awful.

“Do you really want to deal with them on your own?” he asks.

I sigh, shaking my head.

“Your color is better. Tell a servant to bring you blood from my food supply if you feel the slightest bit hungry. Don’t let yourself get hungry.” He starts to reach for me but then threads his hands behind his back.

“I’ll find you when we’re done. If you need me before then, I’ll know.”

I watch him leave and find myself alone in the library.